After reading many different threads about looks and which is more important personality or looks got me thinking...

Could you go for a really good looking Male or Female? or would you think to yourself... "No their out of my League!?"



How many people out there believe there is a League... and is there really such a thing?

Why do we tend to hide our feelings when attracted to someone!?

Could the reason be: "They’re out of my League!?"

I was talking to a guy once about who he fancied in the office... He mentioned several Girls names... When i asked him had he done anything about it and do they know his reply to my amazement was no 'they're out of my league'

Me being the analytical person... i looked further into it... As i too happen to believe in the League...

My conclusion is that it comes from our school days...

Theres 3 groups... Top Middle & Loser's?

Girls & Boys in the lower years who hang about with the 4th & 5th years (top class)
Girls & Boys who get on with their own groups (middle class)
then Girls & Boys who people tend to ignore they even exist (Loser’s?)


Example: If one of the loser girls or boys decided to hang out with the 4th & 5th years they’d not be welcomed... reason being they wouldn’t be good enough or on the same level to mix with the older people… they may even have that fear of being shown up by losers... It’s the same for the middle class girls & boys too who just seem get on with things in their own groups... Although the middle class wouldn’t be nasty to the losers as the Middle class just like their own space & group an don’t want it disrupted by outsiders…

So as we get older we find it more difficult to approach that Male or Female that we seem to be attracted to… as we seem to have it in our minds that there is a League and feel we may not live up to that persons expectations...



In some peoples opinions this maybe be what can be classed as ‘The League’…

Looks: Top of the League

A good looking girl can knock a bloke for six... but what about what she has to offer other than a nice body? an looks great on your arm in front of ya mates… but asking every 5 mins 'does my bum look big in this' clearly not as she’s a size 10! :roll:

Personality: Bottom of the League (maybe)


Personality: Top of the League

A fuller figured girl could do exactly the same with her bubbly fun personality... but is she given a second chance/glance... Not really cause she wouldn’t look as good on your arm or in front of ya mates... as someone slim?... If she asked 'does my bum look big in this' the answer would be a defo yes... but wouldnt have such a hang up about it... as maybe a slim girl would...

Looks: Bottom of the League (maybe)

And vice versa... Good looking men & not so good looking

Some men/women would rather go with the Top of the league looks... rather than the Top of the league personality... does this make people shallow!?

This is not a bitter thread... this is the way I feel some people see things... people should be given equal opportunities... may they be fat/slim black/white ugly or pretty... everyone is human and has feelings no matter what their size colour or looks

ps this thread isn’t to offend...

Not offended in the slightest...as yeah think that a 'league of sorts' does exist. Though not sure about the use of terms 'top', 'middle' or 'losers'!

Just that the league will vary for different people and people make different judgements. I think there is a 'league of sorts' BUT Id stress that those people not in 'my league' (!) doesnt mean they are 'better' or 'worse' than me. And as with all 'rules' there are always exceptions!

This link may be interesting...

http://www.laddertheory.com/

*awaits people who know of exceptions to the above*

posted by Angel05
Could you go for a really good looking Male or Female? or would you think to yourself... "No their out of my League!?"

Yes I think this all the time. :( prolly why I am still single, I think everyone is out of my league, maybe I should stop doing that

Yes I think this all the time. :( prolly why I am still single, I think everyone is out of my league, maybe I should stop doing that

I feel it too... i think its all down to confidence... why should we all feel others our better then ourselves?

We are who we are... same as they are who they are... no one is perfect in this world... we're all human and wanting most of the same things outta life...

But why do we feel so put off by approaching someone that we're attracted to because we feel they're out of our league?

I was once told i was out of someones league... i practically laughed in their face... i'm not in any league... i'm me... :)

I feel it too... i think its all down to confidence... why should we all feel others our better then ourselves?

We are who we are... same as they are who they are... no one is perfect in this world... we're all human and wanting most of the same things outta life...

But why do we feel so put off by approaching someone that we're attracted to because we feel they're out of our league?

I was once told i was out of someones league... i practically laughed in their face... i'm not in any league... i'm me... :)

OMG I couldn`t have put this better myself, its that word that haunts me all the time "confidence"

Does the league apply to women chasing men??

the term 'Out of my League' is often used by blokes. This isn't being derogotary at any women (from my experience) but men feeling they will be rejected by their looks. As for 'Bottom of the league' i have yet to here this, generally a guy will say she's not his type or that he doesn't fancy her.

Let's not get hung up on the guy judging women thing, i know from experience and talking to women that they are the same when judging blokes.

OMG I couldn`t have put this better myself, its that word that haunts me all the time "confidence"

Confidence & Self esteem always have a lot to answer for... my confidence always depends on circumstances and whether or not i know the people around me... my main problem is my shyness :?


Does the league apply to women chasing men??

the term 'Out of my League' is often used by blokes. This isn't being derogotary at any women (from my experience) but men feeling they will be rejected by their looks. As for 'Bottom of the league' i have yet to here this, generally a guy will say she's not his type or that he doesn't fancy her.

Let's not get hung up on the guy judging women thing, i know from experience and talking to women that they are the same when judging blokes.

Being out of someones League happens for Men & Women... if i see a good looking guy... i'll most of the time think... nah he's way outta my league...

But really its like the saying goes... "Dont judge a book by its cover" yeah! ok he could be good looking but once he opens his mouth he could be a total geek... in which case he wouldnt be outta my league after all :hihi:

Yey! and she scores... :roll: :hihi:

i think its the fact that people keep telling themselves that there is a league.. its caught on and will never go away therefore it affects peoples confidence.. i personally find it difficult to approach a guy if i fancy him but yeah i will say to myself, oh no he is out of my league, no point in embarrasing myself. However i do ask myself what is my league? and cant really answer, as when i am with someone no matter how much he likes me i still feel that im not good enough. (unless he is an @rsehole of course) Why is everything and everybody put into a category, league, stereotype???!!! oh it makes me maaaad

I think the league only exists when the person involved lacks confidence. I think that anyone no matter how they look can get near enough anyone they want. You just have to have the self esteem, confidence and personality to go for it.

It's really such a shame that so many people seem to think like this, that someone could be 'out of their league'. That is so negative and so defeatist - not meaning to be harsh, but how much is 'out of my league' an excuse to get out of making the effort it takes to get to know someone? It's so much easier to say 'why bother? He/she won't fancy me anyway'.

Each and every one of us has a different 'blueprint' in our head of the person we're looking for - one person's 10 will be another person's 7 or 5, if they're into judging people like that. How can a person be reduced to a number? How demoralising, even for a 10, to think that their looks, personality, intelligence, charm, and everything else can be quantified like that.

Anyway, we all fancy/admire different things in people, so how can you posibly say 'so and so is out of my league?' Rubbish - you have no idea what they might find attractive.

And if you don't approach them to get to know them, you will never find out. What a waste. You might have been exactly what they were looking for. Give them a chance.

Seriously, isn't it worth suffering a bit of momentary embarrassment for the chance of starting what could be the most wonderful relationship of your life? Isn't that worth taking a bit of a risk for?

StarSparkle

It's really such a shame that so many people seem to think like this, that someone could be 'out of their league'. That is so negative and so defeatist - not meaning to be harsh, but how much is 'out of my league' an excuse to get out of making the effort it takes to get to know someone? It's so much easier to say 'why bother? He/she won't fancy me anyway'.

Each and every one of us has a different 'blueprint' in our head of the person we're looking for - one person's 10 will be another person's 7 or 5, if they're into judging people like that. How can a person be reduced to a number? How demoralising, even for a 10, to think that their looks, personality, intelligence, charm, and everything else can be quantified like that.

Anyway, we all fancy/admire different things in people, so how can you posibly say 'so and so is out of my league?' Rubbish - you have no idea what they might find attractive.

And if you don't approach them to get to know them, you will never find out. What a waste. You might have been exactly what they were looking for. Give them a chance.

Seriously, isn't it worth suffering a bit of momentary embarrassment for the chance of starting what could be the most wonderful relationship of your life? Isn't that worth taking a bit of a risk for?

StarSparkle
Well said. I don't think there is such thing as a league, otherwise why would you see so many beautiful girls with not so good looking boyfriends?!! It does happen!! We all find different things attractive in people and nobody can get anyone they want, not even Brad Pitt!!!

I don't consider myself to be too good for anybody. If I fancy them then it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. The irony is that my ex was a very beautiful girl yet she told me that she actually thought that I was out of her league and had fancied me for ages before plucking up the courage to talk to me!! That was incredible coming from a girl who could probably have got pretty much any guy she wanted and who I never dreamed would be interested in me. I know all the guys at work (we met at work) were very jealous of me!

I think it's easier for girls to get blokes than the other way round though because traditionally it's the guy that makes the first move. I hate that rule!! I wish more girls would come and talk to me, I don't bite!! I also wish I had more confidence to talk to them because there have been a number of times where I've had a crush on a girl but not done anything about it for fear of rejection and then later found out they had a crush on me too!!

I suffer a lack of confidence because I was a bit of an ugly ducking at school. I was a bit geeky, wore glasses and didn't really take pride in my appearance but since I turned 16 then I've had an almost total transformation. It hit home to me how different I look now when there was a girl I had a major crush on when I was 14 but she didn't want to know but when she saw me out round town about 4 years ago she was all over me. Boy did it feel good to turn her down!! haha!!

The way I see it is that if someone considers themselves to be out of your league then they aren't worth knowing anyway. I look at myself as being a very good catch and if a girl doesn't want me then that's their loss, not mine!

I never used to think this way but have done so for the last few years...

This has been done before on a thread last year. it was called something like: 'Is he/she out of you league'.

This has been done before on a thread last year. it was called something like: 'Is he/she out of you league'.

Almost BUMP

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=23539

Original Poll Posted 12-12-2004, 12:58 PM :thumbsup: