Holiday Dilemma

You say it like people don't kill themselves for what appears to be trivial reasons.

Apologies, that is not my intention.. I'm just trying to make light of the situation.

And if the OP takes him anyway, how is he any better than that?

Compromise should be the name of the game here. But compromise strongly suggests progress from both extremes towards a location of common convenience somewhere in-between. Rather than unilateral motion of one party relative to the other immovable one.

/thread, tbh

/thread subscription anyway, this is just going round in circles/boring now.

Best of luck OP, hopefully plenty food for thought in here by now.

TTFN

I can't understand what the big rush is. The father is saying he's wanting to go this Easter but surely it's not the right time at present. Family problems need sorting out first. There are still a number of years in the future for the son to enjoy Disney or not as the case may be. In my opinion, a family holiday in the UK would be better all round ..... it is only a holiday, not worth falling out over. Yes Disney USA is a wonderful experience but when all said and done, the son has got the rest of his life in which to go there. We can't all have what we want exactly when we want it.Sometimes we can't have it at all....... That's life !!

I can't understand what the big rush is. The father is saying he's wanting to go this Easter but surely it's not the right time at present. Family problems need sorting out first. There are still a number of years in the future for the son to enjoy Disney or not as the case may be. In my opinion, a family holiday in the UK would be better all round ..... it is only a holiday, not worth falling out over. Yes Disney USA is a wonderful experience but when all said and done, the son has got the rest of his life in which to go there. We can't all have what we want exactly when we want it.Sometimes we can't have it at all....... That's life !!

Its Easter 2017 I was planning to go.

How are you going to say 'yes'? When are you going to say 'yes'? Isn't it time you said 'yes'?

Nope, it's not. After the constant bombardment of ads, where parents are supposed to feel utterly inadequate or selfish if they don't take their kids to the magical kingdom, and kids are supposed to pester their parents until they remortgage the house....just no.

Actually, there's a part of me that would like to take them, but I can't help thinking it's such a rip-off, and as a parent I find the ads nothing short of emotional blackmail.

Maybe telling your wife there is another couple you could go with, was actually the bit that tipped her over the edge? You see for a lot of people, flying phobias and other phobias are linked with a fear about not being in control. So, suggesting you'll do this with someone else, would probably be like a red rag to a bull.

Anyway, if you and your son really do want to go, then perhaps you should be explaining to your wife all the ways why it just won't be the same if she is not there to make these memories with you and your son, and you want HER to enjoy the experience too. Suggest she gets some help to help her overcome her fear of flying - therapies are not just for those frightened of plane crashes, but those who are frightened for all sorts of reasons, and suggest that you go on a shorter flight to somewhere of her choice as a 'warm-up' before the long-haul!

How are you going to say 'yes'? When are you going to say 'yes'? Isn't it time you said 'yes'?

 

Nope, it's not. After the constant bombardment of ads, where parents are supposed to feel utterly inadequate or selfish if they don't take their kids to the magical kingdom, and kids are supposed to pester their parents until they remortgage the house....just no.

 

Actually, there's a part of me that would like to take them, but I can't help thinking it's such a rip-off, and as a parent I find the ads nothing short of emotional blackmail.

 

Maybe telling your wife there is another couple you could go with, was actually the bit that tipped her over the edge? You see for a lot of people, flying phobias and other phobias are linked with a fear about not being in control. So, suggesting you'll do this with someone else, would probably be like a red rag to a bull.

 

Anyway, if you and your son really do want to go, then perhaps you should be explaining to your wife all the ways why it just won't be the same if she is not there to make these memories with you and your son, and you want HER to enjoy the experience too. Suggest she gets some help to help her overcome her fear of flying - therapies are not just for those frightened of plane crashes, but those who are frightened for all sorts of reasons, and suggest that you go on a shorter flight to somewhere of her choice as a 'warm-up' before the long-haul!

I've been to Orlando before and its a great resort with many, many things to do and whilst it is expensive the parks are so well done that it doesn't feel like a waste of money. The "other couple" are long standing family friends who are going regardless and I was tagging on with them in the circumstances.

I've explained/suggested everything in your last sentence to no avail, of course I would love the three of us to be going but if one flatly refuses despite offers of assistance I dont see why the majority should miss out.

Im really sorry if this has already been asked/answered, but what does your son think about it all? Surely thats what matters?

Im really sorry if this has already been asked/answered, but what does your son think about it all? Surely thats what matters?

He's done nothing but talk about it for the last few years but now doesn't want to go without his mothers blessing (a little bit of emotional blackmail has added to this).

Would putting it back a year help? Your son would still only be 14, and it would give your OH either a whole 2 years to seek help and hopefully go with you, or come to terms with the fact youre going without her.

Its a difficult situation. If she has developed a genuine phobia then its not selfishness, and if youre both willing to compromise its possibly something she could work through, but if shes not willing to even try then thats not really fair on you or your son.

As other people have said its not the end of the world if your son doesnt get to go, after taking mine to Disneyland Paris we often spoke about Florida but due to circumstances it hasnt happened and theyre fine about it. They know they can do it as adults if they choose to.

It is one of the places I wouldve taken them like a shot if Id be in a position to do so though. I would have loved to have shared the experience with them.

Would putting it back a year help? Your son would still only be 14, and it would give your OH either a whole 2 years to seek help and hopefully go with you, or come to terms with the fact youre going without her.

Its a difficult situation. If she has developed a genuine phobia then its not selfishness, and if youre both willing to compromise its possibly something she could work through, but if shes not willing to even try then thats not really fair on you or your son.

 

As other people have said its not the end of the world if your son doesnt get to go, after taking mine to Disneyland Paris we often spoke about Florida but due to circumstances it hasnt happened and theyre fine about it. They know they can do it as adults if they choose to.

It is one of the places I wouldve taken them like a shot if Id be in a position to do so though. I would have loved to have shared the experience with them.

Thats exactly my reason for wanting to go, I first went in '96 and always vowed that one day I would love to take my child there (I didn't even have plans to have a child at that stage ), I would be prepared to wait another year but I would have to see some signs that efforts were being made to solve the issue as when I mentioned this 18months ago and offered assisstance it was totally rejected.

Has your wife explained why she doesn't want you to go without her? (Since you now seem to be able to talk to her about it).

Has your wife explained why she doesn't want you to go without her? (Since you now seem to be able to talk to her about it).

An educated guess based on evidence would be one part guilt, one part being without her son for 2wks and the thought of what others will think/say.