its my friends funeral tomoorw and everyone seems to be expecting me to say something but i dont knopw what i should say, i havent been myself lately even before he died and things feel a lot worse now im not sure if im in the right state of mind to stand up and say anything

People would surely understand if you can't. A lot of people have the courage to do this, personally funerals upset me too much and there would be no way that I could ever speak at one.

Im realy sorry abou your friend mandy :(
Im sure everyone will understand if you dont feel up to saying something. Talking in front of a large group of people is hard enough never mind in this situation when your emotions will be all over the place.
Whatever happens good luck, just being there is the most important thing xxx

Really sorry to hear your sad news. :( I have (somehow) managed to get up & speak at a couple of funerals. It can be really difficult, though I was glad that I did it.

But ... you can only do what you can do. If it all feels too much and you think you would really struggle then just don't do it. Funerals are horrible enough as it is without the added pressure you're currently feeling.

I will be thinking about you. Feel free to PM me if you need a chat. Bereavement seems to be my specialist subject I'm afraid. :(

Big Hugs xxx

My best friend died a few weeks ago, and I spoke at her funeral. Words couldn't really sum her up, but four pages later, I was still trying...

I saw this opportunity as a gift, a time when I could tell the whole congregation about this woman I knew and loved, but Mandy, no-one will be upset with you if you decide not to say anything. It has to be a personal choice, and if you don't want to do it, that's ok. Try not to give yourself a hard time over it, and if you need to talk, you know where we are.

Hugs

Mandy25:

Maybe you could write down your thoughts and have someone else read them aloud at the funeral. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook so you and others could express your feelings on paper for the family. So sorry about your loss.

It is an extremely hard thing to do. When my best friend died a couple of years ago I was chosen as the first person to speak at her funeral. I thought that I'd never be able to do it but somehow I managed. I read out a poem that she had written for me about the value of true friendship.(true friendship can never be measured, only treasured) It was very appropriate. I started to crack half way through but took a deep breath and carried on. I'm glad I managed to do it as it was important to me and to her children.

If you feel you can't do it don't worry. People will understand and won't think any less of you. You may find that when the time comes so do the words and it may feel the right thing to do.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope that tomorrow isn't too traumatic for you.

Hugs x

its my friends funeral tomoorw and everyone seems to be expecting me to say something but i dont know what i should say, i havent been myself lately even before he died and things feel a lot worse now im not sure if im in the right state of mind to stand up and say anything

It takes a lot of courage to do this, it is a very emotional time for every one, you should not be pressurised into doing this, even though it happens to be for your friend, you could always write your thoughts down and let the person conducting the service read it on your behalf. My daughter spoke at my son's funeral, I know it was the hardest thing she 's ever done, her words were lovely and I'm really proud of her.

You have my heartfelt sympathy, I seem to have attended a few funerals recently too. You may be able to read something if you try, but have someone to take over from you if you find you cannot carry on. The most important thing is to be there, and the memories you carry forward. There are some beautiful poems and readings if you dont want to write your own words. My thoughts are with you. xx

i went to my nans funeral about 4-5 weeks ago now and i would have loved to have had the confidence to tell people about my nan, how much of an amazing, loving, caring woman she was, but im not confident, i was too wrapped up in grief but i talk to her picture from time to time and thats more important as it is from you to her, not talking to a bunch of people you hardly know!!

Its up to you hunny, but dont feel bad if u dont, u can always say all the great stuff about ur mate at his grave, thats wot i will be doing when my nans plaque goes up :)

good luck :)

I dont know what to say to support you during this difficult time. Try and be there and aware of your feet on the ground with the people around you also all sharing in your grief for a dearly loved friend. I am sure you will do everything you need to do and say everything that you need to say with assurance and aplomb.

I think my previous post stemmed from a quote I heard "And this too shall pass" all too soon and before you know it. Thinking of you.

How did it go? I was thinking about you. xxx

aw thanks it went ok i said a few words i didnt stay long after but i feel a little better about things now

Just glad you're doing ok honey xxx