Just out of interest - girlfriends.

You get a girlfriend - unless you are me - and it starts. They do not want you to have contact with an ex - even when that ex is the mother of your kids whom you still see.

Worse still is if you do not see your kids and then its - 'you should go to court and fight for contact. She's nothing but a ...."

Next on the list is those smelly socks. No way is she even going to touch those let alone stick them in with the washing.

Then its - I know I said I would take the dog for a walk but I'm not feeling very well and its cold outside.

Then its - I cooked the tea last night so its your turn tonight, and as I made a lovely meal you can do the tea the night after as well.

As well as the complaints about how long you spend on the computer, or the films you enjoy that are not romances, or the music you listen to cos its not trendy enough.

The list goes on. Is this a thing that applies to all females or just to the awkward ones?

Dragon

Where's the love, Dragon?

Sounds like you and your lady need a dirty weekend away or something...

:cool:

I did not say I had a girlfriend. It is easy to talk about the experiences of others cos you tend to notice the little things they don't see.

And are we talking love or lust here ;)

Dragon

I don't understand then!

Are you talking about someone elses girlfriend? Or an ex? Or some phantom woman?

No, man, I'm talking about love. You put up with all the sock things and the making dinner and the cleaning the toilet because your boyfriend doesn't seem to know what Jif is becuase you love them! And its worth it for the smile on their face when they wake up with you and the way that they laugh at your jokes and make it seem like things are okay when you're down, and all those kinds of things.

Kathy - you are such a sweetie. If that is a description of you then you are one in a million - perhaps ;)

I am talking possibly hypothetically here. Guarded words cos you never know who will read this and the last thing you want is to wake up to find you have a mouth full of your own sweaty socks ;)

I do not expect everything done for me. I think chores should be shared, or divided, but if I am going to pick up her dirty laundry then surely she should pick up mine when its her turn to do the washing?

And another thing - how often do you wash the bed sheets? Every day? Even when you have not slept in the bed? Is this obsessive compulsive disorder?

These are a few of my worrying things.

Dragon

I have to agree with Katheythebean on this one.
What you are looking for, Dragon, is a housekeeper or char lady.
Big distinction in expectations.
A girlfriend is the one you love without even noticing the sheets, clean or dirty, and whose life you want to fill with wonderful moments.
Anything less is totally unacceptable.

Floe - you obviously did not read my previous post, or maybe you just did not understand it? Sometimes reading a post can be like that - either through the fault of the reader or because the person typing it has not been clear enough.

If I wanted a housecleaner then I would have to sack myself first. I am not one of those blokes who likes an untidy house - so I tend to clean quite a lot.

You also seem to have a rpetty rosy view of how things should be. Unfortunately they rarely are that way.

Do you only have a girlfriend or boyfriend if you love them then? Does not true love develop with a relationship? I take it you are a firm believer in love at first sight for everyone?

Dragon

This is a pointless arguement, all that's going to happen on this thread is men moaning about women, women moaning about men

No. The girl you described sounds like a pysco. Get rid before you get home to find your rabbit on your stove.

My ex had a little boy and I would never in a million years have even thought of saying to him, don't see him or go court over him or get the mother out of your life.

If he was this way and never bothered over his son or the mother it would have bothered me - what kind of a man would that have made him ?

I think Dragon is talking more about how hard it can be to synchronise your living habits with someone else. Especially if sometimes it seems like that person is a on a different planet, or a million miles from the person you fell in love with!

I think that must just be the awkward ones D.

Well, Dragon, I think you have me taped here.
I have got a very positive view of life.
After all, we only have one life and I am the greatest of optimists!:)

Sheffield must be a lot bigger than we think it is, because I think you'd find a lot more 'ones in a million' than you think.

I like a little give and take- who doesn't?
I like doing things to please, and having them done for me- who doesn't?

But I don't like green eyed monsters, and generally refuse to have them in the house, and believe in appreciating what you have, rather than whingeing about the shortcomings of life (as the message on my mobile says- living's a lot better than the alternative!

And I don't believe in bad mouthing anybody, least of all a previous partner with whom my partner (again hypothetically, as I'm alone presently) shares children- she's their mum, and should be treated with the respect that all humans deserve.

And I appreciate not being in each other's pockets constantly and celebrate the differences between people- wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same?

All of these things are part of the rich tapestry of life- the good bits payoff for the bad bits, and it's all worth it if you love somebody and they love you, and you plan and live a life together to be richer (emotionally) than living in solitude.

I may not be perfect (who is?) but if these are the women that you've met in the past then I'm sorry, but they're not representative of me.

Hope you find someone you can be truly happy with :)

Also I suppose you're just a dream to live with, aren't you, Dragon? :hihi:

Are there any good points in the relationship Dragon as it seems a pretty petty relationship to be having, all this counting up who does tea etc..

Does this make you happy as your initial post does not seem to be a ray of sunshine.

Have you talked to her about it or is it festering in your head?

Dragon,

You forgot the bit about once the girlfriend moves in the guy can no longer see his mates other than at weddings and baptisms!

Serapis,

You forgot the bit where you only live with people who aren't psychos and who you actually like!

Originally posted by kathythebean
Serapis,

You forgot the bit where you only live with people who aren't psychos and who you actually like!

So THATS where I’m going wrong!

To be honest the blame can be partialled to both parties. Guys don’t seem that bothered about it and in most cases are useless at maintaining their friendships with other guys outside of the coupling circles!

To many guys fall into the rut of laying on the sofa watching TV!

if I get started on this I'll just end up in tears or really seethingly angry so i'll just stop n.........



:clap:

Kathy - I am a nightmare to live with - but only cos the femlaes who choose me don't bother to exert control ;)

Just saying I like a tidy house and I think that washing clean laundry is a bit OTT.

Just cos I wash the post one night does not mean I expect my partner to do them the next. I am quite happy these days washing pots no matter how often I have done them in the past. At least I know they are going to be washed properly.

True - I forgot that bit about not being allowed out with the mates - but I think I have not yet met the female who is like that so I must have been lucky.

There always seems to be a fight about who gets to go on the computer though. Not fight as in violence - but if the female does not get her way they get moody, and if I don't get my way I just go to sleep .... or wash the dishes ;)

Dragon

Errr nope, not all females. Relationships are equal and so you should be equally nice to each other....

Its easy to forget sometimes.

My bad.

Appologies ;)

Dragon

Dragon you sound like my ideal man! A man who ACTUALLY washes the pots??!!! I didnt think they existed!

Joking aside, I think if its 2nd (or 3rd, 4th etc) time around for either one or both in the relationship, there should be flexibility where ex's and children are concerned, and if there isnt - get out! The children of a previous relationship MUST ALWAYS come first, no matter what.

As for the housework/tidying up aspect - if you both work - share it! Whoever's home first starts it. As for the washing of items worn by the other half, I'd actually WANT to do it. Thats part and parcel of loving that person. Dont get me wrong, I'd never be a dogsbody for anyone out of respect for myself.
I also believe there are jobs men can do better than women - ie - getting up ladders, going into the loft, lifting heavy items - jobs where physical strength is needed. Equally, IMO, women are better than men doing other chores ie shopping (!!!) ironing, washing etc.

Like I say, these are my opinions. In these days where political correctness is rife, my views will probably be shot to pieces! Ah well!!!!

:)

I have no problem with housework. I can cook, sew, iron, wash, and just about everything else. I raised my daughter on my own since she was 4. She's taking her 2nd diploma now - aint I proud of her ;)

But if you are sharing a home with someone then they really ought to do some of the work involved in keeping the placve tidy.

As for ex's where kids are concerned - my views are well known. Just cos I talk to my ex about how the kids have done at school or such does not mean I am wanting to jump into bed with her (no offence to the mother of my two eldest).

Life can be so simple --- life is usually so complex.

Dragon