Rhondab1968

my pleasure!!! Have a great day!!! Go join the gym today Rhonda

dear rubydazzler, i have no idea what you are trying to say. palgirl, if you want to email me on here, go ahead. feel free to talk to me whenever. have a wonderful weekend! and yes, the gym is a wonderful outlet. As is a new hairstyle!! you go girl!!!!

Dear Waldo, My comment regarding 'i had 7 days to get him out', i was referring to the week(s) my children went to their dad's house. I had 7 days to do what i needed to do. Yes, i changed the locks, but he just kicked in my door. I was frightened. In hindsight, yes, of course i should have called the police!!! But as woman in an abusive (mentally and/or physical) relationship often does not think rationally. Again, im speaking on behalf my own experiences. Remember, i 'loved' him although i knew he was a liar, cheater, con, manipulator. But a sociopath says all the right things in order to continue the 'game'. They are masters and i was scared. I live in an affluent neighbourhood. I mentioned i was 'ashamed and embarrased'. This i was. I pretended all was fine. My friends knew something was up, but seeing that i did not open up and tell them the truth, they assumed 'all was fine'. The day the sociopath beat me up, i couldn't hide it anymore. The bruises were there for all to see. No makeup could cover them all up!!!! As for jumping into a relationship, i agree whole heartdily. That's the worse thing to do. Palgirl, i've read a few of your threads and i congradulate you for seeking help through which ever forums suit you. As for working on yourself, may i ask what measures you are seeking? My advice is to begin being VERY honest w/yourself as well as to others. Friends and family are the best medicine. I saw my therapist twice a week once the sociopath finally moved out of my house. Any good therapist would also give you a number to call in case it's after hours and you're having a crisis! Mine gave me his cell #. No kidding, i'd text him in the middle of the nite sometimes when i was having a panic attack!! Palgirl, look in the mirror and say, out loud, I AM NOT A VICTIM. I WIL NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE A VICTIM AGAIN. I AM STRONG. I AM NOT NOT NOT WORTHLESS. NO ONE WILL EVER MAKE ME FEEL WORTHLESS AGAIN. And, ALWAYS ALWAYS, listen to your gut. It will never stir you wrong. Ok ladies, im off to have a mani/pedi because the MAN im currently dating is taking me to a broadway show and dinner tonite. Talk soon, xoxox Rhonda.

Dear Waldo, I read you question a couple of days ago. Took the time to really think about what you asked. I can only speak for myself and I answer as follows: I believe as 'women', we want it all. The best clothes, great car, perfect job, loving spouse/boyfriend, smart children, etc... I can honestly say, after thinking about it, i never dated a sociopath before this one. I even had a discussion about this topic w/my friends. I looked back and thought about my past relationships. They all were with men who held the same job for years, independently wealthy, caring, loving, intelligent, etc. Those relationships ended because it just 'ran its course'. It was over and we both moved on. And, most if not all past relationships, those men are still in my lives. My exhusband and i are best friends! His girlfriend and he often come for dinner at my place. All normal, no animosity. And its healthy for my children. So, i asked myself, do i attract sociopathic men? No. I think a sociopath seeks out a vulnerable woman. At the time we met, my marriage had just ended. Was i vulnerable? Perhaps. However, i did not deserve what lied ahead. No woman does (or man). Because i am an honest, giving, loving individual, i believed that no one was capable of such deceit, manipulating ways, conning attributes. After 'coming down to earth' months into our relationship, it did become apparent that he was not what he said he was. and that's when the bloody 'drama' w/a sociopath begins. When the abuser realizes that this relationship is 'not kosher' and stands up for her/his rights, the sociopath becomes conning, manipulative, destructive, dishonest and/or abusive. Again for me, my survival instincts jumped in. I have 2 small children living w/me week to week (my ex and I share 50/50 custody). When they were living w/me, i had to survive. Keep my mouth shut and go on as if everything was normal. The day they went to their father for the week, my wall went down and i knew i had 7 days to try to get the basterd out of my house!!!!!!! This took months, a beating, lying, financial stress, cheating, manipulations, the list goes on..... But today, August 22, 2009, i am happy, healthy, proud to have fought for MY rights and my children, i am no victim. I have educated myself on sociopathic behaviours. This will NOT happen to me again. I just recently met a man....a MAN. so far, no red flags. im not jumping into anything. enjoying dating and spending time w/friends and family. i just travelled and returned a new, refreshed person. Life is GREAT. Im happy again. laughing, smiling, taking the time to 'smell the roses'. As for the sociopath, i heard he's out on the streets. But found his next victim. My heart bleeds for that woman. Rhonda 1968

hi palgirl and others, My name is Rhonda. Im 41, divorced w/2 children (ages 9&6). My exhusband and I are good friends and all is fine in that area of my life!! I was googling sociopathic behaviour online and came across this site. I started reading your posts about dating a sociopath and i had to join this site and start chatting w/you ladies!!! For the past 2 years i have been dating a sociopath. The first time we met, i thought he was the most beautiful man i've ever seen! He took my breath away! That evening he made me feel like i was the only woman in the restaurant (i was out w/5 girlfriends, all beautiful etc.). He charmed the pants off of me (literally!). The next thing i knew, he moved into my house. All the while saying he was 'looking for a place'. He became close to my children, cooking/baking with them, playing video games, you name it, he did it! I thought i hit the jackpot! Then little reg flags came popping up. a text i wld read or an email he forgot to exit from. All to and from woman. When i confronted him, he turned the discussion around and blamed me. I wasn't trusting. Everytime i confronted him about money (3 months had gone by and he never helped out with household bills, groceries etc.) he again turned the topic on me, i was a nag, how could i be so selfish, cant i see everything he does for me???? Then he would chime in, 'you will never meet anyone like me...look at you Rhonda, a divorced woman w/2 small children.'. i couldnt believe what i was hearing! i've always been a confident, intelligent, outgoing, woman but he slowly made me think there was something wrong with me! As time went by, my gut was telling me he's bad news and get him out! But he wouldn't leave. When i would talk to him that our relationship is not going well and i would like him to move out, he would say/yell 'what, you're gonna throw me out on the street like a dog????" i felt bad, saying at the end of the month find a place...This too went on for months. On May 9, 2008 my worst nightmare came true. After months of fighting, asking him to leave i couldn't take it any longer. My friends were scared for me however, i wasn't honest with them. Too ashamed and embarrassed. Anyhow, that morning after i went out w/friends came home and changed all the keycodes entering my house. I woke up to find my door kicked open! I ran to rooms checking where the hell the sociopath is!!! I found him in the guest room, clothes all on sprawled on my bed. I yelled at him, shouting 'get the f*&^k out of my house.....then, he came to me. Like a vicious animal. Smacking me, kicking me, pulling at my hair, spitting at me....i was soooo scared i didnt know what to do. After what felt like hours of abuse, i heard voices from downstairs. he immediately stopped and got off of me (i was pinned on the floor by him). I ran to the washroom and the horror of what i looked like was unimaginable. I splashed water on my face and went downstairs. To my horror there were 3 police officers standing in my kitchen. i was freaked out! To make a LONG story short, he was arrested and removed from the house. I was free . . . not for long. After his release he contacted me non-stop. text messages, through friends etc. i couldn't sleep, eat. i smoked cigarettes after cigarettes. And then my children. I tried desparately not to show them what was going on w/their mother!! Thankfully they were w/my ex the morning of the beating...... In September of 08 i did the unthinkable . . . i took him back. his relentless love, affection, apologies, love letters etc . . . i took him back. I am happy to say that January 2009 he moved back to his hometown leaving me and my family behind. But my freedom cost me $200,000.00. It has taken me until recently to be able to smile. Not wake up every morning w/guilt. How could i have done this to myself and my family??????!!!!!! I have found support through good friends and online sites that gear towards educating people (sad to say mostly women) on sociopathic behaviour. I have realized that it wasn't ME but that he is incapable of love. Has no remource and cons his way through life. I feel like myself again but i do have my off days:) I would love to chat w/you ladies and share stories. Laugh a bit too because i feel blessed to have gone through this experience. It has made me a stronger woman who will never allow a man or woman who have sociopathic behaviour be part of my life. Only positive energy from hereon in ladies!!!! And a fine bottle of Shiraz!! Rhonda from Toronto, Canada.