Crikey that sounds heavy for me!!

Anyway some of you may have the dubious pleasure of knowing my situation due to my usual ramblings, for those who dont, here is a refresher!!

Situation is in April i split up with my ex fiancee after 5 years. For the first 4/5 months we would rather slit each other's throats than to be civil. I'm not joking!! lol Due to the fact we have a house together we have been forced to live together and still do.

Truth of the matter is over last couple of months we have got on really well and are back to being really good buddies again though there is no sex or temptation. The way i see this situation is the same as me house sharing with another bloke as we do now go out together to pubs and cinema etc.

On Saturday nights we go to Nelson together, get drunk, have a laugh and when we make it to the Corp we go our seperate ways and meet at the end of the night for the taxi home.

There is no jealousy on my part as i know she has had a boyfriend and likewise on her part as she knows i have had brief flirtations with the opposite sex.

What i want is feedback on how would you feel in a hypothetical kind of way if you got involved with me or my ex?

How would you feel about the other person whom your new partner shares a house with? Would you have a problem if they were still friends?

I see it black and white, my ex is now just a mate. For me to have anything else with her would be like sleeping with a male friend. Honest!! (yes i'm weird i know!). Problem is when we discuss it its like what do we say? Dont want to put anyone new off straight away!!

Both set of friends think we are both weird and her parents have said we are more like brother and sister than lovers as we do get on really well, just too well for anything romantic as we only want to kill each other!! lol

So come of SF, give me your honest feedback and i thank you for taking the time to do so:thumbsup:

Adios,

Rob

Without knowing you or your ex it's hard to say, and everyone's different - but speaking for myself if I was dating her then I would imagine I'd probably find it a little weird (and disconcerting).

At the end of the day though I think it'd be a question of trust (which I suppose must tell me I have trust issues :help: ).

.....can't begin to relate

wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who lived with her ex, you've fancied her before, probably will again at some point..........people's feelings change,..........one drunken evening, one thing may lead to another.

Wouldn't need that sort of baggage in my life

Fair do's on the points you have made guys:thumbsup:

Yep, trust is an issue but i wouldn't mind if my new woman met my ex for that very reason.

And its not forever, one day the house WILL sell!!!!

Any female opinions?

Originally posted by rocketpig
.....can't begin to relate

wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who lived with her ex, you've fancied her before, probably will again at some point..........people's feelings change,..........one drunken evening, one thing may lead to another.

Wouldn't need that sort of baggage in my life

There is no way on hells earth that would happen, sorry Rob, because I have put up with that pain for 5 years! alot of the time we are at war! Although we do get on we don't have that much in common we were not compatible.

It actually does **** me off how some people have issues. I can see it from both sides of the coin but my argument is if you really really want to be with someone nothing will stop you in getting to know them and taking a risk. Just supposing that it is your soul companion. So many people let good things slip away and years later regret it.

If i dated someone I would still bring them around to the house, i didn't with my last boyfriend because it was too soon and raw for all involved. I'm not bothered if Rob brings a girl around, he's not bothered now if i bring a bloke around!

Also the house is on the market so it's not like a permanent arrangement anyway!

Yeah Rob, I think you'd have difficulty finding a woman who wouldn't at some point find this a teensy bit difficult. But then true love never runs smoothly so as long as you were understanding and smoothed over any insecurities as soon as they arose I don't see why it would be a big problem.

Originally posted by Katsz1179
There is no way on hells earth that would happen, sorry Rob, because I have put up with that pain for 5 years! alot of the time we are at war! Although we do get on we don't have that much in common we were not compatible.

It actually does **** me off how some people have issues. I can see it from both sides of the coin but my argument is if you really really want to be with someone nothing will stop you in getting to know them and taking a risk. Just supposing that it is your soul companion. So many people let good things slip away and years later regret it.

