Older dads - How do you feel about them?

Mo · 02-06-2003, 17:34

Following up on the news that Paul Mc will be a dad at 60, how do you all feel about older dads? Do you have an older dad or are you an older dad?

Is it a selfish whim to want to start another family at 60 when he already has a grown up family?

I had my last child at 38 when my husband was 34. Can you believe it but we were once asked if we were the grandparents

ops:

Personally, I don't think that it matters so long as the child is wanted. Sadly children can loose their parents at any age but I accept that it is more likely with an older parent.

Clik32 · 02-06-2003, 18:43

I'm 18, my dad's 60. Does that count?? All my friends at school used to ask me if it scared me that my dad was so old and could die earlier in my life!!

He's a young 60 though, and probably fitter than me! He will retire (bus driver) in 5 years. I love me dad me!!
Chloé

Moon Maiden · 03-06-2003, 08:56

My hubby could be classed as an older dad I guess. Our daughter has just gone 2 and he is coming up on 42 and we are still planning on at least one more.

I was brought up by my grandparents, who are for obvious reasons, probably more likely to have died whilst I was young. It used to scare me and I tried to prepare myself for them dying whilst I was still at school. I wouldn't wish that on a child and it grieves me to see older parents doing that to their children.

I guess there are pro's and con's to both sides, but even Nos(the hubby) has set himself a cut off point. He wants to be able to see his kids grow up and if he is still reproducing when he turns 60/70 chances are he won't.

Moon Maiden

DaBouncer · 03-06-2003, 09:00

Quote:

Originally posted by "Moon Maiden"

My hubby could be classed as an older dad I guess. Our daughter has just gone 2 and he is coming up on 42 and we are still planning on at least one more.

I was brought up by my grandparents, who are for obvious reasons, probably more likely to have died whilst I was young. It used to scare me and I tried to prepare myself for them dying whilst I was still at school. I wouldn't wish that on a child and it grieves me to see older parents doing that to their children.

I guess there are pro's and con's to both sides, but even Nos(the hubby) has set himself a cut off point. He wants to be able to see his kids grow up and if he is still reproducing when he turns 60/70 chances are he won't.

Moon Maiden

MY dad is 54 and although I'm 25 I have 4 younger 'half' siblings who range between 5 and 11. He has been a busy boy. I do however feel that men should set themselves a time scale to have children. The thought of a parent or guardian passing away whilst I was at school would have given me serious issues as a child (thankfully I didn't have to go through that). Also the older a man is when creating off-spring the more likely it is of complications (disabilities).

Moon Maiden · 03-06-2003, 09:07

Quote:

Also the older a man is when creating off-spring the more likely it is of complications (disabilities).

Really?? I thought the problems were related to the age of the mother???

Moon Maiden

DaBouncer · 03-06-2003, 09:56

Quote:

Originally posted by "Moon Maiden"

Quote:

Also the older a man is when creating off-spring the more likely it is of complications (disabilities).

Really?? I thought the problems were related to the age of the mother???

Moon Maiden

I've read or heard somewhere that its both. An older man having children has a greater chance of creating offspring with complications.

richard · 03-06-2003, 16:35

My dad has a two month old, an 11 month old, a one year old, a two year old, a four year old, a twelve year old and me. He's 51. I thought it was daft but my dad's become a much better man because of all the kids, and his wife - my step mum - is 37, so she isn't old.

Moon Maiden · 03-06-2003, 16:56

My god they have been busy!!!!

:shock:

Moon Maiden

richard · 03-06-2003, 19:17

No more though. He's had the snip.

Moon Maiden · 03-06-2003, 19:20

I should think he has an all

:shock: There is 2 1/2 years between my two, god knows what state I would be in with those intervals!!!!

Moon Maiden

alchresearch · 04-06-2003, 14:44

Quote:

Originally posted by "DaBouncer"

MY dad is 54 and although I'm 25 I have 4 younger 'half' siblings who range between 5 and 11.

Spooky. My dad is the same, I'm 29 and also have 4 younger half siblings between 6 and 13!

kirky · 28-11-2005, 17:44

Quote:

Originally posted by Chloe
I'm 18, my dad's 60. Does that count?? All my friends at school used to ask me if it scared me that my dad was so old and could die earlier in my life!! He's a young 60 though, and probably fitter than me! He will retire (bus driver) in 5 years. I love me dad me!!
Chloé

your dads a nice bloke........i forgot he was a bus driver i hope he doesn't read my anti-bus driver threads

robbie · 28-11-2005, 17:57

Quote:

Originally posted by Mo
Following up on the news that Paul Mc will be a dad at 60, how do you all feel about older dads? Do you have an older dad or are you an older dad?

Is it a selfish whim to want to start another family at 60 when he already has a grown up family?

I had my last child at 38 when my husband was 34. Can you believe it but we were once asked if we were the grandparents ops:

Personally, I don't think that it matters so long as the child is wanted. Sadly children can loose their parents at any age but I accept that it is more likely with an older parent.

my dad is 72. The issue I had was a severe generation gap. wouldn;t really recommend it

drolnhoj · 28-11-2005, 17:59

Quote:

Originally posted by Mo
or are you an older dad?

I am an older dad. I am 49 and my two youngest are 5 and 7. I actually feel better equipped, mentally, to be a dad now than when my older chlidren where born. Paul Mc's wife is younger than him so would it be fair for him to tell her he didn't want children, if she did? Personally I think that how you look after the kids is far more important than how old you are.

Lotti · 28-11-2005, 18:13

Well I'm not in a position to judge.

However, I'll never forget Filthfan's birthday party when she was 8 and her friends were round. People started talking about the ages of their dads and my sister's friend, also 8 at the time, said 'my dad's 56!' so my dad said 'well my dad's 54!!!'

All the kids turned and looked in amazement because their parents were either older or the same age as our granddad!

However it would concern me if I had had older parents that they wouldn't see me grow up and also if had kids with an older man would have the same worries for my children.

HappyHoosier · 28-11-2005, 18:24

My dad was 45 when I, the baby of the family, was born; he died at age 63, when I was 18 and had just started college. He missed a lot of later milestones in my life, but my happy childhood more than made up for that.

Many friends with younger parents had more years to spend with their fathers, but my dad had more quality time to spend with me. His career was stable, his other children were grown, he was more relaxed and he'd achieved many of his personal goals by the time I came along.

He and my mother (who was 38 when I was born) said I kept them young. Because of me, they had another 18 years of swingsets, picnics, rollercoasters, circuses, dollhouses, skateboards, science experiments and dance recitals -- and they loved it.

They -- and I -- wouldn't have changed a thing.

metalman · 29-11-2005, 08:28

Interestingly these things often seem to go from generation to generation, a case of 'like father, like son'. Both I and my dad married fairly late in life and became older dads, with the result that there's about 40 years between generations, whereas my wife's family have got through about twice as many in that time.

Consequently, my daughter has known all her great-grandparents on my wife's side, whereas one of the ones on my side was already dead by about 1918!

However I don't really see it as being a bad thing, or indeed anything out of the ordinary. Back in the 19th century when people often had about 15 kids altogether, they went on well into their forties even though their life expectancy was a lot less.

chickmonk · 29-11-2005, 08:41

My dad's 57 and I've got two half-monkeys who are (just turned) 3 and 7.

My dad didn't spend so much time with my sister and I when we were growing up so has had a 'second chance' so to speak. Those kids love their dad and everyone's happy. I think our family is great the way it is.

Chicken Monkey x

Lea1979 · 29-11-2005, 10:03

My dad has kind of had the rough end of it! (and my mum I guess too!)

He was 25 when my brother (the eldest) was born and 43 when my little sister (the youngest) was born.

He's approaching 60 now and is the best dad in the whole wide world. I think age matters not at all if you are loved and cared for.

sophiec1979 · 29-11-2005, 10:24

i think my folks started quite late in comparison to my friends parents and i was born when my mum was 32 and my dad was 34.

most of my mates parents are younger that mine, the only exceptions being those friends who have multiple older siblings.

i dont think its a problem being an older parent- my only concern would be complications during preganancy or birth due to the ages of the parents.

although i think it is a bit wierd having children when youre nearly olf enough to claim your pension- wouldnt you want a break after working all those years?

sophie
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