View Full Version : How does a lady shake a gentlemans hand ?


Littlepink
20-12-2011, 14:50
What is the social etiquette of a lady shaking a gentlemans hand? If a casual "hi" or a hug is not appropriate when meeting a gentleman how should she hold his hand? Is it firm like a male or gentle and girlie like? I believe men read other men by their handshake so is that the same for women too? :help:

CXC3000
20-12-2011, 14:51
With her hand ? :confused:

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 14:53
With her hand ? :confused:

Ha ! You don't know what the etiquette is ! Just admit it , go on say it then I'll feel better :hihi:

CXC3000
20-12-2011, 14:55
Ha ! You don't know what the etiquette is ! Just admit it , go on say it then I'll feel better :hihi:

Lol !

And I think it's the same as men shaking hands with men; the only difference I'd say is that women's handshake would generally be 'softer' and probably more 'limp' :D

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 14:58
Lol !

And I think it's the same as men shaking hands with men; the only difference I'd say is that women's handshake would generally be 'softer' and probably more 'limp' :D

So if I am correct in thinking when a man shakes another mans hand and he puts his other hand on top , it is to show he feels more powerful in position , then if a lady does it to a man does it mean she is the boss ? ;)

willman
20-12-2011, 15:02
I think people read to much into non entities like hand shakes. I've shaken hands with some real limp wristers who've proved to be mean negotiators and felt a Mike Tyson grip but people who were wimps.

Ladies should just shake hands as they see fit, whilst not moving away a stray hair from their face in case it's taken as a sign of flirting.

auto98uk
20-12-2011, 15:06
Correctly speaking, it shouldn't be a shake, it should be a very gentle squeeze. But I agree with willman above.

DUFFEMS
20-12-2011, 15:07
The thing which always baffles me when people meet is, why do men shake mens' hands and yet hug/kiss women.
Not that I expect it the other way round but, in these times of equality why isn't just a handshake between either sex more acceptable?

Agent Orange
20-12-2011, 15:12
What is the social etiquette of a lady shaking a gentlemans hand? If a casual "hi" or a hug is not appropriate when meeting a gentleman how should she hold his hand? Is it firm like a male or gentle and girlie like? I believe men read other men by their handshake so is that the same for women too? :help:

I only judge a woman by the way she kisses and I am sure other men do too. So, uou have no worries about being judged on a mere handshake. Just a light grip would suffice.

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 15:12
Correctly speaking, it shouldn't be a shake, it should be a very gentle squeeze. But I agree with willman above.

Ahh now that's what I tend to do because I do not need to do it often but I wondered what impression I am giving to men who are accustomed to it daily . If I was a business woman would my handshake need to be firmer? I'm not losing sleep over this but it does intrigue me .....

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 15:13
I only judge a woman by the way she kisses and I am sure other men do too. So, uou have no worries about being judged on a mere handshake. Just a light grip will suffice.

Now that I have mastered :cool:

Agent Orange
20-12-2011, 15:14
Now that I have mastered :cool:

Proof is in the pudding :suspect: :D

Crayfish
20-12-2011, 15:14
Just like anyone should shake anyone's hand, firm and with a smile, definitely not overpowering, clammy, cold, or limp.

I've shaken hands with one lady who managed to make her hand feel exactly like a dead fish. This was at an interview and although she was offered the job, everyone at the panel commented on her handshake as an off putting factor.

Handshakes are important, and no different at all for men and women. Some men will try to crush your hand like a bug. I broke a metacarpal in my right hand recently enough to not like this approach much.

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 15:18
Just like anyone should shake anyone's hand, firm and with a smile, definitely not overpowering, clammy, cold, or limp.

I've shaken hands with one lady who managed to make her hand feel exactly like a dead fish. This was at an interview and although she was offered the job, everyone at the panel commented on her handshake as an off putting factor.

Handshakes are important, and no different at all for men and women. Some men will try to crush your hand like a bug. I broke a metacarpal in my right hand recently enough to not like this approach much.

:o that worries me ! I'll need to check for coldness or clamminess before I shake someone's hand . I'm not sure anyone would want to shake it if I have to pull a towel out of my pocket first ;)

spooky3
20-12-2011, 15:21
I think people read to much into non entities like hand shakes. I've shaken hands with some real limp wristers who've proved to be mean negotiators and felt a Mike Tyson grip but people who were wimps.

Ladies should just shake hands as they see fit, whilst not moving away a stray hair from their face in case it's taken as a sign of flirting.

I sometimes use the poker hand shake where i'll offer my hand up turned and see if they greedily take it in an overpowering way or actually try to even it.

auto98uk
20-12-2011, 15:23
I sometimes use the poker hand shake where i'll offer my hand up turned and see if they greedily take it in an overpowering way or actually try to even it.

