i think nana moon should be given a good send off cockney style
cremated and her ashes mixed with sand & cement to make a big club with and then procede to wallop alfie right over his head to put him out of his misery and then start on the rest of walford

I thought every episode of this tripe was a funeral.

Are they saving it for their Christmas 'spesh' when we think we've endured as much arguing and falling out we can in the family on Christmas day, when the wife puts this pile of misery on the tele?

Merry Christmas.

I wonder what other 'we won the ratings' storylines they've concocted for their 'ardent' viewers?

Christmas Cards sent to Peggy 'git aahh ta maa paab' Mitchell containing 'white dust' that kills her whilst she's cooking Christmas dinner? She falls on the turkey much to the chagrin of her guests, many of whom were hitherto buried under the Queen Vic's worn carpet.

Meanwhile, Ruby is spewing up Vodka and Toilet Duck under the mistletoe (you can hear Cliff Richard on the jukebox giving the scene a festive edge and one that will become lodged in the brains of viewers who in years to come, will watch misty-eyed Channel 4's Most Memorable Christmas TV Moments saying 'Ah, that was the best Eastenders Christmas ever', a programme that lasts nine hours due to its having fifty commercial breaks: "Coming up, after the break...." Zzzzzzzzz).

Nasty Nick will make a return with an AIDS contaminated syringe threatening to stab his 'ma' if she doesn't use her Christmas pressie (stolen from Walford's local branch of Barnados), a sawn-off shot gun, on the Mitchell brothers over at 'the arches'. He's high on Air Wick and looks incredibly menacing. Dot finishes her fag and retrieves the gun from her bedside drawer - camera closes in on wrinkly face. (She was saving the gun to blast Jim when he returned 'all Brahms and Liszt' from the 'Vic'.)

The final scene sees a rather rotted Dirty Den make another comeback (as announced on the cover of Radio Times back in November), "Hello darlin' " before being driven off to Hades in the back of the square's only cab driver (who happens to be working on Christmas day) as all the regulars pile out of 'The Vic' to wave him off, complaining of the smell left behind, akin to a Vulture bin lorry on a hot summer's day.

Cue piano intro (to the outro, you dig?) to Anyone Can Fall In Love, tinsel and tears as we await the next episode of Eastenders in ten minutes' time (once the the Queen's speech is done with).

:lol: :clap: brilliant!