Another Victor Meldrew moment: Self-Serve checkouts

I might have mentioned this previously...Possibly...

I turn up at Asda at around 5:30pm. It's pretty busy in there, and I choose one of those pull along basket thingies with the long handle. I meander about the aisles putting various bits in there, like a pineapple, some butter, a couple of bottles of wine and a few other things. I suppose about ten items in total. I get to the checkout area, and there are no checkout operators on duty, at all.

Now I really hate the self serve thingies, but hey, I've got no choice. So I join the queue (that's incidentally another pet hate of mine...queuing).

I finally get to one of the self serve checkouts and there's still nobody working a normal checkout! So I thought, here we go...I've been caught before by the "unexpected item in the bagging area" announcement...So I carefully cleared the bagging area as I know it weighs each item and expects a certain weight. Any deviation from the expected weight and it screams at you. No plastic bags hanging on it, no stray till receipts, no empty crisp packets. It's as clean as a whistle. I begin by scanning the wine, as I know an 'adult' has to confirm you're over 21...or is it 25?...Anyway, that's another irk of mine...I'm not sure I could pass for 18 ...So they go into the bagging area. I tell my other half, waiting ready with a bag we'd actually remembered to bring with us NOT too start packing, or the machine will throw a hissy-fit. I've found the secret (rightly or wrongly, I don't know) is to just plonk everything as-is in the bagging area, or the machine gets upset.

All is well so far. An operator (who in my opinion, isn't even 18 ) duly arrives and waves a card and presses a few buttons to confirm I'm of booze buying age and we carry on scanning.

Ok, we get to the pineapple. That's where the problem begins. There's no bar code...So I plonk it on the scanner, which I believe also weighs. Then select the 'fruit and veg' button. I see the picture of the pineapple and press the button....Nope, I get a message saying "Unrecognised item"....So I pick up the pineapple and plonk it back down again...(Muttering profanities under my breath) and again select the 'Fruit and Veg' option...I carefully make sure there is only one option for pineapple and once again carefully select that one...Nope...The pineapple obviously doesn't exist...Not on planet Asda anyway!

So I summon the guardian of the self serve checkout area, who is now coincidentally busy training a young lad how to be a 'proper' checkout operator...He's obviously clueless and bless him, was obviously being thrown in at the deep end...Anyway, I digress...My pineapple is visibly degrading in front of my eyes...Eventually the 'guardian' finally arrives...Waves his credit card shaped 'wand' and flicks the screen a few times, and bingo...the pineapple suddenly exists. That duly gets stowed in the bagging area.

Meanwhile, my other half is chomping at the bit, to pack the 'cleared items' and asks if she can pack them? Being somewhat irritable now, I snap No..You'll have to wait for me to scan everything!!!....I scan the rest without too much issue.

Now the machine is asking me if I'd like to buy some carrier bags, and if so how many...I'm audibly talking to the machine in a raised voice..."No...I don't want any carrier bags...I brought my own"...So now, once again the OH is asking can I pack them up now?...."For God's sake NO...Not yet!

Eventually I get to the pay screen...Insert your card etc...So now I'm going through the motions, and I figure the machine surely knows I've finished the transaction and I'm not going to be scanning anything else, so I say to my irritated OH, she can start packing it into her bag....Which she does...Only to be greeted with the dreaded "Unexpected item in the bagging area" rant.

At this point, I could have cheerfully put my size nine through the screen....Another five minute wait later...I notice the queues for the self serve checkout are about 20 people deep, and the queue for the hapless lad on the till is growing, and they're still trying to figure out, how to take the lock off the till....

Eventually the 'guardian' arrives, waves his wand and all is well again...

And this is modern day 'progress'...And why I'd rather have a human on a checkout serve me...Although...I'm not sure the 'hapless lad' would have been any better that day...

I begin by scanning the wine, as I know an 'adult' has to confirm you're over 21...or is it 25?...

No it's over 18 to buy it in the UK - despite the ludicrous guff they plaster over the tills as the "law"

As for the unexpected item - the first thing I do is collect everything and walk it to the nearest manned till when that happens and if it's the kiosk only that's where I go and stuff the three item limit.....

<grumpyoldman>

Do.not.get.me.started.

Unexpected item in the bagging area.....

Please wait for assistance...

-screams internally-

I might have mentioned this previously...Possibly...

 

I turn up at Asda at around 5:30pm. .

Next time Pete save yourself a lot of grief and let someone more experienced use the checkout..... YOUR OH.

Unexpected item in the bagging area.....

 

Please wait for assistance...

 

-screams internally-

I agree. It's even worse when all staffed tills are unstaffed, leaving the options of self-service or theft.

I stopped using Tesco (Abbeydale) when a no-staffed-tills evening became a regular occurrence.

And this is modern day 'progress'...And why I'd rather have a human on a checkout serve me...Although...I'm not sure the 'hapless lad' would have been any better that day...

You need to confront your fears, and use the self-services check-out every time.

That will help you towards getting a BTEC in supermarket packing.

I might have mentioned this previously...Possibly...

 

I turn up at Asda at around 5:30pm. It's pretty busy in there, and I choose one of those pull along basket thingies with the long handle. I meander about the aisles putting various bits in there, like a pineapple, some butter, a couple of bottles of wine and a few other things. I suppose about ten items in total. I get to the checkout area, and there are no checkout operators on duty, at all.

If it was T'Asboda on T'Cross there's little wonder there were no checkout operators. The etiquette for shopping in that particular boutique is to stick everything down the front of your pyjamas/hoodie onesie and swagger out down the magnetic moving stairless staircase without paying … before of course, roaring off in the stolen Astra.

Asda checkouts are unusually pretty decent, although pineapples do come with a bar-code (which often falls off)

Asda checkouts are unusually pretty decent, although pineapples do come with a bar-code (which often falls off)

Nope...In this case none had got the bar code...I even looked before I got it off the shelf...I kinda knew it would cause a problem.

---------- Post added 02-05-2017 at 19:03 ----------

If it was T'Asboda on T'Cross there's little wonder there were no checkout operators. The etiquette for shopping in that particular boutique is to stick everything down the front of your pyjamas/hoodie onesie and swagger out down the magnetic moving stairless staircase without paying … before of course, roaring off in the stolen Astra.

As ever Alco...You're hilarious...But it wasn't the PX Asda....You must do one of your famous illustrations of the 'said' encounter...

---------- Post added 02-05-2017 at 19:05 ----------

You need to confront your fears, and use the self-services check-out every time.

 

That will help you towards getting a BTEC in supermarket packing.

Noooooo.....I try to avoid self serve...If at all humanly possible....I don't want a diploma!...I just want to get through the trauma of checkout as efficiently and as soon as possible!

---------- Post added 02-05-2017 at 19:06 ----------

I agree. It's even worse when all staffed tills are unstaffed, leaving the options of self-service or theft.

I stopped using Tesco (Abbeydale) when a no-staffed-tills evening became a regular occurrence.

That was the problem on the evening in question....Otherwise I would have used a 'staffed' checkout.

---------- Post added 02-05-2017 at 19:06 ----------

Next time Pete save yourself a lot of grief and let someone more experienced use the checkout..... YOUR OH.

Or send her on her own?

In Morrison's, you often get "surprising" items in the bagging area. I wonder how many customers are actually surprised by what they've just scanned? Unless they're buying an air horn? Maybe a jack-in-a-box?

Dont you just love the self service check outs.I go into the asda at 7.00 am before i get to work and i frequently get aggravated by the machine.Some of the items are too light to register the weight so that always causes a problem.Last time i get paracetamols on the self serve checkout.What got me in Tescos a few months back was why i had to have alcohol free wine signed off to make sure i was old enough to buy it.

---------- Post added 02-05-2017 at 19:19 ----------

In Morrison's, you often get "surprising" items in the bagging area. I wonder how many customers are actually surprised by what they've just scanned? Unless they're buying an air horn? Maybe a jack-in-a-box?

Thats true,it makes you think youre going to find 10 grand in used notes in your basket or a rattlesnake.