Hi

Just wondering if anyone on here could give me some advice...

Im a 26 year old single girl living in a beautiful town by the sea in Spain..Ive just started a new, fantastic well paid job that has taken me to Florida and will fly me to London this Sunday before settling down in an office in Barcelona...Ive seen some amazing places so far, had some great experiences...Ive got amazing friends...an amazing supportive family back in Sheffield..Ive got my 2 dogs that I adore...and I dont do bad in the looks department so Im told...basically, my life is perfect...

So why all of a sudden do I feel constantly worried, I feel anxious and sick all the time, Ive lost my appetite, Ive suddenly developed a fear of flying when Ive flown all over the world on my own since I was 18...but most of the time I dont even know why I feel like I do, because theres absolutely nothing wrong with my life? Sometimes I worry about irrational things and have this overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen anyday now, and I know it sounds morbid but I even worry about dying, wondering if Im going to see my next birthday, if Ill live to have kids of my own, if Ill ever see my parents and sisters again etc etc

Ive just started a new job, Im looking for a new house, Ive been travelling alot lately so Im thinking maybe all these new changes could add to it...but my life has always been like that...moving from city to country to house to job..2 years ago I upped and left for Spain on my own with a few grand in my back pocket with no idea where I would go or what I would do and I revelled in it!!!

Whats changed? Any advice from anybody who understands this or feels the same? Any tips?

Thankyou!

I sometimes feel like this from time to time, its an anxiety issue. I genuinely think there are too many choices and stresses in modern day life and too many demands on our time that people 30 years ago never had..I have also, like yourself, moved around a lot, starting when I was 7 years old which definately leads to feelings of insecurity and a feeling that things may 'end' at any time.

All I can say is, its important to find ways to de-stress and put life into perspective, having a healthy internal dialogue, keeping physically fit, surround yourself with positive people, limit time with negative people are ways of staying happy and to keep moving forward.

I think thats exactly it, there's too many choices and demands on our time, am I put myself under pressure thinking that theres a million things I should be doing..and its true that from moving around a lot, I am sort of waiting for this "chapter" of my life to end which makes me insecure.

I just hate the thought of having to "get myself through" life because life isnt something we should be "getting through", its something that is finate and could end anytime so we should be grabbing it with both hands..thats what I want to do and get rid of this feeling..Im going to revise my list of goals this year and move forward..

Thanks alot..really helped :)

Time to find a local CBT provider. I was considerably older than you with my life at a high point, kids settled, wife happy, enough money coming in to create a nice life and put some aside and I adored my job. Then wham I was exactly the same as you, woke up in a hotel one morning and couldn't face the day. Had to ring through and arrange all sorts of cover for my schedule then try and drive home from Newcastle on Tyne. Long story short it took 3 months sat at home like a zombie before I could go back to work. I am not qualified to tell you why you feel the way you do but the CBT guy I saw over a period of months was. He was great but I still have the odd bad day where I have some of the symptoms you describe.

I think thats exactly it, there's too many choices and demands on our time, am I put myself under pressure thinking that theres a million things I should be doing..and its true that from moving around a lot, I am sort of waiting for this "chapter" of my life to end which makes me insecure.

I just hate the thought of having to "get myself through" life because life isnt something we should be "getting through", its something that is finate and could end anytime so we should be grabbing it with both hands..thats what I want to do and get rid of this feeling..Im going to revise my list of goals this year and move forward..

Thanks alot..really helped :)

Im happy to help, you are not alone in feeling like this! thats a good motto 'to live each day like its your last' and i dont mean just partying and stuff..actually smelling the roses in life.:)

... or it could be hormonal

If you're absolutely certain you're not pregnant (which may have been one explanation), it could still be your hormones protesting at you not yet being in the family way, and encouraging you to settle down or nest

As it's such a quick fix, try taking evening primrose capsules for a week and see if you still feel the same way

There are also vitamins (can never remember if it's B6 or B12) which a deficiency of will make you feel like this

Lack of B12 can make you feel like that, pernicocious anemia (sp?) I suffer with it in pregnancy. I'd ask for a FBC with B12 screen from your Doctor. Multivitamins can help, as well as some breathing exercises

and without wishing to alarm you, those are also symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (sp?), which plays havoc with your hormones

I would def investigate this peewee. I had similar thing and eventually managed to explore what was going on using EFT, NLP and Hynotherapy which all helped to explore the things that set my anxiety off and were it was coming from ..so to speak.

Also, it does sound that you may be experiencing some adrenal issues. These glands aren't releasing their hormones optimally, people will not feel well. Anxiety is a common symptom.

I am a NHS mental health worker, if there are no underlying physical problems identified by your GP sounds like you could do with some advice about your options to help manage your anxiety psychologically with advice and support also from your GP. I think it would be helpful for you to learn about stress and how this affects you personally day to day. Stress can not only be caused by current pressures of daily living but also by unresolved distressing experiences from our past which may still need to be worked through. Our individual style of thinking can also affect how we interact with life such as whether you see a glass half full or half empty. If you see the glass as half empty your interaction with an experience or a person is likely to be a lot more stressful than the person who sees the glass half full. There are many different psychological models that can help, CBT is a model that can be used very quickly in helping to cope day to day but doesn't look in depth at the past. Find out about whats available, I'm sure you'd find something to suit you. Good luck!

Maybe you miss that significant other in your life?
U put on the top of the list that you were single, is that what bothers you?
It can be, I have a friend who has a lovely house, nice posh car, good job, lovely familly, lots of friends..perfect life but she is on "happy pills" because she is single for a while now.

I teach anxiety management. There are a lot of different treatments which can help, but i'd probably start with a service called IAPT which has free CBT therapists you can access through NHS. You can get a referral through your GP or you can self refer. There number will be on the internet. They provide cogntive behavioural therapy, counselling and referral or signposting you to other agencies which you may find helpful. After saying that when these new things in your life become more normal your symptoms may calm down anyway. Things like exercise, eating healthy and being kind to yourself doing nice things you enjoy in general will also help. Good luck!!

Just from a different angle, your original post was great sounds like you have an amazing life, however, it does sound pretty full on to me. No where in the text did I read what you did to relax, where was the "me time" in all that?

If the CBT doesn't help, or even alongside it why not try something like Yoga?
This along with the deep breathing and meditation exercises could be all that you need.

Just a bit of time out each day for yourself where you can relax and put everything into perspective helps a lot.

I think you need to really think about whether you are genuinely happy in the truest spiritual sense or not. At 26, you are still very young, to really find true happiness which nurtures your own heart. I would listen to that gut instinct though. About the end of life, and so forth and this "fear" that hangs over you.

Many people either believe in psychology, or they believe in religion (and therefore spirituality). I think your gut instinct is pretty true, in the sense that, it is trying to tell you to reflect on your own life, and make changes which makes you happier.

There are indeed a lot of different kind of methods for you to find some kind of ways to get out of this slowly. You are young and you still have time to find a way of life and a path to follow which suits well for yourself.

Have you ever read the Alchemist ? It is a good book! Also, I know that the UK is moving towards the US model, whereby people uses psychology, than to be a part of a social group for well-beings or to follow a religion. Humans are really not made to be alone on their own, or to work such a hard life with no contact for their own loved ones. They are also not made to be so against their own true nature and Self.

In Freudian terms, it sounded like you have been living as your own Shadow, and not as your true Self. i.e. living your life due to fear propelling you to, than to live your life due to wanting to explore and doing something that energises you.

It makes absolutely no difference what kind of "great" life you are living, if that life is not what your gut instinct truly tells you that you want. It is only great in some people's eyes, or the perception of others, but not what you can find association with and recognises for yourself.

When you left the country, you were breaking free and trying new and different things. Your heart will be happy. But, as you are older now, you need to find that true vocation or calling that really energises you. If you have made any decision at any point from then til now, about something which does not sit well with your heart, then bingo! You got your stressor point, or path detor path, whatever you like to call it. Living a lifestyle which allows you to be say 70%+ of your true self will make you happier.

Hi, I used to worry all the time about everything, there was no logical explanation for it and I would worry about things that I never used to worry about. I went and had hypnotherapy with a lovely lady called Bev and it was brilliant. I only went once and I'm loads better so maybe try that

I think anxiety can be caused by stress. Stress from a busy lifestyle, a busy job, but also 'self-made' stress (trying to be perfect all the time or not wanting to fail).

Hi, I'm sending you a p.m. Thanks Nyle

Thank you for all of your replies on this, I'm sorry I haven't kept up to date on this thread, I think I've been accidently on purpose not wanting to face it again for the time being.....:(

I've read through them and there have been a few very, helpful different perspectives that have made me stop and think. I appreciate every reply, but the following ones stuck out for me...

Just from a different angle, your original post was great sounds like you have an amazing life, however, it does sound pretty full on to me. No where in the text did I read what you did to relax, where was the "me time" in all that?

If the CBT doesn't help, or even alongside it why not try something like Yoga?
This along with the deep breathing and meditation exercises could be all that you need.

Just a bit of time out each day for yourself where you can relax and put everything into perspective helps a lot.

I think this is the very crux of the problem, some time has passed since my original post and I am still suffering from the same symptoms, but I've been able to pinpoint the source, being that my life is in such a stressful routine that I can't seem to break out of, and that routine includes zero/next to none "me time". I need to relax and disconnect but I don't seem to have the time. My routine everyday is:

Get up at 7am; walk dogs; feed dogs; catch 2 trains to work; work 9 until 6; get 2 trains back arrive at 7; buy food/shopping for dinner; get home at 7.30; let dogs out to pee; feed dogs; do house tasks (usually cleaning up after dogs and giving them what they need), make dinner, wash up, walk dogs, have shower, maybe call my family, go to bed between 10 and 11pm. Everyday Monday to Friday. I have no freedom because of the dogs and have to rush back home every day. I feel guilty going out and leaving them as they are already alone for 12 hours a day.

