What do you think?

The forum has been through an 'emotional' stage recently, with quite a few threads about ex-partners and rehoming pets.

Do you think we are getting so used to living in a disposable society with respect to consumer goods, that we now treat our family, friends and pets the same way?

What messages are our children picking up from this?

Are we ensuring they will never be able to live 'happily ever after' because we teach them that 'get rid' is the solution to any problem?

Is that 11 people who thought this thread was about something else, or 11 people with a guilty conscience? :suspect:

pretty much agree with you. Jobs and partners used to be for life. Now that doesn't seem to be the case.

Originally posted by Strix
Is that 11 people who thought this thread was about something else, or 11 people with a guilty conscience? :suspect:
Not that I don't have a guilty conscience about some things but I thought that perhaps the thread dealt with consumer goods! d'oh!

BTW A turkey IS just for Xmas, AFAIC! :D

It annoys and worries me (in the grand scheme of things sense) that so many inanimate things are regarded as disposable, when they so obviously have the potential to be reused or repaired rather than replaced.

It worries me a whole lot more that this attitude has spread to people, relationships and the like. It has pervaded working life in that there is no such thing as true job security any more, and in a number of ways the things that we teach children by them seeing us treat relationships and marriages as temporary arrangements is yet more worrying.

That said, if divorce didn't exist I'd be stuck in purgatory with no way out (even though I thought that he was as committed to the relationship as I was, it is now obvious that he wasn't).

The thing is, as much as I'm in the middle of a divorce, the static things in my life, that I'm sure will never change, are my home, my cats (can't ever imagine getting rid of them- they have more provision in my will than the house does) and my family. I can't imagine what would have to happen to split my family up. in any emergency or catastrophe we are stronger together than as single units. We may be apart physically, but emotionally we are each other's strength, and every now and then it does all of us good to remember that.

I watched a TV prog earlier in the week where a family were set the task of cutting their waste, power and water consumption by half.

In week one they did so badly with their power, that they were cut off for 24 hours in week 2.

The kids had to forget about play station and find other things to do. This continued beyond the power cut, and their mum was flabbergasted at how much difference it had made to how well the kids got on.

Does anybody else think that the information/communication rate of today's society plays a part in the impatience we show to each other?

Constant bombardment with junk info leaves us with no time to stop and think properly, or just relax and let pent up frustrations go.

I personally have no concentration span now. I used to a lot more as a kid. If I start something I get bored at the first hurdle and give it up.

society seems to be going that way in general

It's very much a 'must have it now' society.

Previously, if you wanted something, you saved up for it. Now, everything seems to be on the never-never.

I suppose that's one reason why there's so much personal debt about. It almost seems fashionable to owe lots on credit cards.

Not sure it's a good thing, though. Or is it generational?

"Television, the drug of the nation
Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation" - Michael Franti

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/disposable-heroes-of-hiphoprisy-television-the-drug-of-the-nation-lyrics.html

Why bother bringing your kids up when you can sit 'em in front of the box and let that do it for you?

Not a generalisation! It does happen though. If I have to spend any amount of time exposed to daytime TV I get incredibly depressed.

I think we live in a disposable society at all levels and it mortifies and angers me.

On a material level, I cannot understand why people feel it necessary to change cars every three or four years, replace rather than repair things, etc. A study done of US millionaires indicated that they tended to by high quality goods BECAUSE they could then be repaired rather than replaced. Cheaper furniture, etc. tended to be nigh on impossible to fix. We get pushed by society and the media to consume - we're genuinely amusing and shopping ourselves and our planet to death.

In terms of jobs - I've never had the illusion that my eployer owes me a job for life. I've always looked at employers as (rightly) doing what they need to do to keep their business profitable - and that might one day include ditching me. So, I've always contracted or worked as a self employed person and the onus is on ME to make my way in the world. I sell my labour - simple as that.

Personal growth and development - just stick at stuff. Persistence and the ability to focus is crucial. As is deferred satisfaction. Don't use credit, save the money for something. This may sound awfully puritanical, but it stops us becoming all surface, no feeling.

In terms of relationships - I think some people do 'run for cover' the first time anything goes wrong. Sometimes people screw up, but unless violence or abuse is involved persistence is worthwhile. It's natural to leave a relationship if it's not going anywahere before you marry or move in together, but you certainly shouldn't marry without being sure of what you're getting in to. Similarly, I believe that a child should only come along after marriage or some period of living together - commitment.

People like Renee Zelwegger - with her realisation that her new hubbie didn't have an outlook on life anything like she was looking for - are truly laughable. You marry AFTER you find these things out, not before. Many people seem to think that the big wedding is the end of it all and that it will be happily ever after from there on. Wrong - it's potentially the start of a lifelong journey that will have ups and downs, good and bad, rich and poor. By making relationships disposable, I believe we weaken the ties of wider society as well.

Joe

it also seems to me that cheating in relationships has become more acceptable (indeed commonplace) where as long as there is no sex involved it doesn't matter.

