What training do I need to be an Old Age Pensioner?

shoeshine · 07-07-2006, 21:58

I am giving some thought to my future. Best to be prepared.

I have only ever done jobs for which I have been eminently qualified.

My mind is therefore turning to the training I will need to be a full blown, superbly equipped Old Age Pensioner when the time comes.

What qualities do you think an pre-OAP should hone to perfection?

How can I study the quintessential persona of a being a pensioner in the best traditions of the same?

ANGELUS · 07-07-2006, 21:59

Your fine just the way you are mate!

Godzilla · 07-07-2006, 22:00

The belief that you are entitled to say anything you like, no matter how insensitive or contraversial.

ANGELUS · 07-07-2006, 22:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godzilla

The belief that you are entitled to say anything you like, no matter how insensitive or contraversial.

Thats me already then!
Well I'm sorted for age already at the tender age of 27.. I'm looking forward to it now.

Now where is my poking stick

cloudybay · 07-07-2006, 22:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoeshine

I am giving some thought to my future. Best to be prepared.

I have only ever done jobs for which I have been eminently qualified.

Sounds interesting

My mind is therefore turning to the training I will need to be a full blown, superbly equipped Old Age Pensioner when the time comes.

Good

What qualities do you think an pre-OAP should hone to perfection?

The use of a bed

How can I study the quintessential persona of a being a pensioner in the best traditions of the same?

Can we talk in private dear...........??

pattricia · 07-07-2006, 22:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoeshine

I am giving some thought to my future. Best to be prepared.

I have only ever done jobs for which I have been eminently qualified.

My mind is therefore turning to the training I will need to be a full blown, superbly equipped Old Age Pensioner when the time comes.

What qualities do you think an pre-OAP should hone to perfection?

How can I study the quintessential persona of a being a pensioner in the best traditions of the same?

You just stay the same,but get up later in the morning !

hazel · 07-07-2006, 22:05

hi Sunshine,
I don't think you need to train, you have already the requirements.
Patience, understanding, tolerance, humility, good manners and an ability to be comfortable in your own skin

hazel

littleboo · 07-07-2006, 22:06

make sure that you jump all queues just go straight to the front! then proceed to go on and on about how younger people have no manners

pattricia · 07-07-2006, 22:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazel

hi Sunshine,
I don't think you need to train, you have already the requirements.
Patience, understanding, tolerance, humility, good manners and an ability to be comfortable in your own skin

hazel

Flattery will get you everywhere Hazel.!

hazel · 07-07-2006, 22:14

Hi Pattricia

I meant it ,
thats exactly the requirments you need to combat the state of not being young, I forgot to add the most important thing-- wisdom
hazel

ANGELUS · 07-07-2006, 22:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleboo

make sure that you jump all queues just go straight to the front! then proceed to go on and on about how younger people have no manners

Thats a definite requirement

And also you need to be able to utter the immortal words- 'When I was young...' frequently as well.

shoeshine · 07-07-2006, 22:33

I have practised my "whingeing" techniques a bit, and was rude to one of the cats yesterday.....is that a good start?

ANGELUS · 07-07-2006, 22:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoeshine

I have practised my "whingeing" techniques a bit, and was rude to one of the cats yesterday.....is that a good start?

Your doing well mate- keep up the good work

I have to ask- what did you say to the cats yesterday?

Did you shake your fist at it and go 'why you little'

shoeshine · 07-07-2006, 22:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by cloudybay

Can we talk in private dear...........??

Oh you are a wicked editor of quotations.......but I like you.........

shoeshine · 07-07-2006, 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGELUS

Your doing well mate- keep up the good work

I have to ask- what did you say to the cats yesterday?

Did you shake your fist at it and go 'why you little'

No, bear in mind I am only a Trainee OAP at this stage.

I said, in a wheedling voice "Please remove your claws from my face. On my pittance of a Pension I can't afford to keep buying Sticking Plasters".

Do you think I qualify yet?

......

Titian · 07-07-2006, 22:40

well apart from the training, you may need surgery of some kind to construct your elbows to give the sensation of spikes to passers by in the M&S sales.

Jabberwocky · 07-07-2006, 22:41

Standing in post office queues smelling of stale urine on a hot day.

Im 45 and I try to make sure that I do it as often as possible.
Its good practise.

Jabberwocky · 07-07-2006, 22:42

Stepping off of an escalator at the bottom and not moving an inch. Even though the people behind you are piling up on top of each other.

Doing the same with a lift.
Get out of it and stand stock still in inch from the doors.

pattricia · 07-07-2006, 22:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

Stepping off of an escalator at the bottom and not moving an inch. Even though the people behind you are piling up on top of each other.

Doing the same with a lift.
Get out of it and stand stock still in inch from the doors.

I find the younger ones(40s & 50s) hold the escalator up by talking on their mobile phones.I heard one woman shout in her mobile"Tracey,get that lad out of your bedroom immediately!!"

Jabberwocky · 07-07-2006, 22:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by pattricia

I find the younger ones(40s & 50s) hold the escalator up by talking on their mobile phones.I heard one woman shout in her mobile"Tracey,get that lad out of your bedroom immediately!!"

I just do it for the hell of it.