View Full Version : Why, oh why, oh why!
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 15:53 This thread is dedicated to those things that always seem to happen or don't happen for some reason.
Like: Why are hairdressers always so interested in your holidays?
and: Why don't women urinate in wardrobes when they are
drunk?
finally: Why do Chinese chop-suey bar proprietors leap on you
before you've had a chance to scan down the menu
board and say 'woyewon?' abruptly?
/edit/
Why is there always a teaspoon at the bottom of the washing-up bowl when you empty the water out?
Martin_s 23-01-2004, 16:04 Why is it that women always dump "nice guys" for complete bas**ds?
:loopy:
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 16:08 And why doesn't somebody tell them that that make-up mirror is actually for keeping a check on the traffic behind?
And why is that you ALWAYS ge at least 3 Big Issue sellers or market researchers hassling you for your time or money when you're walking down Fargate?
Seriously I know these people are doing a job, but like, **** off! I don't want a market researcher asking me personal questions like how many times a day do I use the bathroom, and what brand of loo roll do I use when I do go to the loo?!
Why don't people use the edit button? ;)
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 16:31 How come a woman can spot a blonde hair on you shoulder from the other side of a bedroom bathed by the light of a single 40 watt bulb, but they can't see the garage doors with the headlights full on from 6 feet?
Why does it rain at the weekends?
Originally posted by Martin_s
Why is it that women always dump "nice guys" for complete bas**ds?
:loopy:
Because no-one thinks of themselves as being a bas**d?
j/k :P
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 16:43 Why is it that whenever a work colleague either says
"it's dragged today," or "It's flown today," you always agree?
Guess that means Martin is a nice guy, and we don't.
Why when you put something in a safe place is it so safe that you can't remember where it is?
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 16:50 Originally posted by fuzzy
Guess that means Martin is a nice guy, and we don't.
Why when you put something in a safe place is it so safe that you can't remember where it is?
Happens to me all the time that!
Why is it that if someone bumps into me in the supermarket, I always automatically apologise?
Originally posted by Sam Miguel
Happens to me all the time that!
Why is it that if someone bumps into me in the supermarket, I always automatically apologise?
Because you are British
Brits are the only people who do that (I read it in an amusing travel guide)
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 17:05 How is it that people who phone you up to tell you that you have won a holiday or a free kitchen always do so when when you are cooking a meal? I mean. How do they know?
Why does it only rain when I dont have my brolly with me ?
Would the oceans be deeper if they wasn't any sea spoonge:rolleyes:
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 18:20 Why do they strategically place cash-dispenser machines so that the sun shines directly on the glass and you have to cup your hands around the read-out to see what it says?
Why is the thing that's been in the same place for the past 3 months mysteriously disappear the very same minute you need it?
and
When you finally find it why do people say 'it's always the last place you look' Well of course it is ya muppet. I'm not gonna carry on looking after I've found it am I. :loopy:
Unashemedly nicked from elsewhere....
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? –Lily Tomlin
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?
Nomme
Why isn't
Caution Blind People Crossing
written in braille?
...same goes for the sign that says.....Braille School :arrow:.
:roll::roll::roll:
Why are women the only "thing" that can bleed for a week and not die :D :thumbsup: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
(waits for all the women here to hunt me down and kill me...)
Sam Miguel 23-01-2004, 20:34 Why doesn't the word 'phonetic' start with an 'f'?
...and if you drink drinks, why don't you food food?
....Why can only fish and iron be 'monged'?
Why do male call-handlers get a strop on about nothing?
Why do you only lose your keys when you're in a hurry?
Originally posted by Sam Miguel
...and if you drink drinks, why don't you food food?
You eat eats! ;)
Sam Miguel 24-01-2004, 17:17 Yes, my son pointed this out to me.
Why do call handlers always put you on hold to seek advice,yet claim to be experienced in the field you are talking to them about.
Why has the service at Macdonalds never got anybetter in the last 20 years.
If I check each pocket when I put stuff in the washer, WHY do paper tissues mysteriously appear and cause white fluff to cling to everything. Every bloody time one sneaks in there Grrrr. It's a phenomenom.
In the morning WHY do huge trucks know I'm coming and then drive in front of me. I drive past a concrete factory every morning and one pulls out without fail when I get near it. Of course they see me and pull out and proceed to drive less than the speed limit. I have no way of passing for about 10 miles.
Why is Sam Miguel's hovercraft full of eels?
Why don't the council provide an eels from hovercraft removal service?
Sam Miguel 25-01-2004, 12:04 Don't worry about it: I need those eels in my hovercraft. It's what keeps me sane.
Why is it that if you hear a particular record on the radio and you are straining your ears at he end to find out who the artist(s) is, the DJ knows this and winds you up by purposely not announcing it?
.... and why didn't girls look like that when I was at school?
Mosherchik 29-01-2004, 10:13 Why is it that whenever you turn the tap on in the kitchen to get some water the jet hits the one spoon in the basin and spurts water everwhere drenching you and anyone else in a five mile radius!!!
jackthedog 29-01-2004, 10:18 Why oh why does the tiny screw from your glasses always turn completely invisible as soon as it works loose and falls out?
Mosherchik 29-01-2004, 10:30 Why oh why when you have sucessfully nagivated your way around a particularly nasty icy street without slipping do you then trip over your own goddamn shoelace!!!!!! :P
madmaxwestie 29-01-2004, 10:52 Originally posted by robh
Why is Sam Miguel's hovercraft full of eels?
Why don't the council provide an eels from hovercraft removal service?
It's from a Monty Python scetch about a bloke with a phrase book with lots of crummy translations. The other one is too "I will not buy this record it is scratched" Not to mention the phrase "Fondle my buttocks" but no-one wanted that one on the end of their posts!
Max
When you dial a wrong number why do they always answer?
Mosherchik 29-01-2004, 13:17 Im quite cheeky... :wink: ...I leave all the wrong number folks rambling away on the answering machine before I can be bothered to pick up and tell em :P
Our home phone number must be very similar to a dentists cos we reliably get frantic people coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why theyre not coming for their appointment!
Originally posted by Mosherchik
Why oh why when you have sucessfully nagivated your way around a particularly nasty icy street without slipping do you then trip over your own goddamn shoelace!!!!!! :P
I think that's just you ;)
And why is it that on the day you REALLY need the squirty water thing to keep your windscreen clean, it is ipso facto frozen up and wont sodding work .....
why is the fluff in my belly button always purple (sometimes mauve), no matter what colour clothes I've been wearing?
kittykat 29-01-2004, 19:54 did you have to say that im going to feel sick for the rest of the night now
Agent Dan 30-01-2004, 08:00 Why is it when you wash socks, some of them always dissapear? (I am aware eddie izzard has answered this one!)
How come bees make honey?
Originally posted by oxbeast
why is the fluff in my belly button always purple (sometimes mauve), no matter what colour clothes I've been wearing?
I'd guess it's because you're probably an alien. Everyone else I know has grey fluff.
I don't get fluff in my belly button..
jackthedog 30-01-2004, 08:54 What?!! That's impossible!
I'm young.. my stomach is like am ironing board ;)
jackthedog 30-01-2004, 09:04 You still have a belly button though.
Do women get belly button fluff?
jackthedog 30-01-2004, 09:08 Why oh why do you only notice spelling mistakes after you've sent something to the printers, despite proofing the thing countless times before?
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