[Yellowrose]

I havent been out since August - I mean a night out. We have care of our two grandchildren, by residence order/parental responsibility. They live with us full time, they are 1 and 3 they are both demanding. It takes a special person to sit for them. My parents are too far away, his parents are too old but could do it at a push but in their own home. We had someone from our old nursery to sit last time before we moved house.

This time we have pressed our 24 year old son and his girlfriend into action to babysit for the first time. They havent any kids but have been around ours enough to know them. Theyve never changed a nappy though! We now live close to them so its the first time we ve asked them.

When I was a teen I used to babysit my cousins, but I honestly couldnt ask a teen to take these two on! (even if I did know one!).

What do you do for a babysitter?

Do you go out much?

[candystick]

I know how you feel Yellowrose, the last time i went out was around the begining of September, I would ideally like to go out at least once a month but it is difficult trying to find someone to look after the kids. I am a single parent with 4 children and only one of my children will go and stay with his dad at the weekend and sometimes one of my daughters might go and stay at my mums overnight.
Anyway the last time i went out my eldest daughter babysat for me ( she's 17), or sometimes if my daughter is babysitting for my friend my mum will babysit (but she doesn't like me being out too late).

[littlestarshine]

my children go to stay with their dad one night a week so if i do want to get out i can (im 8 1/2 month pregnant so that not much at the mo!), my mom is also really good and will baby sit on a tues or weds if me and my hubby wanna go for a meal, my brother in law is always there if we need him too, but for a long time i had no one to help me, wen i first became a mom and my ex was being a bit of a erm twit is the polite word i hardly ever went out of the house never mind going to the pub or shopping, it nearly drove me insane!

i commened u for having ur granchildren it must be very difficult and very rewarding too,,

[babychickens]

i got out last week - my husband was dahn in la belle london for a couple of nights, which was annoying as my work corridor christmas do was one of the nights he was away. i miss my work mates (i'm still on maternity leave, but only for another 4.5 weeks, wahey!) and really wanted to go, so dumped the babby on a mate at about 6, and picked her up again by 9. nights out are now shortened versions of what they used to be, but for the last year or so before i was pregnant i had got in the habit of always going home when i was still enjoying myself and not just drinking for the sake of being out.

anyway, back to the OP - i have a friend who intends to procreate in 3/4 years time who very kindly takes the baby fairly often (in exchange for my future sanity-preserving short-notice babysitting, presumably) - probably about 4/5 times over the last 2 months. my husband's sister lives in leeds and is besotted with her neice, so happily comes over for an evening of quality time (obviously the husband and i respect this time by leaving the house and going to the cinema/out for dinner) about once per month. other than that, my parents have babysat a couple of times, but on those occasions we've been staying at their house and gone out from there.

that said, i find it very hard indeed coping with a baby by myself during the day. i don't get out too often to meet other people (maybe 2/3 times per week), i just find it really quite stressful keeping everything at home flowing smoothly/well fed/clean....seriously, the first time sister-in-law babysat at around 4 months was the first time i'd been away from the baby, it felt as if a huge dark cloud was gone for a few hours; i didn't realise how hard i'd been finding it. now i make a point of de-stressing at least once per week, whether leaving the baby with the husband and going to do the food shopping, or going out and getting smashed on bad cocktails and wine.

[Zebra]

Having twins makes babysitting a bit of a challenge so we only have my Mum, one of my closest friends and my fellas Mum (but only when visiting in Sheffield and only if they are going to bed).
No one else looks after our girls,, even the ones who do struggle to cope so I daren't inflict them on anyone else until they're old enough to do something on their own, like get partly dressed or eat a full meal without intervention. A bit of speech would be useful too.
So, we last went out as a couple in September for Mr Z's birthday. My Mum and Dad have the girls if I have a work booking or meeting and once a month or so they have them for an afternoon so we can get big DIY or household jobs done without the mini mischief makers on hand.

[cosywolf]

Luckily, my in-laws have cosycub overnight once a week anyway <ducks missiles thrown by envious parents and grandparents not wanting their kids to get any ideas> and I realise how very lucky we are to have that time. But Tuesday isn't exactly the time for a wild night out, and we have no spare money, so we usually just attend work meetings or catch up on chores .

A neighbour also helps out, and will kidnap him to her house or down the park for an hour or two in the day on the odd weekend to keep me sane. And another good friend will happily play lions and tigers with him for hours while we DIY, roaring until he's hoarse. Both these fabulous souls are pressed into very occassional service of an evening, but I could count the times on one hand. And cosycub is definitely asleep in bed and never knows a thing about it.

I have only ever left him with a bona fide babysitter once in his 20 months, and that was very recently in Texas, when I had no choice. Lovely lass, in her 20s, a friend of my sister and a trainee nurse...and I was still beside myself. And he wouldn't go to sleep, so he was awake and screaming the house down when we left. I felt horrendous ...he, though, apparently kept it up until I was out of earshot and couldn't be made to feel any worse, then settled down to a fantastic evening of play with his new friend.

If I'm honest, I'm not a hundred percent comfortable with leaving him with a young lass I don't know very well, recommended or not, either. Which is ridiculous of me, because I used to babysit, from 13 years old, and some mad people left me with tiny babies and they and I never thought another thing of it. Double standards, lol. I always swore I would never be a neurotic mum!

The main block, really, though, is the money issue. If we scrape up enough to go out, chances are there's none left over for babysitting. So we tend to go out separately, leaving the other at home, which probably sounds awful, but we both enjoy the time to ourselves so can't be too bad for us.

I've often considered starting a babysitting collective of all the parents I know... babysitting for babysitting, so no money involved, but I never quite got around to working out the logistics, e.g. if you all have small children, who goes to whose house to do the sitting? Any ideas gratefully received...

[Zebra]

Cosy that's a great idea. A possible solution could be if both sets of parents are around, who ever is babysitting can leave their partner at home with their child whilst babysitting for yours.

[cosywolf]

Yep, Zebra, that was the best fix, I thought. It would certainly save money. If it got bigger than a very few good friends, I think you'd need to run it a bit like a time bank, with people logging hours and someone making sure everyone got their fair share. Possibly even more like a time bank, trading other tasks for babysitting, if you fancied it.

But as usual, I have these ideas, then they fall through the holes in my brain...

[elora*]

as a single parent whose parents are elderly and busy! i have very few babysitting options, my mum is very kindly coming over this week to look after my daughter so that i can go on the works xmas do, and my ex is having her for a couple of days after xmas, and i can't wait for that! i'm looking forward to that more than christmas, which is a bit sad really.. but it's very difficult, if i were to join a babysitting 'co-op' then my daughter would have to come with me...

[Yellowrose]

Originally Posted by cosywolf

The main block, really, though, is the money issue. If we scrape up enough to go out, chances are there's none left over for babysitting. So we tend to go out separately, leaving the other at home, which probably sounds awful, but we both enjoy the time to ourselves so can't be too bad for us.

I've often considered starting a babysitting collective of all the parents I know... babysitting for babysitting, so no money involved, but I never quite got around to working out the logistics, e.g. if you all have small children, who goes to whose house to do the sitting? Any ideas gratefully received...

I feel like this with the money too, its too much out of the budget on top of a night out to pay say £20 babysitting isnt it? (mind you worth every penny!).

I was in a babysitting circle on an estate where my own children grew up about 20 years ago. You sat for someone and they paid you back for sitting for you. I did it with a lady who had a girl the same age as my eldest: we all knew each other from toddler group. She had a very easy evening as ours was always in bed early. Her children werent much trouble if you insisted they went to bed. But it kind of got so I didnt want to sit any more when I had a new baby, plus she didnt want to sit for a new baby and then the arrangement broke down.

NB in the babysitting circle was a notorious family (nothing bad just very active troublesome boys) that no one would sit for!!! Would hate that to be me.

So it works best really if you are all in the same area together.

[sauerkraut]

Originally Posted by cosywolf

.

I've often considered starting a babysitting collective of all the parents I know... babysitting for babysitting, so no money involved, but I never quite got around to working out the logistics, e.g. if you all have small children, who goes to whose house to do the sitting? Any ideas gratefully received...

I was in a babysitting circle when my children were smaller. There must have been about 15 of us altogether. The person who set it up printed a load of babysitting tokens. When you joined, you were issued with 15 tokens to start off with, and then there was a payment system - 1 token per hour or part thereof, double after midnight - so you could "pay" for your babysitting without always needing to keep tabs on who had sat for whom. We took it in turns to be "secretary" for a month and when you wanted a sitter you contacted the secretary to arrange it for you. She kept an eye on how many tokens everyone had so as to try & share the work out fairly. The secretary part didn't always work out that well though as members tended to contact their own "favourite" sitter direct and then forgot to report how many tokens had been exchanged. It sounds quite complicated written down but on the whole the system worked pretty well. If you had to stay home with your own children though, then the children you sat for had to be brought to you - overnight, if need be - which doesn't suit everyone.

[NatalieSheff]

Go out? Whats that? To be honest i love taking Mo out with us he loves Sette Coli in hillsborough! We took him to a Turkish rest on London Rd the other week-they loved him! We are usually home by 8.30pm (oh dirty stop outs!!)
If we go out out, then one of his Godparents and wife and kids have him. WE leave them with a home made curry or chilli and its great.
I worry that he wont settle or hell cry and they wont want to phone us or theyll forget to put his Angelcare on or give him Bernie
But generally they let him stay up a little late and knacker him out so i get lay in!!

[snooze]

simular problem eldest is demanding, special needs kid, so dont ask/ expect others to mind her. we get a break when she goes to her dads but i have 3 others under 4 so if i me or hubby get out its separately while the other looks after kids. cannot remember when we last went out together think it was on our anniversary last yr, medowfarm with all kids in tow. i got out last wk first time in 5months was home before 10pm. great we usually try to get friends to visit and have a drink whith them when kids r in bed. thankful that partied while young so dont miss it too much.

[babycakesuk]

Hi all i have 5 kids we tend to split them when we go out, as i find no one person can cope with the lot all at once, so the two eldest who are autistic go to my parents (wonder people) and the youngest three go to my sisters or have a sitter at home, not that i tend to go out much usually birthdays and anniversary.
For all you looking for a sitter tho i run a sitting service i'm building it up at the mo, as i plan to give up my job next year to go back to college then uni to become a midwife, i'm CRB checked and have references.
Happy Christmas to you all. My website is www.thesheffieldbabysitter.co.uk

[em2007]

i'm very lucky! my mum and 3 sisters are always available at short notice! (my single, baby-less friends haven't quite realised i need at least 5 weeks notice to be ready on time for a night out!) and don't charge either!

can't believe people used to leave me in charge of their children and lickle babies when i was about 14! i was always ok and looked after them well but i don't think i could leave my own with a 14 year old. not a baby anyway.

but as someone else said me and my partner spend a lot of time together in the house and its nice to be able to go out seperately, in which case lickle em stays at home.

[Yellowrose]

Well I had my night out, had a lovely meal and our babysitters (my son age 24 and his girlfriend) were OK but Im not sure if they would want to do it regular. We didnt stay out late though.

The whole thing has left me exhausted though!!! I was supposed to get a rest!

[cosywolf]

Congrats on your night out, Yellowrose. Lol. HAve a good rest before the next one...