When you really love someone do you ever get over them?

no.

(that is my entire answer, there is nothing else to add)

is that from personal experience?

Thanks for cheering me up! lol

Never.

That's the whole answer.

Dragon

Tell us more Michelley.

If you really love someone then lose them through bereavement I think you learn to live with it but never really get over it.

Perhaps if you lose someone because the relationship ended, then you know they are still around but not with you so I would think it would be easier once you have found a new relationship.

What is your situation?

I split up with my ex about a month ago, it was a horrible ending to the relationship, but i couldnt just switch off my feelings, id not seem him for a month until last night, iv spoken to him on the phone and weve e-mailed eachother and iv been fine, but seeing him hurt me but i didnt realise that until he had gone.

It was really good to see him but i didnt want to let him go, when he left i cried. We said sorry to eachother and when over some of the good times and a few of the bad times, gave eachother a cuddle and that was it really but i didnt realise how much id missed him. Iv never felt like before about anyone and its just hard letting go.

Hes moved on which is also hard (got back with his ex), i accept it but its hard especially when theres still something there between us which was hard to ignore. The worst thing hes told me he doesnt love his ex.

Im sorry im just babbling on!

Originally posted by michelley
Hes moved on which is also hard (got back with his ex), i accept it but its hard especially when theres still something there between us which was hard to ignore. The worst thing hes told me he doesnt love his ex.


The man sounds like a fool, you'll get over him.

This is really really hard and my heart goes out to you.

I split up with my now ex back in Feb of this yr (we were living together, workk together) and I was distraught - it was completely his decision, I was heart broken and honestly couldn't see myself getting over him as I thought Id spend the rest of my life with him.

Things change and boy does time heal!

I worked with him and still do, so saw him every day, he was dismissive of how I felt and couldn't understand why I was so unhappy.

Approximately 2/3 months ago I started to see him for what he is and I am now the happiest I have ever been. We are actually friends now. He is with the girl he asked out the same day he asked me out (we went on our date first and he canx the one with her, but it appears that they had been in constant contact throughout our relationship) and I have a lovely new man who has made me feel more gorgoues and happy that my ex ever made me.

What I guess I'm trying to say is, that you will get over this guy, if he was willing to lose you then he's not the one for you, you are worth so much more than that.

Keep your chin up darlin, it WILL get better.

xxxxx

You must have split up for a reason. Don't just remember the good times, you have to put it into perspective and admit the problems were there because you did have bad times and if the relationship was strong enough you would have worked threw them.

Ask yourself if you are really missing him the actual person, or just the good times you had because you will have those again, but with someone else who isn't involved with their ex.

I hope you have a good bunch of mates to go out with, they will help you threw it. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by michelley
When you really love someone do you ever get over them?

No.

it did end for a reason but its difficult to talk about.

We lived together, it lasted about 8 weeks, he had too much going on in his head, i new what i wanted.

All this has really affected me, anyway thanks you guys.

x

Was the whole relationship 8 weeks or the issue at the end?

It is cliched but time is a great healer, get yourself to one of the sun meets - thats exactly what I did and the new friends I made on here helped tremendously.

Don't just focus on the good stuff, it'll drive you mad and try not to focus on the 'what ifs' etc, it won't get u anywhere apart from being even more unhappy.

How old are u Michelley? if u don't mind me askin?

x

hey there michelly...love is a very beautiful thing and remember love doesnt happen too often in life...and what you seem to be describing to us is attraction and a relationship...chin up girl...when true love happens to you, you won't have experienced anything more magical....
leave the man and move on as he has done...and live life...cause remember u live but once.....

No it wasnt an 8 week relationship! lol

We were together two years, then the last 8 weeks i lived with him was the end.

Im 23 and he is 39! We get on so well, the age thing wasnt or isnt an issue.

Pranav dont tell me what i felt - i know it was love - i no the difference between attraction and a relationship and love.

Sorry to be harsh but i dont like people telling me what i feel, it was love and it was the best thing iv ever felt but it didnt work out.

Thanks for your reply tho.

I was just checkin re. the 8 weeks.

That is quite an age gap and although u say that it wasn't an issue, could it have been? deep down? I'm only asking that because I know just how much I changed between 21 and 28 (my age now).

There must have been issues for it to end, so learn from them and as others have said, try to move on. You will be happy again, you don't believe it now, but you will be.

Oh and when all else fails, a big glass of Red wine helps and as my aunt told me - the best way to get over someone is to get under someone - made me laugh anyway..

xx

Thanks BB.

It wasnt the age gap, there were other issues called an ex girlfriend! Very complicated.

I no be happy again, just didnt think i would feel like this.

Awe thanks for listening anyway.

x

I posted a very simialr thread to this back in feb.

I know exactly how u feel, I was truely distraught, didn't eat, couldn't sleep etc, but it does get better, you just have to fight through it.

Keep ure chin up sweety.
xx

Could be just me being cynical, but it sounds to me like he's doing the typical guy thing by trying to make you stay in love with him, without him having to be with you.

This way, he gets his current partner, he get's the satisfaction of knowing you won't move on, thinking you still have a chance with him... and he also gets the satisfaction of knowing you're there if he ever wants you.

Give him the finger and move on.

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
I posted a very simialr thread to this back in feb.


Think I gave you the same advice as what I've just posted above if I remember correctly?

Yes u did GazB.

But no matter what anyone says, Michelley will just need to work it through in her own time and if she needs to chat or a hug, she can come along to one of the Sun Dev Cat meets.

xx

Or if all else fails, take a crap on his lawn :)

You've still got the "sleep with the ex" bit to get through yet. Always happens at least once.

Wibbles - I disagree 110% I have never slpet with any of my ex's once we have broken up.

