I finished work a year ago due to ill health and ever since then I've been at home most of the time. At first I used to try and get out of the house everyday, mainly just to the supermarket but also to Meadowhall now and again.

Over the past 6 months or so, I haven't even been to Meadowhell, I won't drive into town - I hate driving in busy traffic and don't drive any distance because I get too tired.

I go to the odd Wednesday night meet, but other than that, I don't like leaving the house. I think of all sorts of reasons and excuses for not going out, and get people to come to me rather than me meeting them - I think it's now getting to be a bit of a problem because when I do think about going somewhere I start to feel a bit panicky. I'm not too bad if there is someone with me.

Things have happened that mean I'm going to have to start going to the Hallamshire, and I've already started worrying about how I'm going to get there ... and how I can get out of going ... even though I do want to go.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you overcome it?

I have sent you a PM sweetie xxx

I haven't yet ;)

Well not fully anyway :(

Talk to you next week about it :)

Sounds like agoraphobia, fear of open spaces. You might need to talk to a psychologist.
It can become quite a handicap.I hope that you can overcome it soon.

regards Pete.

Thank you everyone!

Silly thing is, I don't think i'm frightened of anything/anyone but as soon as anyone mentions going out, then my pulse starts to race and i always think of a 101 reasons/excuses for not going.

If someone said: you never need to leave your house again - i'd breathe a sigh of relief :confused:

I went through a similar thing Hels

I have a long term problem that I cope with now but at it's very worst I spent over two years going stir crazy

I had to force myself to go to doctor and hospital appointments or see my family/friends. The problem for me was I never knew from one hour to the next how I would be physically. I could walk to the local shops when I felt well, I wouldn't always be able to get back though. I started avoiding going out because I lost confidence in my physical ability to sustain the effort. Once I started doing that I lost the stimulus you only get from mixing with people. I still had family and friends who would come round if I was up to it but it wasn't the same as getting out and about and playing in the real world. I found I was living in my head too much as well so I started writing again as an outlet and it helped a lot, in fact it probably kept me sane!
*not sure my family would agree with that....
But no matter how upbeat you try to keep yourself in the long term a health problem that keeps you out of the loop does affect your confidence

Nip this in the bud now Hels before it gets worse, for every appointment that you don't want to go to make sure you plan another outing of something you really want to do....be as selfish or sybaritic as you like! Yeah, you'll have to force yourself to do it at first but it gets easier

Just hope you find that balance a damned sight quicker than I did! :D

I hope you get over your health problems soon.....now get out there and reclaim your life! ;)

Originally posted by Splodge_CRB


Nip this in the bud now Hels before it gets worse, for every appointment that you don't want to go to make sure you plan another outing of something you really want to do....be as selfish or sybaritic as you like! Yeah, you'll have to force yourself to do it at first but it gets easier

I will agree with that.
You should try to get out as much as possible Hels. Even if you don't have an appointment, force yourself out.
Get a close friend round to go with you. Even if it's only to the shops.... Just do it regularly :)

Hi Hels,

Does sound like you're suffering a little from agarophobic feelings; it's worth pointing out that whilst agoraphobia (from the Roman Agora - their open market square) is traditionally viewed as the fear of open spaces, it can often also be a fear of the people and events that can happen in those spaces - a subtle but important difference for some people. Some agoraphobics would be quite happy in the middle of a field because there are no people there!

The most important thing at this stage is to get out each day, even if it's just a walk around the block. If you go further afield, ensure you have a cell phone bus fare and a ten pound note - the latter for the taxi fare home if it gets too bad.

Meadowhall is hell on wheels for many of us, Hels - a phobia should be judged by how it impacts your life. I dislike Meadowhall intensley - I've had mild panic attacks there and go there as infrequently as possible.

For longer trips, get a friend to chum you along or even arrange to meet a friend when you're in town. They can then sit with you and chill you out if you're a bit nervous. Don't push yourself too hard, and don't get too anxious about it.

If you do end up with therapy, they'll probably use cognitive behavioural therapy, which is a 'talking and doing' approach to get you comfortable with dealing with your fears, and occasionally an SSRI like Prozac is prescribed to dull down any obsessional behaviours or fears. It's a while before you get there, yet, and I'm sure at this stage it's the sort of thing that can be dealt with.

Cheers,

Joe

Originally posted by Hels
Thank you everyone!

Silly thing is, I don't think i'm frightened of anything/anyone but as soon as anyone mentions going out, then my pulse starts to race and i always think of a 101 reasons/excuses for not going.

If someone said: you never need to leave your house again - i'd breathe a sigh of relief :confused:

This sounds very like agoraphobia, Hels.

As a former sufferer myself, I can tell you to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. If left to its own devices, the chances are it will just get bigger and bigger, until it takes over your life completely, and your life is literally restricted to the four walls of your house. :(

Go and see your doctor and get some medication. Prozac was a miracle-worker for me, but it doesn't work for everyone. You might need some medication for anxiety as well. I'm never sure how useful counselling is, but it seems to work very well for some people. A counsellor will come to your house if need be.

You must take some action now, though, Hels. PM me if you think it might help.

Take care.

StarSparkle

Hels, it is not getting to be a problem; it IS a problem. The really great thing is that you've recognised it and are looking at ways in which to tackle it so that it doesnt rule your life. You've received some really great suggestions about how to deal with it and I am sure you will overcome it.

hi, hels sent you a pm:clap:

Oh Hels- this must be so scary for you! But there are plenty of things that can be done to manage panic reactions.

My home help and a very good friend have both had phases of panic attacks (although different phobias) which became very limiting in the sense that the fear of having the panic attacks became a self fulfilling prophecy. They became so anxious about panicking that of course they panicked.

Both have had pharmaceutical help, with moderate success, but for both the feelings of being able to cope improved dramatically with hypnotherapy. In one case, one session was enough to help a person go from being so claustrophobic that she needed to be restrained on a plane, to a smiling passenger on her way on holiday. I think that both of them are converts to hypnotherapy in a big style.

It is really important to recognise that all panic reactions are effectively the same, and that there are standard things that can be done to improve your own situation, including not backing down from the problems. The more you allow yourself to only stay in your comfort zone, the harder it will be to get out of again, and whatever treatment you have to help yourself out of this, you will still need a decent bit of strong resolve yourself to not back down (we all know that backing down is easier).

Well done for recognising that something needs to be done, and good luck with getting the help that you need.

Originally posted by Hels
I finished work a year ago due to ill health and ever since then I've been at home most of the time. At first I used to try and get out of the house everyday, mainly just to the supermarket but also to Meadowhall now and again.

Over the past 6 months or so, I haven't even been to Meadowhell, I won't drive into town - I hate driving in busy traffic and don't drive any distance because I get too tired.

I go to the odd Wednesday night meet, but other than that, I don't like leaving the house. I think of all sorts of reasons and excuses for not going out, and get people to come to me rather than me meeting them - I think it's now getting to be a bit of a problem because when I do think about going somewhere I start to feel a bit panicky. I'm not too bad if there is someone with me.

Things have happened that mean I'm going to have to start going to the Hallamshire, and I've already started worrying about how I'm going to get there ... and how I can get out of going ... even though I do want to go.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you overcome it?

There is only one way to overcome it I'm afraid. Make yourself go out as often as possible.

Originally posted by peterdo
Sounds like agoraphobia, fear of open spaces. You might need to talk to a psychologist.
It can become quite a handicap.I hope that you can overcome it soon.

regards Pete.

my dads had bad agrophobia for the past 20 years, only just starting to cycle to the local shop and managed to get to his mums funeral with us.

it all started with panic attacks i think

he collapsed once when we went to fox house as a family, since then he had panic attacks that got worse and worse till he couldnt leave the house

As a sufferer from agoraphobia myself I would deffinately say go see a doctor as soon as possible and try and get it sorted. As Joe pointed despite the name agoraphobia is not just a fear of open spaces - typically it involves fears surrounding situations where you don't feel immediately in controll or able to escape from (common proble areas are public transport, cinemas, eating out) and it very frequently involves specific (often social) phobias.

Currently the waiting list for CBT on the NHS is aproximately 9 months by which time your problem could have escalated so it may be worth your while looking into private therapy which may seem excessive but agoraphobia can be a real long term problem and at the stage it sounds like your at should only take a few sessions to combat :)

I'm amazed at how many people have experienced similar feelings.

Thank you for all your support. I bit the bullet and went out tonight (with a good friend for support) and met up with fellow forumers to go to fuel.

For some strange reason, going out at night isn't half as bad as through the day, not sure why that is?

But tomorrow, i've set myself a little objective. A friend is going to come with me and i'm going to go to see my daughter in the afternoon. It'll be the first time in months that i've driven over there, so it will be an achievement.

:thumbsup: