Notification Of Compulsory Enlistment

Moon Maiden · 05-02-2003, 18:40

Under the Emergency Powers Act (1939) as amended by the Defence Act(197

, you are hereby notified that you are required to place yourself on standby for possible compulsory military service in the American Conflict. You may shortly be ordered to depart for the Middle East where you will join either the 3rd Battalion The Queen's Own Suicidal Conscripts or the 2nd Foot and Mouth. The regulars are too busy driving Green Goddesses to be there themselves. Due to the recent rundown of the Navy and the refusal of P&O to lend us
any of their liners, because of the deplorable state in which they were returned after the Falklands adventure, it will be necessary for you to make your own way to the combat zone.

H.M. Government have been able to negotiate a 20% iscount on one way trips with Virgin Airlines and you are strongly urged to take advantage of this offer (Ryan Air also do a nice little £9.99 trip). Because of cutbacks in Government expenditure in recent years it will be necessary for you to
provide yourself with the following equipment as soon as possible:
* Combat Jacket
* Trousers(preferably khaki - but please no denim)
* Tin helmet
* Boots (or a pair of sturdy trainers)
* Gas mask
* Map of the combat zone (the Ordinance Survey 1:2800 Outdoor Leisure Map of Iraq will do)
* Rifle
* Ammunition (preferably to suit previous item)
* Suntan oil

If you are in a position to afford it, we would like you to buy a
tank (Vickers Defence of Banbury are currently offering all new
conscripts a 0% finance deal on all X registration Chieftains, but hurry, as offer is only available whilst stocks last).
We would like to reassure you that in the unlikely event of anything going wrong, you will receive a free burial in the graveyard of your choice, and your next of kin will be entitled to the new War Widows pension of £1.75 per calendar month, index-linked but subject to means testing, and fully repayable should our side eventually lose. There may be little time for formal military training before your departure and so we advise that you hire videos of the following films and try and pick up a few tips as you watch:
* The Guns of Navarron
* Kelly's Heroes
* A Bridge to Far
* The Longest Day
* Apocalypse Now
* The Dirty Dozen
* Hamburger Hill
* Full Metal Jacket
* Missing In Action

We do not recommend that you watch Khartoum. To mentally prepare yourself for your mission try reading the works of
Wilfred Owen or Rupert Brookes. This should give you some idea of what may be involved.

Yours faithfully,

G Hoon, Ministry of Defence.

A Bush - Blair Production
Sponsored by Coca-Cola, The Official Drink of World War III

Geoff · 07-02-2003, 17:12

This is excellent - I can't believe no-one replied before!

Did you make it up yourself? Or was it one of those email things?

Geoff

halevan · 10-02-2003, 12:59

Ha bloody Ha!

Moon Maiden · 10-02-2003, 14:05

No - i found it on one of the forums I visit.

I largely take part in pagan/witchy forums, I am finding large numbers of people 'offended' by it. Large group postings about the anti war marches in February *puke*

Am I the only person in the whole world who just cannot see why they are all whinging.

In war people die - sad fact - helps with over population - there ya go. People have gone to war over less.

Moon Maiden

10-02-2003, 14:30

The Anti War campaigners, have the right to demonstrate, due to the fact that our ancestors fought two world wars etc !
Can they not see the logic, yes people die in wars, always have, always will, that is why the act of war is not taken lightly !
Problem with the Anti War 'brigade', is they would not have wanted Hitler sorting out, in fact Tony Benn would probably have gone for a chat with him !

Moon Maiden · 10-02-2003, 14:34

Yeah - point taken - they do have a right to campaign against the war.

Heaven help us if conscription is brought in - all those folk as concientious objectors. It's a flippin insult to those that died and suffered in the wars gone by - and the thousands still buried under Sheffield

Moon Maiden

Michael_W · 10-02-2003, 14:38

Forgot to log in again that Guest was me again !

Michael_W · 10-02-2003, 14:40

Totally Agree 100% the Anti War mob are an insult to those who fought for their freedom !

11-02-2003, 12:01

try reading some war poetry (Owen etc) and then argue that an anti-war protest is an insult to those who died.

11-02-2003, 15:20

Wilfred Owen:

"...We laughed, knowing that better men would come,
And greater wars,
When each proud fighter brags:
He wars on Death, for Life,
Not men for flags".

I am pretty certain that he wouldn't have been insulted that thousands (millions?) of people are going to London this weekend to argue that bombing is not the solution. He would have been proud. Instead of arguing that war is inevitable or unavoidable I think that we should be trying to be the 'better men' that he writes about - for the sake of those, like Owen, who died or lost loved ones during war.

Moon Maiden · 11-02-2003, 16:34

Quote:

Instead of arguing that war is inevitable or unavoidable I think that we should be trying to be the 'better men' that he writes about - for the sake of those, like Owen, who died or lost loved ones during war.

You can talk about being the better man all you like when we have a country full of muslim fanatics wishing to sell your daughters because it will become the first religion of the UK.
Or better still - you stand up for your rights - as you take your right to speak out against war now - but the taliban is ruling now so you and your family and all associated heretics are murdered.

Like me - who lost relatives during WWI & II. Had family in the Falkslands and who did frequent tours of Ireland, not to mention my uncle who served during the gulf war and who will put his arse back on the line again in this war flying over enemy territory.

Do not preach to me about lost soldiers - I am the child of a long line of soldiers, sailors and Air Force personel and I can love & light it as good as the next person - I just happen to live in this reality and not the one in your head.

Why don't you just spit in the face of every serviceman and woman in the British Isles and have done with it - they didn't join up to play mickey mouse and have tea parties - they joined to protect this country and us in peacetime and in war. The vast majority of them will be fully trained and prepared for war - unlike some recruits in the Falklands and WW1 & 2.

War is not pretty is not nice but if it means I don't have to walk round speaking in a foreign language and i am as free as I am now to practise the religion I wish to - then lets kick their arses please.

You can sign your petitions and make your marches it is your right. But you are not going to convince me that there is a peaceful solution to a madman and religious fantatics.

Moon Maiden

Michael_W · 11-02-2003, 16:53

Life is not about poetry
Poetry is about life

So Guest, what is the alternative solution offered by our Anti War demonstrators ?????
I haven't heard one yet !

nomme · 12-02-2003, 09:19

Quote:

So Guest, what is the alternative solution offered by our Anti War demonstrators ?????
I haven't heard one yet !

What exactly do you perceive as "the problem"?
Please supply evidence/facts to support your proposition.

regards
Nomme

12-02-2003, 11:00

I, too, have family who serve in the armed forces (including two uncles and a cousin). I very much respect the fact that they risk their lives and I certainly do not think that I am spitting in their faces by arguing that we should not go to war and they should not have to risk their lives.

I used to think that anti-war protesters were missing something vital: that sometimes you do have to fight (physically) to defend yourself. It's difficult because I still believe that on a basic level this may still be true. However, I have increasingly come to understand that most of the time these situations can be avoided and that it is in fact those who argue for war who frequently fail to see the wider picture.

Did you know that America armed and trained Bin Laden (a ruthless terrorist even then) during the 80s so he would fight against Russia? Britain sold arms to Iraq so they would fight Iran. They also armed Iran in return. The West is not an innocent victim of a worldwide Moslem plot - they are powerful and active and have been creating problems in the world for years.

No Iraqis were involved in Sep 11. Saudi Arabians were - shall we bomb them? Iraq isn't going to attack us because if it did, we'd nuke it. Saddam knows this. We are trying to humiliate a country in a way that we would never expect to be humiliated ourselves. All the time, its people suffer and starve and now are about to be bombed. How can this be a solution?

Sorry for the long message, but these are points that need explanation and discussion.

Michael_W · 12-02-2003, 15:59

nommedenet wrote:

Quote:

What exactly do you perceive as "the problem"?
Please supply evidence/facts to support your proposition

War on Iraq ?

The Problem :
Saddam Hussein

Evidence/Facts :
Information supplied by US and UK governments, NATO etc..

My postings on here focus on the understanding (or lack of), with the Anti War demonstrators. I may be being unfair and generalising, but I can just picture them now:

Anti US/Bush/UK/Blair slogans etc..
Socialist Workers ?????????
Pacifists and 'do gooders'
Left Wing MPs and a sprinkling of so called celebs...

I'm sorry but they just make me sick !!

Moon Maiden · 12-02-2003, 19:05

You seriously think that the UK would waste Nuclear bombs on Hussain when the special forces could take him out?

I am seriously supprised at that comment. And that is not taking into account the fact that if either the UK or the US launched nuclear attacks then the leaders of the other countries against this war would have no choice but to launch against us.

Saddam knows this - he isn't afraid of being nuked.

I agree that Bush is most likely using this thing with Iraq and the fact we should have finished him off the first time round to get into a revenge war with whoever it was took out the towers. But I want Saddam out of the picture.

At this precise moment in time (and I shudder saying this) we need 'ole Thatcher back - because our leaders haven't got the ****** to sort this situation out in a peaceful way. She managed it with Gadafi did she not?

My memory may be off as I was in junior school at the time - but I remember alot of worry about war with Gadafi - and the ole battleaxe never did it and put him back in his place.

So if you believe that situation can be sorted out in other ways than combat (which is a view I share too) Give me one for this situation.

Which political figure is going to have enough respect, balls and charisma to convince these religious fanatics and madmen to stand down?

Moon Maiden

nomme · 13-02-2003, 09:27

Quote:

Originally posted by "Michael_W"

War on Iraq ?

The Problem :
Saddam Hussein

So are you saying war is justifiable in order to take out just 1 man?
Um.. like they tried to with Bin Laden and Castro?

Quote:

Originally posted by "Michael_W"

Evidence/Facts :
Information supplied by US and UK governments, NATO etc..

Oh like that 12 year old cut 'n paste student report - yeah right. Could you quote a few URLs that detail this 'information'?

Quote:

Originally posted by "Michael_W"

My postings on here focus on the understanding (or lack of), with the Anti War demonstrators. I may be being unfair and generalising, but I can just picture them now:

Anti US/Bush/UK/Blair slogans etc..
Socialist Workers ?????????
Pacifists and 'do gooders'
Left Wing MPs and a sprinkling of so called celebs...

I'm sorry but they just make me sick !!

Fair enough. It's just that to me if you are so anti -"anti-war" you must be pro war. I'm just interested in your views as to why you think war is justifiable.
It's just that I've not seen or heard any decent argument to justify war on Iraq - just a lot of spin doctoring.

Moon Maiden · 13-02-2003, 09:53

Quote:

So are you saying war is justifiable in order to take out just 1 man?
Um.. like they tried to with Bin Laden and Castro?

And Hitler you moron - or have you forgot just what ONE man can accomplish???

Apart from which - as I understand our special forces - that being the United Kingdom - were stopped from going for Bin Laden. The yanks couldn't organise a p*** up in a brewery.

Moon Maiden

nomme · 13-02-2003, 10:22

Moon Maiden wrote:

Quote:

And Hitler you moron - or have you forgot just what ONE man can accomplish???

Calm down. No need for name calling.
I'm quite aware of the second world war thank you. As I recall it, it started with Germany attacking another country. I was merely pointing out that the spectacular failures in the past of going after just ONE man.
Now justify your argument for attacking Iraq.

Moon Maiden wrote:

Quote:

Apart from which - as I understand our special forces - that being the United Kingdom - were stopped from going for Bin Laden. The yanks couldn't organise a p*** up in a brewery.
Moon Maiden

That's interesting - what was the reason given for that then?

disillusioned · 13-02-2003, 10:32

Only a fool actually wants war, but surely the people who are currently handwringing and going on marches to protest can see the big picture.
Saddam Hussein is a tyrant who actively oppresses his own people and is a danger, not only to the middle east but to the world. I agree with the other posters who say he should have been taken out the first time, but it was the Anti-War brigade who kicked up such a fuss that stopped this occuring. So now 12 years down the line, Saddam is still making a mockery of the UN, see todays news for example, the weapons inspectors have found missiles which contravne UN resolutions! He needs taking out and need now.
Lets be honest though, it cannot and will not stop there. North Korea has started up a Nuclear program and has already stated they will fire first if neccessary. Al Qaeda seem to be gearing up to kill more civillians, in our owncountry, we have religious fanatics whose self declared purpose is to destroy us and our way of life. Do these marchers think that sitting round a campfire, holding hands and singing peace songs really think that it is going to change their views and life a nice, orderly peaceful life. Get real, if and when a major terrorist incident happens or should we do nothing about Hussain and Korea, they will have the blood of many thousands of innocent people on their collective hands. Ok, there may well be civillian deaths in a conflict with Iraq, something we should all fear and abhor, but the big difference is the enemys of democracy will actually try to kill civilians, whereas our stated aim is to take out their military and provide stability and peace for future generations.