Well I disagree 111%...
Its an easy sh*g...its bound to happen..suprised it hasn't already.

Bonus night does happen a lot and in many ways its a good thing.

For me it served as a reminder that he was a pathetic boyfriend (as he was with his other woman when we slept together for the last time) and that he actually is crap in bed :hihi:

Ever since then I have completely ignored all phone calls, texts and emails. And you know what ? For me to have had the upper hand for once made me feel DAMN good :D

NO I DONT THINK YOU DO EVER THERE ONLY USUALLY FIND LOVE TRUE LOVE ONCE :)

Someone once said "It takes half the time again to recover from a failed relationship". I think that a bit excessive but we're all different. Just be careful not to go straight into another relationship on the rebound - now thats another story! Take heart Chic - it WILL get better! Trust me - I'm a mum!!

:thumbsup:

Originally posted by michelley
When you really love someone do you ever get over them?

Depends on the circumstances ................If they die, you will probably love them forever, but hopefully find the strength to move on. They would never wish you to mourn over them for too long as life is too short and they can take care of themselves.
If we are talking other than death, then always remember, love is a 2 way street. If someone truely loves you, they would never wish to hurt you, so accept the fact that you probably gave your heart to the wrong person and find somebody who deserves you.

Chin up it does get better with time, although you will never forget the love, you will learn to live without him. Been there done that, broke my heart but time is a great healer honest!
Take care at the end of the day its his loss.

Better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.

i think that if you do TRULY love someone, you will never fully get over them. but i do also believe that hurt heals, so if the relationship ended badly or whatever, the hurt of loosing them or spliting up with them will go away(eventuailly) but you wont ever stop loving them

If you believe that Loue then you must never have experienced True Love.

This was covered in another topic some time ago.

If you have never loved then you have no idea what you are missing out on and will never feel the pain if it goes wrong.

Dragon

Originally posted by BruciesBabe

I split up with my now ex back in Feb of this yr (we were living together, workk together) and I was distraught - it was completely his decision, I was heart broken and honestly couldn't see myself getting over him as I thought Id spend the rest of my life with him.


When you work with someone you love, but who no longer wants to be with you, it makes life so much harder... as I'm finding out right now. Hearing her laugh without me is the worst part, but just seeing her can be really hard too.

Aaaww Michelley xxx I remember speaking to you in chat when it had first happened. Sorry that you're feeling so sad, sweetheart. These things do take time but you won't always feel like this, I promise.

Keep yourself busy, get out with friends etc and don't let him waste any more of your life.

*Big Hugs*

I don't mean to be harsh, but get a life!

You're young and there's no rush for you. Do what you do and the right guy will come along at the right time without you expecting it. Move-on and find yourself someone with less complications, no straggling ex g/fs and no issues.

There are plenty of guys out there, of which they are more than worthy of your ex man. Is he ex or isnt he?

Seems your wasting your time and if you don't realise it now, you will when you're older.

Life first, man second.

....and I don't beleive theres a 'special one' for every person.
I beleive there are thousands, possibly hundreds of thousands of perfect matches for everyone.

So whats the rush!

Still say that it never gets better, but I guess that depends on your age and how much you was in love. There's Real Love and then there is just the couple of weeks you have the hots for someone.

Getting to know them. Getting used to their habits, and them to yours, getting into a comfortable way of living with each other - regardless of the ups or downs - that is where the pain comes from. Getting used to being without.

Still - after over 8 months I am still alive - though barely. Maybe in another 80 years I will start feeling better.

Dragon

you can experience real love and move on with your life once the relationship has ended. I loved my hubby with all my heart we was best friends, we did most things together and i worshiped the ground he walked on. But I wasn't enough for him and he moved on. It does get easier with time, you learn to do things on your own again, learn to stretch out as far as possible in the bed! and also find your own identity again. Not easy at first I must admit, but honestly IT DOES GET BETTER! :clap:

When you really love someone do you ever get over them?

That's something I'm discovering! Was with my girlfriend / fiancee / soulmate / bestfriend for three years.
We used to work, live and socialise together without ever getting claustrophobic. But things outside of the relationship began falling apart for us both, mainly her.

We took a break for a couple of months (expecting to get back together). Then the other week she hit me with the bombshell that it's not meant to be.

The worst thing being that; because we're still in love with each other (she doesn't want us to even be friends anymore because of the temptation)! And she asked me to try and stop loving her.... That's something I know I could never do. Maybe in time I will stop being IN LOVE with her, but never will I stop loving her. I think if you truly love someone with all your heart, a part of you will always care deeply for them.

Whether or not everyone can move on and find another, that's something I'm not in a position to answer....

Anyone know this song that sums it up -

"Ashes to Ashes; Dust to Dust; Will love last forever;
I know that it must - My Love

I made you a promise; I found I could keep; the candles are burning; The river runs deep - my Love.

Now you can see; now you can feel; now you can know; Our love is real.

I dedicate to you; All my love; My whole life through; I'll Love you forever and ever.

Every Day; Every Hour we share; I'll treasure you; You know I'll Love you forever and ever."

Dragon

I don't think you ever fully get over these things but you WILL learn how to handle it and gradually the pain fades away and you'll remember why you loved them but also come to terms with why it never worked out. And it won't hurt so much.

It's part of life and being a fully rounded person. Life experience and all that stuff. As Loue said better to have loved and lost.

Eat chocolate and be very kind to yourself X

Originally posted by wibbles
Well I disagree 111%...
Its an easy sh*g...its bound to happen..suprised it hasn't already.

God fully aware of that scenario. It's happened about 6 times for me now with the same guy. NOT ANYMORE THO really need to not see him again or I will just sleep with him again. And it's not even that god. Errmm what a psycho I am :loopy: