Can having children make you a better person?

I was going to start it with "Do" instead of "Can" if that makes a difference. I'm not saying it in a Andrea Leadsom, mother knows best sort of way. My sister had similar smarts to me as kids, maybe a tad more, but has excelled me in every measure you want to use since we both left school. The key difference since adulthood is kids and/or a stable relationship.

Would I have achieved more had I sired a child? I don't have to worry about anyone else as such, would that extra responsibility have given me the extra push?

I was going to start it with "Do" instead of "Can" if that makes a difference. I'm not saying it in a Andrea Leadsom, mother knows best sort of way. My sister had similar smarts to me as kids, maybe a tad more, but has excelled me in every measure you want to use since we both left school. The key difference since adulthood is kids and/or a stable relationship.

 

Would I have achieved more had I sired a child? I don't have to worry about anyone else as such, would that extra responsibility have given me the extra push?

I would say that was more important.

Probably "can" yes, but doesn't necessarily.

A single anecdote is nothing to draw a conclusion from though, who knows why your sister has excelled and you haven't. Perhaps she even thinks the opposite secretly...

I think it can have the opposite effect. It all depends on who you are before you have kids.

For some it only enforces their belief in self importance.

Before i had my daughter i was a much more relaxed person, had a lot of spare time and helped out a lot with family and friends.

My life now focuses on my daughter and i find myself going months without seeing some family members.. My daughter probably thinks i'm aswesome!!!! but some family members may think i'm selfish.. I just don't have the time these days to drop everything like i used to and i'm no way near as chilled as i used to be either..

Would I have achieved more had I sired a child? I don't have to worry about anyone else as such, would that extra responsibility have given me the extra push?

Yes ...............

NO!

My nephew has just had his first child. Without asking he added me to a WhatsApp Group. Now my phone goes off constantly with updates and comments on the new sprog. And I still need to give it a week or so before I leave the group so I don't look like a miserable old sod. But seriously, it's a baby. I don't care about it's first poo!

This is one reason I don't do Facebook so this is highly irresponsible of him if you ask me!

So because of your nephew you're saying that having a child CAN'T make ANYONE a better person???

Perhaps when the child is older, it could show you how to mute a group in whatsapp so that you don't get alerts about groups you're not bothered about, but don't look rude by leaving.

So because of your nephew you're saying that having a child CAN'T make ANYONE a better person???

 

Perhaps when the child is older, it could show you how to mute a group in whatsapp so that you don't get alerts about groups you're not bothered about, but don't look rude by leaving.

Done that. They still come up although the notifications have stopped. Fortuntaely two other people have left the group already due to the 100 plus posts that have already come thru this morning. Another few and I can back out graciously!

And of course I wasn't being serious - just having a rant. In my experience, anyone who has had kids immediately puts them at the centre of the universe, which is not a problem. As long as they don't expect me to do so as well.

I think it can have the opposite effect. It all depends on who you are before you have kids.

 

For some it only enforces their belief in self importance.

That about sums it up for me too. I don't think you alter character much one way or the other, certainly not,i would say, a few years down the parenthood road anyway.

Yes, having children can make someone a better person. A stable relationship is also a significant factor in becoming a better person. I believe there is a lot of truth in the statement "Behind every successful man there is a woman"

I'm pretty sure it can also make you a worse person.

Like most things in life, it's not simple.