Anybody got any ideas?

We don't want a wedding list, as we've lived together for a while and have house stuff already. We certainly don't want money, as we would feel strange about it, and don't want to put people in an arkward situation.

We wanted to give people options for donating to various charities and good causes instead, but our families reacted really strongly against that option, saying that people would want to give us gifts.

Help!


(110 guests for main thing; another 100 for night-time do)

ask for x-box 360's and donate them to me;)

A friend of mine had a similar situation a couple of years ago.
In the end, their wedding invites made it very clear they'd been living together for a while and had most necessities, however they provided a wedding list of 'luxuries' they could make use of, but also made it plain that they would rather people donated to one particular charity of the couple's choice.

And congrats on the getting-married thing if that's in order!

i think the good gift's company and oxfam can do lists of specific things that help people from books for children in hostals to goats for people in the developing world.

or how about everyone contributing towards a holiday of your choosing or vouchers for a travel agents.

Originally posted by TheRedWizard

We wanted to give people options for donating to various charities and good causes instead, but our families reacted really strongly against that option, saying that people would want to give us gifts.


Your wedding, up to you.

I think it is admirable that you would prefer money be given to charity than receive gifts yourself, surely giving a gift is about what it means to the person who receives it not about how good it makes you feel.

From the experience at my friend's wedding and chatting to other guests, the general feeling was that it was an admirable, popular idea. People can always buy you a gift AND make a donation to your charity if they feel like it, but no one was even remotely upset/offended that the couple didn't really wish/have the need to receive gifts themselves.

ask for cash donations - then you can give it to charity

Originally posted by TheRedWizard
Anybody got any ideas?


We wanted to give people options for donating to various charities and good causes instead, but our families reacted really strongly against that option, saying that people would want to give us gifts.

Help!

My advice would be to set up a Bank Account accessible only by you and your wife, for the purposes of paying the Gift Donations into it. Have this handled by a trusted relative until all donations have been judged to have been received and paid in and accounted for. Ask the trusted relative not to disclose individual amounts received, except to you and your wife, no-one else.
In due course, select the charities wisely...look carefully at how their net contributions compare with the overheads they take out for Administration Charges, salaries for the main organisers, top staff etc, and then make a wise donation or donations.
I think your idea is a great one.....but don't expect all to live up to their pledges.

If you haven't already planned a buffet or similar for the evening do, then ask each person to cook their favourite food and bring a bottle.

Our friends were married and everyone at the wedding did the catering. It was great, a fantastic variety of food and drink that kept us going until the next day.

Saying that though, we stated that we didn't want gifts point blank and received the same argument. Most complied but we did both get a real cuban cigar from a couple who had returned form cuba! :thumbsup:

Is there naything in your home that needs decorating etc.? Ask them to donate thier time.

gift vouchers for a honeymoon perhaps?

let the guests decide dont have a list or say you,d rather have cash let those who are giving you the present decide. just enjoy the day . sort things out after

Just let people buy gifts as they please. If they ask for suggestions, provide these. When I have to find something very specific from a wedding list it drives me crazy as the shops I go to often havent got it etc.

We dont have a list at birthdays, etc. So why not rely on spontineity? Have a few surprises?

Do you have a garden? You could ask for things for your garden ... eg tools, shrubs, planters, furniture...

Why be traditional and stick to household goods or even the modern traditional thing of travel vouchers? You could ask for CDs, DVDs, books and so on, maybe adding in a few box sets you've always wanted for those who want to splash out on fancier gifts? Long as it's all stuff you both like, I'd think that was a cool idea. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by alysonpeach
Just let people buy gifts as they please. If they ask for suggestions, provide these.

I agree. Let people do as they so choose. Just be grateful for anything you get. It's your day but accept that friends really want to contribute without being told what do do. You could always flog unwanted gifts on Ebay and donate the money to charity. Just enjoy it and allow them to enjoy it too !

We had our wedding list at a travel agent's and the honeymoon was sorted. Mopst people thought this was an excellent idea and complied.

Those who didn't want to do this contributed to the list at the Centre for Alternative Technology. Four years later, once settled in our house, we were able to choose the items, mostly books, that we needed to pursue our goals of growing our own fruit and veg. Oh, and a paint your own bird house!

Those who insisted on buying a gift bought a gift. And it's now broken.

Let us know how it pans out...

We recently had this dilemma. I hate wedding lists, they just look too pushy, but I had to concede that as a guest at a cousin's wedding the previous year, I found the idea really helpful

We decided to just put the essentials on that we would have if we hadn't been together ages - as our pans and towels were due for repacement anyway, and some matching cutlery was getting a bit essential :blush:

We had to have a gift list service as we were getting married in Scotland, and didn't want people to be struggling with boxes of glasses on planes and trains :P

Some people still chose their own gifts, many bought us vouchers from the store we had our list at (smooths nap on new sofa), but one friend exploded 'I'm sorry, but your wedding list was boring, so I got you this instead' :hihi:

Let your guests enjoy the day their way ;)

I'm getting married in September and we're in the same situation - we've both lived on our own too so we have two of most things!!

We've decided to ask our guests to contribute to our honeymoon so we can can have an amazing holiday - we'd never be able to afford it otherwise.

Ask for £10 Thomas cook Vouchers.

That would be one nice holiday!!!

If you don't mind which charities are donated to, many of them have gifts which can be bought on your behalf such as water purification tablets, goats, mosquito nets and things like that.

This way people are buying a gift and the charity benefits.

I had this problem last year. My partner and I had everything we wanted, we didn't want money.

The thing is, people will want to buy you something. So my advice is make a small list of things you really do want. There is also someting you can replace at home. This is better than getting things that you don't want or need. Give your guests some ideas, it is very difficult for them. Without help, they get frustrated and buy anything just before closing time after running around John Lewis's for five hours. And you get frustrated because the bedding bought as a result is vile.

Friends of mine had a better solution, which is placed above. They wanted to go to Cuba on holiday. Instead of people giving them the money (as they would have been embarassed) they arranged with the travel agents that guests could pay in to a special "Honeymoon account".