I was just thinking about this the other day...when we were children we all asumed that our childhood/upbringing were normal' we had to as we didn't know anything else' really isn't marriage the same? Those of us thats only been married once surely think that our marriages are normal?...
For example...My husband works very hard to support me and our daughter i work part time. I do absolutley everything in the house and for my daughter..he doesn't. In the week my husband comes home from his job about 6:30 has his tea then goes to sleep for an hour or so...i come on here! then we watch tv at a night time then go to bed. On a weekend i take my daughter out on a saturday shopping or cinema while my husband has his time like going out on his motorbike or catching up on his sleep...then we go out with friends on the saturday night. On a sunday we do something all together and have dinner out somewhere.
So that to me is a normal marriage
What do you think does this sound to you like yes thats how marriages normally end up or do you think gosh that poor woman or gosh that lucky woman?
For those of you that have been married before how did the two compare?
Please note that i'm no way complaining i love my husband and my life but because we don't compare being married just wondered if this is a normal marriage in your eyes????:suspect:

we generally have at least one other marriage to compare too, that of our parents, although I suppose people from single parent backgrounds are more common these days.

I'm not married, but I do live with my partner and we've been together for 5 years now. We also don't have any children or plans for them, which probably has a large impact on any relationship.

Personally, we both work full time, we share the tasks around the house, although a few things become my job or her job just due to who is better able to do them. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't put up with me coming in and putting my feet up every night, and I know I wouldn't put up with it from her.

A marriage or relationship is a partnership afterall, so IMO both partners should shoulder an equal portion of whatever burden there is (be that tidying the house, raising a child or washing the pots). How you choose to split that burden fairly is upto each couple I suppose.

In my opinion "normal" is whatever you're happy with. What's normal for one person maybe abnormal for another. You sound like you're happy with your life/marriage - you both strive hard for your home and your family in different ways ie your husband works hard, presumably full time (?) and you work hard part time and run the home. Does he help out any other way around the house for example gardening, decorating etc? The reason I ask, is that type of work tends to left to the man of the house - not all, I hasten to add - certainly not in mine, coz there aint one!! When reckoning up the hours spent running a home, those tasks tend to be forgotten. I'm not siding with the man of the house, just trying to see it from both points of view! So like I say if it feels good for you, its normal!! :thumbsup:

Racheylou.... Your marriage is very similar to mine..so yep i would say its normal...Me and my hubby both work full time..he does nights and i work days...He works 4 on 4 off...i work 5 days...we dont really spend much time together at all...Execpt for when hes on his 4 off,and its my days off,then we will do things as a family,but the time we do spend together is quality time for all 4 of us....Sometimes i wonder if theres anything we can do to spend more time together,but the answer is NO,
I think if your home and marriage is running smoothly and happily then why change it:thumbsup:

I don't think there is such a thing as normal, every relationship is different, I do beleive that you get your ideas about what is 'normal' from your parents though. My relationship is different as he does all the house work and cooking, that is what works for us but this doesn't mean it would work for everybody. people have different routines so need a different kind of relationship. Are you happy with the way your relationship works?

I know what normal isn't and that was my parents marriage hence the divorce! My dad was selfish' in the pub after work all the time' and totally unfaithful! which my hubby's nothing like...( i hope)
So yes totally happy. Just curious of other people's relationships really. we are all individuals i suppose and will or wont put up with different things.
Thanks for your reply's anyway:)

Having been married twice I can confirm that what you exeprience in a relationship (barring any domestic violence or other unpleasant experiences) is probably normal. My two marriages could not have been more different but both felt normal at the time. The first felt as though I was doing the bulk of the work (gardening, decorating, car fixing etc) having said that I did not get involved in the financial side of things or organising holidays, birthdays, christmas etc so I probably had a bit of a biased view. Towards the end I was living alone while my partner was working away for weeks/months at a time. My current partner and I have a totally different relationship where I take the lead on finances but everything else is split equally, we both work full time and my partner works 12 hour shifts so needs a bit more recovery time than I do (sat in front of a pc for an average of 7.5 hours a day) all decisions are considered very carefully before a decision is made and life is very good at the moment. Things will change later in the year with the birth of our first child and I look forward to the challenges and experiences the change will bring. Normal is what you are comfortable with and are happy to accept, I'm a great believer in "if you don't like it then change something until you do"