If i dated someone I would still bring them around to the house, i didn't with my last boyfriend because it was too soon and raw for all involved. I'm not bothered if Rob brings a girl around, he's not bothered now if i bring a bloke around!

Also the house is on the market so it's not like a permanent arrangement anyway!

well if it really ****s you of that some people have issues then surely you don't see both sides of the coin do you?

perhaps some first hand experiences are in order!

Originally posted by kathythebean
Yeah Rob, I think you'd have difficulty finding a woman who wouldn't at some point find this a teensy bit difficult. But then true love never runs smoothly so as long as you were understanding and smoothed over any insecurities as soon as they arose I don't see why it would be a big problem.

I would expect problems so would not have any issues with being open and her meeting Katharine. Like she said above its not pernament and its a matter of the new person being understanding.

Like you said true love would come over this hurdle!!

as a man, I wouldn;t feel comfortable dating a girl who lived with her ex. I'd constantly have this nagging feeling that something was going on still.

Surely, from the very fact that you are so open with people about your situation, genuine people who are potential partners would have no cause to have a problem (or am I just odd in not having green eyed monsters?).

When we meet somebody and begin a relationship there is such a huge amount of assumed trust that doesn't exist in fact. We assume (well, most of us do) that our new partner is single, and that they don't have huge skeletons in their wardrobes, and that they aren't axe murderers/bigamists/drug dealers/paedophiles etc etc.

In some ways it would be a relief that so much of your life was open to view (and if you're mates then that means that neither of you has done anything truly heinous to the other- therefore you endorse each other's reliability as a partner).

Although you have an unusual set up currently, if I place myself as your hypothetical partner then I can honestly say that you would go up in my estimation because you have cooperated enough with each other to get to this point, rather than do the normal reaction to the break up which results in one ex partner ending up effectively homeless even though they own a share of a property.

It speaks of your respect for each other as human beings with equal rights, and you'd be amazed at the number of people for whom this goes out of the window during a relationship breakdown.

I think it depends on how mature everyone concerned is.

If a romantic relationship has irretrievably broken down, and the couple concerned are no longer a couple due to a mutual decision (ie neither partner is secretly wanting to revive the romance), then it seems a shame if they can't remain friends. Part of that might involve continuing to live in the same house until they are able to sell it.

Personally, I don't think I really see a problem with this, as long as everyone has trust in everyone else, and obviously that's up to the individuals concerned.

Not everyone will be grown up enough to handle this situation though, and many people will have trust issues with the whole thing. Really depends on the individual.

Hope that helps?

StarSparkle

Edit: PS - I've just read what Medusa's said, and I very much agree with her. I think it does show an admirable capacity for mutual respect, and that you are both essentially decent people, who are able to behave in a civilised manner under difficult circumstances. :thumbsup: I'd take that as a plus-factor

Thank you very much medusa and SS, very much appreciated:thumbsup:

What you have said is the same as me and Katharine. We both know are situation is unique and not normal but we both know that if/when someone comes into our lives if they are worth it they will be understanding.

Originally posted by RobT
Thank you very much medusa and SS, very much appreciated:thumbsup:

What you have said is the same as me and Katharine. We both know are situation is unique and not normal but we both know that if/when someone comes into our lives if they are worth it they will be understanding.

Glad to have been of some use, Rob, but PLEASE - my nickname is Sparkle! :o The leather and jack boots image aside, I confess to feeling slightly perturbed at being called SS..... :suspect:

Cheers!

Sparkle

Greetings, RobT. I hope you don't mind me stepping in with some words of my own.

It is my humble opinion that there are almost as many stances on the 'rights' and the 'wrongs' of relationships in this world as there are religions (over six and a half billion, the last time anybody checked). What is good and proper for one will not necessarily be the be-all-and-end-all for another.

With that said, I personally believe that you should do what is best for yourself. Will you feel discomfort if you were to present a new paramour to your former lover? Would you feel hurt if she reversed the tables? How would you feel if your newly acquired love was to introduce you to her housemate and previous (or perhaps even extant) partner?

Some people practice monogamy as if it were going out of fashion. They commit themselves to one person, and one person alone, for the rest of their days or so help me God! Others flit aimlessly from one lover to the next, hopping beds as freely as a bee does with flowers. Both of these approaches are wrong; both of these approaches are right.

Only one person can ever tell you if something is correct, and that is you my friend. If your former lover tells you that she has no objection to meeting any new flames in your life then what can you do but believe her? As I have said elsewhere, honesty truly is the best policy for relationships of any form. Be honest with future lovers and the 'issue' will never raise its head.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must tend to the fires. The wind blows chill in the manor tonight.

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Glad to have been of some use, Rob, but PLEASE - my nickname is Sparkle! :o The leather and jack boots image aside, I confess to feeling slightly perturbed at being called SS..... :suspect:

Cheers!

Sparkle

Sorry sparkle :D

Originally posted by byronshadow
Greetings, RobT. I hope you don't mind me stepping in with some words of my own.

It is my humble opinion that there are almost as many stances on the 'rights' and the 'wrongs' of relationships in this world as there are religions (over six and a half billion, the last time anybody checked). What is good and proper for one will not necessarily be the be-all-and-end-all for another.

With that said, I personally believe that you should do what is best for yourself. Will you feel discomfort if you were to present a new paramour to your former lover? Would you feel hurt if she reversed the tables? How would you feel if your newly acquired love was to introduce you to her housemate and previous (or perhaps even extant) partner?

Some people practice monogamy as if it were going out of fashion. They commit themselves to one person, and one person alone, for the rest of their days or so help me God! Others flit aimlessly from one lover to the next, hopping beds as freely as a bee does with flowers. Both of these approaches are wrong; both of these approaches are right.

Only one person can ever tell you if something is correct, and that is you my friend. If your former lover tells you that she has no objection to meeting any new flames in your life then what can you do but believe her? As I have said elsewhere, honesty truly is the best policy for relationships of any form. Be honest with future lovers and the 'issue' will never raise its head.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must tend to the fires. The wind blows chill in the manor tonight.

thanks byron:thumbsup:

Katharine and myself dont have any issues with the situation its other 'potential' partners who may.

But yes trust is a big thing. How is the new person meant to know we are not jumping into bed together?

Thats the tricky issue!!

I think you'll find Rob that there are probably more people that would feel uncomfortable with the situation than not.

Sparkle...
I know it's your opinion but I don't think it has anything at all to do with someone's maturity or how 'grown up' they are, you could be the most mature person on earth but if you have been involved in a similar situation to this where someone has been unfaithful then that could force you to avoid making that same mistake again.

Oooh I wouldn't deal with the situation at all well.... I think I speak for a fair few girls who have issues with "exes" and I freak out at the fact my boyf works with his let alone living under the same roof... I even got rid of his bed when i moved in.... I'm a nice girl and I trust him implicitley but I'm a girl and I suppose I may have some insecurity issues....

However part of that is due to the fact his ex is horrible. If she was nice it might be less of an issue...

I've been the ex and have always been lovely to my ex fiancee's girlfriend.... but equally - i didn't live with him....

Originally posted by twichibi
I think you'll find Rob that there are probably more people that would feel uncomfortable with the situation than not.

Sparkle...
I know it's your opinion but I don't think it has anything at all to do with someone's maturity or how 'grown up' they are, you could be the most mature person on earth but if you have been involved in a similar situation to this where someone has been unfaithful then that could force you to avoid making that same mistake again.

Part of growing up and maturing is realising that life can be very complicated, and that little in life is actually black-and-white, much as we'd like it to be.

Generally speaking, the older you get, (and the more relationships you have), the more emotional baggage you collect, and it's likely to be the same for your potential partners. This makes for complicated relationships all round.

