Breastfeeding in public [Archive]

peakma

26-10-2005, 00:44

I breast fed my 3 kids in public, if they want it then why not give it them.I found it a bit weird at the very beginning, but my breasts soon turned into"my babies dinner" rather than "my sexual private areas" in my mind. It is just so easy, perfect temperature,no steralizing, antibodies to help keep them well,the perfect measurement of vitamins and minerals.
some people just don't know where to put their eyes, can't help but look but don't mean to.Some people look and see the beauty of the mother and baby bond( irrelevant that it includes a "breast") and look on with an ahh.I've been around some people who were uncomfortable but not really dissaproving.Most people just don't notice.
I just stopped feeding my daughter (at last!) last wednesday, she is 27 months old,I'd been half heartedly trying to stop for almost a year! She just really loved it, wasn't intrested in a bottle, and it was my easy way to get her off to sleep! But I felt she was too old to still be feeding.What are other peoples views on what age you should stop ? I haven't fed her in public for over 6 months, because I felt like she looked too old ( in the public eye ) to still be feeding.
She is still trying to get them out ,and moaning,milk mummy please!But we've definately stopped now!

samsmum

26-10-2005, 04:40

Have also breast fed in public, and encountered some very narrow minded comments!! As a very pro-breast feeding mum, i could tell you some stories of the battles i have had!!!
feel free to pm me if you want any more stories.....i see you have many willing volunteers already

sue:D

Titian

26-10-2005, 06:55

Originally posted by esta
hi everyone :)

please help me out if you can...otherwise disregard this post.

I am a 3rd year sociology student at Sheffield Uni. I have to conduct a reserach dissertation about something of interest...and am in need of a local mother/pro-breastfeeding/baby group to ask questionairre's/short interviews to about their experinces of breastfeeding in public. whether they recieved predjudice, shocked passers-by or even support from locals...
If anyone attends/knows of a group that they think would be of use please let me know!
or if any of you mum's out there have any tales/stories to tell please also post a notcie...

cheers for now, ESTA.x

Give Lizzmobile a PM.

H.P

26-10-2005, 07:04

I breast fed both my children, but I never did it in public.
Down to my own modesty rather than angry mob type situations though.If I was going out anywhere I would express into bottles..

Angiej

26-10-2005, 07:32

If you ring up surestart at woodthorpe, (cant think of number) you will be put through to the people who organise it, its on everythursday, not many people will be there as its half term, But nxt week will have a few mums im sure,

But you do need to ring surestart first as you cant just turn up and ask questions

HTH
Breastfeeding peer support,

esta

26-10-2005, 16:21

wow!! everyone has been SO helpful- am touched as was running out of steam... :(
will DEFINATELY pm those of you that replied, just need to sort my questionairre/interview questions out. will be in touch.

cheers again. esta:thumbsup:

thomsongirl

26-10-2005, 16:33

Have you seen http://www.lactivist.co.uk/

She started it because of the comments directed at her whilst breastfeeding. Have a look at why page.

Hope it helps.

lizzmobile

26-10-2005, 19:05

Hiya, Lizzmobile here, I'm currently breastfeeding mum of two (2yrs and 3 and a half) and a peer supporter and have answers ready for anyone who would like to discuss breastfeeding in public. It doesn't happen much anymore, as the children have really taken to feeding at home but am very keen to help any research into this very important part of mothering.

The lady at lactivist is lovely I met her at a holistic parenting expo recently. Her designs are amazing too. I also have a bunch of pro-breastfeeding t-shirts, such as 'breastfed because I'm worth it and 'breastfeeding is the new black' but no website yet!

One question begs though, was Roy breastfed? (runs for cover...)

peakma

26-10-2005, 21:07

Just wondering, lizzmobile, are you still breast feeding the 3 1/2 year old? Like I said in a previous post, I just stopped feeding my 27 month old last week, because in some ways I felt she was just getting too old,and was getting into bed with us in the night for comfort feeds,which was disturbing my sleep.But I also felt other people found it a bit "weird " to have continued feeding her for so long.I was in two minds whether to let her or me decide when the time to stop was.I must admit I'm missing the closeness of it, and it's the only sure way I know to get her to sleep,tonight after many stories,bottle of milk and a hot water bottle, shes still getting up wide awake!!!
I just wondered how old you and everyone else thinks is "too old" to continue feeding? Myself, I'm not really sure.I remember when she was a newborn seeing a toddler run up to his mum grab her boob out of her bra and help himself while she continued her conversation almost oblivious to his presence, did "look" a bit odd, but I think it's more normal in other countries, and here we are amost conditionedto be a little prudish to any sort of nakedness.

