Having a few issues at work, and really not sure how to handle it!
I'm female and I sit with 6 blokes. It started out OK, we'd have a laugh about their views of women (should be home ironing/cleaning/cooking/all of the above), and everything was fine. They put some doctored pictures up of everyone in our team, doing different things, one was of me ironing. Not bothered by it. My manager told them to take the pictures down as they weren't sexist apart from the one of me, and it wasn't right. So they came down, and they thought someone had complained about them (namely me, which I didn't and they haven't said specifically they think it was me).
Since then they've been off with me, in fact 1 doesn't talk to me at all, which I know doesn't sound too bad, but he comes in and specifically says hello to each person already there and excludes me.

There are also a lot of snide comments from the one ignoring me. We have different managers, both of whom work in London, so don't see any of this going on. They think people are telling the managers what's going on and that they're not doing this and they're saying this that and the other, but i get the impression that they think it's me saying it. The main thing is if i was telling the manager this was going on, I'd expect the behaviour, but as I'm not actually saying anything I feel really annoyed and upset about it all.

I'm getting to the point where I don't want to go to work at all, and have started thinking about moving on.

What should I do, should I say something to management or should I try and ignore it some more?

Please help me, I'm getting desperate!

Don't worry to much about it. All things blow over with time and it's not worth letting people with narrow minds make you lose your job. Best thing is try to talk with open minded people and use this to get your point out. But I must say time will heal. And in 6 months some thing new will come up eg who used all the milk etc etc...

Confront them about it. Ask them why the cold looks etc.? Put them on the spot!

I worked in a similar situation years ago with 5 men (me being the only female) I took it all on the chin, all the jibes etc. Unfortunatley one day things went OTT. I was requested by my line manager to attend a leaving do in the pub one lunch time with all the men. I tried to get out of it but was fetched in the end.

They were all pretty drunk by the time I arrived and the end result was me being held by my arms while one unbuttoned my shirt and another slobbered all over my neck.

I left the pub, never told anyone apart from another guy who saw me working alone one Sunday looking troubled. He asked me to report it and I couldn't do it. I was young at the time.

Anyway I think they all felt quite bad about it and nothing was ever said again.

Don't let it simmer away. If it happened to me now I would speak out.

Don't stew in your own juice.

I know the group dynamics are difficult in a predominantly male environment (got several of those t-shirts), but once they take umbridge in a girly fashion :roll:, you either have to have it out, or leave quietly.

Blokes are far more direct than women, and subtle hints just don't work. Skirting around the subject will only make it worse.

I'm afraid you're just going to have to practice saying 'WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM' in front of the mirror, then make good use of it when the next snide comment is trotted out. Be prepared to take it on the chin though, and get the air cleared once and for all.


PS - I'd update your CV first though (as a plan B) ;)

why not ask openly who complained about the sexist pictures.
do it in a credible manner & then u can all sort out the underlying "grass" issue without any confrontation.

OK, I was off yesterday and I've come in today and all the desks have been moved around, which is great coz they're now further away. He's now put up a calendar so that if he looks over towards me, he can't see my face. It's just so annoying.
I want to say something, but I know exactly what I'm like, I'll end up crying, which will make me look well probably guilty, or just really sad and I don't want to get upset, but I know I will end up doing.

Anyone know of any decent jobs where there are women in the office, so I can move???

Anyone know of any decent jobs where there are women in the office, so I can move???
thats not the answer to your probs,to be honest if i was you then i would try to get to the bottom of this,the longer you leave it the worse it will get,so what ever you do dont cry,be confident and ask,good luck :)

He is either just a really pathetic guy or more likely a pathetic guy who actually fancies you!

Either way, if things are as bad as you say he should be dealt with as should all of them by their manager, who if they had anything about them would be aware that there is an issue.

That said, you need to either confront them yourself, or if you cannot, talk to your manager. If they do not address the issue after you have raised it and you are forced to leave, you may have a case for constructive dismissal (though I am not an expert by any means).

This is just a form of bullying and you shouldn't feel bad about complaining about it. How much worse can it get?

In the mean time, maybe you should put your own "calendar" up to obscure his view. A picture of an ar*e perhaps?

Originally posted by RenB21
Having a few issues at work, and really not sure how to handle it!
I'm female and I sit with 6 blokes. It started out OK, we'd have a laugh about their views of women (should be home ironing/cleaning/cooking/all of the above), and everything was fine. They put some doctored pictures up of everyone in our team, doing different things, one was of me ironing. Not bothered by it. My manager told them to take the pictures down as they weren't sexist apart from the one of me, and it wasn't right. So they came down, and they thought someone had complained about them (namely me, which I didn't and they haven't said specifically they think it was me).
Since then they've been off with me, in fact 1 doesn't talk to me at all, which I know doesn't sound too bad, but he comes in and specifically says hello to each person already there and excludes me.

There are also a lot of snide comments from the one ignoring me. We have different managers, both of whom work in London, so don't see any of this going on. They think people are telling the managers what's going on and that they're not doing this and they're saying this that and the other, but i get the impression that they think it's me saying it. The main thing is if i was telling the manager this was going on, I'd expect the behaviour, but as I'm not actually saying anything I feel really annoyed and upset about it all.

I'm getting to the point where I don't want to go to work at all, and have started thinking about moving on.

What should I do, should I say something to management or should I try and ignore it some more?

Please help me, I'm getting desperate!

This is a form of bullying see id you can get one of them to one side and ask what is going on and that you can detec an atmosphere, see if that gets a result. If not send for me and i will sort it. Would be my pleasure as i hate any form of bullying. I have been the target of in the past.

Hello -

Why not try speaking to the manager who instructed that they should be taken down and getting her to explain in the team meeting that no one complained and that it was just her decision as they didnt look professional in the office?

Otherwise, she could have a quiet word with the person concerned to ask why hes behaving like this & straighten him out.

I was a manager in an office and people didnt worry about things like this on their own, they used to confide in me and leave me to sort out the disharmony by having a word with difficult individuals. often just bringing it to their attention via a manager is enough to get them to behave, as they think that they are not creating a good team atmosphere if they are being difficult. This can actually form part of individuals objective and targets - to improve relationships with other team members and manage attitude.

If things dont improve, you can always contact HR but its better to have spoken to an immediate manager first.

sorry if ive gone on a bit.