On saturdays I clean the house from top to bottom and do my washing as during the week I dont get much time, and with 2 dogs its necessary. I'll usually pop out to get stuff that I need in terms of shopping, and then maybe on a Saturday evening I'll get a couple of hours to myself before my OH comes over for the night. I live alone so I have no family to help me or anybody to come home to, and the truth be known I'm lonely and exhausted. I constantly turn inviations from friends as I simply dont have the time, and even if I do, I need to look after my dogs, they get little enough time as it is. Maybe sundays I'll get a little time to myself, but living like that the whole week for the sake of a few hours on Sunday is not living to me...

So there it is, my life as it currently stands...I've been to the docs and my blood test has come back clear. On 17th October I have an appointment with the psychiatrist and I reckon he will just give me tablets, I think I've accepted the fact that I'm sufferening from depression and need some help..

I think you need to really think about whether you are genuinely happy in the truest spiritual sense or not. At 26, you are still very young, to really find true happiness which nurtures your own heart. I would listen to that gut instinct though. About the end of life, and so forth and this "fear" that hangs over you.

Many people either believe in psychology, or they believe in religion (and therefore spirituality). I think your gut instinct is pretty true, in the sense that, it is trying to tell you to reflect on your own life, and make changes which makes you happier.

There are indeed a lot of different kind of methods for you to find some kind of ways to get out of this slowly. You are young and you still have time to find a way of life and a path to follow which suits well for yourself.

Have you ever read the Alchemist ? It is a good book! Also, I know that the UK is moving towards the US model, whereby people uses psychology, than to be a part of a social group for well-beings or to follow a religion. Humans are really not made to be alone on their own, or to work such a hard life with no contact for their own loved ones. They are also not made to be so against their own true nature and Self.

In Freudian terms, it sounded like you have been living as your own Shadow, and not as your true Self. i.e. living your life due to fear propelling you to, than to live your life due to wanting to explore and doing something that energises you.

It makes absolutely no difference what kind of "great" life you are living, if that life is not what your gut instinct truly tells you that you want. It is only great in some people's eyes, or the perception of others, but not what you can find association with and recognises for yourself.

When you left the country, you were breaking free and trying new and different things. Your heart will be happy. But, as you are older now, you need to find that true vocation or calling that really energises you. If you have made any decision at any point from then til now, about something which does not sit well with your heart, then bingo! You got your stressor point, or path detor path, whatever you like to call it. Living a lifestyle which allows you to be say 70%+ of your true self will make you happier.

I completely agree with this, but I really don't know what steps to take to change my life/situation. Every way I turn to change my life is a major decision that I'm too scared to make and I'm still not sure of what it is I need to do. Do I come home to Sheffield and be with my family? Will I be happy back in the UK? What if I can't get a job? I definately won't earn as much as I do here for a fact, is money enough to keep me here then? Where will I live? If I stay here do I stay, take the tablets and hope for the best? Do I stay and send my dogs to my family in the UK who adore them? Will I be happy without them as they are my babies and the only thing waiting for me when I get home at night and I am all they have ever known? Each one is a major decision that will change my life dramatically one way or another...

I need time and space to think which I can't seem to create for myself...

Thank you for all of your replies on this, I'm sorry I haven't kept up to date on this thread, I think I've been accidently on purpose not wanting to face it again for the time being.....:(

I need time and space to think which I can't seem to create for myself...

I have a similar pattern. I am up at 5:45am to walk the dog, get to work at 7am. 3 times a week I work an 11 hour day then go to the gym so get in about 7pm at night, my boyf walks the dogs on these days in the late afternoon. I then work two 8 hour days and go home to walk the dog. I play netball 2/3 times a week and spend two hours at the weekend doing doggy agility. It is hard work and I have no idea how people with children cope! I also have a great boyf and we do 'shifts' to stay in the house in the evening mid-week. I can imagine it is hard if you are on your own.

For me my 'me time' is when I am walking the dog and playing sport, I can walk for a couple of hours and think of nothing. I love looking around and seeing the seasons change and the different plants and animals around. I've only recently started to notice how beautiful everything is, maybe it is an age thing :suspect: you do have to make a concious effort to look and notice how pretty things really are and the dog walks no longer feel like a task but a treat :) I love sport/gym and it makes me feel so much better afterwards. Do you like cycling or jogging? Might make you feel better and the dogs can come along too! What about some sort of doggy sport? I look forward to my Saturday dog agility sessions and have met some lovely people.

I do think you have made a good choice to speak to someone about how you feel. Sometimes we take on too much, sometimes it takes a while to adjust to change and sometimes we have to be brave and make some adjustments or changes to make it feel 'right' . I've been much happier since I decided not to take work so seriously and decided that my outside life is more important! In the end I will be working for another 30+ years, there is plenty of time to stress myself out over it! :hihi: