Im becoming very annoyed at one person after another telling me that they can't understand why I'm still single. I have been for several years. But that hasn't been through personal choice.

My friends and family have recommended people but they all seem innapropriate.
Remember the analogy of men to toilets ladies?? (all the decent ones are taken by someone else, full of ****, or disabled (not necc. physically).

I happen to think there is a severe drought of decent sensible honest down to earth funny men in Sheffield.

I'm 28 single (v attractive so I'm told) asian female, how on earth am I supposed to meet mr right? In asian years I'm getting pretty old.
What do I do?.......................

You mention "arranged".
Is your search limited with regard to ethnic origins?
Where do you currently meet men? At work, through friends, going out?

Originally posted by cgksheff
You mention "arranged".
Is your search limited with regard to ethnic origins?
Where do you currently meet men? At work, through friends, going out?

I am seeking an alternative to the traditional way of being introduced to people, i.e by family and friends (this is not Im told limited to certain ethnic communities) and is often reffered to as 'arranged marriages' in some communities.
I would rather find someone on my own terms, and yes my family are fine about this.
'Arranged' is not limited to ethnic origins, however I would like to meet someone with similar interests etc.

My friends have introduced me to people but we didn't 'click'. Ive met a few people on the internet but most of them freaked me out a little.
Men don't approach me when I'm out, I have a theory that Im either very intimidating or they think I'm taken!

I'm wondering if there is anyone in sheffield in the same boat?

are asian years like dog years?

Seriously, stop waiting for your family to do the recommending (infact, ignore whatever they say) and do the normal dating people you like thing. You must meet the ocassional nice guy at work, or at get togethers for whatever hobbies you have.
Failing that, slimsid will take you out on a date.

robbie lovin will be like a rat up a drain pipe on this thread any minute now:hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

I think that if you have your family on side about you having more choice in the matter then you have won half of the battle!

I don't disagree with arranged marriages on the whole as they do have the tendancy to work if both people are not abusing the situation.

Maybe you are happy as you are at the moment and this is fine. Maybe you are spoilt for choice which can be a problem in itself.

I'm sure there would be lots of men willing to take you out, from your culture or otherwise but taking you out and marriage would be seperate issues for men from another culture who didn't know the expectations. I do think that family and friends are a good judge though, especially combined in their approach. You could be totally bowled over by someone and everyone else think they are unsuitable. In that case they would more often than not, be right.

I would think that 28 is a good age to start looking a little more seriously as you are nearly out of the terrible 20's stage where I think most people have their dissapointments in relationships and end up with messy relationships. You will be a little more chilled about it all as time goes on and know more about what you like.

I do have to say though that I think the secret of finding a good partner is finding out more about what you are willing to put up with as there is no such thing as a perfect man or woman. It's what you can tolerate and live with that counts and the looks fade over the years so try not to be tempted by that alone.

Good Luck, I'm sure you will have too many offers to cope with from the forum within a couple of days.

Originally posted by shararti
I'm wondering if there is anyone in sheffield in the same boat?

Hi Shararti, I'm the Queen of blind dates (guys introduced through my parents).

My parents have actively been pushing guys onto me for nearly 4 years now (I'm 25). They think I should be married by now. Having met around 40 guys from my community without feeling a "click" with a single guy, I'm getting extremely annoyed with the whole thing. Yet they keep on pushing! I've moved away from home (South to North) yet does that stop them, NO!

My problem is that my parents are keen for me to marry (note marry not date) a guy from the same indian community. I am quite limited but not THAT limited, if that makes sense, seeing as I have already met around 40 guys.

I wouldn't go for a guy that's not from a smilar background, I really couldn't hurt my parents like that. I think you are extremely lucky that your family don't think like that.

A few people have made some comments about not agreeing with arranged marriages. Yes there are some girls who are FORCED into marrying a guy they barely know. However for me and other girls in my community, its more like an APPROVED marriage. Where you are introduced to guys from your community through family and friends. You meet them, date for a while before deciding to tie the knot, or NOT. For us, marriage isn't only about two people coming together but also two families.

Anyway, I'm in the same boat as you Shararti, single, with people continuously asking me when I'm getting hitched.... :loopy:

Originally posted by shararti
Im becoming very annoyed at one person after another telling me that they can't understand why I'm still single. I have been for several years. But that hasn't been through personal choice.

My friends and family have recommended people but they all seem innapropriate.
Remember the analogy of men to toilets ladies?? (all the decent ones are taken by someone else, full of ****, or disabled (not necc. physically).

Thats hardly a female only thing (either the problem or the analogy!) I'm in much the same position - my female friends keep telling me how attractive, considerate, smart, caring, funny etc. I am and how they can't understand why I haven't been 'snapped up'. However it seems that once you hit a certain age the traditional ways of meeting people seem to fall apart. I certainly don't want to pick someone up in a bar/nightclub for a one night stand and all my friends (and their friends) are attached or married. Hence I suppose people turn to agencies and dating sites - have you tried any of those?

How does that saying go? something along the lines - "if you don't like the catch change the bait".

Are you just being introduced to guys from around Sheffield?

What about trying an Asian dating agency? :)

Originally posted by shararti
My friends and family have recommended people but they all seem innapropriate.
Remember the analogy of men to toilets ladies?? (all the decent ones are taken by someone else, full of ****, or disabled (not necc. physically).

I happen to think there is a severe drought of decent sensible honest down to earth funny men in Sheffield.



I can't understand why a disability would rule a chap out?

I have a disability, (White British female, here, btw) and so does my fella, and we're decent enough, intelligent people who have a (IMO) quite successful relationship.

I didn't marry until I was 29, and my ex husband also has a disability, (Mild Cerebral Palsy) He was also a decent enough intelligent person.

Whilst I would say "yeah, you want the best chap that you can get", do you think that you might be being a bit *too* picky?

PT

I can't understand why a disability would rule a chap out?

It's just one of those jokes isn't it, I don't think anything is implied. If anything it suggests the men to be mentally disabled and not in the PC way, but just them being emotionally challenged. I've met a few of those. And there are probably some men who think the same of me.

I don't think she's being too picky. The title of the post is talking marriage which is still a pretty serious decision despite the ease of divorce these days.

Shararti you've got time yet. I used to work with an asian woman and she was over 30 by the time she found a man that she actually felt she could get along with and that her parents approved of aswell. And if your parents are okay with *you* choosing it makes it easier.

I tend to meet people in unconventional ways - not through the usual friends/clubs/dating outlets but in the street, in shops, in cinemas - just getting chatting to random strangers. Not quite sure how it happens and not sure I'd recommend it either but it always amazes me how you can just chat to someone in a friendly way and next thing you know (an hour later) you're being asked on a date. Maybe I talk so much they get hypnotised into it...

The comment on 'disability' refers to Men's often 'Emotionally challenging behaviour' or 'mental state' and not a physical disability, Im sorry if anyone misinterpreted the joke .

Also I have only been introduced to around 5 people! Spice you lucky gal 40 introductions,Im envious!!
I dont think Ive been picky, however most of the ones I met on the internet dating/matrimonial sites wanted a 'bit of fun'.

Well, if I were ten years younger...:bigsmile:

I would be more than happy to take u out:thumbsup:

If worst comes to worst

try

shaadi.com

lol

Originally posted by THE_ONE
If worst comes to worst

try

shaadi.com

lol

surely you mean shoddy.com :suspect:

lol

"aapka shaadi shudda heh?"

PT

Originally posted by mattyuk1
I would be more than happy to take u out:thumbsup:

What are your qualities that Shararti would find appealing?