What is there to do in Sheffield for a shy person who is not into sport or educational courses?

Well, I think you've already found it!

Being shy myself, I've found that there are a fair number of things. Best ones that I do are going to the cinema and for walks and there is the added bonus that both are cheap !

The UGC has an unlimited card - for £10.99 a month on direct debit, 12 month contract, you can see as many films as you want. Have had my card 3 years now. Watched Kinky Boots one on Friday at a forum meet [there were 5 people there, 3 of which I didnt know and wasnt too scary] and yesterday I went alone and saw 4 films [Wallace and Gromit, Oliver Twist, Night Watch and Serenity] !

There are some very nice places to walk in sheffield - I live down the road from Rother Valley Country Park - nice to just wander around on me lonesome and take some photos with my camera :thumbsup:

Oh, and dont forget the forum of course, great for nattering with all kinds of people :P

What did you think of night watch grissom?

I saw it last night and i'm still undecided, if that makes any sense.

Wilf

The trailer suggested it'd be full of special FX, which it wasnt, which was actually a good thing. Bit of an odd film, but enjoyed it in the end. Quite liked the film being in Russian and seeing that they swear in english !? The subtitles were good, how they faded in and out and disappeared like blood in water :thumbsup:

Will have to see the other 2 to see how they go. Can see it being a cult thing in future with some people; will keep the badge they gave me at the cinema just in case its worth sommat in future :P

Just realised I called it the UGC.... can't get my head round the fact that its Cineworld now ! :suspect:

I used to be shy myself through childhood and my teens;
It can be extremely difficult I know. If you're interested in Art, a place I go when I want to be alone & reflective is one of Sheffield's art galleries.

Some places can be intimidating for a person on their own.
But no-one will take the slightest bit of notice of someone walking around an art gallery on their own. It's great to be able to walk around enjoying the exhibits, lost in your own thoughts, not having to worry about making conversation etc.

Or how about taking a stroll through the Winter Gardens, then have a wander next door to the Millennium Galleries or Graves Art Gallery (always some great exhibits on). And then pop into the Library on Surrey St & enjoy a good book in peace. Again a place that's guranteed to be quite and no-one pestering you for a chat! Hope this helps.... :)

A lot of people are shy, so you're not on your own for a start. Sheffield is one of those places where you can easily find yourself in conversation with someone, no matter how shy you are - an old lady at the bus stop, a young student asking directions etc.

The forum meets are good once you have the confidence to go to one. People are very friendly and welcoming as lets face it, we've all had our 'first time' when we didn't know anyone and was really nervous so people are very aware of how difficult it can be.

The forum here is a good way to get to know people and build up your confidence, I hope you are able to come to a meet sometime and feel comfortable enough with people you've met on here, but not actually 'met' in person.

The other advice about the galleries etc is good too, have you been to the Botanical Gardens yet? There's also a lot of voluntary work you could do if you felt up to it.

have a get together with other shy people off this forum.
got to be a good way to meet new friends,


once you all get to know each other you might not feel shy anymore, plus you can all help each other overcome shyness.


ps i used to be extremely shy and introverted untill my mate decided to take me in hand and ease me into the club/pub life.


never looked back,


take that step and you will never look back

Andy

Originally posted by Grissom
Being shy myself, I've found that there are a fair number of things. Best ones that I do are going to the cinema and for walks and there is the added bonus that both are cheap !

The UGC has an unlimited card - for £10.99 a month on direct debit, 12 month contract, you can see as many films as you want. Have had my card 3 years now. Watched Kinky Boots one on Friday at a forum meet [there were 5 people there, 3 of which I didnt know and wasnt too scary] and yesterday I went alone and saw 4 films [Wallace and Gromit, Oliver Twist, Night Watch and Serenity] !
:P

If you are shy it's one of the greatest thinsg you can do if you are into the cinema. I remember when i was single several years ago and used to watch several movies a day. Fab! :D

I think Grissom shoudl be the SF movie critic! There's plenty to do drusilla but when you're shy you tend not to get involved. Try to break the shyness over time and meet new people, one of the great thinsg of the SF is that many appear to have met new friends which they wouldn't have had the chance to otherwise.

Of course, there are those people that just prefer there own company as well. I am increasingly prefering my own company, even though people who choose to are often termed "loner" in a very derogetory way.

I love food shopping on my own, wathcing films on my own, watchign football on my own, going to the pub with the paper and having a drink on my own - its very relaxing

I have a big circle of friends as well, so it is totally through choice. But it is a choice that is becoming more and more appealing.

I agree! :thumbsup:

I know it's a well known saying but; "?"If you don't enjoy your own company, how can you expect anyone else too

Some places can be intimidating for a person on their own. It's great to be able to walk around enjoying the exhibits, lost in your own thoughts, not having to worry about making conversation etc.
Or how about taking a stroll through the Winter Gardens, then have a wander next door to the Millennium Galleries or Graves Art Gallery (always some great exhibits on). And then pop into the Library on Surrey St & enjoy a good book in peace. Again a place that's guranteed to be quite and no-one pestering you for a chat! [/B]

Is conversation a worry? I dont get this....why would anyone NOT want to be sociable and chat to people and socially network?

