... of the opposite sex.

Personally I find it very hard and kinda clam up ... but ...

Do you have a problem doing this !?

Do you have any secrets for success !?

I just don't do it...

... the only times it's every worked is when I haven't intended to approach them for anything other than some "normal" reason, eg: ask directions, time, etc...

The trouble with me is I do sometimes do it (when I've had too many) which isn't a good idea when you're as old as me and married.

Luckily, I'm never taken seriously!

Originally posted by Jamie
... of the opposite sex.

Personally I find it very hard and kinda clam up ... but ...

Do you have a problem doing this !?

Do you have any secrets for success !?

Easy to do if you're using a chat-up line that is cheesy enough to make them laugh ;)

Example: Go up to a girl and say one of the following:
"Are you looking for Mr.Right, or Mr.Right now?"
"The word of the day is legs.. now let's go back to your place and spread the word"
If it's a "large" girl you're chatting in a bar say:
"Your round..... I'll get the drinks in" :D

I realise this post will go down about as well as a turd in a trifle :thumbsup:

Gaz

Please for the love of god no one listen to Gaz B or there is really no hope for the single women of sheffield cos all the bloaks will have turned onto cheesy w***ers! Take it from me the girls are sat there wondering exactly the same thing, it would be good if we could all just drop the bulls**t and chat to people we fancy. But that is the wonderful world of paranoia!

Originally posted by caz2
Please for the love of god no one listen to Gaz B or there is really no hope for the single women of sheffield cos all the bloaks will have turned onto cheesy w***ers! Take it from me the girls are sat there wondering exactly the same thing, it would be good if we could all just drop the bulls**t and chat to people we fancy. But that is the wonderful world of paranoia!

I think I would die of embaressment and / or laffing if I tried those lines ...

What would you suggest as an alternative to GazB's approach !?

I always liked Garf's approach in Wayne's World.

Stick foxy lady on the juke box and go up to her strutting your stuff! The worse you are the funny it will be and the more they will like you!

For some Wayne's World dancing tips look here. (http://www.tvdance.com/waynesworld/)

Originally posted by caz2
Please for the love of god no one listen to Gaz B or there is really no hope for the single women of sheffield cos all the bloaks will have turned onto cheesy w***ers! Take it from me the girls are sat there wondering exactly the same thing, it would be good if we could all just drop the bulls**t and chat to people we fancy. But that is the wonderful world of paranoia!

Well lucky for me that I already have a gorgeous girlfriend then eh? :)

Alternative to being cheesy is:

"Hi, I'm not normally one to just come up and chat to a girl I don't know, nor do I have any cheesy chat-up lines.. But I was wondering if you'd like to have a drink with me?"

Might work :?

If you like a girl/Guy (it dosent always have to be the men that do all the chatting up) Just go over to them and introduce yourself. Whats the worst thing that could happen? You could miss the opportunity to meet your soul mate through not talking to them.
"if i like a girl i let her know"

Originally posted by ady189
If you like a girl/Guy (it dosent always have to be the men that do all the chatting up) Just go over to them and introduce yourself. Whats the worst thing that could happen? You could miss the opportunity to meet your soul mate through not talking to them.
"if i like a girl i let her know"

I totally agree ... if you find someone attractive you have to let them know somehow ... preferably in a non-threatening way that doesn't make you look like a complete idiot.

I personally find that if I am very attracted to a girl ... I kinda go into 'panic mode' and it feels like everything is 'gripped' inside ... as if my heart / lungs are being squeezed ... and I will start to think like 'well ... I would only get blown out ... so lets not bother' ... so I end up taking no action.

I am sure this happens to a lot of guys ... maybe it's different for girls !?

Originally posted by Jamie


I personally find that if I am very attracted to a girl ... I kinda go into 'panic mode' and it feels like everything is 'gripped' inside ... as if my heart / lungs are being squeezed ... and I will start to think like 'well ... I would only get blown out ... so lets not bother' ... so I end up taking no action.

I am sure this happens to a lot of guys ... maybe it's different for girls !? [/B]

It is exactly the same to girls. I'm newly single and it sucks. Just a constant sense of insecurity. I wish i could switch off that annoying little voice that causes it but......what the hell i hear celebacy is coming back into fashion!

I like GazB's alternitive chat up tech. Well it would work on me anyhow! No offence ment by the way!!;)

Originally posted by Jamie
... of the opposite sex.
Personally I find it very hard and kinda clam up ... but ...

Resisting the urge to make a lewd comment about it being hard...

Well, Jamie, play to your strengths. As you are a computer geek/games programmer you could try impressing them with your knowledge of hexadecimal arithmetic and object oriented programming. No? Well how about "The joystick is a sensitive piece of equipment. It has to be handled gently." (From the movie "Emily").

I don't think I'm being much help here am I!

GazB's second suggestion was better than his first I though ... so long as it comes across as natural and not like you're reading from a script.

If you're at a stage where you can do that ... just go up and say that ... that's great ... but not everyone can ... a lot of people would be just 'gripped' by fear and anxiety.

I think there is plenty of scope for non-verbal interaction before you start talking to the person ... smiling and such ... but maybe that's a cop-out !?.

It is a very interesting topic though and I hope this thread develops ... there was mention of attractive strangers last night in the chat room ... and I think it's a common problem that men (and also women) have ... how to get over the fear and approach them ...

I put more emphasis on men here ... because I think it's more expected of the man to do the approaching ... although that's not always what happens.

ps. stuff fashion ... just do what's right for you.

Originally posted by robh
... Well how about "The joystick is a sensitive piece of equipment. It has to be handled gently." (From the movie "Emily") ...

Class !!!! :-)

My dad always told me never to mention computers to women ... something like the following would happen:

Me: "Hi !!"

Her: "Well, what do you do for work?"

Me: "I am a computer programmer"

Her: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Me: "Wake up !!"

Her: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Look on the bright side, at least your not an accountant!!

I've always been tempted to walk up to a woman with a pre-printed crib card with a few chat up lines on it in very small print... and then try to read it out badly... like...

"So... do your.. I mean you.. come here over.. erm.. often?"

.. and then look up expectantly, handing her a card which says:

"Pick from the following:
- erm... who the ***** are you?
- yes and that's my boyfriend the rugy player behind you
- I'll have a [insert drink here]
- other (please specify)"


... and just see what happens... personally I'm giggling to myself at the thought of actually pulling something like that off.. :D

I think that's a pretty cool and fun idea Martin ... just make sure there isn't actually a real rugby player boyfriend hanging around somewhere if you try that one out !!

Probably more suited to a pub / club envirnoment than a chance encounter ...

"Pick from the following:
- erm... who the ***** are you?
- yes and that's my boyfriend the rugy player behind you
- I'll have a [insert drink here]
- other (please specify)"

Purple Ronnie used to do a postcard with options for a date like that. It went something like

Would you like to :

a) go out for a meal
b) get jiggly with me
c) run in the opposite direction

I bought it to send to someone years ago but lost my bottle:blush:

Merge Martin's idea with the Purple Ronnie postcard Jamie and I think you have a technique for any occasion ;)

Can't see it failing to work personally. Although that may be because I find it hard to resist a man who makes me laugh :D

A lonnnnng time ago I dragged a friend (she was very small) across the room whilst 'singing' Bolero to get a man's attention. So just be grateful I didn't spot any man in Brannigan's whose eye I wanted to catch PW :P

Originally posted by Jamie
... of the opposite sex.

Personally I find it very hard and kinda clam up ... but ...

Do you have a problem doing this !?

Do you have any secrets for success !?

Jamie you seem kinda preoccupied with thoughts of the opposite sex lately. Is it the time of year or something, you know sap rising and all that stuff?

Originally posted by Mo
Jamie you seem kinda preoccupied with thoughts of the opposite sex lately. Is it the time of year or something, you know sap rising and all that stuff?

Although not directed at me, that seems personal and irrelevant to this discussion. Nothing wrong with seeking advice to remedy the situation, Mo!

I didn't take it as being personal ... but then I don't know Mo.

I may be a little preoccupied with women ... but no more than usual I think ... and I was being pretty objective with the thread because there was talk on this subject in chat and I know I am not the only one who finds it hard to approach people ...

I just think it is a very interesting topic ... and would love to know other people's thoughts if they want to share them .......

Not sure what Mo means by 'rising sap' ... sounds a bit too rude for my innocent little ears.

I think it's time we had a Sheffield Forum romance. So....who fancies who? This is the time to tell and confess!

Originally posted by Classic Rock
I think it's time we had a Sheffield Forum romance. So....who fancies who? This is the time to tell and confess!
Ok... well that's sorted then... Buffy will henceforth be known as the Sheffield Cilla...

:P

Originally posted by Jamie

Not sure what Mo means by 'rising sap' ... sounds a bit too rude for my innocent little ears.

Not at all:

"In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love" -- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"The sap's rising". -- Old country saying denoting Spring

Nomme

Originally posted by Classic Rock
I think it's time we had a Sheffield Forum romance. So....who fancies who? This is the time to tell and confess!

I could maybe have a bit of a thing about Nomme :o :D

Originally posted by fuzzy
I could maybe have a bit of a thing about Nomme :o :D


The feeling is mutual.
:blush: :wink:

Nomme

I'd like to think I'm the inspiration for this topic be it a good thing or a bad thing. It all stems from me spotting one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen working on a computer opposite me at uni yesterday. I don't think I could ever go and talk to a girl in a situation like that, because a) I don't know her, so would just look stupid, b) I wouldn't have the courage and c) I was 99% certain she wouldn't be interested in me anyway. Also, surely such an attractive girl would already be taken?

I'd find it much easier to become friends with a girl first, at least then I know their personality and I'd have an idea if they felt the same way about me.

No crushes for anyone on the forum. Sorry to burst yer bubbly.

Relationships + forum = gossip. Too much hassle in my opinion. :rolleyes:

You are my inspiration Sidla ... well ... for this thread at least !!.

What you said in chat and also I've had the same thing happen to me (different girl though obviously) ...

I have had the same thoughts of 'she wouldn't be interested' ... and if you approach any situation expecting failure ... thats what you'll get ... likewise if you expect a good result ... you're more likely to get one.

She may actually not be taken ... *because* most guys assume that she already is ... and few have the guts to chat to her.

Finally ... what does it matter if she is ... or how she responds ... what is important is that you had the courage and made an effort and you expressed your interest in a friendly way ... that is all anyone can do ...

I know it's not at all easy ... I can't do it !! (but I am trying to improve).

Originally posted by Jamie
I didn't take it as being personal ... but then I don't know Mo.

I may be a little preoccupied with women ... but no more than usual I think ... and I was being pretty objective with the thread because there was talk on this subject in chat and I know I am not the only one who finds it hard to approach people ...

I just think it is a very interesting topic ... and would love to know other people's thoughts if they want to share them .......

Not sure what Mo means by 'rising sap' ... sounds a bit too rude for my innocent little ears.

It wasn't meant to be personal Jamie, just a bit of fun after all the talk about brothels :D

Originally posted by GazB
Well lucky for me that I already have a gorgeous girlfriend then eh? :)

Alternative to being cheesy is:

"Hi, I'm not normally one to just come up and chat to a girl I don't know, nor do I have any cheesy chat-up lines.. But I was wondering if you'd like to have a drink with me?"

Might work :?

Doubt it ...

Originally posted by Mo
It wasn't meant to be personal Jamie, just a bit of fun after all the talk about brothels :D

Cool ... I didn't think it was Mo *smiles*.

Just shows how the original meaning of a post can be interpreted in different ways ... which I think is often the cause of heated discussions on here (e.g. the brothels thread).

Back on topic ... can I ask what would you suggest Mo ... re: approaching an attractive stranger !?

Originally posted by fattybear
Doubt it ...

A better suggestion would be ........... ?

Originally posted by fattybear
Doubt it ...

Well you never do know. It's not original but if you smile and appear genuine you never know. If she's funny with you then she wasn't worth worrying about in the first place. ;)

The thing that stuck me about it ... was that you might come across as a bit unnatural as if you're reading from a prepared script or something.

Well it's not the way I'd go about it to be sure, but if you're honest an genuine well, like I said you never know.

Bottom line is you're asking someone if they'd like to have a drink with you. As long as you're not rude about it then why shouldn't they if they like the look of you. :)

Generally i just ask the lovely lady in question if she'd prefer a drink or a fight - most of them choose the drink, and bernards your uncle! :P


Dont try it in Doncaster though! :rolleyes:

Okay, I have thought about it and this is a serious reply.

It should work anywhere, in a noisy crowded place or in the library.

1. Catch their eye - from a bit of a distance away
2. Smile broadly and say hello (or mouthe it if it is a noisy place)
3. Then hold their eye for just a few seconds and slowly look away. But keeping a gentler smile on your face.

Just like you would if you saw someone from your street and wanted to acknowledge them pleasantly but without engaging them in chat.

The person you have just smiled at and said hello to will now be wondering where they know you from. They will be thinking you are a nice man/woman for having smiled and said hello in a friendly way and they will probably have to sneak a few looks at you to see if they can work out how they know you.

If they think you look like the world's biggest dork they will probably turn their chair round so they cant see you any more and so that you dont talk to them and they wont have to remember who you are.

In which case, you havent lost anything and you havent embarassed yourself.

If they think you look like their idea of a dream date they might even come over to find out how they know you. They wont ask of course, because that would mean admitting that they cant remember you. But you will be chatting and that is what you wanted

If they think you look quite nice and reasonably acceptable they will either come and talk to you or nudge their mate to see if s/he knows who you are.

Either of those would be fine because you have raised a level of interest without having to be embarrassed.

You can smile again on one of the next times they catch your eye

And who knows where it goes from there.

If a bloke smiled at me and said hello, I would be checking him out, no doubt about it.

But neither of us would have to be embarrassed, it says "approachable" but doesnt say "overbearing"

How does that sound?

Originally posted by Belle
Okay, I have thought about it and this is a serious reply.

.....

How does that sound?

Absolute genius - there may be hope for me yet :thumbsup:

Have to agree with rtapper ... that sounds ace Belle ...

Originally posted by Belle
1. Catch their eye - from a bit of a distance away
2. Smile broadly and say hello (or mouthe it if it is a noisy place)
3. Then hold their eye for just a few seconds and slowly look away. But keeping a gentler smile on your face.

Specially if you can do all that in an easy and natural manner.

I think smiling is defo a winner ... I used to go about with the assumption that girls just would not like me ... so would hardly ever smile at one ... but just recently I have smiled at one or two ... and I do get smiled back at.

What I really like about your suggestion Belle ... is that it puts no-one under any real pressure ... and both of you have a get out clause at every stage.

Just need to put it in to practice now !! *smiles*

Belle,
Are you care in the community or WHAT!

Originally posted by dragonsoup
Belle,
Are you care in the community or WHAT!

Yeah I thought that was pretty amazing too dragonsoup !!!

Thanks Belle :-) xx

ps. Belle ... can I hire you as a 'flirt coach' !?

Originally posted by caz2
Look on the bright side, at least your not an accountant!!

Don't this lot use their sense of humour as a contraceptive?

Originally posted by Jamie

Back on topic ... can I ask what would you suggest Mo ... re: approaching an attractive stranger !?

I wouldn't Jamie. Call me a coward but I have always preferred to know my men before I start dating them.

I have never approached a total stranger though thats not to say I don't look ;)

Anyway I don't think that with my track record I'm the best person to ask.

Belles advice sounded good but then you'd expect that if you took a look at her website
:D

Jamie-what can I say, advice you want is it? is that your foto in the avatar eh? Good looking lad ...but women dont really like men who fancy themselves too much and by admiring yourself (even if its looking at your avatar all the time) could be a tad offputting ) I suggest getting a broken nose and being a as ugly as a bucket of frogs like myself then youll be fighting off the girlies.

always good to make a move no matter how small - just enough for them to notice you as you'll see them again probably and it sets it up for some point in the future -

i think women like confident guys (not over confident) works for me anyhow

Originally posted by dragonsoup
Jamie-what can I say, advice you want is it? is that your foto in the avatar eh? Good looking lad ...but women dont really like men who fancy themselves too much and by admiring yourself (even if its looking at your avatar all the time) could be a tad offputting ) I suggest getting a broken nose and being a as ugly as a bucket of frogs like myself then youll be fighting off the girlies.

Thanks for the compliment and the free advice dragonsoup.

Actually quite agree with you on some points ... women don't like vain men.

Originally posted by dragonsoup
women dont really like men who fancy themselves too much



I dont like woman that also fancy themselves... you know the ones that are really pretty and know it...

But if they're really pretty and just natural with it ... that's great.

Originally posted by Belle
...
2. Smile broadly ...
Works especially well if you've blacked out a couple of your front teeth ;)

Jamie just go for it, worst you can get is a slap.

You wont know what could of been if you dont try...

Twas not meant to be unkind the comments I made hope you realise that. The person that commented about vain women was spot on I was behind a youngish woman the other day in the rush hour and all the way from Lodge Moor to Hunters bar instead of watching the road she was pouting and teasing her hair (someone needs to tell women that not all mirrors are for looking at yourself ) Anyway its better to be attractive than pretty attractive lasts forever the pretty ones seem to need a s*** load of make up when they get older

dragonsoup:

it's very easy to be misunderstood on here !!

personally ... i thought you made a LOT of sense (apart from the breaking nose and pulling teeth bit ... which i took as humor ... dude !! ... ur sense of humor is even worse that mine !!).

self absorbed and vain people are mostly not so attractive to the opposite sex ... i totally agree ... people like that are just focused on themsleves so they do not make make good candidates for relationships.

ideally no-one would be vain and we would all be friendly and just natural like ...