DIY Medical Procedures - Have You?

As the title says, have you ever patched yourself up, performed minor surgery, or done any other medical procedure which should have been done by a professional? If so, what did you do?

It happened to me; I accidentally lopped off the top of a finger while slicing bacon, but couldn't call for an ambulance as it was the finger I use to dial out and would have hurt too much.

I managed to anaesthetise it with a large dollop of bovril and, with the aid of the wife's sewing kit, grafted the tip of the finger back on. It's not entirely successful in that it sometimes slips off when someone shakes my hand too vehemently but otherwise it's fine....

Erm...My mum gave birth to me so i perfomed my medical procedure by coming into the world. Other words i havnt done anything lol

It happened to me; I accidentally lopped off the top of a finger while slicing bacon, but couldn't call for an ambulance as it was the finger I use to dial out and would have hurt too much.

 

I managed to anaesthetise it with a large dollop of bovril and, with the aid of the wife's sewing kit, grafted the tip of the finger back on. It's not entirely successful in that it sometimes slips off when someone shakes my hand too vehemently but otherwise it's fine....

Beef Fingered Basil

I can't forget that story about that clown who removed loads of his own teeth because he claimed he couldn't get an NHS dentist. Where did he live? Not on Barra or somewhere. No, he lived in Lancashire, which also happens to include and be surrounded by umpteen cities with hundreds of dentists. Clown.

I once cut something out of my own foot, numbed with some ice and sliced with an army knife. Was proud of my butchery and my foot didnt get infected and drop off

My sister, about 10 years ago, decided to pierce her own bellybutton??? She said the needle got about half way through and the pain was immense, then she woke up on the kitchen floor. LOL. She then went on to complete the job and hasn't had any trouble with it at all. She is one crazy MF

My sister, about 10 years ago, decided to pierce her own bellybutton??? She said the needle got about half way through and the pain was immense, then she woke up on the kitchen floor. LOL. She then went on to complete the job and hasn't had any trouble with it at all. She is one crazy MF

On a similar note, while bored at work one afternoon, I once pierced my nipples with a hole puncher.

On a similar note, while bored at work one afternoon, I once pierced my nipples with a hole puncher.

Strangely enough, I did the same and then proceded to do my ears too

I've never done my own, but there was a programme about Eunuchs on the other night and one of those was thinking about performing his own "removal". Oooh!

My Dad was involved in some sort of fracas at an RAF rugby night many years, ending up with a large gash in his head that should properly have been treated at A and E.

According to my mum, he staggered home in the morning and told her, 'Everything's fine love - so and so sewed it up for me on the spot.'

Turned out so and so was a dentist and I dread to think what kind of needle and thread they were using

I've dislocated my knee 4 times playing sport. The first time freaked me out and hurt like buggery, but not as much as when it was put back. Subsequently after that i put it back myself by straightening my leg, based on the theory it had to go back anyway, so sooner rather than later.

I've never done my own, but there was a programme about Eunuchs on the other night and one of those was thinking about performing his own "removal". Oooh!

If that's true, credit to him for having the balls to do it.