How can you infer anything when it is you offering your hand in the submissive position? They could actually be submissive themselves so are doing what they think you want them to do.

spooky3
20-12-2011, 15:27
How can you infer anything when it is you offering your hand in the submissive position? They could actually be submissive themselves so are doing what they think you want them to do.

Because they won't do it greedily.

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 15:50
I sometimes use the poker hand shake where i'll offer my hand up turned and see if they greedily take it in an overpowering way or actually try to even it.

What does it mean if they try to even it ?

spooky3
20-12-2011, 15:56
What does it mean if they try to even it ?

If you have:

- Palm up: you are in the submissive position
- Palm down: you are in the dominant position
- Both vertical: an equal position

I was taught if someone forces your vertical hand into a submissive position, then cover it with your other hand. If they then do the same, then you pull forward putting them off balance.

In essence, use equal position, single good shake, firm but not overly tight.

http://www.speechmastery.com/hand-shake.html

shanes teeth
20-12-2011, 16:04
So much depends on the situation and how well(if at all)you know the person.In a business situation I shake a man or womans hand just the same.In a social situation it depends if you know them or if they are friends of the person introducing you.It can vary between a straight handshake,a handshake with a hand on top or to the upper-arm or even a hug for a man or a woman.And you also have to decide whether a kiss is appropriate as you shake hands.I always try for a kiss on the cheeks(all four of them) if appropriate.The correct form of these greetings just seems to happen!
Incidentally.what does a man do standing up,a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

Crayfish
20-12-2011, 16:05
If you have:

- Palm up: you are in the submissive position
- Palm down: you are in the dominant position
- Both vertical: an equal position

I was taught if someone forces your vertical hand into a submissive position, then cover it with your other hand. If they then do the same, then you pull forward putting them off balance.

In essence, use equal position, single good shake, firm but not overly tight.

http://www.speechmastery.com/hand-shake.html

And if they also pull forward, you headbutt them in the face? Seems like a natural escalation. Actually, you can also pull off a few joint locks, throws, and chokes from a handshake position if necessary.

Then of course there are the special handshakes. I always get these wrong. Especially the finger wiggling explosion parts surprise me every time. Perhaps there is a role for gender, I guess flying chest bumps are probably best not attempted by ladies.

nubile
20-12-2011, 16:06
All this fuss over a handshake. !

spooky3
20-12-2011, 16:09
Think of movies and literature, a gentleman always assumes the submissive position for a lady.

Go on, first one to mention sexism...

Plain Talker
20-12-2011, 16:11
So much depends on the situation and how well(if at all)you know the person.In a business situation I shake a man or womans hand just the same.In a social situation it depends if you know them or if they are friends of the person introducing you.It can vary between a straight handshake,a handshake with a hand on top or to the upper-arm or even a hug for a man or a woman.And you also have to decide whether a kiss is appropriate as you shake hands.I always try for a kiss on the cheeks(all four of them) if appropriate.The correct form of these greetings just seems to happen!
Incidentally.what does a man do standing up,a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

Shakes hands of course! lol

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 16:14
If you have:

- Palm up: you are in the submissive position
- Palm down: you are in the dominant position
- Both vertical: an equal position

I was taught if someone forces your vertical hand into a submissive position, then cover it with your other hand. If they then do the same, then you pull forward putting them off balance.

In essence, use equal position, single good shake, firm but not overly tight.

http://www.speechmastery.com/hand-shake.html

Spooky , I love you !, ........that's the kind of site I tried to find but couldn't . I obviously do a " palm pinch" .

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 16:16
All this fuss over a handshake. !

Yeah but it's fascinating stuff ! I knew a little about handshakes but I've learnt quite a bit today . Traditions like this should continue cos it interests me when I people watch :)

nubile
20-12-2011, 16:17
Yeah but it's fascinating stuff ! I knew a little about handshakes but I've learnt quite a bit today . Traditions like this should continue cos it interests me when I people watch :)

Each to their own, as they say. :hihi:

shanes teeth
20-12-2011, 16:18
Shakes hands of course! lol

I thought it would be one of the old people on here that got it.(1960's christmas crackers,anyone?):hihi:

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 16:20
Each to their own, as they say. :hihi:

I'm off work for Christmas now so I have time to think of these very important matters :thumbsup:

Plain Talker
20-12-2011, 16:24
I thought it would be one of the old people on here that got it.(1960's christmas crackers,anyone?):hihi:

you mean.... I'm NOT ... old????

thank you ! XXXXX

shane39
20-12-2011, 17:24
Hold out your arm,and ask them to pull a finger....Then do a big rasping fart.
Usually breaks the ice,and empties the room.

Littlepink
20-12-2011, 17:37
Hold out your arm,and ask them to pull a finger....Then do a big rasping fart.
Usually breaks the ice,and empties the room.

Ladies don't do that kind of thing ;)