arachnophobe

I remember Kblade best from another local forum we both posted on. She was always the voice of sanity but with a great sense of humour. She helped my OH deal with some health problems from which she had also suffered and shared her own experiences which helped him very much. She had overcome many obstacles in life and was always there to listen and give advice, particularly in the early hours of the morning to fellow insomniacs. From her posts it was obvious she thought the world of her partner and daughter. So sad to hear of her passing, a terrible loss. RIP Kblade.

Too true. I was let down by the NHS for many years, by GPs and specialists, and have become cynical about people in general, and their motives. My days of blindly trusting anyone, especially so-caled professionals, are long gone.

You really have to bite the bullet and tell her ASAP. There's a good chance she'll be angry or upset at first but once she calms down you'll find a way to sort things out. I'd hate to think that my partner was worrying himself sick over something like this when we could be dealing with it together. As others have suggested, there are places such as CAB where you can get practical advice on financial problems and solutions- lower bill/ mortgage payments, payment holidays etc. Whatever the situation, there are always ways of dealing with it, but it's better to act now than later. There is always a way through every crisis. I hope things go as well as possible, chances are she'll understand. Remember, everybody screws up sometimes, I certainly have, it's how you deal with it that matters. Aww... Hope she reacts like this.

Great post. There is a strange attitude to illness or disability in this country, especially if you have something that is poorly understood. It is seen as some sort of moral weakness and looked down upon, particularly if you don't look obviously visibly ill or disabled. But of course, friends, neighbours, the general public only see you when you're well enough for visitors, or if you're lucky, to leave the house. It's easy for them to pretend everything's fine, they can walk away from it when things are tough, the sufferer can't. Totally agree. I'm sick of long-term illness being viewed as some sort of lifestyle choice. It's a bloody horrible life. It robs you of everything "normal" people have and take for granted- a functional, pain-free body, the chance to work or study, hobbies, sports, socialising, financial security, and if you're really unlucky, you can end up losing friends and family too. Why would anyone choose that? When I was at my worst, I would have done anything (and I mean anything) to get better, and to be able to do even fraction of what I could when I was well. If you are seriously ill or disabled you have enough to deal with just in your day-to-day life without being worried sick about whether you'll be able to pay the bills and keep a roof over your head. But it's far easier for the general public to judge than it is to try to understand.

Thanks for this.

Did you get the white fillings in the end? If so was there a charge for them? I have an appointment there next week.

I was at school 15 or so years ago, and for the most part all the girls got along well- it was only the in-crowd who got a bit bitchy. They were also the only ones overly concerned with fashion, appearance etc. It was also quite a high-achieving school so maybe there is something in what Ruby says as well... However a friend of mine who has a much younger sister was shocked to discover that she (at the age of 9) was fretting about being fat (she is not even slightly overweight). Perhaps the pressure to conform to the "perfect" appearance is starting younger these days?

I agree with this. Best to speak to someone who is better placed to advise.

Has anyone had Yuko hair straightening in Sheffield? I am trying to find somewhere local that does it, and would be interested hear people's experiences, plus get an idea of cost.

I sometimes wonder if people over 18 are any brighter than the ones under 18.

I used to work for a company that, instead of normal evaluations, gave "smiley face reports". They would grade you on various matters such as appearance, timekeeping etc by rewarding(!) you with a happy face, indifferent face, or sad face. I felt like I'd regressed to reception class. And I didn't find it motivational when I was four so I'm not going to now. But the fish wins for utter randomness.

Look straight at him, smile and ask how his mum is getting on these days. I came across the idea in a book once when looking for alternatives to violence, and it has worked for me on a couple of occasions when hassled by irritating prats. They just stop and slink away, worried that you really do know their mum. Wannabe hardmen are usually scared of their mums.

Funny you should bring this up, as I was thinking the same thing a while back. I've not been well recently, but would love to try something like that when I'm better. I'll be watching this thread with interest... Let's start Sheff Forum senior gymnastics team!

I'd definitely have a good chat with your tutor, and see if you can take some time off without jeopardising the degree- maybe consider a year or more out? After all, your body is trying to fight an illness, and if you give it extra work on top of that it won't be able to do either effectively. Please try not to feel bad about it, I've just had 15 months off work (am still off now), plus had to postpone so, so many great plans! But I couldn't have carried on without making myself even worse, I was barely hanging on by my fingernails as it was. Your health is the most important thing, everything else can wait. What good is a degree if you're too exhausted and brain-foggy to make use of it? ETA: This is a good ME/ CFS site- it explains everything succinctly. http://mehelpinfo.users.btopenworld.com/page3.html

I think being diagnosed with any potentially serious illness means completely re-evaluating what you can reasonably expect yourself to do, at least for the time being. It's easy to kid yourself you're alright because you don't necessarily look ill. It took me a while to really accept that I actually was ill and mustn't keep pushing myself (that goes for physical and mental activities). Easier said than done though when that is what you've been doing for years. I would definitely recommend the Foggy Friends website I gave a link for- there is loads of support and advice on there, it's been invaluable. Unfortunately there is very little in terms of treatment or support available on the NHS. ETA: Just seen the note about fighting through the pain with exercise- everything I've read from ME/ CFS specialists warns against it- in my own experience, it made me much, much worse. Even Graded Exercise Therapy (GET), which involves gradually adding small amounts of exercise, has had mixed results, presumably because the underlying causes aren't being treated.