I find it extremely difficult to trust my boyfriend (of six months). I've known him for a few years and he'd always said that he was more than happy being single and would never want to be tied to sleeping with just one person.

Since we've been together he's said that he's "changed" and has never touched another women and doesn't want to, but how do I know whether to trust him?

I have tried to finish things but get sucked back in by the way I feel about him. He gets angry with me when I get upset about it, but recently he has been checking my phone and questioning me on when and what I've text people and acting a little nervous. Is this a sign that he's feeling guilty about something??

I keep telling myself that no one could tell someone they love them and then be able to sleep with someone else, but I know that there are a lot messed up people out there, how do I know if he is one of them???

You can drive yourself mad thinking about things like this and it doesn't help. You can go round and round in circles distrusting each other!

Make sure you're happy in other areas of your life, make lots of good loyal friends, advance your career, spend time with your family and find some hobbies you enjoy.

Then if you're really happy it'll really show, and make you someone he won't ever want to let go. Don't become obsessed with what he's doing and where he's going, he'll just resent it.

so before you were together he said he wouldn't want to be tied to sleeping with one girl and now your going out with him he says that he isn't interested with anyone else- that sounds like good news to me!!!

and if you keep on trying to finish him of course he will think there is something going on- he will think that your finishing him for someone else!!!

Relax, enjoy the relationship- if he cheats on you then he cheats on you- nothing u can do save following him around checking up on him and you don't wanna do that do you!!!

It is possible for people to change like that especially if they've never experienced what it's like to be 'in love' with someone. Like Kathy said you'll end up doing your nut

Originally posted by Jojo2

I keep telling myself that no one could tell someone they love them and then be able to sleep with someone else, but I know that there are a lot messed up people out there, how do I know if he is one of them???

Take a good look at yourself. Do you feel you deserve to be treated like this?

I think you've answered your own question and are possibly awaiting advice on how to sever this so-called relationship.

Make today a new day, one where you are treated with the dignity and respect that you deserve. Say 'goodbye' to him and 'hello' to yourself.

And tomorrow? It's a new day. GOOD LUCK.

Sounds as tho' if he's checking your texts and who you've seen and where you've been is a classic case of his chickens coming home to roost.
If he was always playing around before he met you, then now that he's serious about you, he's realised how easy it is to play away and maybe that's why he's checking up on you.
It's a vicious circle of doubt, you both need to let go of the past and enjoy your present together or any future you may have will be tainted.

i agree with kathy on this. Me and my ex did this for many years and all it did was lead us to split in the end we could have shared 7 wonderfull years together but instead we just went around in circles accusin each other of allsorts all the time.. what a waste!!!!!

as difficult as it is to trust someone in life it has to be done if you wish to be truly happy and yes its extrememly difficult but surely its better to enjoy the time together rarther than sat wonderin wheres he been and with who trust me hun if he is youll find out eventually one was or the other and you can deal with it then if ever you actually need to.

good luck

Agree with Katy and Kathy. Deal with it or get out of the relationship before you are at each others throats for real.

It takes two to bring trust to a relationship. This is not given freely, but must be earnt. How? Give some-one the rope and see if they hang themselves.

You have to start somewhere. And if it looks like it is going topsy turvy, then start anew and see if you can make it work - but remember - it takes two and both have to be willing.

Dragon

Trust is such a hard thing to have.

I have ALWAYS had issues with trust and have never trusted anyone completely - for many reasons, but mostly because everyone I have ever trusted - family and boyfriends alike have broken my trust in varying ways and magnitudes, but all resulted in the same loss of trust.

From a relationship POV, I have never been with someone who I have trusted implicitly, that is until I met my current boyfriend, who I have been with for just over 2 months (a short time I know).
I have never doubted him in any way and I truely trust him implicitly. This is a very hard thing for me to admit, but it feels great. I have NO doubts in my mind about him and his honesty and it is so refreshing.
I can't even explain why I feel this way, apart from our depth of feelings for each other that is. We have both been through enough in our pasts to bring a wealth of experience to our relationship and we both know just how good we are together and we cherish that. We are both 28 btw.
I think trust takes time and it really is the make or break of a relationship.

I wish you all the luck in the world and I agree with other people's advice of respect yourself and make yourself happy - with good loyal friends, outside interests etc etc. The strength you gain from this, will help with the trust issues you have.

x

I suggest you have a good think about whether you should actually be with your boyfriend if you don't trust him. Seriously, if this gets to much and you end up questioning his every move he will get fed up and just go..

Regardless of what people think, people can say one thing and then change into another, meet someone who changes their life and direction completely.

Its happened to me very recently.

Some really good advice your getting here Jo

People can change, but if the relationship is made unhealthy by a lack of trust, then there is no point draining the both of your emotions.

I'ts a difficult one, cos how can you change your feelings to trust someone you don't feel like you can trust? Even if they havent done anything?

Originally posted by Jojo2
I find it extremely difficult to trust my boyfriend (of six months). I've known him for a few years and he'd always said that he was more than happy being single and would never want to be tied to sleeping with just one person.

Since we've been together he's said that he's "changed" and has never touched another women and doesn't want to, but how do I know whether to trust him?

I have tried to finish things but get sucked back in by the way I feel about him. He gets angry with me when I get upset about it, but recently he has been checking my phone and questioning me on when and what I've text people and acting a little nervous. Is this a sign that he's feeling guilty about something??

I keep telling myself that no one could tell someone they love them and then be able to sleep with someone else, but I know that there are a lot messed up people out there, how do I know if he is one of them???
Jeez..some people are so fecked up in the head and manage to make even the simple things complicated.
I suggest you look at yourself first and the mess that goes on in your brain before you get a free, one way ticket to dumpsville.

Thanks for replies,

Better get my dancing shoes on and be out with the girls this weekend then.

Cheers guys x x

Originally posted by Jojo2
Thanks for replies,

Better get my dancing shoes on and be out with the girls this weekend then.

Cheers guys x x
Yeah..coz that solves everything until you get tanked up on 2 bacardi breezers, ring him up at 2 in the morning trying to proclaim your undying love (usually only because you failed to pull that night) then wonder why he tells you to sod off and leave him alone you bunny boiling freak because he's actually got sick and tired of your constant whining and gone and found a proper bird who'll let him cop off with her twin sister at the same time.

You sound like every birds dream fella wibbles, :gag:

It's no wonder girls end up feeling un-confident and un-trusting with c**ks like you in the world,

Go and get a proper shag bird here www.birdsofbritain.co.uk/bird-guide/shag.htm

Closest youll get! By the way I've reported you to the RSPB

Your right, real girlfriends do tend to let their boyfriends sleep with their friends and family????

I'm sure that there are plenty of great girls out there just waiting for you guys with incestuous fantasies.

I must be a real fool to expect my boyfriend to only have sex with me....

You chose to be with your girlfriend when you say yes or asked her out, no other women should come into it :loopy: or maybe I'm just a good lad.

Originally posted by Jojo2
I find it extremely difficult to trust my boyfriend (of six months). I've known him for a few years and he'd always said that he was more than happy being single and would never want to be tied to sleeping with just one person.

Since we've been together he's said that he's "changed" and has never touched another women and doesn't want to, but how do I know whether to trust him?

I have tried to finish things but get sucked back in by the way I feel about him. He gets angry with me when I get upset about it, but recently he has been checking my phone and questioning me on when and what I've text people and acting a little nervous. Is this a sign that he's feeling guilty about something??

I keep telling myself that no one could tell someone they love them and then be able to sleep with someone else, but I know that there are a lot messed up people out there, how do I know if he is one of them???

It sounds to me like your insecurity has driven him to act the same. I say to myself the same thing that he was saying, but I know deep down that if I met a girl I liked a LOT, staying faithful would be no issue.

Has he done or said anything whilst you've been together that might lead to you thinking the worst of him?

I feel sorry for him. All women say men are w@nkers for hurting women, but I guarantee that they act like that from being hurt by a woman once upon a time. Swings and roundabouts darling, get over it or live your life insecure.

Originally posted by Jess22
You sound like every birds dream fella wibbles, :gag:

It's no wonder girls end up feeling un-confident and un-trusting with c**ks like you in the world,

Go and get a proper shag bird here www.birdsofbritain.co.uk/bird-guide/shag.htm

Closed youll get! By the way I've reported you to the RSPB
aww..boo hoo.
I happen to be in a long long term grown up relationship...you were just too much of an easy target as are most of the other sad muppets who choose to air their personal relationship problems in a public forum.
By the way..I've reported you to the RSPCA for cruelty to rabbits.

I find it extremely difficult to trust my boyfriend (of six months). I've known him for a few years and he'd always said that he was more than happy being single and would never want to be tied to sleeping with just one person.

Since we've been together he's said that he's "changed" and has never touched another women and doesn't want to, but how do I know whether to trust him?

I have tried to finish things but get sucked back in by the way I feel about him. He gets angry with me when I get upset about it, but recently he has been checking my phone and questioning me on when and what I've text people and acting a little nervous. Is this a sign that he's feeling guilty about something??

I keep telling myself that no one could tell someone they love them and then be able to sleep with someone else, but I know that there are a lot messed up people out there, how do I know if he is one of them???


Wonder if 3 years on what happened ?

Was he to be trusted or not in the end ? ;)

Wonder if 3 years on what happened ?

Was he to be trusted or not in the end ? ;)

Well something is keeping her busy, she hasn't been on SF in well over a year :D

Yep..... they are all mental :hihi:

Yep..... they are all mental :hihi:

Who is all mental? and why :suspect: