Justin Smith   10 #1 Posted December 1, 2015 Do you agree with this or not ? If not why not ?  In a relationship, the biggest cause of arguments are breakdowns in communication. And the most significant factor in that, and prolonging any arguments, is that, generally speaking, women tend to focus on feelings over facts, whereas men tend to focus on facts over feelings.  Obviously these are generalisations (and I`m not saying either emphasis is right or wrong) but probably true for most relationships ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
sgtkate   10 #2 Posted December 1, 2015 So how do you explain arguments between gay couples? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
cassity   10 #3 Posted December 1, 2015 So how do you explain arguments between gay couples?  DA: Estrogen and testosterone levels? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
sgtkate   10 #4 Posted December 1, 2015 DA: Estrogen and testosterone levels?  Possibly. I think it's because my other half is just inflexible to be honest. :hihi: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Justin Smith   10 #5 Posted December 1, 2015 So how do you explain arguments between gay couples?  I`m not gay so I wouldn`t know. Perhaps gay couples on average argue less ? ! ? I would have thought that was possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
sgtkate   10 #6 Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) I`m not gay so I wouldn`t know. Perhaps gay couples on average argue less ? ! ? I would have thought that was possible.  I'm sure I saw somewhere that over the last 10 years (short study I know but being openly gay and in a legally binding relationship hasn't been around for very long!) the divorce/break u rates of gay couples was considerably lower than straight couples, but a 10 year study is probably not long enough really. Link off the Huff Post, but the institute that did the study was carried out by a 'gay legal thinktank' whatever that is, so might be skewed.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frederick-hertz/divorce-marriage-rates-fo_b_1085024.html Edited December 1, 2015 by sgtkate Adding link Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
cassity   10 #7 Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) I`m not gay so I wouldn`t know.  Then the argument could be you're not a woman so you wouldn't know what a woman thinks and vice versa...which begs your question..does fact over feeling trump feeling over fact? Also, what is "fact" in terms of a good relationship developing and sustained?  Personally I'm of the opinion relationships don't last because the relationship wasn't invested in initially by giving off false persona. Edited December 1, 2015 by cassity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Cyclone   10 #8 Posted December 1, 2015 I`m not gay so I wouldn`t know. Perhaps gay couples on average argue less ? ! ? I would have thought that was possible.  Or perhaps people just have different opinions about things and argue now and again.  ---------- Post added 01-12-2015 at 15:00 ----------   Personally I'm of the opinion relationships don't last because the relationship wasn't invested in initially by giving off false persona.  A single reason for the failure of all relationships seems pretty unlikely doesn't it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Justin Smith   10 #9 Posted December 1, 2015 Then the argument could be you're not a woman so you wouldn't know what a woman thinks and vice versa...which begs your question..does fact over feeling trump feeling over fact? Also, what is "fact" in terms of a good relationship developing and sustained?  Personally I'm of the opinion relationships don't last because the relationship wasn't invested in initially by giving off false persona.  I`m a bloke so would tend to go for facts over feelings, but that doesn`t necessarily make it right, certainly not in all situations. I can only talk from my own experience and that of my male friends to whom I talk about relationships. But time after time the man is focussed on the facts of a situation and relegates the feelings that the situation engenders to secondary importance, whereas for the woman it`s often the opposite. Fertile ground for fallouts..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
cassity   10 #10 Posted December 1, 2015  A single reason for the failure of all relationships seems pretty unlikely doesn't it?  Yes, but as a single example without turning the post into War n Peace it allows others to put forward their views or reasons.  ---------- Post added 01-12-2015 at 15:13 ----------  I`m a bloke so would tend to go for facts over feelings, but that doesn`t necessarily make it right, certainly not in all situations. I can only talk from my own experience and that of my male friends to whom I talk about relationships. But time after time the man is focussed on the facts of a situation and relegates the feelings that the situation engenders to secondary importance, whereas for the woman it`s often the opposite. Fertile ground for fallouts.....  When communication is mutual 'facts and feelings' can morph, they don't necessarily have to be detached. Good communication takes both aspects into consideration. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Cyclone   10 #11 Posted December 1, 2015 I`m a bloke so would tend to go for facts over feelings, but that doesn`t necessarily make it right, certainly not in all situations. I can only talk from my own experience and that of my male friends to whom I talk about relationships. But time after time the man is focussed on the facts of a situation and relegates the feelings that the situation engenders to secondary importance, whereas for the woman it`s often the opposite. Fertile ground for fallouts.....  Of course there are facts about feelings as well... It's a fact that someone feels angry about 'x' for example. Doesn't matter what 'x' is really. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
bethanywalke   10 #12 Posted December 1, 2015 I totally agree with that statement, most arguments in my relationship are when we're feeling angry and we don't talk through our problems so they just get locked up until we end up having a big blow out. Especially as my fella hates confrontation and so avoids all talks about feelings full stop. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...