Originally posted by goldenfleece
Is conversation a worry? I dont get this....why would anyone NOT want to be sociable and chat to people and socially network?

I'm similar to the original poster, it's not that I don't want to be sociable, I would love to be, but it's just something that happens I guess, some people become introverted, some people don't...

Originally posted by ridofme
I'm similar to the original poster, it's not that I don't want to be sociable, I would love to be, but it's just something that happens I guess, some people become introverted, some people don't...

That is a contradiction in terms really. If you want to be more sociable and meet new people its not a problem. You have to unlearn some 'learned' behaviour patterns. Its no good wanting to do something and not being able to do it. There are some very successful ways of overcoming this.

I think a lot of people who are shy, would very much love to be more sociable and really do want to connect and interact with people (and would enjoy it very much) and they'd totally love to be accepted and liked by other people.

A shy person is withdrawn into themself, their focus is inside their own head, thinking (worrying) about their own insecurities, or why other people won't like them.

A lot of what goes on inside a shy persons head is speculation or anticipation. Thinking or feeling that other people are judging them and thinking such things as 'oh my god, he is shy, what a freak'. This in turn makes the shy person more anxious, and other people will actually start to think they're odd, which in turn makes the shy person more anxious, it's a negative feedback loop.

So even though it's what shy people really want, being sociable and meeting new people is a problem for them, because it can trigger off so much of anxiety.

However, if they want to overcome their shyness, they have to put themselves in situations that trigger their anxiety, because in the long term, they will benefit. No matter what other people think, it's just not important what anyone else thinks. The only thing to remember is that if you constantly expose yourself to what you fear, in the long term, *you* will grow and overcome it.

So if you're shy, DO NOT JUST GO TO THE CINEMA!!! Well, you can of course, if that's what you want, but do also consider the long term benefits of exposing yourself to what you fear, and think of it like driving a car, you want to be in the right gear for where you are (start of in 1st, not 5th).

Rant over, hope I didn't get too carried away.

Originally posted by Jamie
I think a lot of people who are shy, would very much love to be more sociable and really do want to connect and interact with people (and would enjoy it very much) and they'd totally love to be accepted and liked by other people.

A shy person is withdrawn into themself, their focus is inside their own head, thinking (worrying) about their own insecurities, or why other people won't like them.

A lot of what goes on inside a shy persons head is speculation or anticipation. Thinking or feeling that other people are judging them and thinking such things as 'oh my god, he is shy, what a freak'. This in turn makes the shy person more anxious, and other people will actually start to think they're odd, which in turn makes the shy person more anxious, it's a negative feedback loop.

So even though it's what shy people really want, being sociable and meeting new people is a problem for them, because it can trigger off so much of anxiety.

However, if they want to overcome their shyness, they have to put themselves in situations that trigger their anxiety, because in the long term, they will benefit. No matter what other people think, it's just not important what anyone else thinks. The only thing to remember is that if you constantly expose yourself to what you fear, in the long term, *you* will grow and overcome it.

So if you're shy, DO NOT JUST GO TO THE CINEMA!!! Well, you can of course, if that's what you want, but do also consider the long term benefits of exposing yourself to what you fear, and think of it like driving a car, you want to be in the right gear for where you are (start of in 1st, not 5th).

Rant over, hope I didn't get too carried away.

TOTALLY agree Jamie. The pattern of 'looped' or 'learned' behaviour' needs to be broken. This can really only be done with a deep-end approach, ie dont think about it but DO IT.

Its the same principle as chatting people up, so many are scared or nervous of being rejected or laughed at, which just makes the whole behaviour pattern get worse and worse. We are only afraid of our own mind and its imaginings and NOT reality. Dont think.....just go and talk to complete strangers and worry not about anything except that the more people you network with, the more networking opportunities will come forth from those networks, if you see what i mean.

The best technique to to take someone out with you who is utterly self-confident and watch them do it. They wont succeed all the time, half the fun of everything is actually FAILING, because every step is a learning point on the ladder to total self confidence. You have to fail to succeed! Then, its in at the deep end, and just go and talk to people casually, the best tactic is SITUATIONAL CONVERSATION As opposed to any learned 'lines'. Every person you see in any place will be a slightly different 'situation', and to be able to take data from that situation and turn it into casual conversation is an art you can only get better and better at.

What so many people do who are 'shy' is try to force conversation at this point, which can only ever fail. You need to be cool, self-assured, but not overly arragant, and pick up on the situational status of any likely new 'friend' or casual potentia social networking opportunity, and turn it into conversation.

ACtually you CAN network at the cinema, but its a bit more tricky. If you go by yourself to the movies you will most iften than not see couples or groups of friends, but not many single people, so it feels a bit intimidating if you are naturally shy and wanting to come out of your shell. But STRAIGHT away you have something in common with ALL of those people in ODeon screen 10, or whatever it is....you are ALL there watching the same film. At the end when everyone wanders out and downstairs, everyone is talking about the film (usually). All the work has been done for you in terms of knowing the immediate SITUATIONAL status of potential networking opportunities. It is relatively easy then to make a bold step and break into a GROUPS conversation and HOLD their attention (all of them) for as long as you wish, and even continue the conversation in the pub with them afterwards...and beyond. Ask me if you want to know more.