Googleberry

You're lying! That's libelous slander!

Are you sure it's a mouse? You do have tummy bugs, so could it not be some diarrhoea that's trickled down the side of the loo and gone under the floorboards!

That's easy then! The system will work with these: http://www.ebuyer.com/product/131390 I bought two, and consider them to be excellent! They were just £20 a few months ago, but £28 is still fantastic value. Good, sharp images day or night.

It's Numan, not Newman!

Slippered and wooden spooned at home, and caned at school - no criminal record! Edit: I'm not advocating this approach to discipline, by the way!

Just an idea: http://www.ebuyer.com/product/131020 eBuyer sell a lot of good and very cheap home security stuff.

That's a bit facetious! (Why would I try to help someone who is so sarcastic? )

Vaccinations.

Wilkinson Sword 'Protector' razor blades!

Well, they have quite a range. I guess you mean the Cuprinol 'Garden Shades', in which case, I would spray a reddish brown coloured stain over the top, which should give you a browner brown than you would get with just brown, if you see what I mean! Try the terracotta!

What particular blue stain did you use? This is an important factor in deciding how best to deal with it.

It can't be as bad as the 51 bus!

I am entirely objective about the possibility of a god actually Grahame. However, I see no evidence to support the existence of one, and I consider there to be no reason to invent one, which is why I dismiss your opinion!

An open mind indeed! You do make me laugh Grahame!

Oh yeah, and one more thing Grahame: that you are stupid was her conclusion; I didn't tell her that. She worked it out all by herself!