I see so many discussions on this forum where there has been an incident and the poster wants to know what has happened, but end with the statement " I hope they are ok" or similar.

Do they really care what has happenned or are they being nosy, and to cover their nosyness adding this comment. (If that is a proper word but you know what mean)

To me it seems to be a very false statement most of the time.

I think you're probably right.

I've noticed that too. It goes without saying that we would all hope that anyone involved in any accident is ok. I think it may be a way of making the post seem not quite so nosy/nosey, and to show that the poster is a really caring, thoughtful person. It's a nice gesture, but not really necessary.

I see so many discussions on this forum where there has been an incident and the poster wants to know what has happened, but end with the statement " I hope they are ok" or similar.

Do they really care what has happenned or are they being nosy, and to cover their nosyness adding this comment. (If that is a proper word but you know what mean)

To me it seems to be a very false statement most of the time.

Or starts with Oh my god or OMG (drama queens and I mean either sex).
Oh my Buddha.:hihi:

I think that it is something that is deep within the human 'psyche'. We all to some extent and for some reason, thrive on bad news. Its probably because it makes us feel happier or luckier that we are in a safer, more comfortable place than the unfortunate soul involved.

I think that it is something that is deep within the human 'psyche'. We all to some extent and for some reason, thrive on bad news. Its probably because it makes us feel happier or luckier that we are in a safer, more comfortable place than the unfortunate soul involved.

There we have it, those who start threads expressing concern have sad souls who are excited by bad news.

"My thoughts are with the family" really annoys me, like these people wander round thinking about every family (of total strangers) who have had a tragedy that day, like Oldtrout said it's just a version of "I'm not morbid and nosey really"

It's like an electronic version of rubber necking at accidents on the motorway.

The technical description is 'Nosey Parker'.

Perhaps they're just following the social convention. We do it all the time:

Hi, how are you? Please just say "fine" because I don't want to hear the details.
Did you have a good weekend? I don't care what you did at the weekend.
How are the kids? I'm not even sure if you have any kids.
You look lovely today! Have you put on weight? You've obviously been ill.
Sorry to hear you didn't get that promotion. You really didn't deserve that promotion.

Everyone's always bitching on here - look its called sheffield forum because its for the people of sheffield and anyone else who holds an interest and everyone is entitled to ask about something that may have occurred somewhere in sheffield, they may not neccessarily get an answer but if you dont ask you dont get.

I think you're wrong, at least talking from a personal viewpoint. Take the little boy who was knocked down last week, I genuinely wanted to know the boy was ok and was upset to hear he'd been knocked down, I don't have to know a fellow human being to feel for them, and wish them well.

I think you're wrong, at least talking from a personal viewpoint. Take the little boy who was knocked down last week, I genuinely wanted to know the boy was ok and was upset to hear he'd been knocked down, I don't have to know a fellow human being to feel for them, and wish them well.

hey,

i just meant its ok to ask and of course its ok to 'hope the person is ok'

Some of these comments fall into the categories of politeness, reassurance, civility and humanity. Then obviously as described by some there is also the category of cynical.

But some sorrowful threads are also attention seeking or narcissistic. (P.S. Not many thankfully)

I guess there's nothing we can do about it - curiousity is part of human nature, so nosy people will always be there.
And about all the "hope it's ok" people - they just follow the conventions. It's as simple as that. It's just as normal as saying "hello" to your neighbours.
At least, in my opinion.

A neighbour one side looks across the wall and says "Lend me your lawnmower?". On the other side, the neighbour says "Hi pal, how's things? Could I borrow your lawnmower, please?"

I guess it's 50/50 which one gets to borrow the lawnmower?

Personally, I'd lend it to the first one. The 2nd is clearly just being nosey :|

I'd lend it to the second because the first cannot construct a sentence correctly!

I guess there's nothing we can do about it - curiousity is part of human nature, so nosy people will always be there.
And about all the "hope it's ok" people - they just follow the conventions. It's as simple as that. It's just as normal as saying "hello" to your neighbours.
At least, in my opinion.

I don't, I say "good morning", or stop and say "How's things", others I may just nod.

A neighbour one side looks across the wall and says "Lend me your lawnmower?". On the other side, the neighbour says "Hi pal, how's things? Could I borrow your lawnmower, please?"

I guess it's 50/50 which one gets to borrow the lawnmower?

Personally, I'd lend it to the first one. The 2nd is clearly just being nosey :|

I'd lend it to the second because their more civil, unless I know them to be a blagger who creeps using the laws of social facilitation.

its people wanting to be nosy and vicarious

I'd lend it to the second because the first cannot construct a sentence correctly!

He's Australian, obviously! :)

"My thoughts are with the family" really annoys me, like these people wander round thinking about every family (of total strangers) who have had a tragedy that day, like Oldtrout said it's just a version of "I'm not morbid and nosey really"


In my case, if anyone were to use that phrase when I die it would just be wrong and insensitive. My family were bloody awful and I want nothing to do with any of them! I have used the phrase, but only in situations where I know there is family that merits the thought.

As for 'hope they're OK', I see it as a message of goodwill just in case anyone involved happens to read the forum. There have been cases of incidents that have been discussed concerning strangers, but then it emerges that the person has been told of the thread and finds it genuinely touching that people wished them well.


ETA Thinking about it, the family thoughts thing I tend to phrase differently, the standard version sounds too automatic.