samsmum

26-10-2005, 21:12

I think the how long to breastfeed debate is quite a personal thing.....i would imagine most of us who breastfed/breastfeed would do it for as long as possible, regardless of what others thought, but then society etc batters the nurture out of us!
I do remember however an interview with a tv newsreader who breastfed her boy until he was 5!!! My god, my boobs would be down to my ankles if my 4 year old twins kept popping em out for a feed!!!!!

vive la breastfeeder!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap:

sue:D

lizzmobile

27-10-2005, 11:36

Yes, my 3 1/2 yr old feeds now and then, and it's mostly first thing in the morning, last thing at night. I think children have a wisdom we don't respect and they know when is best for them to stop. If they are meant to have milk for growth, it makes sense for them the have human milk, non?

Recently taken part in a documentary re full-term breastfeeding and chatting to the crew was very interesting. They are going to get mums to breastfeed in public and put little cameras in their glasses to monitor reactions from others... that will be fun! Dont' know if we as a fmily will be in the programme (C4, next spring) but it was a really nice experience just talking to the team about breastfeeding. Don't know when it's on but if you like esta, I can pass the info from this thread to them, see if anything can come of it...?

My feeling is that all the genetic codes and messages for growth and development are in the species- related food provided by the mother, and it is so easy to understand why so many people are ill these days, having started life out on a food that is meant for a 4-legged, 4 stomached, non-speaking limited-intelligence being, that lives in a field covered in s**t! I know that some mums have it really hard and find it impossible to feed, it was extreeeemly hard for me but I'm one of those stubborn types and am still going strong.

Also, it was such a shock to me that something so natural should be so difficult! And when my milk came in - ohmigod! Breastfeeding support is so important, but as we don't live in communities any more, we don't get to see how it is done first hand. We are losing all our primal skills.

Peakma, I hear you. One of my friends still feeds her 8 yr old.

Phanerothyme

27-10-2005, 11:47

...

...

JBee

27-10-2005, 11:58

Hello,

Will you be taking any views from people who don't like to see others breastfeed in public?

I don't mean to offend any mothers on here, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't mind people who do it discreatly, but really don't like those earth mother types who just whack 'em out next to you on the bus with no regard for the feelings of their fellow passengers.

And before anyone points the 'prude' finger at me - I'm very comfortable with my body, other people's bodies, and do a lot of work to raise awarness of issues like breast cancer and other body topics.

But for some inexplicable reason I don't like being trapped in a confined space with a woman who is breast-feeding. And I find it mildy offensive when I'm sat in a cafe trying to eat and a woman near me starts breast-feeding. Surely it wouldn't be too much to ask for them to pop into the baby changing room for two minutes?

I certainly wouldn't be in favour of banning it in public, but I think some women could show a little more consideration for the feelings of others and find a quieter area to feed their babies.

Not trying to start a heated debate or offend anyone here, BTW, am just airing my views.

esta

27-10-2005, 11:59

thanks lizzmobile..
.i emailed moomum at Lactivist website and she passed my details onto the Channel4 docu producer who has speedily got in contact which is great.
Am really trying to get a feel (as not a mum myself) whether different societies/communities and different areas of the UK maintain differeing attitudes towards breastfeeding in public or is it a national attitude??
whether its other mums (who will relate to the process of breastfeeding, or not) who frown upon prolonged breastfeeding in public or whether it is a general social ideology towards the breast as purely 'sexual' that causes people to hold judgement?
i was brought up in a pro-breastfeeding environment-mum was an NCT teacher and there was a constant stream of women coming to our house, as a toddler, who would breastfeed/sit on big cushions in circles (!) so I was conditioned into a thinking that breastfeeding was 'normal'..(makes me somewhat bias towards it though) but in today's society there seems to be little interaction between young girls and boys actually seeing breastfeeding women- more women topless in the 'Sun' really!

thanks again everyone!
:thumbsup: a general

esta

27-10-2005, 12:03

thanks JBee..as a researcher who doesnt breastfeed this is the kind of reactions i'm after-ie, different!
feel completely free to air your views, all entitiled to our opinions-thanks for posting.

Angiej

27-10-2005, 14:10

Esta, youve hit the naill on the head, If you can get hold of a booklet called breastfeeding and sexuality, it will help you im sure, all about why we veiw breasts as sexual rather than normal IYKWIM,

Im not here to have a go but, please think how you would feel if you was asked to go into a loo. normally not very clean to feed you child in a way that has been happening for hundreds/ thousands of years, How would people feel if asked to go to a loo to eat the butty as it was putting some one off there food,

Breast is and always will be best

ESTA , you can pm me if you like ! Id love to help x

Hels

27-10-2005, 14:14

I breast-fed my daughter (many moons ago) until I was told by the Health Visitor to stop - because i'd lost too much weight ....

Only on a very few occassions did I have to feed her in public and I always tried to be as discreet as possible - usually sitting in a quiet corner with my back to other people.

I'm 'pro' breast feeding but I feel a bit uncomfortable when I hear people are still feeding their children as they get older. Not sure why that is really, I guess it's because I associate breast-feeding with 'babies' rather than toddlers.

I've got to say, I know people who have breast-fed for quite a long time but i've never seen anyone breast feeding an older child in public. I think if I did, i'd be quite shocked - not because I have an issue with it - each to their own, but probably because it's unusual.

Angiej

27-10-2005, 14:21

Hels, Your veiw is quite common, because society as it is today feels that the mum is being perverse etc, Years ago it was very common to see kids as old as 4 still being breast fed

banesmabes

27-10-2005, 14:45

Originally posted by JBee
But for some inexplicable reason I don't like being trapped in a confined space with a woman who is breast-feeding. And I find it mildy offensive when I'm sat in a cafe trying to eat and a woman near me starts breast-feeding. Surely it wouldn't be too much to ask for them to pop into the baby changing room for two minutes?

I certainly wouldn't be in favour of banning it in public, but I think some women could show a little more consideration for the feelings of others and find a quieter area to feed their babies.

Can I ask JBee why you find it offensive for a woman to breastfeed close to you? What is it about feeding a child in this way that is so offensive? No one has ever given me a logical reason for why they are offended by it, so I'd certainly be interested in hearing more from you.

To be honest I don't think I have ever seen a woman breastfeeding in public. I think the vast majority of breast feeding mothers don't feed in public because they are so worried about what other people will think. I really do think this is a very sad state of affairs - women feeling they cannot feed their child in the most natural, healthiest way possible, whenever their child needs food, because society cannot suspend the link between breasts and sex.

Angiej

27-10-2005, 14:53

banesmabes Normally mums who breastfeed can do it with out anyone knowing, normally looks like baby asleep or having a cuddle, Which noone frowns up on

I would also love to hear why people feel uncomfy with it.

Cant wait till sheffield get The BILL (breastfeeding law) enforced !

JBee

27-10-2005, 14:53

Originally posted by Angiej
Im not here to have a go but, please think how you would feel if you was asked to go into a loo. normally not very clean to feed you child in a way that has been happening for hundreds/ thousands of years, How would people feel if asked to go to a loo to eat the butty as it was putting some one off there food,

Your views are perfectly justified Angie and I wish I could echo them. You're right that it's one of the most natural things in the world, and animals do it everywhere so why shouldn't we?

But our society has been so conditioned against nature that I think a lot of people, like myself, feel uncomfortable around a breast-feeding woman if she does it really obviously. It's kind of like peeing in the street. If you think about it then that's normal too, and animals do it all the time. But we've been conditioned against bodily functions so you'd be offended if someone pee'd right in front of you. Behind a bush is normally acceptable though if there's a need! ;)

I remember the first time I saw a woman breastfeed. I was about six or seven and I was with my best friend's mum and her baby sister. She'd taken us to play at the adventure playground at Chatsworth, and suddenly without warning she just unleashed this huge, swollen breast from her jumper and stuffed it into the baby's mouth. I remember vividly how utterly horrified I was. My mum never breastfed either myself or my little brother, so I don't suppose I'd ever seen them as having a practical purpose before - more as things women have that are a bit rude and sexy.

Anyway - sorry if anyone is traumatised by that little tale, but I've hated being around people who breastfeed every since.

My pal had a baby recently and at about the same time I developed a sudden aversion to her breasts. I've seen her naked plently of times before, topless on the beach, getting ready for a night out and such. But for some reason I get really embarassed about the thought of her sticking her nipples into her baby's mouth.

:gag:

I blame social conditioning. I clearly need therapy!!!

lizzmobile

27-10-2005, 15:51

Phan, what were all those dots for?

peakma

27-10-2005, 16:54

Breast feeding a baby in pulic, and an adult peeing in the street in public, are two totaly different situations, peeing in the street is unhygenicic and stinks.Jbee I think perhaps you do need therapy !!
When I used to feed my youngest in a cafe, I'd be eating my food at the same time, and usually with my two older(5&6) boys.Theres no way I'd consider going to perch in some toilet area to avoid upsetting some anti-breast feeding lunatic,sat near me! And why the hell should I ?If you don't like it dont look!I mean what do you thinks going to happen, do you think all of a sudden an almighty squirt is going to shower all over your food??!!
The only people I feel slightly uncomfortable feeding around are my ex-boyfriend,Father in-law and groups of teenage boys.
When I was little girl at playgroup, I apparantly used to shove my dolly up my jumper, rather than feed it with a toy bottle !
Breast is certainly best,it contains all the goodness a baby needs untill it's 6 months old, has anti bodies against any germs mother comes into contact with,perfect temperature,you make the correct amount to what your babies demands are, relases hormones in mother to make mother and baby sleep and helps lose the weight gained in pregnancy, also women who breast feed are less likely to develop breast cancer in later years.I'm quite sad I won't be doing it anymore, unless we suddenly get rich and I decide on having another baby!

Zebra

27-10-2005, 17:06

Originally posted by peakma
Theres no way I'd consider going to perch in some toilet area to avoid upsetting some anti-breast feeding lunatic,sat near me! And why the hell should I ?If you don't like it dont look! I mean what do you thinks going to happen, do you think all of a sudden an almighty squirt is going to shower all over your food??!!
The only people I feel slightly uncomfortable feeding around are my ex-boyfriend,Father in-law and groups of teenage boys.

This really hit me when I read it. I plan to B/F my twins when they arrive, one at a time when in public though - so as to give the more subtle impression that they are not being fed. However, I must agree, why should I feed my child in a toilet? How gross! If everyone else is eating in a public area, it strikes me that I should be able to feed my child in the same area.
I've had several conversations about this, I doubt I'd feel comfortable, even in my own home, feeding in front of my Dad, Grandad or father in law but the general consensus is that they will most likely have the inclination to sit in the dining room (the view into the lounge is mostly obscured but doesn't shut a person out of conversation) but I won't leave my own lounge to feed my babies. I think it's more about them than me.
Then there's Meadowhall. I'm sure I'll end up there round December time and I can make use of the Mothercare feeding area but I don't see the harm in feeding my kids discreetly in The Oasis.
I've seen many women doing it and picked up all sorts of hints and tips of how to keep it subtle. There's a woman I know who was feeding her baby every time I saw her (same time every week, obviously part of her routine) and it took me months to realise, due to clever use of the babys blanket and appropriate clothing.
I agree that women perhaps could be careful about revealing themselves in a very slowly changing society but I also feel discreet feeding should be embraced.

InvalidUser

27-10-2005, 18:34

I'm in favour. Whip 'em out girls, baby or not.

Babooshka

27-10-2005, 18:41

I am going to give breast-feeding a bash in the months to come but no way would I do it in public. It is far too personal and intimate a moment. One that baby and I alone shall share. It makes people feel very uncomfortable and rightly so. I don't like to see it myself and I don't have the 's*d you, I'll do what I like' attitude that some people seems to have. You still have to be considerate of others. It represents a bond between mother and child to which I do not believe others should be witness.

lizzmobile

27-10-2005, 19:46

Yeah, breastfeeding in front of your dad is a big one Zebra, f-i-l and other male family members included, and I'm the s*d you type as well!.

But Dad knows it is what they are meant to have and he just looks away or leaves the room. I make sure none of my breast is exposed when at their house, but otherwise, I just tuck my babes under my top and off they go. Chances are, all or most of our dads were breast fed.

Yellowrose

27-10-2005, 21:25

My daughter is a teen mum, and fed her first baby until he was 18 months, and I have the utmost admiration for her. she is expecting again and will feed baby no 2. She says she cant be bothered with bottles! As far as I know she didnt have any specialist support and was definitely not in a group, she was just naturally good at it. I tried to breastfeed my eldest 23 years ago, but was unsuccessful, I had a lot of problems and little support. The midwives tried to help, but with a very hungry 8lb baby who cried a lot and I have extremely sensitive skin! I was almost relieved when after 3 weeks of hell he had a bottle and settled down a bit. My mother had the same problem. However, I dont think breast is best should be rammed down your throat, as when I had to give up as my son was ravenous, I felt a real failure as I had read so much literature on how it was nutritionally best and a wonderful experience. It was a factor in my post natal depression and due to this didnt even try with the second, and subsequently had no pn depression.

wreck

27-10-2005, 23:06

jbee, I find it utterly unbelievable in todays society that you can find breastfeeding so unacceptable in public. I bf by eldest till he was 18 months old and am still feeding my youngest who is 14 months old. I have encountered many people like you over the years and have beed strong minded enough to carry on feeding and ignore your views. Comments you make or reactions you make to a breastfeeding mummy can have consequences, i work for a local bf support group and have come across a couple of bf mummies who have been but off bf by someones comments and stares. There is no way on this earth i would feed my children in a toilet or even changing room after all would you eat your liunch in their?. I have always fed my son discreetly as and when he has required it as i'm sure people would rather he was feeding than screaming with hunger!. Everyone is entitles to their opinions but next time try and think how a bf mummy might be feeling.
Sign the petition to bring in the breastfeeding law,we need it now!

BREAST IS BEST!!!

Hels

28-10-2005, 01:14

Seen this mentioned twice now so - what is the breastfeeding law?

As a TU rep, I pushed very hard several years ago to get a designated 'nursing mothers' room in our workplace. Partly what spurred me on was one woman who returned to work but was still breast-feeding and had to go to the ladies loo to express milk and then store it in a communal fridge, another woman was due to return to work after her mat' leave but the stress of trying to give up breast-feeding so that she could return brought on stress and depression resulting in sickness absence.

nanrobbo

28-10-2005, 04:27

I don't regard breast-feeding as at all offensive but I feel a little discretion would be in order. If I had to breast feed my child whilst I was not at home I simply pinned a gauze nappy to my shoulder and used that as a screen. No one was offended and I felt more comfortable and baby didn't have bright lights shining in her eyes.. Simple!

JBee

28-10-2005, 08:14

Originally posted by wreck
jbee, I find it utterly unbelievable in todays society that you can find breastfeeding so unacceptable in public. I bf by eldest till he was 18 months old and am still feeding my youngest who is 14 months old. I have encountered many people like you over the years and have beed strong minded enough to carry on feeding and ignore your views. Comments you make or reactions you make to a breastfeeding mummy can have consequences, i work for a local bf support group and have come across a couple of bf mummies who have been but off bf by someones comments and stares. There is no way on this earth i would feed my children in a toilet or even changing room after all would you eat your liunch in their?. I have always fed my son discreetly as and when he has required it as i'm sure people would rather he was feeding than screaming with hunger!. Everyone is entitles to their opinions but next time try and think how a bf mummy might be feeling.
BREAST IS BEST!!!

Excuse me? I think a few of the women on this site need to have a little more class and much less agressive attitude. Specifically the woman who wrote the above post claiming to have 'encounted many people like me' over the years and the other narrow-minded individual who called me "some anti-breast feeding lunatic".

I have never EVER made any snide comments or given dirty looks to ANY woman I see breastfeeding in public, and I take offense at the suggestion that I would. Why would I try to make some poor young mother uncomfortable because of my own prejudices? I'd be much too busy blushing and trying to pretend I hadn't noticed what she was doing anyway.

I was sharing my views on this forum to try and make breastfeeding mums aware that some people - like myself - feel uncomfortable around people who are breastfeeding. We are not ogres or 'lunatics'. We are normal, plesant and friendly people who simply feel uneasy in the company of breastfeeding women.

I tried to explain this as best I could by relating to a couple of personal incidents that seem to have made me feel this way, and also shared with you all the fact that I was never breastfed so have no experience of it myself. I also tried to be light-hearted and jokey about it so as not to cause offense.

What do I get in response for my candidness (which I believe the student we are all trying to help was grateful for)? A bunch of angry mothers metaphorically chasing me round the thread, waving their expressing pumps in the air and making abusive remarks.

I said in both my threads that I didn't wish to cause offense to any mother and I was merely explaining how I feel on the subject. I think some of you would do well to take into consideration that it takes all sorts to make a world, and being blinkered to other people's opinions doesn't necessarily invalidate them.

Several other people on this thread have called for a bit more discretion when breastfeeding in public, so I'm clearly not alone. And I didn't say it was "unacceptable in public" Wreak. I actually said it SHOULDN'T be banned in public but it should be done a little more discreatly. I suggest you go back and read my posts properly, perhaps trying to have a more open-minded attitude to the views of others as you do so. You say you have so far managed to 'ignore the views' of others - perhaps it's time you had a bit of empathy.

Finally, I'm not "anti-breast feeding". Why would I be anti-breastfeeding? Just because I don't like to watch other people do it, doesn't mean I want to deny a baby its mother's milk. Some of you really need to get a grip and get off your high-horses.

I thought Babooshka summed the issue up quite well on her post. I do think of breastfeeding as an intimate moment between mother and child, so why would I want to be in their company when they do that? It's like if you're sitting next to a couple who are kissing tenderly, oblivious to those around them - you feel uncomfortable because it's too private and you shouldn't be sharing it.

I feel that it's an issue about respect (or lack of) for others. There's a time and a place for these things. There are a lot of mums out there who do it very discreatly and I have no problem with that. But I dislike the women who just flop their boobs out right in front of you (especially when you're on a bus or train and can't move away) with no care for whether you want to be in that situation or not, and carry on regardless. :rant:

Angiej

28-10-2005, 09:17

Most if not all of the mums i have seen breastfeeding have done it without a big show, no need for a fanfair, do we have one if a blokes ordering a pint u dont think so...

The breastfeeding law is the same one they have in scotland which means anywoman breastfeeding her child in public CANNOT be asked to cover up move on or stop breastfeeding,

Alot of cafes now if you are breastfeeding will bring over your lunch drink etc,

alysonpeach: Can i just say well done to your daughter, and well done you for trying, im not being sarcastic when i say this ! A lot of mums need help to bfeed and feel bad when they cant, x

Yes i agree that breastfeeding is a intimate thing for a mum and baby but if you can feed with out a big show then it will still be discreet and no one needs to know !!

esta

28-10-2005, 09:52

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Angiej
The breastfeeding law is the same one they have in scotland which means anywoman breastfeeding her child in public CANNOT be asked to cover up move on or stop breastfeeding,

what do you feel about the fact that this law passed in Scotland is only associated with offenders preventing the feeding of infants up to age of 2 years old? after which prevention/intimidation would not be an offence? I understand the government needs to be able to put a limit on the age of breastfeeding children in order to pass the Law but does this not enforce public perception/ideologies that breastfeeding should stop after a cetain age??...any comments much appreciated.
Esta:)

Angiej

28-10-2005, 10:15

Yes it does make people think that above that age they should not be breastfed ! Utter rubbish,

If you work out the age a child should/ could be breastfed for is 3.5years of age, Most people if they do feed for longer than that do it in there homes etc as society doesnt like it,

As for feeding in public i can honestly say ive only ever had one negative comment and the fact the the girl in question had more breast on show than me went over my head,

MUMS DONT FEEL INTMIDATED TO FEED IN A LOO, most people prefer a quiet child to one thats screaming its poor lungs out as its hungry !!

fox20thc

28-10-2005, 10:20

chuckle chuckle.

I recall the first time I braved breastfeeding in public. I had taken expressed milk in bottles to a wedding as I felt a bit odd. Darling son (6 weeks old) was not having any of it, so I was very subtle and fed him quietly in the bar. All was well until a male friend of mine announced in a rather loud voice, "Oh my god shes got the hub caps out!" and he legged it into another room. He did apologise but refused to be anywhere near me when d/s was hungry.

Another strange phenomena is that women seem to go all mushy when they see baby on boob, the "ahhs and ooo's, isn't that sweet" comments.

JBee

28-10-2005, 10:33

Originally posted by Angiej
MUMS DONT FEEL INTMIDATED TO FEED IN A LOO, most people prefer a quiet child to one thats screaming its poor lungs out as its hungry !!

That's a very interesting point Angie. As much as I dislike seeing women openly and obviously breastfeeding, (no mushy feelings seeing baby on boob for me!!!), it's much worse if you're sat next to a swarking kid. Thanks for pointing that out, it gives the whole issue a totally new perspective.

A lot of mums have been suggesting ways to breastfeed discreatly. Perhaps that's they way to keep everybody (baby, mother and childless) happy when out in public places.

jezd

28-10-2005, 16:28

Didnt read ever post (hope I am not alone in my view), but I find it hard to believe that anyone can find breastfeeding in a public place offensive - its the most natural thing in the world. At the end of the day it is just an infant being fed.

Sign of the times I guess.

One male point of view.

JD

Babooshka

28-10-2005, 19:29

Urinating is also one of the most natural things in the world.

Some private moments need to remain just so. It does make people feel uncomfortable particularly when some women do not make any effort to be discreet.

It is also important to remember that whilst the women are performing a life sustaining function, breasts are also sexual and no matter what anyone says, some men will still look at the image in front of them in a sexual way.

Some things do make people feel uncomfortable, not just this, and it irks me that some people can just say 'I don't care, I am going to do it anyway', with no consideration for anyone else. THAT is a sign of the times.

Titian

28-10-2005, 19:35

People who unrinate in public isn't really a comparison. Grown men urinating have the ability to walk and find a toilet, it is also unhygenic, as is feeding a baby in the toilet. Would you eat your meal in the loo? A baby NEEDS to feed and is unable to do that alone.

A mother should not have to take into consideration other peoples feelings other than her child's. Adults have the option to look away and they regualte their own feelings. It isn't the mothers job to do that for them only to what is best for her child.

I breastfed my children where and when I needed to. I'm not embarrassed about my body and if others felt prudish or disgusted then that is not something I can could change for them. So why should they expect a mother of a child to change for them?

Babooshka

28-10-2005, 19:43

I don't think that feeding a baby in a toilet is quite as unhygienic as having egg and chips served up on a plate on a toilet seat. I can not imagine having to start unbuttoning my clothes to feed a child in front of ANYONE. It is so personal. I also disagree with the statement that a mother should not have to take anyone's feelings in to account. I think everyone should take everyone' s feelings in to account whatever they are doing. It is the lack of thought for others that causes the offence more than anything. Public places should be, for the most part, for public practices. Breast-feeding is a very personal function. I wouldn't want anyone to witness such a moment between me and my baby.

peakma

28-10-2005, 21:30

Each to there own.Babooshka I am right in thinking you are pregnant with your first child ?
If that is the case, then you may find that your views change after your "private" breast feeding with your child becomes a normal part of your every day routine.When I was pregnant with my first ,I knew I would breast feed him, but the thought of doing it in public seemed quite daunting.
I think something changed for me sometime during giving birth ( the thought of having to do this,also concerned me during pregnancy).I had a home birth, and I hadn't been living in the area long, so had only met my midwife a few times before the birth, so when the day came she and another midwife turned up at my house,it was all quite sureal !I was naked waist down kneeling on the floor with my bum in the air with a spot light pointing on it with two almost strangers there! At first it was embarrasing, but we were all born.I was horrified when I pooed on her hand,so embarrassing,but you just have to get on with it.(I think I might be going into too much detai here !)lI think after going through that you just lose the feeling of being so conscious of your nakedness.I don't know if I'm making much sense.
But after the birth, I was so proud of myself and my body, I did it with no drugs, not even gas and air and there I was in my bedroom with my baby ,it was amazing he was finnaly here, he went straight on my breast, and from then on they weren't just my breasts they were also my babies life line.I'd made this beautiful new life and now I could sustain it. all on my own.
The thing with newborn babies is you can't be regimental about feeding them, or treat them like pets, and feed them at specific times.they eat, sleep, grow and feed simply when they feel like it.when they're growing they need more milk.And when your baby screams for milk, instinctively, you just have to feed them, just the sound of my baby screaming for me made my breasts fill with milk and start leaking, and if I was in the middle of something else I would find it most distracting.So when ever and where ever possible I would feed my baby a.s.a.p.
I'm waffling on a bit now, I do apollagise, but I'l continue anyway!(there you go that selfish, s*d 'em attitude again!) When my second son was small I took driving lessons, and sometimes my boobs would fill up, and leak. on the lesson ! when I got home, I found it quite bizare that these times would almost always coincide with the times that my partner said my baby had been screaming for me.I have wondered how deep the bond really is, are we almost phsycic with our babies ?
I used to express, but they would never take it from a bottle.
Anyway when I was pregnant with my third baby, after not breast feeding for three years, the thought of wopping them out in public again seemed almost as daunting as the first time round, but once that hungry baby is in your arms, feeding it is the most natural thing in the world.
I'd go as far as saying I feel sorry for women who cant feel 100% comfortable with feeding their baby any place any time.