Located on Hickmott Road, PFB surely has the most cosmopolitan name of any takeaway ever. Unfortunately, instead of chasing the opportunities that this monicker affords them, by being different, new and edgy, they have gone down the route of: "let's stick a huge rotating trunk of donner meat behind the counter to entice people in as the patterns of fluorescent light dance upon it's greasy surface and hypnotise them..."

NO! You are a FISH Bar. Not a Donner Bar. Two Steps has gone down this route, and there is no way that either of your establishments will ever come close to the standards of Elif. They've perfected it. You don't see them buying in Pukka Pies and Scampi. They don't need to.

Fear not though: You have a chance to set yourself apart from other takeaways in the area. And the clue's in your name. The Paris Fish Bar. The cosmopolitan snack for the young professional. Imagine graphic designers coming in after a hard day networking in Nonnas. They could pick up a Paris Fish Bar before perusing the new nu-disco selection in Lowlife, or on their way to Another Fine Mess for a night out with all the other upwardly mobile beautiful people.

I've included a picture of a Paris Fish Bar. If you would like to use it, Paris (Fish Bar), please do get in touch and we can negotiate some kind of royalty agreement.
Thanks, Stef.
http://homepage.mac.com/sjanusz/fish.htm

as a fairly new resident to S11. I have only visited the Paris Fish Bar on one occasion. I found the chips to be rather tasty and I also ordered a battered sausage, which wasn't bad.

I agree chip shops should not sell donners, but there is no reason why Elif's shouldn't improve the standard of it's chips. I had them last night and they were dry and chewy.

Cheers.

Actually you've got a point there special_dave, Elif's chips aren't all that. Neither is their pizza. Not even their donner pizza, ironically, a better version of which can be found at Yummy Hut. So ghetto.

Anyway, since the Paris Fish Bar mark one, I've come up with another fish bar. It's called the Paris Fish Bar Ice. Instead of any old re-constituted piscatory matter in the middle bit, you could have a fish finger. Lovely and cool in the summer. You could also sell them chilled instead of frozen for the sushi crowd, and maybe wrap them in seaweed.

def stef it is hammond.

I don't know why I've been logged in as Special_dave.

The summer idea sounds great. Although nothing beats licking the breadcrumbs off fishfingers, whatever the time of year.

Let's face it, Two Steps, Paris Fish Bar, Elif, Yummy Hut etc etc specialise in low quality, unhealthy fast food that is ideal for pissheads and people with few culinary skills.

None of them are any good really.

Originally posted by Agent Gypo
Let's face it, Two Steps, Paris Fish Bar, Elif, Yummy Hut etc etc specialise in low quality, unhealthy fast food that is ideal for pissheads and people with few culinary skills.

None of them are any good really.

Wrong Agent (Gypo), as can be quite clearly seen from numerous other threads (I can't be bothered to list them), many a foody and connoisseur have been swayed by the delights of Elif. Simply the best kebab ever in the world. And it's the one thing that even culinary experts can't fabricate in their kitchens (donner meat only in kebabs you losers, if it's a "chicken kebab" then it just ain't a kebab. It's merely some pieces of chicken in a bit of bread. It's a sandwich!). Anyway, what was I talking about?

Yes, the fish bar. Have you not looked at my design? "Low quality"? Tell me how shrimp and parsley nougat and horse dripping are low quality ingredients, you (Agent) Gypo?

Anyway, since the Paris Fish Bar Ice, I've come up with a new design: The Paris Fish Bar Rice Crispies. This advance on the sushi concept of the 'Ice (with the rice), extending it to a nutritious cereal (in that the rice is crispy).

Originally posted by Agent Gypo
Let's face it, Two Steps, Paris Fish Bar, Elif, Yummy Hut etc etc specialise in low quality, unhealthy fast food that is ideal for pissheads and people with few culinary skills.

None of them are any good really.

I assume that you haven't been to Elif. It really is very good - they make their own bread and everything.

yo stef it's cragg i have to side with you - elif does rock the ball park. but you should sample their chicken kebab you prejudiced swine, it's marinaded in some sort of fine herbs (possibly spices too, i don't know as i'm not the colonel) then cooked in some sort of heat (again, see press for details) until it's as fine as may wine.

re the paris fish bar ideas mk 1 to 3 - perhaps we could meet up to see where my brainwave of Future Jam could fit in? i'm thinking it could be supplied in small pots (much like elif's chilli and/or garlic sauces) which the hurried, snacking denizens of hunters bar & surrounding areas could dip their fish bars (of whatever flavour) into. just think... mmmm.

anyway, get in touch with my creative design team (CDT) if you are interested - they're situated in the DQ and will be stroking their beards till 1900 hrs tonight.

over & out.

Also, what's with the massive blue neon light they've installed in the Paris Fish Bar? Is it to make it look like some sort of futuristic discotheque, or to stop smackheads jacking up in there? I just can't work it out.. :shakes:

Elif? Delights? Are you mad? It's ok at best, but that's it.

I've had the misfortune to eat at the Paris Fish Bar, lets just say I wont be going back.

I think the neon lights are there to help prevent the intraveinous ingestion of the Paris Fish Bar's delights. Everyone's had a 'weak' moment when the thought of stuffing a chip butty into your vein has been too much to take.

Thank the lord for these Parisian's who've taken this extra safety precaution in an attempt to control the rising number of sharrow residents addicted to injecting fish cakes.

Props to Elif too. They've created a kebab that even my ma doesn't turn her nose up at (and she's very fussy when it comes to notions of meat).

Bad as crisps.

Elifs do the BEST chicken kebabs.The salad is olive oil drizzled and is fantastic on its own , i often have just salad in pitta bread cos its that nice!

def stef you have unveiled your lack of kebab knowledge to the world, for it is not the meat which makes it a kebab it is the fact it is cooked on a skewer, chicken kebabs are far more tastier too....

Originally posted by magic_rat
def stef you have unveiled your lack of kebab knowledge to the world, for it is not the meat which makes it a kebab it is the fact it is cooked on a skewer, chicken kebabs are far more tastier too....

I concede to your *proper* definition (although the Oxford dictionary definition also allows for meat cooked on a spit as well as a skewer, as in the vertical case of a rotating donner trunk). I just think that 'kebab' should by default refer to a donner, for reasons I can't quite explain. Fish kebabs, too, are lovely.

Incidentally, Jannath off West Street do what they term a "mix kebab". Their wares differ from those offered by Elif (Turkish in orgin) or other kebab houses (which might be Greek or otherwise balkan) in that they originate from Northern India and Pakistan. The "mix kebab" dish consists of a highly spicy sheekh kebab (a spicy sausage made of lamb), a shami kebab (a burger-like patty, which doesn't look like it has ever been on a skewer or spit) and an onion bhaji.

While I totally agree with magic_rat, does anoyone know why these "kebabs" (especially the shami) are rightfully kebabs?

UNOFFICIAL THREAD MEET:

Anyone want to go to Elif and have a kebab this Saturday (7th) at 7pm? Jim, get tha mam down (my mum loves their babs too). Then we can all go the lezzie & get smashed...

(edit) wasn't sure if it's Cragg's mam who's partial to the kebabs or Jims. Either way, s'all goood...

bad as garlic & chilli :thumbsup:

May I suggest this film to you Def Stef? Seems to me to be right up your kebab shop lined street......

TERRORISM AND THE KEBAB is a farce denouncing the absurdity of bureaucracy in modern Egypt. Adel Imam, Egypt's leading comic actor, is a father who wants to move his son to a school closer to home. He goes to El-Mugamaa, the center of Cairo's monolithic bureaucracy, to pick up the required documents. Frustrated by the lack of response, he ends up attacking a fundamentalist official and, when armed police respond to the situation, a machine gun accidentally finds its way into Imam's hands.

As a terrorist, his demands to the Minister of Internal Affairs are simple: Shish Kebab made of high-class lamb. After having a hearty meal with his hostages, however, his demands become more political.

Please note this is not in anyway an inticement of terrorism

This truly is absurd, miss Bee. Have you contacted Imam's agents?

I went there once. It's absolute ****e. The Chicken kebab meat even tasted undercooked.
Elifs does the best Kebabs and Two Steps does better fish and chips.
Hence I can't see PFB lasting very long at all.

does anyone on here know what the blue light in the window is for?
is it supposed to entice you in? to me it looks like someone's filming an
episode of 'silent witness' in there and amanda burton is busy dissecting a
dead hunk of animal flesh to find out how it was murdered.....was it the crazed kebab killer of hunters bar....the place doesnt make me wanna eat anything i gotta be honest

well, i had some right crap from there over xmas...

but i did try it again, and the chips were good.

i even got amanda's autograph and everything it were greet:)

who does best chips in sheffield?

i would say it depends on the age of the batch, how theyre cooked...

i reckon Harry's does a good lot, two-steps occasionally shines, would like to check broomhill friary at some point -

also i do quite good chips when im playing footy, like:)

who does best chips in sheffield?
broomhill friary

the devonshire chippy is especially bad for chips, the broomhill friary is good and cheap.

Elif go for quantity not quality, last time i went there i woke in the morning to the slushing sound of all the grease in ma belly. Kebablish do the best kebabs in sheffield, easily.

Had an Elif once, tasted like crap and got food poisoning. Never again.

Had an Elif once, tasted like crap and got food poisoning. Never again.
You sure it weren't yummy Hut Cocka? Also when I was a little bit smaller devonshire chippy was right good, bout 10 years ago

Yup I tend to remember the places that make me feel like I'm turning inside out :)

Had an Elif once, tasted like crap and got food poisoning. Never again.

Rubbish. Don't believe you. An Elif's is the best kebab I've ever had anywhere, and believe me, I've had a lot.

I'm glad people have dredged this thread up. It makes me feel important. I'd have to concur with Bradders (junior) with regard to Harry's chips. Haven't sampled the chips at the Broomhill monastery, although I do like the Broomhill Friery.

Oh I'm so pedantic it's ace.

[edit:] there are plenty of "best chip"/"best kebab" threads so lets keep this one on topic: The possibility of me selling Paris Fish Bar the rights to the design of the Paris Fish Bar. That and Wayne's World.

Elifs are by faaaaaar the best kebabs in town, you pay for the quality for sure. i could punish one now :)

Elifs are by faaaaaar the best kebabs in town, you pay for the quality for sure. i could punish one now :)

Eating an Elif kebab is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman...

but not one of those greasy women, a nice clean one wrapped in a soft naan, with lashings of mayo on her head. mmmmm hahaa