Part of being an adult is accepting that no relationship can ever be perfect, that you will have to put up with some aspects of another person's life or past you may not be entirely happy with. But if you want to be with that person enough, you will be willing to compromise, at least enough so that you give the fledgling relationship a fighting chance of success.

Most of us, if not all, have been hurt in relationships, and maybe have had our trust betrayed, but does that mean we should give up on love? Personally, I don't think so.

StarSparkle

Thanks for your feedback everyone. Some negatives, as expected!

I think i prefer Sparkle's theory that any new person would be mature enough to deal with the situation:thumbsup:

Originally posted by byronshadow
Greetings, RobT. I hope you don't mind me stepping in with some words of my own.

It is my humble opinion that there are almost as many stances on the 'rights' and the 'wrongs' of ...

Greetings, byronshadow.

It is my humble opinion, that expressed opinions beginning 'It is my humble opinion', are anything but humble!

I do believe you, sir, have a fetish for flowery writings ...

:P

Of course, the content of your post was first rate.

Originally posted by RobT


I think i prefer Sparkle's theory that any new person would be mature enough to deal with the situation:thumbsup:

It's nowt to do with maturity.... It's to do with human nature and the all too natural feelings of jealousy and insecurity....

Not sure whether to feel offended or not!

Originally posted by absynthfairy
It's nowt to do with maturity.... It's to do with human nature and the all too natural feelings of jealousy and insecurity....

Not sure whether to feel offended or not!

Oh dear :( - I don't want to offend you, Absynthfairy, but I have to disagree with you here.

I do think maturity would play a part in whether a potential new partner was able to cope with Rob's situation or not. Granted, only a part - a person's basic personality and their 'trust-issues' or whatever would obviously play a big part too.

I wouldn't expect that someone, say in their early twenties, would have enough life-experence to take the situation in their stride. Generally - and I do say Generally - they are unlikely to have had much experience of complex romantic relationships where you can't finish with someone 'just like that' because you share a home, a mortgage, even children.

It sounds like Rob and his ex have come to a mutually acceptable and grown-up decision about how they will relate to each other in the future. It is perhaps unusual, in that they're behaving in a civilised manner rather than calling each other all the names under the sun, trying to take each other to the cleaner's etc. Other people may be confused by this, and rather than being impressed by their good sense and seeing it as an excellent blueprint for other couples to emulate, may well find it all a bit suspicious. I really think a lot of that is down to it being a bit unusual, leading to a lot of people having an innate suspicion about it.

I think a bit of maturity IS called for in this situation, from all parties. Part of that involves having trust/faith in your partner, that you don't have to be watching them 24 hours a day to know that they're not going to be cheating on you. If you're feeling jealousy - why is that? Does it really mean you don't trust them to behave themselves? I think personally that's quite insulting, really. It's like "oh my God, there's a person of the opposite sex in the bedroom next door to my boyfriend - he obviously won't be able to keep his hands off her". Oh please!! The couple concerned have obviously broken up for a reason, or they'd still be together.

Sorry to ramble on.....

StarSparkle

I think I would find it difficult, mostly because it is the house you set up together, so is still a couples' house, even if you are in seperate bedrooms...
think I would wait til the house was sold and you were in your new pad before I would be comfortable coming back to yours, although as you are single then dating wouldnt be a problem per se.
however, if you were both still going to be mates and hang around together once the house is sold I would eventually want to meet her, just not under your joint roof.

hope you both find happiness (and two great new homes) soon!

I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree that:

a) Maturity, and
b) Life experience

are deciding factors in this situation. I cannot see why someone who has had more 'life experience' would be better off in dealing with this situation. Surely it works both ways??

I now treat my ex husband like a brother, he means nothing at all to me and I have no feelings for him whatsoever even though we were together for 16 years.
If I still lived in the same house with him I'm sure his girlfriend would have a major issue with it and so would my boyfriend.

At the end of the day you are living with a girl who you used to bonk, even if not now...that girl will know you and your habits far better than anyone new in your lives because she lives with you. Scary

Originally posted by RobT
Thank you very much medusa and SS, very much appreciated:thumbsup:

What you have said is the same as me and Katharine. We both know are situation is unique and not normal but we both know that if/when someone comes into our lives if they are worth it they will be understanding.

who's to say what 'normal' is anyway?

youre obviously two pretty grounded and well adjusted people and I for one am awestruck with admiration that you can get to the place of being mates sharing a house for a while, and as has been said before, if a potential partner can't eventually get past the initial 'awkwardness' of the situation, then they arent really long term partner material in the first place.

:clap:

It wouldn't stop me from seeing a guy who was in that situation.

But if the relationship started getting a little more serious ( you know the little stage when you know you want to spend lots of time with this person and before you go 'I love you lots') then I think I would feel a little unsettled about my guy living with his ex. Especially if they were best mates !

Even if my rational side knew it was purely platonic, I think I'd wonder if there was a temptation from either one for a quickie under the duvet. Or subconcious hope from either one to get back together.

Though having your house on the market should be reassurance enough to any potential partner.

Originally posted by intooblivion
At the end of the day you are living with a girl who you used to bonk, even if not now...that girl will know you and your habits far better than anyone new in your lives because she lives with you. Scary

But isn't that the same about any of my x girlfriends?:confused:

Any person i have slept with or been intimate with will know more about me than a new partner surely??

Does that seem a bizarre comment and reasoning to anyone else?

Besides i dont have strange habits!!:thumbsup:

Originally posted by samc
It wouldn't stop me from seeing a guy who was in that situation.

But if the relationship started getting a little more serious ( you know the little stage when you know you want to spend lots of time with this person and before you go 'I love you lots') then I think I would feel a little unsettled about my guy living with his ex. Especially if they were best mates !

Even if my rational side knew it was purely platonic, I think I'd wonder if there was a temptation from either one for a quickie under the duvet. Or subconcious hope from either one to get back together.

Though having your house on the market should be reassurance enough to any potential partner.

I think samc has the best understanding of the situation (no offence to anyone else)

Bottom line is yes when (or if at this rate:thumbsup: ) i do start a new relationship i will still be living with Katharine.

I am not the sort of person to fall in love with someone straight away so i think that by the time i do propose my love to someone the house will be sold and we both would of gone our seperate ways.

Besides if that new person has their own place i would imagine i would spend most of my time there!! Though if she lives with her parents that could be tricky:suspect:

Just to clarify; though me and katharine do spend time together now when i or she meets someone new then i think we both realise we will then hardly see each other...we would have our own seperate lives.

In my original post i mentioned we go drinking together on a saturday night. I cant imagine any new girlfriend of mine would like to go out on a threesome to the pub and likewise for any new boyfriend of hers.

Similar to the fact anyone on here who shares a house with the same sex when you meet someone new i dont imagine your house mate follows you everywhere?

Makes sense to me!:thumbsup:

The relationship between me and Rob should have been over 2 maybe 3 years ago. It became habit. I don't want to go into detail or upset Rob, but trust me there is no temptation whatsoever. He gets on my nerves most of the time!

Do you think myself or anybody else in a similar position asked to be in such a situation, how trapped and frustrated do you think I feel. We are not living together by choice, if someone found a way for me to move out tomorrow I would!

I would like my own space, i'm sick of being in this situation. It's frustrating because I spilt with rob for many reasons. I've known him long enough to know that I don't want a future with him.

The underlying issue of this situation is trust. If you don't trust someone then what is the point in having a relationship with them? I can honestly say that I have never lied or cheated on anyone and I am one of the most loyal and devoted people you would ever meet.....because of this I get hurt.

When I was with my last boyfriend I never even looked at another bloke even though he used to openly make comments about other girls and ex's. He was my boyfriend and I wanted him and nobody else. I lost him and I believe part of the reason he ended our relationship was because of this situation.

sorry about the rant, but it's very frustrating.

