[xruthx]

hi all, just thought i would ask your thoughts on police and domestic violence, i was in a very bad relationship where my partner amongst other things stabbed me in the leg with a bread knife cos i dried the pys with the wrong towel, he then poured salt in the open wound because he could not be bothered to wait at the hospital while i was treated... this is tame to some of the things he did to me. i told the police on countless occasions but they took no notice and as a result he is now serving life for murdering his girlfreind, is it just me who think the police are crap or have others also had bad experiances

[miniminch]

Originally Posted by xruthx

hi all, just thought i would ask your thoughts on police and domestic violence, i was in a very bad relationship where my partner amongst other things stabbed me in the leg with a bread knife cos i dried the pys with the wrong towel, he then poured salt in the open wound because he could not be bothered to wait at the hospital while i was treated... this is tame to some of the things he did to me. i told the police on countless occasions but they took no notice and as a result he is now serving life for murdering his girlfreind, is it just me who think the police are crap or have others also had bad experiances

And I can't help thinking - I'm still single?

[xruthx]

lol i wont fall for it again

[beamer]

Originally Posted by xruthx

hi all, just thought i would ask your thoughts on police and domestic violence, i was in a very bad relationship where my partner amongst other things stabbed me in the leg with a bread knife cos i dried the pys with the wrong towel, he then poured salt in the open wound because he could not be bothered to wait at the hospital while i was treated... this is tame to some of the things he did to me. i told the police on countless occasions but they took no notice and as a result he is now serving life for murdering his girlfreind, is it just me who think the police are crap or have others also had bad experiances

Please feel free to correct me if i have read this wrong.

Your partner stabbed you with a knife and the Police said it was domestic violence???????

He took salt to the hospital and poured it into your wound???????

The Police took no notice of you????

I'm confused.

[melthebell]

the police are crap and it normally takes a death or 2 before they act.
nobody should have to put up with domestic violence........at least your still here, be glad for small mercys, try to get on with your life best you can and try not to let it affect you / your future relationships..........we're not all like that, hes just a ****

once on our way home from the palais we saw a bloke beating his wife / girlfriend / missus / bit on the side up behind the town hall.
told him to stop, he wouldnt.
so i stopped him by force

[Mel's Mum]

The police in South Yorkshire take domestic violence very seriously. All complaints are followed up.

[beamer]

Originally Posted by Mel's Mum

The police in South Yorkshire take domestic violence very seriously. All complaints are followed up.

Exactly my thoughts, thats why i am so confused by this thread.

I am also confused by......stabbing someone is domestic violence?????

[melthebell]

Originally Posted by beamer

Exactly my thoughts, thats why i am so confused by this thread.

I am also confused by......stabbing someone is domestic violence?????

its between a man and a woman......who live together............its domestic
its also violence, thats prolly why

[Bonny]

Many moons ago violence in a marital relationship was seen as 'domestic violence' but that changed a long time ago and the police do act upon complaints and do take action where they can. The difficulty they face is a) getting people to make a complaint b) getting the victim to give evidence and c) getting the victim to go ahead with the complaint once things have 'calmed down'.

The person who is violent in a relationship often has issues around jealousy, insecurity, anger etc.

In Canada, I believe, once a domestic violence crime is reported the police push ahead with prosecution whether or not the victim agrees. Whether that would discourage some victims from making a complaint in the first place i'm not sure.

[melthebell]

the op did say
"i told the police on countless occasions but they took no notice and as a result he is now serving life for murdering his girlfreind"

so you lot obviously dint read all her post, or blindly accept what you think about the police DO take it seriously.
or did her case fall by the wayside?

[Bonny]

The OP doesn't say WHEN she reported him to the police. In the past, things like this did get ignored or only cursory investigation. It sounds like this person got away with far too much and then some poor girl paid the ultimate price.

[Grim Reaper]

The police are taking DV a lot more seriously now, I saw this first hand after having to carry my sister unconscious into an ambulance a couple of years ago.
They were brilliant, in the end she had to have panic alarms installed.

But, the main problem is court, said ex husband was made to go on what amounted to an anger management course, woooo

[pattricia]

Some women take court proceedings,then withdraw the charges before it gets to court.

[Plain Talker]

My worst experiences of DV go back a few years, and my experience of the police at that time was very similar to the OP's. I sustained violence from my first partner, over a number of years.

The police didn't take it seriously, I even had an injunction out on him, to prevent him approaching me, which was about as much use as a chocolate chip-pan. He broke the injunction to assault me, I was beaten up, badly, sustaining a fractured cheekbone, and bad bruising.

even the courts were a joke, I was never called to give evidence in the court case, and he only got a year's conditional discharge.

This was the man who threatened to arson my house, kill me and my family, who put me through hell.

I had no support to get away from him, from the police and courts, it was an utter joke. I felt so powerless.

[redrobbo]

I've worked professionally in the field of domestic violence for many years(and no, I was geing paid for beating up women), and was instrumental in setting up the first 'battered wives' refuge in north Derbyshire.

My experience over several decades is that the police certainly did not treat domestic violence seriously at all. You've only got to go back to the pioneering work of Erin Pizzey (read 'Scream quietly or the Neighbours will Hear', edited by Alison Forbes Harmondsworth : Penguin, 1974) to appreciate that the victims of domestic violence, the women and their children, had to escape to a refuge to get away from the constant physical battering and abuse. It was often seen as the women's fault that her husband/partner assaulted her, and unless the woman pressed charges, the police did not treat the matter seriously.

As a body of evidence began to be built up and appreciated as to the causes of domestic violence, namely that the women victims themselves were not responsible for the abuse they suffered, society's attitudes began to change. Research also showed that a man who is violent towards his female partner has a high correlation with violence suffered by children in the same household.

Police procedures have now changed. The perpetrator of so-called 'domestic' violence is now regarded in the same light as the perpetrator of violence towards towards any victim, and they will be arrested. If charged, they will usually be bailed to stay at another address, thus allowing the women and her children to remain in their own home. Court proceedings now longer rely upon the victim pressing charges, and even if the woman herself wishes to drop court proceedings, the police will continue with a prosecution in their own right.

I do not know when the OP experienced the problems she outlined. I suspect it was not recently, as the police are now much more alert to the issues of 'domestic' violence, and nowadays take a much tougher approach to the perpetrator.
After all, 'domestic' violence is a crime.

[Andy]

Originally Posted by redrobbo

I was geing paid for beating up women

I can see the headlines in tomorrow's Star already

On a serious point, I guess it's hard for the Police - there are likely to be no witnesses and so it's just one person's word against the other. And often the victim will change their mind about pressing charges anyway. The police can't act unless they have evidence.

[funkymiss]

Originally Posted by Plain Talker

I had no support to get away from him, from the police and courts, it was an utter joke. I felt so powerless.

Sounds awful PT.
I heard a news item on the radio a couple of months ago. A woman was talking about how she had been physically hurt by her partner on a number of occassions. She has children and is scared to leave the house. She was talking about the panic alarms and locks the police had 'kindly' installed in her house. So this violent man walks free and she and her children are prisoners in their own home? I don't understand, is there some kind of loophole in the law?

[Plain Talker]

Ruth, ducks, don't beat yourself up, (in a manner of speaking). It is always easy to be wise after the event. It was not your fault that the police did not take the report seriously enough.

Many violent or abusive men (and women) can put on the best of faces to the public. My violent ex- could always be relied on to act the very picture of devotion when in "company", but his fists could, and would, fly, when we were in private. he was so convincing in his "love, concern, and distress" when I had fled, to a refuge, that a "friend" actually was persuaded to tell him where I was hiding-out... I was completely horror-struck, when I saw him turn up at the door of the refuge. My own safety, and that of the other women there was compromised. It also (naturally!) got me into a huge amount of bother with the charity which ran the refuge, as they thought that I'd told him directly where the refuge was. (I had, foolishly, trusted said friend, that she would not betray a confidence in blabbing where the hostel was)

[Plain Talker]

Originally Posted by funkymiss

Sounds awful PT.
I heard a news item on the radio a couple of months ago. A woman was talking about how she had been physically hurt by her partner on a number of occassions. She has children and is scared to leave the house. She was talking about the panic alarms and locks the police had 'kindly' installed in her house. So this violent man walks free and she and her children are prisoners in their own home? I don't understand, is there some kind of loophole in the law?

I went through hell trying to escape from that man. He was my first partner, and at first, I suppose, I was naive and did not know any better. His beatings were accompanied by the assurances that "I'm only doing this because I love you!!!"

If I had a penny, for every time the authorities say "We cannot do anything, until he actually commits an act of harm upon the person" when an abused partner tries to get help, I would be a rich woman today.

An abused woman (yeah... or man!) should be able to have the confidence to go to the police, go to a solicitor, go to the courts, go to the housing department, and know that the appropriate level of help and support will be available to her, should she need it.

How can the abused woman have this confidence that she can escape and rebuild her life, if she cannot rely on getting the support she needs to protect her? especialy when we frequently hear tales of women who have pleaded for help to escape, but are trapped by inaction of the authorities?

[artisan]

Originally Posted by redrobbo

I've worked professionally in the field of domestic violence for many years(and no, I was geing paid for beating up women), and was instrumental in setting up the first 'battered wives' refuge in north Derbyshire.

.

Is an 'edit' required there redrobbo?