I just got an email from my ex-girlfriend, saying, essentially: sorry for screwing you over and dumping you for someone else.

Found it really hard to reply, because I simply couldn't raise any feeling about it at all - a few months ago or even last week I'd have had my heart pounding and.. would probably have told her to go f*** herself, or had some sort of emotional outpouring. But I couldn't do either of those - didn't see any particular reason to forgive her either and I'm not into the whole 'lets be friends' thing, but I didn't feel that strongly about it.

Just found that wierd... is this what being 'over' someone feels like? Or am I just dead inside? :|

Originally posted by Crayfish
I
Just found that wierd... is this what being 'over' someone feels like? Or am I just dead inside? :|


a bit of both mate welcome to the real world but the good news
is theres plenty more fish in the sea so cast your net and go
and land 1 :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Crayfish
I just got an email from my ex-girlfriend, saying, essentially: sorry for screwing you over and dumping you for someone else.

Found it really hard to reply, because I simply couldn't raise any feeling about it at all - a few months ago or even last week I'd have had my heart pounding and.. would probably have told her to go f*** herself, or had some sort of emotional outpouring. But I couldn't do either of those - didn't see any particular reason to forgive her either and I'm not into the whole 'lets be friends' thing, but I didn't feel that strongly about it.

Just found that wierd... is this what being 'over' someone feels like? Or am I just dead inside? :| she will have a reason for contacting you.......i bet she wants something

Ha, I thought that. But no, I think it was just to relieve some guilt.. to be fair she wasn't generally a bad person by any means (wouldn't have gone out with her for 2 years if she was).

It'll defo be a guilt thing - speaking from experience...

Have you still got one of her records she wants back?

Nope. I've got bugger all from her actually - was thinking about that, she's got loads of jewellery and I've got nowt.. Oh well.

She pregnant by any chance?

Originally posted by depoix
she will have a reason for contacting you.......i bet she wants something

She's prob been dumped herself

i'm kind of going through the same thing, sort of... my wife and partner of 10 1/2 years left me about two months ago saying she didn't love me anymore., and i have my suspicions as to whether or not there was another party invloved.

i've now got to the point where if she came back, and nothing had happened, and that she was very screwed up i couldn't take her back. what was there is just gone (for want of a better word). i can't say i didn't love her, because i did, like crazy, but it is now all those feelings seem lost. i guess we all move on it is just a question of how and when.

your ex was probably lonely, it isn't until you have lost something forever that you really realise what you had. it is just a shame that so many people make this mistake in life.

there is never really any going back, only forward, who knows what the future holds.

just make sure that you don't go fishing with a net because thats just greedy as there are lots of us out there trying to catch our dreams.

Originally posted by Crayfish
I just got an email from my ex-girlfriend, saying, essentially: sorry for screwing you over and dumping you for someone else.

Found it really hard to reply, because I simply couldn't raise any feeling about it at all - a few months ago or even last week I'd have had my heart pounding and.. would probably have told her to go f*** herself, or had some sort of emotional outpouring. But I couldn't do either of those - didn't see any particular reason to forgive her either and I'm not into the whole 'lets be friends' thing, but I didn't feel that strongly about it.

Just found that wierd... is this what being 'over' someone feels like? Or am I just dead inside? :|


This all means that you're over her mate.

As the great song goes- let it be!

I say lifes too short, if your single give her another try. If it f***s up again, so what!!! In 80 years who'll give a damn.

She may want more than friendship, who knows or dares to dream. The other dude may have turned out to be the nightmare you wasn't.

Go for it!!!

:) Thanks

No, I think she's happy with who she's with now (at the moment, at least). She just felt guilty and I daresay might even regret it a little bit... the guy she's going out with is into all the things I never was - he hangs around with her group of friends, goes to clubs several times a week and as far as I know has no particular hopes and dreams.. all the things she did in 'the good old days'. I don't think it's the sort of thing that can keep someone interested forever though and maybe she's starting to realise that already.

Like a couple of people have said, there are plenty more fish in the sea (around 500 million if you're straight and want someone who's a similar age and speaks the same language, I believe). And variety is the spice of life - maybe having several long term partners can let you experience more sides of life and make you a more rounded person than sticking with just one.

It's strange though as livestrong says, to be with someone for so long - and 10 years is really a long time - then with a bit of time apart realise that what you had maybe wasn't as special and important as you thought it was.

Good luck for the future livestrong, and happy fishing :)

What is it with Women and the New Year? Out with the old, in with the new?!?! Going through the same thing mate, only mine didn't so amicably…

Ending of my relationship... (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81313)

Are there really that many women out there? Well, lets hope we all find a decent one next time around!!!

:clap:

Originally posted by IanMitchell
This all means that you're over her mate.

As the great song goes- let it be!

I'd say Ian's spot-on.

Sounds like you're well and truly over her.

Move on!

StarSparkle

I had the same kind of phone call the other night from an ex who I went out with a year ago, he said how sorry he was and how much he missed me. And then I asked why he was calling and he said something along the lines of ''I don't know, it just makes me feel better getting it off my chest''

So it didnt matter that he was calling me at 2am, bringing horrible memories back, it made him feel great :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Crayfish
I just got an email from my ex-girlfriend, saying, essentially: sorry for screwing you over and dumping you for someone else.

Found it really hard to reply, because I simply couldn't raise any feeling about it at all - a few months ago or even last week I'd have had my heart pounding and.. would probably have told her to go f*** herself, or had some sort of emotional outpouring. But I couldn't do either of those - didn't see any particular reason to forgive her either and I'm not into the whole 'lets be friends' thing, but I didn't feel that strongly about it.

Just found that wierd... is this what being 'over' someone feels like? Or am I just dead inside? :|

quite jealous, not quite at that stage yet. just delete it and have fun :thumbsup:

I think you might be over her :) :clap:
I've not had much to test me (such as the email you received) but I still get a twinge now and again... But I just cast my mind back to a few months ago and remember the hurt and upset, whenever I feel myself reminiscing, or hear a song/see a photo...

My way has been to block it all out and so far its worked :) Glad you're moving on :thumbsup:

Originally posted by caprice
I think you might be over her :) :clap:
I've not had much to test me (such as the email you received) but I still get a twinge now and again... But I just cast my mind back to a few months ago and remember the hurt and upset, whenever I feel myself reminiscing, or hear a song/see a photo...

My way has been to block it all out and so far its worked :) Glad you're moving on :thumbsup:

I'm the same Caprice, you can't think about it too much cos you'll get upset, so if you just remember the bad things - you'll remember why you split up in the first place.

Maybe it's not guilt, so much as wanting to apologise?

In which case, you could maybe be graceful and accept the apology. Along the lines of, Thanks for saying that, I appreciate it. It's a real shame that we didn't work out, we had some good times. I wish you all the best for the future! xx

:)

Originally posted by x_Sunshine_x
I'm the same Caprice, you can't think about it too much cos you'll get upset, so if you just remember the bad things - you'll remember why you split up in the first place.

Yep! I certainly don't practice what I preach... When my friends have been upset, we've talked over it and they've felt better... I just can't do that. Keeping myself busy and not allowing myself to think about it has helped me the most. I did talk to my best mate at uni, but I just got upset and she thought that I'd been doing much better myself without talking about it! :loopy: She's right though!

My other mates were insistant that I did the re-bound... so I did and it worked lol! (Not that I'm advising it... Its not really me...) *hangs head in shame* But I'd certainly stand by the idea of taking your mind off it in as many ways as possible ;) hehe

Originally posted by caprice
But I'd certainly stand by the idea of taking your mind off it in as many ways as possible ;) hehe

ladies who have recently been dumped, please form a line :hihi:

Me first! :D lol :hihi: :heyhey:

How about ladies who have dumped but still got upset about it? :rolleyes:

Originally posted by x_Sunshine_x
How about ladies who have dumped but still got upset about it? :rolleyes:

he'll probably tell you to form another line just to the left

Originally posted by SpeedwayDan
he'll probably tell you to form another line just to the left

and thats the line I'd be in! :P
(Is it first come, first served, Preach honey? ) :heyhey:

he's probably got a ticket system like argos

you could maybe be graceful and accept the apology along the lines of 'Thanks for saying that, I appreciate it. It's a real shame that we didn't work out, we had some good times. I wish you all the best for the future! xx'

I did reply and it wasn't quite that friendly but I didn't have a go either.. not really my style. I kept it fairly neutral but did say I'd had some good times, wished her the best for the future and said I wouldn't forget it (but wouldn't forget how it ended either).

