Poster blames rape victims, does it?

I would prefer it if my daughters were sober enough to know that saying yes means they are consenting, and that my son is sober enough to know that women sometimes say yes when they mean no, sometimes change their minds after starting and sometimes say yes when they have had a drink and then regret it afterwords. My advice to women and men is don't get drunk, my advice to men is record all your sexual activity and keep a copy of the recording for the rest of your life.

So basically youre telling the lads to film it. Id love to see how that conversation goes. 'Sweetheart, i want you, i want you now, oh, wait, let me just get my camera'

I bet a swift kick in the knackers would soon follow :hihi:

Im sorry, im not making light of this but its just the image of some young lad trying to get his girl to agree to be filmed :hihi:

So basically youre telling the lads to film it. Id love to see how that conversation goes. 'Sweetheart, i want you, i want you now, oh, wait, let me just get my camera'

I bet a swift kick in the knackers would soon follow :hihi:

Im sorry, im not making light of this but its just the image of some young lad trying to get his girl to agree to be filmed :hihi:

A compromise could for for each to record a message of consent before starting, but that doesn't counter the possibility that one of them might change their mind halfway through.

"1 in 3 rapes happens when the victim has been drinking "

 

Basically it's saying don't drink because individuals have differing tolerances to the effects of alcohol. The poster does acknowledge "victim" though.

 

For me it suggests by taking personal responsibility you've somehow indirectly supported the predator in not going through with the act. If you reduce rape by one criteria it'll only increase in another unless a 1 in 3 rape is only defined by alcohol consumption.

I disagree with the ambiguous way they have used the statistics but simply presenting a statistic certainly doesn't place any blame on anyone for anything.

(I've added to my OP btw, if it interests you)

I don't think its victim blaming but its putting the onus on the victim.

 

For balance is there a poster targetting potential perpetrators? Isn't that really where the problem is?

 

If a woman wants to go out and let her hair down a bit then she should be able to without thinking about getting raped.

I an perfect world then yes. In a perfect world you could also leave your door open without fear of being robbed, leave your car keys in the ignition (not that it would need keys in a perfect world) without fear of it being stolen, etc... unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world so everyone should take reasonable steps to protect themselves from harm. If this means locking your doors and and not getting so drunk you can't even say your own name then so be it.

Taking measures to protect yourself, or advising offers to do the same is in no way victim blaming, on the contrary, it is helping to prevent people becoming victims.

jb

I an perfect world then yes. In a perfect world you could also leave your door open without fear of being robbed, leave your car keys in the ignition (not that it would need keys in a perfect world) without fear of it being stolen, etc... unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world so everyone should take reasonable steps to protect themselves from harm. If this means locking your doors and and not getting so drunk you can't even say your own name then so be it.

 

Taking measures to protect yourself, or advising offers to do the same is in no way victim blaming, on the contrary, it is helping to prevent people becoming victims.

 

jb

Quoted for common sense and non hyperbolic reasoning, time it was introduced into the school curriculum, there is a generation of people around now who have none or very little !

Or don't drink and you're just as liable to get raped by the other 2 out of the 3.

Avoid 1, oops, just got raped by 2, avoid 1 and 2, oops, just git raped by 3.

 

The point is..eradicate reasons 1-2-and 3 and they will be replaced by another 1-2 and 3. Rapists do not stop raping because you've had a bottle one less.

 

 

 

Then don't ask such moronic questions such as:

 

 

 

Why would anyone go on a date with a rapist, let alone my daughters

You logic is flawed. There is no suggestion that the odds for each rape are the same. For example, some rapists are predatory and will only go after easy prey, like very drunk women. If there is no prey available they don't rape anyone. Many other rapes are men raping their wives. There is no suggestion that they will rape someone else other than their wife.

jb

Quoted for common sense and non hyperbolic reasoning, time it was introduced into the school curriculum, there is a generation of people around now who have none or very little !

I agree. Locking your doors is a good analogy. Good post

I an perfect world then yes. In a perfect world you could also leave your door open without fear of being robbed, leave your car keys in the ignition (not that it would need keys in a perfect world) without fear of it being stolen, etc... unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world so everyone should take reasonable steps to protect themselves from harm. If this means locking your doors and and not getting so drunk you can't even say your own name then so be it.

 

Taking measures to protect yourself, or advising offers to do the same is in no way victim blaming, on the contrary, it is helping to prevent people becoming victims.

 

jb

And don't we aspire towards a perfect world?

Anyway, RonJeremy said earlier "OK lets put it this way. If your daughter was going on a date with a rapist would you prefer her to be sober or ****ed?"

This is an often used argument in these situations, as is the "I don't want to deflect any blame but ... ", which does deflect blame.

Nobody is trying to tell family and friends what to say to girls in private before going out on a night out, but this is a government message which needs to be a much more careful approach. The inevitable result of this sort of thinking from society is the burqa, and let me say from my background in Egypt this does not work. As the pressures on women to dress modestly there, be more careful, drink less, the actual rates of sexual assault has increased significantly.

It might seem unreal, but sexual abusers always have some sort of self-delusional excuse for their behaviour. This campaign gives them one. Not only that, but it also introduces guilt into the equation. If this sort of message becomes commonplace, then the girl who recovers from a night of heavy drinking and realises that she has been raped then she will be less likely to report it.

And don't we aspire towards a perfect world?

 

Anyway, RonJeremy said earlier "OK lets put it this way. If your daughter was going on a date with a rapist would you prefer her to be sober or ****ed?"

 

This is an often used argument in these situations, as is the "I don't want to deflect any blame but ... ", which does deflect blame.

 

Nobody is trying to tell family and friends what to say to girls in private before going out on a night out, but this is a government message which needs to be a much more careful approach. The inevitable result of this sort of thinking from society is the burqa, and let me say from my background in Egypt this does not work. As the pressures on women to dress modestly there, be more careful, drink less, the actual rates of sexual assault has increased significantly.

 

It might seem unreal, but sexual abusers always have some sort of self-delusional excuse for their behaviour. This campaign gives them one. Not only that, but it also introduces guilt into the equation. If this sort of message becomes commonplace, then the girl who recovers from a night of heavy drinking and realises that she has been raped then she will be less likely to report it.

Shouldn't that be realises she has had sex, she won't know if she was raped until the jury decide if consent was given or not.

Shouldn't that be realises she has had sex, she won't know if she was raped

Let's assume that rape victims know they've been raped.

Why do we never get these daft arguments about other crimes? Nobody ever gets burgled and then someone comes along to say "he realised he'd given his property away, he won't know he's been burgled until the jury decides he didn't let them in the house and pack their van for em".

It seems like sage advice to me, akin to " don't look down the barrel of your gun whilst loading it".

It's not as if they are blaming the victims because they were dressed inappropriately.

It seems like sage advice to me, akin to " don't look down the barrel of your gun whilst loading it".

It's not as if they are blaming the victims because they were dressed inappropriately.

No ... they're blaming victims because they were drinking inappropriately.