has anyone got any recent experience of dealing with the police in a domestic violence situation?

a friend is having problems with an ex partner who is convinced that if he keeps bullying her she will take him back. his behaviour extends to being menacing towards anyone who tries to help her.

going to the police will probably make him really angry and she is afraid to do this.

i would say the core of the problem is if she reports him to the police how quickly will they respond? its likely that he will come trying to break into her house to assault her as he has done this before.

what other protection can the police offer? any suggestions?

Tell her to try Relateline - 0845 130 40 10

They are there to discuss Relationship problems.

Isn't it a good idea for her to contact the police to let them know what is going on? They don't have to take any action right now. They'll keep a record of it, advise her what to do and if she does need them she'll know exactly who to ask for......

Hope that helps.........It's horrible, because you just don't know what to do for the best in that situation I guess.

I would advise her to talk quietly with the police, but to visit them at the station so that she's not seen with a car outside the house or whatever. They are fully aware that in some instances the issuing of a court restriction or prohibition order can actually be the event which tips somebody over into violence which has until then only been threatened.

They could put her in touch with resources which could help and advise her further, including if necessary getting her moved very quickly into a safe house or refuge for her own protection.

I have no real answers as to the 'right' course of action- this depends entirely on very private and minute details. What I know to be the wrong thing to do is to do nothing and trust that it will all work out in the end.