Originally posted by segasonic
Why bother bringing your kids up when you can sit 'em in front of the box and let that do it for you?
Another of my pet gripes!

I went to a TKD class, and the number of kids who just gawped at you if you asked them a question :loopy: Obviously can't distinguish between TV and real people - experience of the latter being so limited :suspect:

Of course, there is also the issue of TV having dumbed down considerably. It's nowhere near as educational as it used to be - indeed its current primary function is to entertain :suspect: whatever the interretation of that may be :roll:

I agree we do live in a disposable society - in terms of consumer products particularly. Part of that is about large organisations wanting to make more and more money for themelves and their shareholders. Just look at the increasingly limited life-expectancy of white-goods for clear examples.

And as much as we are increasingly enouraged to re-cycle, that's rather like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted ...

I don't think anyone comes through a divorce unscarred. The divorce rate is high, but the reasons for this are more complex than us living in a disposable society. One of the biggies is that women have much more financial independence these days, they no longer have to stay in an abusive or miserable relationship like they pretty much had to in the not too distant past. That's not to say some couples shouldn't try harder to maintain a marriage and work through problems, but I think heck of a lot of people do really work at it.

As for children, we all want the best for our children, I don't think anything has changed much in that, but now it seems that many children get far too much, far to quickly and far too easily.

Originally posted by Hels
As for children, we all want the best for our children, I don't think anything has changed much in that, but now it seems that many children get far too much, far to quickly and far too easily.
How well do you think any of them will cope if (heaven forbid) we suddenly find ourselves in recession again? Do any of these children understand the value of anything that doesn't cost money, like time spent with another person?

I don't like to categorise all children the same. There are far too many children (IMO) who are living well below the poverty line and don't even get a decent meal.

It all depends how children are brought up, if they have responsible parents. I can only go on my own experience of parents and their children - one friend is quite wealthy, her son doesn't want for anything - he is one of the most lovely, well-mannered and caring little boys I know.

My sister does not allow her children to have any of the things a lot of children take for granted these days - no mobiles, no designer clothes or trainers, no tv or cd player in their bedroom, none of the latest toys, certainly no computer games! They enjoy playing board games, reading, drawing and making their own cards etc. They are limited to what programmes they watch on tv each week.

Another friend of mine doesn't have a huge amount of money, but she always puts her son first, he's doesn't have lots of material things, he loves spending time with him mum and again, he is a lovely, well-adjusted boy.

Yes, it is sad that some children expect everything they ask for and it's a shame because their parents are not really doing what is best for them.

Originally posted by Hels
Yes, it is sad that some children expect everything they ask for and it's a shame because their parents are not really doing what is best for them.
I think we've forgotten that 'spoilt' is supposed to be taken literally ;) as in 'ruined'

It's possible to turn a really nice kid into a 'spoilt brat' by trying too hard :(

We live in a society that has very few moral or ethical values.

What happened to - you date someone for a while to make sure they are suitable, get engaged, get married, and then work to keep the marriage going? Nowadays it seems to be - first sign of a problem and flush the marriage certificate down the toilet.

Everything seems so short lived these days. Consumer goods and materialistic items are not worth anything in the first place. A relationship should be different.

Bet you lot can tell who has suffered a broken relationship/marriage on SF and who has not.

Dragon

Youve got to look at the other side of the coin. Years ago divorce was considered a disgrace,and couples stayed together even when they were unhappy.(Which made their children unhappy) Today men & women just dont put up with things like we did. Divorce is easier,and should be. Some partners just need disposing of, and quickly. !

Why dont we all watch Trisha! The solution to the worlds problems...right to your tellybox!

Originally posted by pattricia
Youve got to look at the other side of the coin. Years ago divorce was considered a disgrace,and couples stayed together even when they were unhappy.(Which made their children unhappy) Today men & women just dont put up with things like we did. Divorce is easier,and should be. Some partners just need disposing of, and quickly. !

I agree - sometimes marriages are just 'wrong' and need getting out of quickly.

Other times they're just going through a bad patch that will be resolved if the people concerned have time and space to think things through and talk. This takes time and commitment from both people to come to a suitable result - which MAY end up being divorce. But it seems too easy now to just say 'Oh, not working, let's split up and then in a year or so we can divorce.' Rather than actually say 'OK....we loved each other enough once to marry. Let's see if we can find what we once saw in each other - or something enw - and make the marriage work.' Marriages do NOT just happen - they're worked on and made.

Joe

I couldn't agree more Joe.

My aunty says 'if all those blokes who take their kids out on saturday had been doing exactly that in the first place, I bet the family would still be together'

And having worked with more than one bloke who's on his second relationship post-40, I'm finding it intriguing that they seem to suddenly undergo personality changes for long term relationship number 2...... Suddenly we dont need to work until 8pm in the office, and please and thank you and 'how are you' enter their vocabulary.

Why do you think their first relationship broke down?

I bet they think they haven't changed a bit - but wife number 2 is far more understanding :suspect: