As the title says really. Whats the point in marriage?

Well I know what the point is legally, but in general what is the point?

(inspired by the gay marriages thread)

:)

for the dress? or honeymoon? or all the pressent? or even the big day? To take the mans name (if choose too) or just because they love each other and want to commit??

so u can wear a big dress and look like a marshmallow all day, get a piece of paper, and then argue all the time and decide its not right for you and get divorced.

Thats how i see it lol, i think you have more fun just going out, unless u want a rich old mans pension hehe

only kidding xxx

Originally posted by spyro2000
As the title says really. Whats the point in marriage?

Well I know what the point is legally, but in general what is the point?

(inspired by the gay marriages thread)

:)

i had a brilliant stag weekend:thumbsup:

Its partly in my opinion a public declaration of your love and commitment to another human being. Not for the benefit of the audience but to prove to your partner that you want the world to know that they are the one for you for the rest of your lives. Thats why me and my husband got wed anyway, oh and for a bloody good party.

Originally posted by x_Sunshine_x
so u can wear a big dress and look like a marshmallow all day.

this is not the gay wedding thread........do a search and repost:thumbsup:

:rant: i'll tell u what the point is. A load of stress and worrying for 1 bloody day off ur life. And im getting married in feb.:loopy:

Why do you need a piece of paper to show that you love someone?

Originally posted by spyro2000
Why do you need a piece of paper to show that you love someone?

the piece of paper is for the womans benifit,when she gets a bit droopy like and the bloke feels like loving someone else the piece of paper entitles her to take him to the cleaners:thumbsup:

If you want to know what the point is in getting married, ask this lass:

http://www.divasthesite.com/Society_Divas/ivana_trump_a.htm

:suspect: :suspect:

Originally posted by kookymonster
Its partly in my opinion a public declaration of your love and commitment to another human being. Not for the benefit of the audience but to prove to your partner that you want the world to know that they are the one for you for the rest of your lives. Thats why me and my husband got wed anyway, oh and for a bloody good party.

The ring(s) you give .. as explained to my granddaughter a couple of days ago represent "neverending".

So it should be. Whatever the strains that happen in a marriage..from both sides, should mean just that. I except violence within the marriage, and a variety of other causes which may result in a divorce, but generally as the Wedding Service requires the promise "forsaking all others".

Call me old fashioned if you want...I don't care.....41 years after our wedding!

:thumbsup: apart from having a good day,u dont get anything legally if ur not married anymore. So if ur not married and owt happens to 1 of u. ur fooked.

Originally posted by jooelz
:thumbsup: apart from having a good day,u dont get anything legally if ur not married anymore. So if ur not married and owt happens to 1 of u. ur fooked.

thats what I mean, apart from legally, whats the point?

Gettin married means 'faithfulness' something not all guys do (even when married) thats why some women like to get married it reasures them that you wont leave her for a fitter blonde :) lol and also to know that she gets half too lol

Originally posted by Mz_BaBe
Gettin married means 'faithfulness' something not all guys do (even when married) thats why some women like to get married it reasures them that you wont leave her for a fitter blonde :) lol and also to know that she gets half too lol

Exactly, you say gettin married means faithulness, but you contradict yourself saying that not all people are faithful anyway even when married.

So again I ask....What is the point? :)

(ive already said Im not asking in regards to legal reasons, so that can not be used)

:wink: :love: When uve been together for has long as we av (12 years), u realise that ur not getting any younger,so its just thre right thing to do. We just wanna tell our friends how much we mean to each other,and that noone can take it away from us. Plus we're going on a fantastic honeymoon after. :D :thumbsup: :heyhey: :hihi:

Originally posted by jooelz
:wink: :love: When uve been together for has long as we av (12 years), u realise that ur not getting any younger,so its just thre right thing to do. We just wanna tell our friends how much we mean to each other,and that noone can take it away from us. Plus we're going on a fantastic honeymoon after. :D :thumbsup: :heyhey: :hihi:

Being "the right thing to do" isnt really an answer now is it. :)

And as for the honey moon, you can have a 'holiday' anytime you want. Doesnt have to be after a wedding

Originally posted by spyro2000
Exactly, you say gettin married means faithulness, but you contradict yourself saying that not all people are faithful anyway even when married.

So again I ask....What is the point? :)

(ive already said Im not asking in regards to legal reasons, so that can not be used)

Don't get married if you feel like that.... you will be doing the potential Bride a favour!

Originally posted by spyro2000
Being "the right thing to do" isnt really an answer now is it. :)

And as for the honey moon, you can have a 'holiday' anytime you want. Doesnt have to be after a wedding

Well in your eyes there aint a point is ther? So dont get married

in my eyes
marriage is to be married in the eyes of god and the law

as the laws an ass and i dont believe in religion i aint ever been married

weve been together 18 years

Originally posted by melthebell
in my eyes
marriage is to be married in the eyes of god and the law

as the laws an ass and i dont believe in religion i aint ever been married

weve been together 18 years

Can't you get him/her to the point of marriage yet then...

Originally posted by shoeshine
Don't get married if you feel like that.... you will be doing the potential Bride a favour!

Did I say I was going to get married?

p.s. I didnt say there is anything wrong with marriage, im merely asking a question.

Feel free to post any question...it gets the BNP off the top of here:)

Why NOT get married if u want to. Its up to the couple and noone else. IMO. We're getting married cos we want to. And as for the holiday,we've only had 1 holiday in 11 1/2 years. Its something to look forward to. Why celebrate xmas?:suspect: :confused:

Originally posted by shoeshine
Can't you get him/her to the point of marriage yet then...
huh?
its me that wont get married :)

Originally posted by melthebell
huh?
its me that wont get married :)

Why not after all that time? I presume you love each other....for better or worse...in sickness and in health etc.... Register Office Weddings are just as meaningful you know....

Originally posted by shoeshine
Why not after all that time? I presume you love each other....for better or worse...in sickness and in health etc.... Register Office Weddings are just as meaningful you know....

They already know they love each other I presume. I doubt they need the paper to confirm this :)

To get married in the registery office is only 105quid in total i think :)

Originally posted by shoeshine
Why not after all that time? I presume you love each other....for better or worse...in sickness and in health etc.... Register Office Weddings are just as meaningful you know....

did i not say the reason why in my original post?

you get married in the eyes of god and the law

i dont believe in god and the laws an ass so why should we?

we still love each other and do the same things we would if we were married


the only other thing about marriage is..........once you get married you start believing you own the other person, thats when things start to go wrong

Never underestimate the emotional and psychological power of an official ceremony, Spyro 2000.

Sure, you and your beloved can whisper your vows to each other over the breakfast table, but it's not the same as proclaiming your love and fidelity in front of your family and friends (and God, if you so choose). That makes your promises real before the world.

It's like graduating from school. You still have the same amount of knowledge whether you receive your diploma in the school office or in a formal graduation ceremony with your classmates. But the ceremony makes it real and honors your hard work.

Ditto with a funeral, a christening or an ordination. They all seal the deal, so to speak, and make us realize the importance of the milestone at the moment and in the future.

Spyro2000, I'm in total agreement with you. I do not understand the point in getting married!

I would rather spend the money I would spend on getting married and travel for a year with the man I fell in love with. I'd get so much more out of this!

Plus isn't the divorce rate getting higher these days?!

Originally posted by Zimily

Plus isn't the divorce rate getting higher these days?!

and part of the blame lies witht he internet and friends reunited



alledgedly :P

Originally posted by spyro2000
They already know they love each other I presume. I doubt they need the paper to confirm this :)

The piece of paper is irrelevant...I agree, but the commitment is not irrelevant.... why not declare in public and before your family your lifelong commitment to each other AND MEAN IT AND STICK BY IT. What really is your problem. No marriage is perfect..but the love between you can last for life.....why not work on it as a couple to achieve that goal?

Originally posted by shoeshine
The piece of paper is irrelevant...I agree, but the commitment is not irrelevant.... why not declare in public and before your family your lifelong commitment to each other AND MEAN IT AND STICK BY IT. What really is your problem. No marriage is perfect..but the love between you can last for life.....why not work on it as a couple to achieve that goal?

You use the word "commitment" and say "why not work on it as a couple to achieve that goal?" How many couples really do these days, I don't mean to sound too negative here but people tend to give up on things so quickly these days there really isn't that much point in bothering going through all that planning and preperation to say you love each other and you'll be there for each other in sickness and in health only for a couple of years down the line to throw it all away.

not sure,,,,

It's always easier these days to take the easy route... where has it got us...kids with no fathers/mothers...and whatever that means for the parents involved, not least to say what it means to the children involved in the breaks-up......Pity the poor souls involved in this laissee faire society........

Originally posted by kirky
the piece of paper is for the womans benifit,when she gets a bit droopy like and the bloke feels like loving someone else the piece of paper entitles her to take him to the cleaners:thumbsup: the ultimate answer

wont need to read the other posts as kirky has answered the question in one.....( with common sense )

next question o wise one.....what is the meaning of life ?:D

and wheres my socks..:clap: :clap:

Originally posted by depoix
the ultimate answer

wont need to read the other posts as kirky has answered the question in one.....( with common sense )

next question o wise one.....what is the meaning of life ?:D

and wheres my socks..:clap: :clap:

How sad.... look out you ladies reading this post!

What is the point in marriage,
I always asked this question.Yes ok people do it becuase they love one anouther or want to have the partners sername.But i do not belive in marriage for myself and ive not got nothing against anyone getting married.
Ive never been married but i did have my partners sername when we had our child as i changed it by depol.But when we split we did not have the big money worrie and stress of getting a divorce as im not married to him and i was just single after we split.
To me it is just like a more expensive way of changeing your name by depol and nothing else.The bit of paper does not stop you from cheating on one anouther or anything eles that a normal relaionship has.

What stops anyone cheating on each other is the commitment to BE and STAY with each other. I am sorry this happened to you dieselbabe.....but when you meet some of the people answering this thread in chauvinistic terms, or someone like them........run a mile!

Originally posted by shoeshine
What stops anyone cheating on each other is the commitment to BE and STAY with each other. I am sorry this happened to you dieselbabe.....but when you meet some of the people answering this thread in chauvinistic terms, or someone like them........run a mile!

Am I one of those people?

Marriage is fine if your Religious, if not then are you a hypocrite? Or more to the point, Why?

Spyro I don't know...are you?

Originally posted by wayne72
Marriage is fine if your Religious, if not then are you a hypocrite? Or more to the point, Why?

I am not religious...just a good bloke:)

Having got married, and recently been separated and soon to be divorced I think that i can offer a rounded perspective to this thread.

I always used to believe that marriage was about showing each other how committed you were to one another. Any couple that are in love normally want the world to know about it. The day is more symbolic of the two becoming one and of the unfaltering commitment that both of the couple intend to make...or so I thought.

I believed that my wife's view was the same as mine, until she cheated on me. In reality you are taking a gamble in any relationship when you commit to another person as it ultimately involves to some degree blindly trusting another. And in all honesty do we really need a piece of paper to do this? Not really. However for those, like myself who truly believe in what marriage represents, it is not the paper we need, but what it means in our hearts.

Despite my experiences I would marry again as I believe that it is more than just a legality. However you should always be aware that others may not attach the same standards.

Is short... its personal choice, it is for some and not for others, the true measure of the relationship is whether it lasts.

Marriage is just there to reassure people.
If you really loved someone you wouldn't need to get married.
Marriage is just an institution of patriarchy. Its just there to benefit the government. If people are married then they are likely to have children and they will be in that "cereal packet/nuclear structured" family - and they then dont have to pay out things for single moms and dads and the CSA and crap-kola like that.
Further more a thought i've always had. Why do people get re-married?
This just proves that marriage is there to reassure people. To help them believe that they are "the one" and all that. That they aren't as likely to run off with some one else and of course theres always the bonus that if someone dies - you get the house!
If you get married- its forever - you are in true love and all that. Get divorced and re-married.. isnt that some sort of contradiction? You said that the first husband/wife was the only true love. Now you got the only one for you... AGAIN?!
Which one was it?

Why do people get re-married...

ive since decided that there in no point in doing many things in this world

When i have children, i hope to be married to the mother of them. I dont want my kids born out of wedlock.

IMO its just an excuse to go out spend loads of money on nothing! the woman gets to dress up as all good little girls like to!! then go get really drunk eat loads and say insulting things to your inlaws show your new wife/husband up. go on a holiday come back and argue like mad get a divorce split everything in half and both go your seperate ways!!! if people put half as much effort into their actual marrige as they do on that one single day then maybe we wouldnt have so many divorce's so maybe it would be worth it but thats not how i see many marriges at the moment. if you dont have the cash then you borrow the money for the wedding! hm starting married life with debt not a good idea!!
and being married doesnt stop your partner from posibly cheating or help you feel anymore secure if you have to get married to stop you feeling like this then yu shouldnt get married in the first place!
and i dont belive you should get married because you have children or your about to come on its 2005 nearly 2006!!!!!!


:rolleyes:


not that im bitter or anything:hihi:

Marriage and its commitments does help children keep track of who their fathers are. Some poor little beggars havent a clue!

i'm not really convinced that marriage has any value.

All the reasons people are giving (apart from the legal) can be done without a ceremony.

"To show that you love each other and to show commitment", if you can't do that without an overpriced ceremony and party then you probably don't mean it.
If you want to tell your family and friends that this one is 'the one' and that you plan to stay together, just tell them, hell throw a big party if you like and have a holiday afterwards, how is that any different to marriage?
And on the legal side, you can actually just write wills and contracts that will have the same effect as marriage.

All that said, it seems to me (anecdotal I know) that women are more interested in getting married than men. I wonder why that is?

Originally posted by Cyclone

All that said, it seems to me (anecdotal I know) that women are more interested in getting married than men. I wonder why that is?

Contrary to popular opinion(ie all men are commitment-phobes),I'm finding,amongst the people i Know,that its the men who want to get married,but the women involved are the reluctant ones?

Originally posted by Annoni_mouse
Contrary to popular opinion(ie all men are commitment-phobes),I'm finding,amongst the people i Know,that its the men who want to get married,but the women involved are the reluctant ones?

I wasn't suggesting that men are commitment phobes, it's quite possible to be commitmed and think that marriage is a bit of an anachronism.

Originally posted by Cyclone
And on the legal side, you can actually just write wills and contracts that will have the same effect as marriage.



Not strictly true. Pre-Nuptual contracts are not recognised in English Law. They are purely seen a a statement of intent. If the estate of the deceased totals more than the Inheritance Tax threshold, the surviving partner will be subject to a tax bill and may have to sell their home, unlike marriage where there is no inheritance tax liability between spouses.

To me, it's a morality thing and it means that the couple involved aren't just messing around, they've made a comittment to one another that thery're going to be together forever (and some people can do it! :))
Plus, until there's a ring on the finger, either party can use the phrase, "It's not like we're married or anything" as a get out of jail free card.

Originally posted by wayne72
Marriage is fine if your Religious, if not then are you a hypocrite? Or more to the point, Why?

Not all marriages are conducted in religious ceremonies.

Originally posted by cloudybay
Not strictly true. Pre-Nuptual contracts are not recognised in English Law. They are purely seen a a statement of intent. If the estate of the deceased totals more than the Inheritance Tax threshold, the surviving partner will be subject to a tax bill and may have to sell their home, unlike marriage where there is no inheritance tax liability between spouses.

fair enough, I suspect that it's a minority of us (in sheffield at least) that own assets exceeding the inheritance tax threshold. (I'm basing that on a house being the most valuable asset that most people own, and the average in sheffield being something like 120k, only half way to the threshold).

Morality - A definition of what actions/inactions are good and bad. So you think that unmarried couples are immoral? Harsh.
"It's not like we were married or anything" trips of the tongue about as easily as "I want a divorce". Being unmarried doesn't necessarily mean any less of a commitment.
I've been living with my SO now for longer than friends who didn't live together until they were married (and are now divorcing), so who was more committed?

Got to be honest here - I met my wife in December 1984, three weeks later we decided that we were going to marry (aaaaaah). Married in '86, twenty years together next year (although it feels like fifty!). One great kid together, and I can't believe how lucky I am.

Why did we do it - cheesy, but it was the right thing, it felt right and proved to be.

Had a great wedding day, lovely honeymoon, and had far more ups than downs, but have worked thorugh the difficult times.

I know it doesn't suit everyone, but it worked for us and I recommend it.

Now darling, if you're reading this, that will be one bacon sandwich, crozzled, and one strong cup of tea. Oh, and move my slippers just a little further from the fire, they were too hot when I put them on last time.

that made me laugh, good post.

My sister was telling us the other day that her reception is going to cost something like 3k. We were talking about it on the way home, it's stupid. Why on earth spend that much on a party. You could double or triple the length of your honeymoon for that money, or (since she doesn't own a house) make a good start on a deposit with it.

Hi Cyclone,

I know it's incredibly harsh, but from a religous viewpoint, it is true. *Ducks flames*
Marriage used to be a serious life-long commitment, but nowadays for some, it is something taken lightly because divorce is so simple. Perhaps it is because it is no longer seen as a union before God (by the majority) - I don't know... (just musing)

Originally posted by Cyclone

Morality - A definition of what actions/inactions are good and bad. So you think that unmarried couples are immoral? Harsh.
"It's not like we were married or anything" trips of the tongue about as easily as "I want a divorce". Being unmarried doesn't necessarily mean any less of a commitment.
I've been living with my SO now for longer than friends who didn't live together until they were married (and are now divorcing), so who was more committed?

you can see my views on religion in other threads, so I won't go into it here. But my views on marriage largely stem from the fact that it is a religious institution (even if civil marriages exist now).

lifes a Bitch then you marry one....:D

lifes a Bitch then you marry one.
yeh right!!!!!!!!!!!
tommorrows my wedding anniversary,and my husband is out all day,
8am hes got phisio
10am hes off down town with his mates for a drink
6pm hes having his hair cut
im left home all day,
yeh marriage great isnt it?

Originally posted by julie23
yeh right!!!!!!!!!!!
tommorrows my wedding anniversary,and my husband is out all day,
8am hes got phisio
10am hes off down town with his mates for a drink
6pm hes having his hair cut
im left home all day,
yeh marriage great isnt it?

That's a terrible way to treat you on your Anniversary.....tell him he'll have to have his haircut on another day:)

cant be bothered,never mind,ill take kids somewhere nice:thumbsup: