Having read and contributed to the 'curvy' thread, I got to thinking, it did seem mainly to be about the lads and how we feel about 'curvy' women, but what about you women on SF, do you all want blokes with a washboard frontage and a lean muscular frame, or do you actually, and think hard about this, find any attractiveness in the 'huskier' fella?
Do you agree with Dale Winton, who once said " I like to see a verandah over the door of the toy shop" :heyhey:

This comes from me being told I'm not fanciable any more because I've put weight on, even though I've always been a big lad. Admittedly I am now what you would call 'HUGE' but I am very tall and broad in the first place. ho hum...

anyway, I'd just like to get a few female views on this before I submit myself to the inevitable 'removal of fun' diet.


:clap:

You could be the most gorgeous and washboard-stomached adonis on earth, but if you weren't a nice, genuine and caring person you'd get nowhere other than a bit of window shopping with me.

The people you have relationships with may be different to the people that you smile at while out in public. I don't choose a partner based only on looks- much of the good memories I have of 'physical encounters' have been good because of the intimacy and affection, and have nothing to do with what either party looked like.

Anyway, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you- and I'm even more niche due to my height- so I hope that this applies to others too.

Slim men do nothing for me at all... my ex was very slim... altho i didnt really mind it... i felt he had the body of a woman... without the ahem! body parts of course... :blush:

I like a man to be a man... that includes not waxing the chest...

I prefer men to be men... a nice build something to grab hold of and very huggable... certainly not the model type... :nono:

John Travolta build mmm! mmm! he certainly has matured with age... :wink:

Fran Cosgrove... niiiice!

The consensus of opinion seems to be that men like bigger women and women like bigger men, so why is everyone still dieting ?

As someone said in the other thread I dont' think it's to do with what the opposite sex thinks, it's more what your competition thinks.

Women think they stand more chance if they are a bit thinner, and men think they stand a chance if they have a 6-pack, but the truth, it seems (if everyone is telling the truth not just being polite) is that it doesn't matter.

weight or size or shape has no importance to me. i just want myself and who ever i end up with to be happy with themselves. and me to be happy with myself and of course happy to be with each other.

i find that we spend most of our time and energy in relationships trying to change each other or wishing we were something differnt to what we actually are .

if we could only use that time and energy loving each other and being happy to have each other for how ever long the relationships last then the world will be a happier place and maybe people wouldnt feel that they had to be like these so called perfect models in the mags

im just sad it has taken me as long as it has to realize this as i myself used to feel that i was not as good as these models and have spent many days eating the entire contents of the fridge through depression and a feeling of not good enough to be liked by anyone male or female

i am now happy to be who i am and i say if u dont like me as i am then shove off mate i aint got time for ya

and yes i feel that men are forgotten when it comes to the issue of weight problems and dieting and sharpsinger hun i have found u to be a very lovely man and u have a great personality stuff what anyone else says hun

just be happy :clap:

The best thing in any person is they're personality... i like people who can make me laugh and be themselves i hate pretence... :rant:

Like i said in a previous thread... i befriended a guy at work nothing special to look at but in time as we got to know one another there was a mutual attraction flowing... unfortunately as we had become so close nothing ever happened... it would have been wrong... it'd feel like kissing or going to bed with my brother... eww :gag:

So really i dont think we can say what we like and be choosy... with our men and women!

But i still like the above men :wink: but thats all fantasy!

I prefer living in reality... with real men!

A few years ago I had a "beer belly"

Our lass used to have to use THIS (http://www.lacoctelera.com/dulcejulian/imagen/wok.jpg) To iron mi "T" shirts on.

I'm fat and I've been out with some really good looking women and better looking than my skinny mates. So yeah, I'm staying fat ;)

Originally posted by nick2
The consensus of opinion seems to be that men like bigger women and women like bigger men, so why is everyone still dieting ?

As someone said in the other thread I dont' think it's to do with what the opposite sex thinks, it's more what your competition thinks.

Women think they stand more chance if they are a bit thinner, and men think they stand a chance if they have a 6-pack, but the truth, it seems (if everyone is telling the truth not just being polite) is that it doesn't matter.

I agree that dieting is more about how you shape up against the 'competition' than directly shaping up to impress potential partners. It's to do with giving you a level of confidence in the dating 'meat market', I think - if you know you're as skinny as or skinnier than most of the competition, that's going to boost your confidence, so you'll act more confident, which in itself is attractive.

We've been conditioned to believe that size 10 women are the ideal (and men with 6 packs are the male ideal), so we BELIEVE we'll be more attractive if we're size 10, whatever the reality is. We feel other people will HAVE to find us attractive and admire us if we've fulfilled society's supposed ideal.

So just reaching that desired size gives confidence and self-belief - never mind what you actually look like. You feel other people must find you more attractive, so you act like it. There's that extra swagger in your stride, that twinkle in your eye, you're more likely to have the confidence to enter into banter with someone of the opposite sex. All these things, and just the aura of confidence around you, are likely to make you appear more attractive - not because you ARE, but because you BELIEVE you are. So that's what you project.

StarSparkle

weight or size or shape has no importance to me. i just want myself and who ever i end up with to be happy with themselves. and me to be happy with myself and of course happy to be with each other.


i totally agree with you katy1981
its whats inside that counts,good looks doesnt mean good person:)

glad to see no-one has mentioned file allocation tables yet.

oops.

Originally posted by Phanerothyme
glad to see no-one has mentioned file allocation tables yet.

oops.

Nerd alert !

I don't think its about how you look to the 'competition' either, I think its about how you look to yourself!

I look in the mirror and think, yeah, ok, could be a bit slimmer, could have better hair, skins a bit icky, but then I forget about it and get off down the pub. Others find it much harder to stop obsessing over what they see in the mirror.

What attracts the opposite sex and puts off the competition is self-confidence, above anything.

Originally posted by Angel05

I like a man to be a man... that includes not waxing the chest...

I prefer men to be men... a nice build something to grab hold of and very huggable... certainly not the model type... :nono:


I'm with Angel on this one!! :clap:

Originally posted by kathythebean
I don't think its about how you look to the 'competition' either, I think its about how you look to yourself!


I agree, I sometimes think "if I were a bit taller/broader/slimmer/whatever this t-shirt would fit me properly and look much better", but then I think "sod it, I'll wear a jumper over the top".

Are you real men going to put any pics on here then so we girls can ogle you?

Originally posted by julie23
i totally agree with you katy1981
its whats inside that counts,good looks doesnt mean good person:)


I have found this out to be true... being good looking doesnt mean a great personality... quite the opposite in fact...

Could it be the person knows they're good looking so know they dont have to be nice to attract? as they believe they can take the pick of the bunch!

you know wot they say the dont put bay windows on s*** house,s

I think you reach an age where you accept yourself and others for the very fact that you and they are being themselves.

I recall a lot of my friends doing (some time back)exactly what a lot of women are doing now and trying to be the 'ideal'; this ideal being dictated by the media and making people act like sheep. I always had a different approach to things and don't know if it was down to having a lot of brothers and perhaps being more relaxed about myself.

I also read recently about more men going for plastic surgery than women - don't know if that's true but I honestly thought guys were more relaxed about things.

I don't mind men that are a bit overweight, its the Mr. Blobby ones that put me off.

Similarly a "6 pack" is okay by me, but not at the cost of a bloke that spends his life preening!

I do like men that have a fully functioning set of brain cells though!

I like men to have a fair bit of meat on their bones... Big broad shoulders, beefy arms etc... *swoon*

I'm really not into skinny guys at all. Full stop. Bit of beef and a bit of something to hold onto goes a very long way in my book! :wink:

Originally posted by tiffy
Are you real men going to put any pics on here then so we girls can ogle you?
<<<<<<----------------------- here I am, cracker, aren't I!!

Seriously?? :o

So, you feel nothing for Freddie L in this picture? (http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7068/26/1600/ljungber%20ck03.jpg)

I'd check the lovely body, great personality box :D

I do wonder; all the women who say they prefer personality over looks; is it not his looks that first attracts you to find out about his personality? :suspect:

Originally posted by Moon Maiden
I'm with Angel on this one!! :clap:

Hi Kathy the bean, it's alright for you to talk, you're drop dead gorgeous, and I also know it's not what's on the outside and all that, but would it alter the great tapestry of life to let me lose a couple of pounds (stone) because I really do try!!!

Originally posted by katy1981

i find that we spend most of our time and energy in relationships trying to change each other or wishing we were something differnt to what we actually are .

if we could only use that time and energy loving each other and being happy to have each other for how ever long the relationships last then the world will be a happier place and maybe people wouldnt feel that they had to be like these so called perfect models in the mags



totally agree, too many women try to change men and men try to alter a women, why do these people fall for each other in the 1st place???

i like a real man, strong build and soft hearted, personality and sense of homour, i dont think any one ends up with the people they picture theselves with and thats life

and thus my fav qoute

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is wing'd cupid painted blind" by William S

Originally posted by tiffy
I think you reach an age where you accept yourself and others for the very fact that you and they are being themselves.


I think this sentiment has it in a nutshell for me.

It took me a long time to realise that I will always be a little overweight, not like the way my hair is naturally, etc. etc, but I've now come to terms with the fact that people seem to like me in spite of what I perceive to be my shortcomings.

I dated a guy a few months ago who was really uncomfortable with how hairy he was; I personally found it really attractive. :D

Horses for courses is the crux of the matter I guess, but I for one have stopped worrying about the things I can't (or can't be bothered) to change!

And, in answer to the original question, yes, I do like my guys with slightly more padding than you'd find on an olympic swimmer! ;)

K x

hairy back? :gag:

anyhow, I have a similar build to Kristian and I will never be skinny 9actually, untrue I have been and got called lots of skeleton/skinny names ) due to my build.

the thing that really really annoys me that no matter how clothes makers only make xl sizes for skinny indie boys.

no clothes look good on me :(

[QUOTE]Originally posted by robbie
[B]hairy back? :gag:


the thing that really really annoys me that no matter how clothes makers only make xl sizes for skinny indie boys.

try 'the Big Man Shop' on Manchester road at Stocksbridge, they have a good selection including designer names and they make 'trendy' gear for the XL chap, I buy pretty much everything there and even modelled for their catalogue, the prices arent ridiculous and all the ladies who work there are lovely and make you feel welcome and at ease.

:clap: :clap:

Originally posted by LadyInRed
totally agree, too many women try to change men ...


It's the main 3 things a woman gets into her head on her wedding day that become her obsession

ISLE
ALTER
HYMN

:hihi:

Originally posted by Angel05
I have found this out to be true... being good looking doesnt mean a great personality... quite the opposite in fact...


Whooossshhh ! Sweeping generalisation alert.

So you've never met a cute person with a nice personality too, do you deliberately go for the ugliest person in the room knowing that they will the the wittiest, funniest and most interesting person ?

I agree that personality is ultimately what draws you strongly to a mate and what keeps you attracted, whether or not his or her physical attributes are your ideal.

But Sharpsinger's question seems to be, "Do women find huskiness attractive in its own right?" rather than "Can women overlook huskiness if the guy has a great personality?"

There's a big difference.

So, here's my answer: Personality completely aside, I am more attracted to large guys, even ones who are noticeably overweight, than to thin men. Brawn is beautiful in my book.

(It takes a real charmer to compensate for a hairy back, however!)

Originally posted by HappyHoosier

(It takes a real charmer to compensate for a hairy back, however!)

I thought that was what hot wax was for? If I get legs, underarms, bikini line, eyebrows etc etc waxed because he prefers it, then why not reciprocate?

Originally posted by HappyHoosier
(It takes a real charmer to compensate for a hairy back, however!)

I don't mind, men are supposed to be hairy.

Originally posted by medusa666
I thought that was what hot wax was for? If I get legs, underarms, bikini line, eyebrows etc etc waxed because he prefers it, then why not reciprocate?

;) I dunno medusa... lol ;)

I used to look at the sadiators *coff* sorry, I mean "Gladiators" when the series was on telly, about 15 years ago, and think...

"Ugh! how can anyone take a bloke seriously that shaves his armpits !" :ha ha:

Back on topic...

I go for personality much more over looks, although I consider I have fallen quite lucky this time round, as my fella is not bad looking, at all, and has a nice personality.

In the past, I have tended to go for the larger, taller build of fella, but this time I have fallen heavily for a slender chap...

funny, isn't it, how love strikes? lol

PT

I've just noticed how my last post reads- I'd like to make it clear that my idea on reciprocation in the waxing department extends ONLY as far as waxing hairy backs if they're not your thing! All I meant was that hairy backs aren't necessarily a deal breaker as they are easily dealt with with a little hot wax and a good wax technician.

Originally posted by katy1981
weight or size or shape has no importance to me. i just want myself and who ever i end up with to be happy with themselves. and me to be happy with myself and of course happy to be with each other.

i find that we spend most of our time and energy in relationships trying to change each other or wishing we were something differnt to what we actually are .

if we could only use that time and energy loving each other and being happy to have each other for how ever long the relationships last then the world will be a happier place and maybe people wouldnt feel that they had to be like these so called perfect models in the mags

im just sad it has taken me as long as it has to realize this as i myself used to feel that i was not as good as these models and have spent many days eating the entire contents of the fridge through depression and a feeling of not good enough to be liked by anyone male or female

i am now happy to be who i am and i say if u dont like me as i am then shove off mate i aint got time for ya

and yes i feel that men are forgotten when it comes to the issue of weight problems and dieting and sharpsinger hun i have found u to be a very lovely man and u have a great personality stuff what anyone else says hun

just be happy :clap: well said all above and katy sweetie !
and i think ya look great as you are !
its other people that make us feel unsure about ourselfs my ex made me feel so worthless and like i was the luckiest woman to have him !
i have done lots of errm ! study ? since we split only to find out he was so wrong !other men do like me ! study still on going just to be sure of course !
he ! he !:hihi: :heyhey: X X