Thanks to those who have showed some compassion and understanding.

Originally posted by Katsz1179
The relationship between me and Rob should have been over 2 maybe 3 years ago. It became habit. I don't want to go into detail or upset Rob, but trust me there is no temptation whatsoever. He gets on my nerves most of the time!

Do you think myself or anybody else in a similar position asked to be in such a situation, how trapped and frustrated do you think I feel. We are not living together by choice, if someone found a way for me to move out tomorrow I would!

I would like my own space, i'm sick of being in this situation. It's frustrating because I spilt with rob for many reasons. I've known him long enough to know that I don't want a future with him.

The underlying issue of this situation is trust. If you don't trust someone then what is the point in having a relationship with them? I can honestly say that I have never lied or cheated on anyone and I am one of the most loyal and devoted people you would ever meet.....because of this I get hurt.

When I was with my last boyfriend I never even looked at another bloke even though he used to openly make comments about other girls and ex's. He was my boyfriend and I wanted him and nobody else. I lost him and I believe part of the reason he ended our relationship was because of this situation.

sorry about the rant, but it's very frustrating.

Thanks to those who have showed some compassion and understanding.

i don't think its a case of jelousy,......its a case of peoples feeling about this sort of thing do not tend to obay the usual laws rationalisation.

Spangle's posts are very logical, and yes they make perfect sence, but don't you ever sometimes think to yourself "i have absolutely no idea why i feel this way, i just do",......and i wouldn't be comfortable with this, don't know why just wouldn't

good evidence that this isn't bull poo is that if you scroll up you'll see loads of people have the same thoughts!

noted you're not thanking people for taking the time to give their honest opinion, nobody'e being mean to you......just taking the time to be honest

Originally posted by Katsz1179
The relationship between me and Rob should have been over 2 maybe 3 years ago. It became habit. I don't want to go into detail or upset Rob, but trust me there is no temptation whatsoever. He gets on my nerves most of the time!

Cheers love:rolleyes:

Seriously, what Katharine has said is correct though she has her own unique way of putting me down in public when i have made no nasty remarks to her, but thats besides the point:rolleyes:

But yes relationship was/has been dead a long time and it was habit...dont want to bore you with the details!!

Naturally any new 'partner' will not be aware of this so thats where the tricky part comes into play!

Although Katharine has not thanked anyone i have taken the time to thank just about every individual person. If i have forgotten someone, i apologise.

Keep the feedback coming people, everything very much appreciated:thumbsup:

I think it's a brilliant situation that you're now getting on and good on you if you are both seeing other people.

I can't imagine anyone in the early stages of dating minding (if you don't tell them!)...

However, to be totally honest (and a pathetic female!), if I was seeing someone and it was getting relatively serious and I knew they were living with their ex, then I guess the little green monster would surface and I don't think I wouldn't be able to cope. I know it's sounds pathetic, but I get really annoyed now when my partner talks about his exs (none of them serious) and I have been with him 10 years!!! SO yes, it is a matter of trust but it's also a matter of how you deal with it...I wouldn't deal with it well unfortunately.

Originally posted by rocketpig

Spangle's posts are very logical and yes they make perfect sence, but don't you ever sometimes think to yourself "i have absolutely no idea why i feel this way, i just do",......



I never said nowt!
:o

Originally posted by Liose
I think it's a brilliant situation that you're now getting on and good on you if you are both seeing other people.

I can't imagine anyone in the early stages of dating minding (if you don't tell them!)...

However, to be totally honest (and a pathetic female!), if I was seeing someone and it was getting relatively serious and I knew they were living with their ex, then I guess the little green monster would surface and I don't think I wouldn't be able to cope. I know it's sounds pathetic, but I get really annoyed now when my partner talks about his exs (none of them serious) and I have been with him 10 years!!! SO yes, it is a matter of trust but it's also a matter of how you deal with it...I wouldn't deal with it well unfortunately.

To be honest i dont think anyone would cope very well if they knew we still lived together when the relationship started getting serious. Like you say that is human nature.

Dont think some people, no insult intended, have grasped that simple fact!! lol

What i want (dont know about katharine) is feedback about how that person would feel as the relationships begins.

Hopefully at most this situation will only last until the spring so not a great amount of time.

Hmm imagine, i meet the girl of my dream, fall in love, decided to get married, have kids and i still live with katharine. I think that is the kind of future some people think will happen!! lol

That was a joke by the way, not an attack on people who have posted:thumbsup:

Originally posted by RobT
To be honest i dont think anyone would cope very well if they knew we still lived together when the relationship started getting serious. Like you say that is human nature.

Dont think some people, no insult intended, have grasped that simple fact!! lol

What i want (dont know about katharine) is feedback about how that person would feel as the relationships begins.

Hopefully at most this situation will only last until the spring so not a great amount of time.

Hmm imagine, i meet the girl of my dream, fall in love, decided to get married, have kids and i still live with katharine. I think that is the kind of future some people think will happen!! lol

That was a joke by the way, not an attack on people who have posted:thumbsup:

I actually know someone who's been the new girlfriend in a set-up very similar to Rob and Katherine's.

She was a bit perplexed about it at first, but had enough trust in her partner (and was keen enough on him) for the relationship to get serious while he was still sharing the house with his ex.

The couple had originally been living together, then their romantic relationship broke down, but they were still friends and carried on sharing the house.

When the bloke's new relationship with the person I know started to get serious, his ex-girlfriend moved out.

Like I said, the person I know was a bit freaked with the idea to start with, but soon realised she had nothing to worry about. The relationship had become strictly platonic, and had been for quite some time.

The 'new couple' have been together for a number of years now. :thumbsup:

Just one real-life experience. Life ain't perfect, so you have to 'go with the flow'.

StarSparkle

PS No, it's not me, before you start! :o

Its hard to say either way, without knowing the people concerned.

What I'd ask is, why are you asking for advice? Is it because you suspect that it will stop you finding happiness with someone else?

I think if you are perfectly comfortable with your situation then you should carry on just as you are doing, but the fact you are posting on here suggests that you are not 100% comfortable with it.

I think that you probably know what you think is right and you are looking for confirmation.

hi
i was in the same situation - fortunately i got an oportunity to get out fairly early but was incredibly difficult dating and the majority were very uncomfortable with the situation, later one was ok and we had a semi-serious relationship for a while
But! on the otherhand my sister was told by a guy he was living under same room - it wasnt true and she ended up being followed by a private detective!

Always more than one angle eh?!

Originally posted by RobT
Cheers love:rolleyes:

Seriously, what Katharine has said is correct though she has her own unique way of putting me down in public when i have made no nasty remarks to her, but thats besides the point:rolleyes:

:

1. Be very careful what you say Rob!

2. Rocketpig what i'm saying is also try and see it from the person who lives with their ex's point of view too. It is a ****ing **** situation to be in. Like i said I've had a boyfriend since Rob he did not like the fact I lived with Rob. Put yourself in my shoes. It's all about trust.

Rob asked for advice, i'm trying to get people to also see it from our side!

Originally posted by Yodameister
Its hard to say either way, without knowing the people concerned.

What I'd ask is, why are you asking for advice? Is it because you suspect that it will stop you finding happiness with someone else?

I think if you are perfectly comfortable with your situation then you should carry on just as you are doing, but the fact you are posting on here suggests that you are not 100% comfortable with it.

I think that you probably know what you think is right and you are looking for confirmation.

Hello Yoda

Katharine and myself are both fine with our situation.

I originally put this thread but never asked for advice, just feedback about other people would cope if they came into our lives.