I think anger helped at first but staying angry for this long would be silly... easier to let go.

Wish I could just say form a line :) Didn't know it could be that easy!

Originally posted by Crayfish


I think anger helped at first but staying angry for this long would be silly... easier to let go.

Wish I could just say form a line :) Didn't know it could be that easy!

Absolutely! :thumbsup: I was red hot bubbling with anger for about a week... Very emotional, very firey and very clingy to people around me... Not usually my style... I had so much I wanted to say to the guilty party... :rant: But calm has washed over me and I've realised that I was silly to waste a second longer stewing over what had happened. Thats more Caprice-like than blood-boiling, b*tch-slapping anger! lol :hihi:

and as for forming the line... thats Preach being a cheeky beggar as per :P But like I said, I stand by the idea that one should try and take their mind off the situation... :P hehe

Well done on the email too :) Succinct and neutral... Nothing that she could possibly read too much into if it was regret she was feeling... :thumbsup:

That sounds exactly like my experience :) When I first found out she was seeing someone else (read her emails) I think I threatened to kill her boyfriend... a week or two later I just felt silly saying that! And I wouldn't unless he had happened to be around for that half hour :D

Might have to look into this taking my mind off it lark :D Sounds intriguing!

I didn't really want to give her either of the answers she was looking for to be honest - tell her to F off and she'd write me off as a doobar and feel justified, forgiving her would make her feel better... so just in the middle was actually the most evil thing I could do I think :) Hurray!

to borrow a comment from a good friend of mine

"of course she will feel lonely, everything is still very new, but there is more to love than just a mere presence to fill the void of being alone. i really feel that sometimes people need to be alone to get to know themselves and become comfortable with who they really are"

i couldn't have really said it better myself, my ex is now feeling incredibly alone, but then again some people must hit rock bottom before they can get on with their lives, to discover who they really are. i would very much doubt whether she really knows what she wants, it is more the fear of being alone which is driving her emotions. the fact is some people make decisions in life from which there is no going back, in time they have to learn to live with that.

as for my situation, i can forgive my ex for everything as i can see what events in her life lead her to behave the way she did. the one thing i can't forgive her of though is the fact that she married me knowing full well how i viewed marriage. and to be honest, now we have had the time apart i can see that i wasn't being true to myself either and i could never see us back together. when you go through a break up it changes you as a person, your perspective on life can change dramatically, you can never go back only forward.

do not look into the past for what you have lost... look to the future for what you have not yet found...

Originally posted by livestrong
do not look into the past for what you have lost... look to the future for what you have not yet found...

What a fabulous quote, Livestrong.

I'm half-tempted to ask you if I can pinch it for my signature!

StarSparkle :)

What a fabulous post all round! Very apt sentiments, I was touched by that. Be true to yourself, always - it might not be the quickest way to happiness but if I can look back at my life when I'm 70 (or 20030, with any luck) and say I've always done what I believed to be right and lived to my own morality, I'll be happy then.

i seem to be coming up with loads of them at the moment, my blog has taken the place of what was my best friend since my wife "changed" for want of a better word. i am feeling particularly inspired at the moment. life changing events do that i guess.

anyway, if you fancy reading any more checkout my website. if you want to use if for the signature please quote it as being from the website as i may write a book some day in the future. something involving inspirational writing and images that stir the soul.

sorry i also forgot to add that my inspiration to keep going through everything has been a little yellow band with a simple yet powerful message.

"livestrong"

thank you lance

Originally posted by livestrong
i seem to be coming up with loads of them at the moment, my blog has taken the place of what was my best friend since my wife "changed" for want of a better word. i am feeling particularly inspired at the moment. life changing events do that i guess.

anyway, if you fancy reading any more checkout my website. if you want to use if for the signature please quote it as being from the website as i may write a book some day in the future. something involving inspirational writing and images that stir the soul.

I very much look forward to reading your book some day. :thumbsup:

If your posts are anything to go by, it should be inspirational.

Soul food - the world needs as much of it as it can get.

Good Luck

StarSparkle :)

Well, that was nice... just sent me a nice email and I sent one back. Feel a lot better now actually for some reason. Maybe forgiving really is letting go? I don't know. I can recommend it though.