An old school friend who moved down to London a few years ago was in Sheffield for a few days last week. Ever proud of the city of her birth and it's citizens, she brought her long term girlfriend with her and was amazed and apalled by some of the narrow minded bigotry they encountered during their stay.
I dread to think of the impression of our city that these two attractive and succesful career women have taken away with them after being spat at in the street (I thought spitting in the street was an offence...not holding hands with your partner) and being told in no uncertain terms by the male customers of one city centre bar that "we don't want any f*****g dykes in here".
We may live in a city that is moving to become a modern city for the 21st century....but it makes you wonder if the same can be said for some (thankfully a minority) of it's citizens.

Thank God, it's a minority who have the bigoted attitudes your friend came up against. I am so sorry to hear your friend encountered this awful attitude.

I wonder... would the forum mods let you name and shame the pub in question, so that we can boycott it till their staff come out of the stone age?

(at the very least, they're failing to follow the equal ops statement that their company should have set in place, which should state "equal treatment regardless of race, gender, disabilty or sexual orientation")

PT

An old school friend who moved down to London a few years ago was in Sheffield for a few days last week. Ever proud of the city of her birth and it's citizens, she brought her long term girlfriend with her and was amazed and apalled by some of the narrow minded bigotry they encountered during their stay.
I dread to think of the impression of our city that these two attractive and succesful career women have taken away with them after being spat at in the street (I thought spitting in the street was an offence...not holding hands with your partner) and being told in no uncertain terms by the male customers of one city centre bar that "we don't want any f*****g dykes in here".
We may live in a city that is moving to become a modern city for the 21st century....but it makes you wonder if the same can be said for some (thankfully a minority) of it's citizens.

thats discusting, i really can't see why people act like that.

Did your friend expect to be treated the same as she is in London? I hope she thought to herself that outside london, where you don't see it everyday people are bound to act differently, and the play the numbers game and you'll come across rude people.

I would of course never be rude but i would stare a bit if i saw 2 girls together in public, simply because i don't see it very often, therefore to me its interesting

Sadly it was the customers who were from the stone age.....the staff apparently were brilliant

Apologies, rusty i got hold of the wrong end of the stick, I read it as the staff were bad to your friend.

Staff or customers.. still unacceptable behaviour, IMO, regardless!

PT

The Sheffield she remembers was city of genuine, open and welcoming down to earth folk who looked out for their own and welcomed those unfortunate enough to live anywhere other than Sheffield....(and no she is not a 100 years old....she's 32)

I'm sorry to hear that your friend had such a bad first impression. I thought that there is a small gay community here ? I know that there are a few pink nights here and there in terms of clubbing.

Maybe it takes time for people to accept it within their communities. I've lived in Manchester for my student days for 4 years. I know that the gay community have changed the city itself. I'm sure that people's perceptions will change in time to come.

I wonder what happens if the guy who spat at your friends, had a daughter, and one day found out that she likes women ?

Very good point Bago...would he disown his own daughter because of her sexuality?

My friends are back up in a couple of weeks for a family "do"...but they have said that this time they will stick to having a drink in places where they feel safe and welcome i.e where they are accepted for who and what they are (if they can find such a bar in Sheffield).

Lions Lair - Gay Pub
Fuel - Gay Club
XES - Late opening Gay Club
Dempsey's - A gay pub for the last resort

They really should be welcomed anywhere but if they want a specific environment then the above should suffice.

Well tell them next time they come up 2 go to the new gay pub in sheffield called Lions Lair its jst down from Kingdom n its really nice and with a really friendly atmosphere. I must say i am also discusted with the way your friends were treated and after seing sheffields LGB scene develop over the past 12 months you cant help but get the feeling of one step forward and 2 steps back when people still come out with that narrowminded attitude.

God that is awful. I was appalled to read this and cannot believe they were treated this way. That's really sad and has angered me.

Unfortunatley, I think London, Brighton and Manchester are very much the exception rather than the rule in this country. Narrow-minded attitudes abound in the more provincial areas of the country (including Sheffield), and not just in regard to sexuality. My partner's nephew was gay-bashed in Chelmsford recently, which disgusted me. He lives in Manchester, and I wonder if it's possible to start to forget what other parts of the country are like.

As a man I wouldn't mind seeing 2 women holding hands, but would feel uncomfortable if I saw 2 men doing the same, and worse if they were getting "closer" than just holding hands, and most men I know feel the same. Personally I would just look away and would never attack them in any way, but knowing what some people are like I can believe that some would attack them. For their own safety they would be better doing such activities in private.

Lions Lair - Gay Pub

Is it????


Well bugger me- i didn't know that :D

Is it????


Well bugger me- i didn't know that :D
It's a recent aquisition by the people who brought FUEL to Sheffield.
It has recently become a gay pub.

For their own safety they would be better doing such activities in private.

Why? So they don't offend those prehistorical thinking creatures who can't seem to grasp that being gay is no more different than being in an hetrosexual relationship. I don't see why someone should have to change the way they are to suit others.

Rusty: I think Devonshire Cat is definitely a good hangout for its beers.

PerlOfWisdom:
I don't understand why people would be attacked for being friendly and intimate in public. (Okay, maybe there is an intimacy level to which is socially acceptable, even by the gay community's standards.) I know in Manchester, people used to go into gay pubs AND pick a fight. It's the reason why there are pubs on Canal Street* which don't welcome heterosexual people. I never did understand why then, but I do now. As a punters, you wouldn't want people to gaup at you if you did wear a leather jackets and tight jeans, or is kissing your partner or holding hands. To me, you have to see it from the gay community's perspective, which is that, they just want to be themselves, and be accepted for it.

Then there are trendier bars which welcome any drinkers of any sexual orientations. It's quite fun for females, as you get to meet some really friendly gay guys who just want to be your fashion consultants !

*(Someone painted over the C once, which I found funny. :P)

Unfortunatley, I think London, Brighton and Manchester are very much the exception rather than the rule in this country. Narrow-minded attitudes abound in the more provincial areas of the country (including Sheffield), and not just in regard to sexuality. My partner's nephew was gay-bashed in Chelmsford recently, which disgusted me. He lives in Manchester, and I wonder if it's possible to start to forget what other parts of the country are like.

Chelmsford is the scumbag capital of the world. If you can lift your knuckles half an inch of the ground and have a conversation about anything that doesn't involve Sunday League or highlights then you are a poncy student type who needs a good kicking.

Really awful to hear of something like this happening but I think the thing to learn here is that it's sometimes better to be a little discreet ( and before you all shout me down I know, I know we shouldn't have to be!)

As said earlier - most places in the UK are not like Brighton, Manchester or London and not everyone is as understanding of other people's lifestyles. Some people may just stare (out of curiousity or because they're suprised) but a small minority react badly. But these are probably the same people who react this way to anything that they don't understand or agree with.

Sheffield is much better these days than it has been for years and many of the bars in town are friendly and accepting. You have to remember though that it's not always the bar that makes the atmosphere, it's the people who are in it and the crowd can change by the minute. So you need to be aware of your surroundings and go with the flow.

To be honest I don't like to see couples of any persuasion being intimate in bars - it just put's me off my beer!

cheers!

As a man I wouldn't mind seeing 2 women holding hands, but would feel uncomfortable if I saw 2 men doing the same, and worse if they were getting "closer" than just holding hands, and most men I know feel the same. Personally I would just look away and would never attack them in any way, but knowing what some people are like I can believe that some would attack them. For their own safety they would be better doing such activities in private.

They shouldn't have to do it in private, it's 2006.

What homophobes (and racists) fail to realise is that their prejudice is THEIR problem, not that of the people they're prejudiced against. Instead of suggesting that gay people don't express intimacy for fear of offending homophobes, I would suggest that homophobes don't go out so they don't have to witness this behaviour that offends them so.

If I had an irrational dislike of the colour red, would I be entitled to abuse, spit on or attack anyone who chose to wear red? Should people either have to choose not to wear red or stay indoors, so that I don't get to see any garments of this colour? Homophobia is basically the same thing as this.

:mad:

I think that PerlofWisdom meant that there are people out there who will attack others, verbally and physically - its not right, but it does happen - so if you read it from a safety aspect...

I personally think that whatever your sexuality you should be able to feel comfortable holding hands or kissing in public - but I dont think the rest of sheffield/the Uk has caught up with this thinking, and it will probably take a long time to get there.

Sheffield, although I love the place is not the most cosmopolitan of cities. It doesn't surprise me that your friends were treated in such a way.

However, it depends upon which bar they went in, there are many bars which are "gay" friendly and quite rightly so. For example I doubt in somewhere like Lounge on West Street would the two women be treated as appalingly.

All in all though, Sheffield has a long way to go to be either:

*tolerant
*Gay friendly
*or a thriving gay scene

And it will be a while before it will be, which is a shame.

hmm i think seeing two men expressing affection towards each other is very niice indeed..

Is it????


Well bugger me- i didn't know that :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
????????????????? :suspect: :( :o

[QUOTE=PerlOfWisdom]As a man I wouldn't mind seeing 2 women holding hands, but would feel uncomfortable if I saw 2 men doing the same, and worse if they were getting "closer" than just holding hands, and most men I know feel the same. Personally I would just look away and would never attack them in any way, but knowing what some people are like I can believe that some would attack them. For their own safety they would be better doing such activities in private.]QUOTE

I would never, personally, either do or condone violence under the circumstances. I have to say, however, that the sight of 2 men acting intimately such as kissing, or holding hands, would always leave me feeling physicaly sick. In fact, about 10 years ago I saw 2 blokes kissing in the shelter at Low Edges bus terminus and I chucked my tea up in the gutter. :gag: Sorry folks, it just turns my stomach and there is nothing that I can do about it. I cannot view such carrryings on as anything other than abnormal & perverted. :shocked:

If those involved would be discreet & take it all away from the public gaze then I would not have half the problem that I do at the moment. :o :(

[/QUOTE]
I would never, personally, either do or condone violence under the circumstances. I have to say, however, that the sight of 2 men acting intimately such as kissing, or holding hands, would always leave me feeling physicaly sick. In fact, about 10 years ago I saw 2 blokes kissing in the shelter at Low Edges bus terminus and I chucked my tea up in the gutter. :gag: Sorry folks, it just turns my stomach and there is nothing that I can do about it. I cannot view such carrryings on as anything other than abnormal & perverted. :shocked:

If those involved would be discreet & take it all away from the public gaze then I would not have half the problem that I do at the moment. :o :([/QUOTE]

Just look away then. When you are not gay most blokes (incl me) dont really like to see two blokes kissing away. But it is accepted in todays society and i have no problem with it so dont think they have to be discreet at all. I'd simply not look or more look at the two women kissing :D

i think the only reason straight men find two men showing pysical love to each other unnautral..is because they normally see men fighting and hurting one another..thus why they find the urge to cause gay men harm. Unfortnatly.. most gay men wouldnt retaliate.. the worse we can do is Slap lol

i think the only reason straight men find two men showing pysical love to each other unnautral..is because they normally see men fighting and hurting one another..thus why they find the urge to cause gay men harm. Unfortnatly.. most gay men wouldnt retaliate.. the worse we can do is Slap lol

I dont think the vast majority of us have any urge to harm gay men. I also dont normally watch violence so IMO i cant see that as the reason.