Why is telling girls to be careful rape apologistic

Often you read about police and other groups telling girls when they are out to stay in groups watch what they drink and generally be careful because of rapists.

 

Its the same as people telling me to keep my door locked or not leave valuables lying around. Its not saying that I am defending burglars or thieves its saying these scumbags are out there so be careful.

 

Yet whenever we give advice like the above to girls the feminists saying that we are apologising for rapists and we should stop rapists not advise girls to take care.

 

It doesn't make sense. Yes men shouldnt rape but while we are dealing with the scumbags we need to make the innocent are protected.

I agree with you. We teach children 'stranger danger', it doesn't mean we think paedophilia is ok.

 

Obviously there's a line somewhere - imo telling someone to take care of their drinks and not to go home alone down a dark alley is fine but telling someone she's 'asking for it' by wearing a short skirt is not ok.

 

There will always be scumbags out there whatever we do.

OK, guys get mugged and sexually assaulted too, so lets turn this around

 

Lets say you get sexually assaulted and a large and vocal section of the community turn round and tell you it was your own fault because

• You'd been drinking
  
• You were wearing revealing clothes
  
• You shouldn't have been out on your own
  
• You shouldn't have been where you were
  
• You were asking for it
  
• You didn't say no
  
• You didn't struggle enough
  
• You're still alive
  

Or any combination of the above

 

And any attempt to blame the person who committed the offence gets dismissed by these self same people and they go right back to the reasons why it was your fault.

 

Would you say these people were apologists ? would you say that perhaps they should have a go at the person who committed the assault and not you ?

OK, guys get mugged and sexually assaulted too, so lets turn this around

 

Lets say you get sexually assaulted and a large and vocal section of the community turn round and tell you it was your own fault because

• You'd been drinking
  
• You were wearing revealing clothes
  
• You shouldn't have been out on your own
  
• You shouldn't have been where you were
  
• You were asking for it
  
• You didn't say no
  
• You didn't struggle enough
  
• You're still alive
  

Or any combination of the above

 

And any attempt to blame the person who committed the offence gets dismissed by these self same people and they go right back to the reasons why it was your fault.

 

Would you say these people were apologists ? would you say that perhaps they should have a go at the person who committed the assault and not you ?

 

I'm not sure how telling people to be careful puts the blame onto them and takes if off the offender?

Is someone a scumbag because they rape or are they scumbags first?

 

56% of serious sexual crimes such as rape are carried out by a person known to the victim, the choice of clothes could have little effect on their decision to rape.52% of lesser sexual crimes were committed by strangers.

 

To further support some of the polices work, ladies who frequent pubs and night clubs regularly, increase their risk of being victimised.

 

So although they could work on etiquette it does appear that the effects of an evening out do place the ladies at more risk and it doesn't hurt to remind them of such.

I imagine many men and women dress in a manner to attract the opposite sex, isn't that the whole point of going out for some people, it's unfortunate that it can send the wrong message to people with low morals.

Edited April 23, 2015 by willman

OK, guys get mugged and sexually assaulted too, so lets turn this around

 

Lets say you get sexually assaulted and a large and vocal section of the community turn round and tell you it was your own fault because

• You'd been drinking
  
• You were wearing revealing clothes
  
• You shouldn't have been out on your own
  
• You shouldn't have been where you were
  
• You were asking for it
  
• You didn't say no
  
• You didn't struggle enough
  
• You're still alive
  

Or any combination of the above

 

And any attempt to blame the person who committed the offence gets dismissed by these self same people and they go right back to the reasons why it was your fault.

 

Would you say these people were apologists ? would you say that perhaps they should have a go at the person who committed the assault and not you ?

 

Yes I agree that is rape appologists however I'm more refering to this police advice

 

http://rt.com/uk/247901-sussex-police-rape-poster/

 

Where the police are simply telling people to be careful because there are some nasty people about they are in no way blaming women. The same way the police advise me to keep my doors and windows locked and walet and phone safe etc.

I don't see anything wrong in telling your daughters to be careful when they're out. Telling your daughters to dress appropriately and not get drunk is just telling them to have respect for themselves, not just so that they are safe from the hands of deprived men!

 

Girls falling over drunk with mini skirts on is not a good luck..

I'm not sure how telling people to be careful puts the blame onto them and takes if off the offender?

It's putting all the onus on preventing a rape/sexual assault on the victim and not the perpetrator, so if they fail in this it's their fault they failed, they didn't try hard enough.

 

And the perpetrator is cast as some helpless person who just couldn't help themselves, they lost control, they snapped, and it's all the victims fault, the perpetrator is a good person really.

 

If the victim hadn't been there/been drunk/been attractive/been dressed nicely/been on their own/been asleep/been physically smaller and weaker than the perpetrator, then the perpetrator wouldn't have attacked them.

 

This is what we're saying when we tell people to be careful.

 

We're saying there are people who will attack you if they have the opportunity, that's just a fact of life.

 

And it'll never change, because all we're ever going to do about it, is tell you to be careful and blame you when you aren't.

 

We won't do anything about the attackers, because that's difficult, that requires people to have respect for each other, that requires people to grow up, that requires people to think of others instead of themselves.

We tell our daughters to be careful, act properly, and dress correctly when they go out, we tell our sons to have fun when they go out.

 

Maybe it's this distinction that's underpins the debate? Maybe some girls want to have fun like their brothers and not worry about being careful, acting properly and dressing correctly?

Yes I agree that is rape appologists however I'm more refering to this police advice

 

http://rt.com/uk/247901-sussex-police-rape-poster/

 

Where the police are simply telling people to be careful because there are some nasty people about they are in no way blaming women. The same way the police advise me to keep my doors and windows locked and walet and phone safe etc.

 

I think that advice is statistically correct so it's good advice. Yes we'd all like to beat boys around the head until they have respect for the ladies but it won't happen.

We tell our daughters to be careful, act properly, and dress correctly when they go out, we tell our sons to have fun when they go out.

 

Maybe it's this distinction that's underpins the debate? Maybe some girls want to have fun like their brothers and not worry about being careful, acting properly and dressing correctly?

 

I used to tell both of mine ,one of each, to "look after themselves"....

Yes I agree that is rape appologists however I'm more refering to this police advice

 

http://rt.com/uk/247901-sussex-police-rape-poster/

 

Where the police are simply telling people to be careful because there are some nasty people about they are in no way blaming women. The same way the police advise me to keep my doors and windows locked and walet and phone safe etc.

Again it's telling people to be careful, it's saying it's your fault if your friend goes off on their own and is attacked as much as it's their fault for going off.

 

It doesn't tell potential attackers not to attack them.

 

I prefer this poster from Greater Manchester Police http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-30111414