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Advice on adopting a v v nervous cat

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Hi, I'm trying to decide whether to adopt a kitten (6 months) who is very, very nervous, born outside, the staff of the shelter have been working with him to try and socialise but he's still very nervous. I will have plenty of time to try and help him, and we have an existing 6 year old cat who can hopefully show him that humans can be trusted. Will I be taking on too much? I'm sort of fallen in love with him, that's the problem, even though I know he's going to be hard work and need a lot of patience and time. Do I need to accept he's always going to be nervous and distant, or can these sorts of cats ever learn that they're safe in a home with humans?

Thanks

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Things I'd think about. Does your 6 year old cat like other cats? A friendly cat might really take to the kitten and bring him on lots, but if he doesn't like little ones you could end up with a very scared little one and an angry older one.

 

Is the little one so scared that you're not able to move him from one room to another? Scenario I'm imagining is that you want cat flap unlocked or door open so your adult cat can go out but you don't want the kit getting out. Can you get kit into another room so he doesn't have access to outside?

 

Is he so scared that he won't use a carefully placed (secluded and quiet) litter tray?

 

I think they can learn, and he is only 6 months ... though the older they are when they come into rescue the longer it takes. I have a cat who is 8 now, she didn't come into rescue until she was an older kitten and has never really trusted humans. She's been with me about 3 years but I've only recently managed to stroke her. She lives happily with me and the other cats now but is still very scared if I approach her. I love her to bits and am happy to let her do her own thing. I do worry about illness and treatment with her. Its not even possible to put frontline on her without a huge drama so if she needs regular medication at some point in the future it most likely isn't going to happen.

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Thanks for your reply Midgecat, it's good to hear from someone who has a nervous cat - can I wait 3 years for a stroke? I hope so! The kitten is litter tray trained, although apparently needs one with a hood on because he throws it all over the place. Apparently he's easy to get into a carrier with a bit of tuna (and he likes hiding in boxes anyway). I'm concerned too about him getting out while the other one is leaving through the flap - it's a fancypants flap that is specific to their microchip so the new one won't be able to operate it until we're absolutely sure, but he could scamper through I suppose while the other one goes out.

 

I think that, like you, I'd be happy for him to do his own thing as long as I know that's what I'm expecting, and maybe we'll be lucky and he'll come round a bit.

 

My existing cat seems fine with other cats in the neighbourhood, although she's always been an only cat with us. The rescue say that the little one is OK with cats, it's just humans that he's scared of. I think he's been in the rescue since very young but had to have medical treatment early on so didn't get a favourable impression of humans then either.

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I think I'd give him a go on that basis :)

 

Can you wait 3 years for a stroke? I guess they bring a different kind of pleasure. The first time i saw/heard Amber podding in her bed and purring away was an utter delight in a special way that it isn't with more confident cats. One day last week she was sitting the arm chair opposite mine, we slow blinked at each other and then she rolled over in front of me. Very special when they're nervous.

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That sounds wonderful Midgecat - and well done for helping your nervous one to become to happy with you! We're going to meet him again today, fingers crossed!

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I took on 2 rescue cats, wasn't given the full story on one of them. They said she was nervous but she turned out to be absolutely terrified of people. She hid in an under stairs cupboard in the kitchen for 3 weeks before i even saw her . It took a lot of time and patience to get her to trust me but we got there eventually. She's still nervous with other people but is very affectionate with me. Having the other cat ,who had her own problems but is more confident with people, has helped her come out of her shell. It's definately rewarding having a cat with problems and I'd do it again x

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I would have no qualms about adopting a nervy cat, it takes patience but the rewards are worth it. We've had ex street cats and the most terrified cats in our care over the years (one we adopted from the RSPCA spent almost 2 years hiding from us but then all of a sudden turned into the most loving, confident girl, goodness knows what she'd had to endure!) and we've learned to take them as they come and to let them gradually come out of their shells. It does help that ours are housecats now (when we got our first pedigrees 11-12 years ago, we had to agree to them being housecats), as any newbie adapts to being indoors and the urge to flee and to never come back is much lessened. Good luck and I hope you decide to adopt and to give this lovely cat a second chance.

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Thanks everyone - so reassuring to hear happy endings for nervous cats! I've taken the plunge and Charlie is arriving tomorrow - have got a room where he can hide in comfort for as long as he needs to, and will introduce my existing cat slowly. Wish us all luck! I'll let you know how we get on - I'll probably be asking for more advice! :)

Melly

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Two of mine were born feral and are work in progress for getting comfortable around humans. Baby, who is now 10 and who was found at about 4 weeks of age and whom I hand reared, reacts 90% of the time just as a nervous cat. She loves fuss really and if you're relatively quiet and have been in my house a couple of times before she will happily approach you to check you out and then consent to a head scratch and a rub under her chin.

 

Al, on the other hand, wasn't trapped until he was 8-10 weeks old and he was only trapped at all because a relative saw his mother get run over by a digger on a building site so she knew that he would die if he wasn't caught. He's very good at being a shadow cat and if you approach him you'll blink and he simply won't be there any more. He's a sweet boy, he loves the other cats and has the most lovely open body language bunting and fussing around them, but he's just not happy being approached by humans.

 

He's been here for 3 years now but I'm still the only human that he has allowed to touch him voluntarily and there are only certain times during the day when he will allow me to approach enough for a scritch. However, he's clearly a happy cat and we've worked a way around him coming and going into the garden for a play during the days when he wants to be out (he really does like being outdoors in good weather) and he's happy to be inside when it's cold, wet, dark or windy (we joke that he's a fair weather feral!) and he can be seen around the house anywhere that my more confident cats are going, including lying in bed with the dog as long as no humans make fast movements that make him react.

 

Although he's not the sort of cat that happily comes up for a fuss, he's a joy to be around when he's playing with a leaf in the garden or purring his head off grooming one of the other cats and he's no trouble at all. If he doesn't develop into accepting more fuss then I'm fine with that (as long as I can get a spot on flea, ear mite and worm treatment on him) but I can tell you categorically that the hard won fuss won through months of careful and gentle persistence means so much more than an everyday fuss from a confident cat, both to the human and the scaredy kitten :)

 

Good on you for adopting a shy baby Melly, and welcome to the world of the hopeful and patient :)

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Good luck Melly & Charlie! Charlie is already a very lucky kit to have someone like you to take the time and patience with him.

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Wow, nervous cats really can hide can't they?? Poor little Charlie, he didn't move from his carrier the first evening, but that night he ate some food, went to the loo on an old towel (ignoring the expensive hooded litter tray like the one he used in the shelter, naturally!) And seemed to have explored his room. Yesterday he stayed in the little den I'd made him, I popped in a few times to check on him and burble away quietly to help him get used to my voice and smell. He didn't eat all day but again ate up his biscuits overnight and used his towel again. Shall I just carry on popping in to his room, chatting quietly, but mostly leave him on his own?

 

My other cat has shown no sign of even realising there's another animal in the house!

 

This really is going to take a long time isn't it??

 

I'm not making eye contact with him much, is that right?

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aww bless him,all new to you both yes nervous cats can find great hiding places.

 

little and often is the way forward,yes keep popping in and build on it spending a little more time in there to a point where you are chatting to him,

 

 

i always chat to all the cats i visit good luck xx

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