bullying in schools!--as i work with school children i come across alot of kids who experience bullying!--do you think enough is done to help the victims?

No way, absolutely not, ever.
Never has & I can't see it changing. No one tackles the adult bullies in later life either; at work or elsewhere. :mad:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
No one tackles the adult bullies in later life either; at work or elsewhere. :mad:

I do :heyhey:

Nice one, will you come a bsh one for me? :(

come on stick to the main issue here!--serious answers please!
bullying is a very serious matter especially at school age!!-ive seen kids sobbing their hearts out over bullying!--its a heartbreaking sight!

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Nice one, will you come a bsh one for me? :(

If i was in England i would.

It's a hobby of mine. And it's true what they say bullies always back down.

We were sticking to the issues!

OK Mikey, keep yer pants on mate! :hihi:

I feel bullied here :confused:

Here, for your perusal, is Don's favourite Bullying Website! (http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm) which I found very usefull when I was suffering at the hands of crusty bullying women in the NHS.

There on track :thumbsup: :P :hihi:

I hate bullying. Always been teased whilst going through school but it was just names until secondry school came around then everything took a turn for a worst. The first couple of weeks was fine as everyone new was still busy making sense of it all and forming their friendships...

couple weeks in when people were settled the calling began again... then the shoving... then the violence.

I can remember one incident which happened when I was attending Waltheof 1994-1999...

Was surrounded by a group of lads whilst we were all waiting to be let into the sports center... it was raining and i had a new coat... one of the lads was calling me names but I was taking no notice... I thought this would stop em but it just got em angry cos I wasn't rising to them... one of the guys came over pulled my bag from my hands and threw it off the bridge we were all waiting on to the ground below... then this guy punched me in the face and then everyone else joined in whilst everyone stood there laughing and cheering... was horrible... what made it worse is that I saw the gym teacher coming up towards the crowd. He must've known what was going on but instead walked casually over to us and opend the door and told em to stop it. I went to get my bag and then was shouted at cos I was late to the lesson.

There were other incidents like this to happen... stabbed by pens, protractors... having my hair pulled, being bitten, spitted on... etc etc it was horrible and was all done by the same kids...

I eventually stopped going to school and the EWO came to the house saying I had to attend but luckily mum stood up for me as she herself had rang the school about my attacks but they told my mum it was kids being kids and that It was obligatory that I attended so I did start to.... I was scared and at unease at school... I started to have panic attacks... these guys would attack for no reason.

At the end of school... my attendance gradually improved thanks to an attendance group project (GAP) scheme which was devised by EWO. This scheme aimed to help 10 chosen kids who's attendance was so low that it affected how they performed in school.

Through this scheme... I gradually rebuilt my self confidence... eventhough the attacks were still being done...

Still in year 11 I was being bullied... at 16!! it's frankly shocking... the majority of teachers didn't give a crap!! I got standard G.C.S.E's from Waltheof... but at least it's not all a waste... Now, I'm studying at Sheffield Hallam and come along way now but completely simpathise with those being bullied in schools.

I believe that more can and SHOULD be done in schools. Harsher punishment for Bullying - simply 15-45 minute detentions and stern talks don't work. these sick people enjoy what they're doing - something must be done as Bullying is a sad thing! STOP IT NOW!

In closing, for parents with kids being bullied feel free to email me i would gladly talk to u about my experiences of bullying... jonpauldickinson@hotmail.com

thanks for reading...

Nice post thetorch.. highlights what generally happens to those bullied. I also did Waltheof and experienced bullying although never as physical as yours, more just the threats.

Gladly we learn from it and it shapes us into who we are. More does need to be done and the effective results shown to both bullys and those being bullied.

I say this as most people who are bullied stay silent and are not as brave as thetorch

Well done thetorch for firstly getting through an awful situation, and secondly for being brave enough to share with us what the slime balls did to you.

Good luck at Hallam, and hopefully one or two of those scumbags from Waltheof who put you through hell will read this and be brave enough to admit to the error of their ways and apologise to you, although most of them probably can't read.

For anyone who is suffering from bullying here are some web sites where you can look for help

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/26738935/

http://www.antibullying.net/

Remember also that bullying is assault and as such it can be reported to the Police, and the threat of that often makes the school take some action.

thanx to thetorch,youwhatref & owdlad!
its good to know that people like you are taking the thread seriously and are prepared to talk about your own experiences!--i know it takes alot of courage to talk about these things!----its a simple fact!--bullying is rife in schools and more often than not the victims suffer in silence!---the poor kids suffer a terrible loss of self esteem and confidence and believe you me it takes a hell of alot of getting back!(as you all will know!).i work with kids who suffer from these problems!--unfortunately alot of incidents are swept under the carpet,and the bullying escalates until it gets out of hand!---so ill answer my own question now!--no there is nowhere near enough done to stop bullying in schools and these anti-bullying policies are a joke at times(it hurts me to say it but its true!!!)
and no !--the bully dosent always back down!!!
ps--please think before you reply to this thread because there may be parents of children on this forum who have been bullied or they themselves may have suffered in their schooldays!
and remember it has led to suicide!--and we are talking about bullying in school not in later life cos these are the most important days of a young persons life!--hope you understand where im coming from.
thanx again for your replies
mikey:)

Originally posted by back2basics
And it's true what they say bullies always back down.


I have to say I disagree with you there mate- no they dont.
Unless you give them a hiding that is.

Bullies nowadays- go round in gangs, all of which would kick the seven shades out of you if you hit one of them, which makes them a lot harder to stop in this day and age.

My solution as a kid- was to beat the 7 shades out of anyone who bullied me, as my parents tought me not to stand for bullying at all, nowadays, its rarely one on one bullying, its more of a ganging up stylie.

My advice- and I know it wont be popular- pay someone to kick the bullies arse for you.

I know it sounds bad, but if you are a parent in this day and age- would you like to see your kids being beaten up for their cash each day? You are not allowed to physically hit the bullies themselves- pay someone bigger than the bully to warn them off your kids.. simple!

I was bullied from primary school to secondary school. Basically just name calling/intidation etc.

I did try and report it to the school but they did not take it seriously as the other girl involved was in the year below me. I also tried telling my mum but she didn't do anything either (she denies i ever spoke to her about it).

I can pretty much say it has almost ruled my life ever since.

I have no self-confidence, i can't make friends easily, i won't speak to groups of girls or large groups of people. I refused to go to colleage/uni and i really regret it.

I have been treated for depression for some years and i believe it started when i was at school.

If i ever have children i will have to seriouly think about sending them to school.

I look back and think about how good my life could have been if i had not got bullied at school and i hate those people who did it to me even more.

Originally posted by DaisyBoo
I was bullied from primary school to secondary school. Basically just name calling/intidation etc.

I did try and report it to the school but they did not take it seriously as the other girl involved was in the year below me. I also tried telling my mum but she didn't do anything either (she denies i ever spoke to her about it).

I can pretty much say it has almost ruled my life ever since.

I have no self-confidence, i can't make friends easily, i won't speak to groups of girls or large groups of people. I refused to go to colleage/uni and i really regret it.

I have been treated for depression for some years and i believe it started when i was at school.

If i ever have children i will have to seriouly think about sending them to school.

I look back and think about how good my life could have been if i had not got bullied at school and i hate those people who did it to me even more.

My best bit of advice for you- I think you are a very brave person to come on a public forum and tell us about your experiences like you have done, well done to you.. and to anyone who can come on here and tell us all what happened to them - just remember one thing- it was not ever your fault what happened to you back then

Thats the best advice my friend who has now sadly passed away gave to me and its stuck ever since.

EDIT: Just think, when you next see the bully working in a McDonalds- just remember who had the last laugh in life :thumbsup:

My parents brought me up to believe that bullying was wrong straight from the off - and although they told me to report what happened to teachers they also advised me that not much would ever come of it- so you have to fight back.

So I learned how to defend myself physically and mentally and fought back- one of the best things I ever did- you get a reputation which basically says- "I am not going to stand for any of your bullying crap- try me if you dare but you will reap the consequences"

I will teach that as well to my kids one day as well.

Nowadays, kids seem to me to be a lot nastier bullying wise and I think an extreme solution is required at the moment.

In the world we live in now in the UK, we cannot physically intimidate anyone without the fear of being sued or being legally affected in some way.

My idea of paying off someone older and bigger than a bully to help you if you are being bullied- seems mad- but I guarantee you now.. the bully will stop bullying you.

Bully the bully- it will work everytime.

I think bullies should be expossed and made to answer for what they've done.
No way do schools take this issue seriously enough not to mention the deep psychological effects it has on they're victims.
My daughhter refused to go to school because of this, each time I complained I got very little response. School could'nt face the fact that this happening in This Perfect school.
Makes me sick that that my daughter has now gone off the rails, completely and ended up pregnant, no education, no sense of responsibility.
If she'd been helped by school to tackle her problems she would have had a fighting chance of leaving at the proper time with an arm full of quals.

Originally posted by bigredbox
I think bullies should be expossed and made to answer for what they've done.
No way do schools take this issue seriously enough not to mention the deep psychological effects it has on they're victims.
My daughhter refused to go to school because of this, each time I complained I got very little response. School could'nt face the fact that this happening in This Perfect school.
Makes me sick that that my daughter has now gone off the rails, completely and ended up pregnant, no education, no sense of responsibility.
If she'd been helped by school to tackle her problems she would have had a fighting chance of leaving at the proper time with an arm full of quals.

Again, I feel sorry for you for the situation that the school has left you in. They dont seem to care about anyone other than themselves do they- all they are bothered about is getting kids into schools and keeping them in there.. and getting the cash from them.

I think exposing the bullies would be good- I dont know if it would be a bigger ego boost for them though? But I would certainly name and shame them definitely.

thanx for sharing your experiences with us DaisyBoo!--i know it must hurt even to talk about it!---i remember when i was at school there was very little if at all any bullying because the bullies would have got a good hiding from the teachers aswell as the victims parents!--but alas over the years all that has gone out of the window!--in fact if the victim does fight back or as was suggested pay someone to sought them out, it would be the victim who would be in trouble and in the other case whoever paid the bully would be in court!!--it seems you just cant win nowadays!!--oh and of course youll always get the do- gooder saying oh yes but youve got to look at it from the bullies point of view(you know the usual drivel--they come from a sad background,there dads on drugs,their mothers left etc.!!)---that kind of statement makes my blood boil!!
thanx again everyone who have made sensible contibutions and who have experienced bullying,your child or yourselves!-and spoke about it--it may help others in the long run!
mikey:)
ps -i wish you all the best DaisyBoo and im so sorry to hear about what your daughter had to endure ANGELUS!

i feel that you should try to stand up for yourself, not just physically but mentally. I was lucky not to have experienced bullying until I moved to a small village high school where I didn't fit in from the start. My family travelled extensively while I was growing up so was used to making friends quickly in new places but with the advantage that we usually were in a high expatriate community so everyone was in the same position. However when I moved back to the U.K. the school was full of people that hadn't ever travelled, were in the same classes from start to end of education and couldn't relate to my experiences. The bullying came as snidey comments, that I was lying about what I had had the opportunity to do, basically my persective of life was a little broader than their's and it was difficult to understand how they could be so cruel. Where i had always been interested in others (including theirs) lives and experiences.

I put up with it for a number of months, it gradually got worse as the ignoring them didn't seem to be working.
I ended up writing a poem on night about how I was feeling and what I thought was causing it. How I wasn't going to give in and follow the crowd just because they wanted me to.
My one and only friend at the time read it and suggested that I read it out in the weekly class meeting. This is a major deal for me as I had always hated public speaking, and the recent bullying had almost robbed my voice and confidence completely. However, after much soul searching, I decided that the chances of them actually listening was slim so I had nothing to loose.

It was great watching them skirm as they realised that although there was 15 of them reguarlly making my life hell that I was taking them all on but not sinking to their level. This didn't make them all whoop with cheers or anything Hollywood film ending like but realised that I wasn't afraid and wasn't going to hide away from them or my life any more.
Things got a little better and some of the ones that had been hanging on this group because they thought there was saftey in numbers, drifted away.

The next year the school set up a Bully Council where the students acted as an advice centre and ear for other students that were experiencing bullying. Each side was given a chance to speak and explain what was going on, the consquences of actions. Teachers were involved but mostly run by the students. What was interesting is that a couple of the kids who had bullied me became councilors and after the first session came to me and apologised for their past actions.

Sorry this has turned in to a bit of an epic but this is the first time I have written it (almost) down. I know this approach won't work but I hope it can help someone out there. Don't be afraid of who you are, it's more than likely that they are scare of you for one reason or another. Additionally please don't think that you have to say things to people to fit in with a group, always imagine what it would feel like to have it done to yourself.

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. :)

cheers for sharing that with us tamarindi!:)
it does take guts to talk about these things
thanx again,
mikey.

No not enough is done and it ought to be, because it can affect someone's whole life. Any child being bullied needs to have a safe place to go where they can report what's happened, and what is 'done' about it must also fit in with that child's wishes to a certain extent. This should be coupled with self-esteem building for kids.

Sadly much of it goes unnoticed by teachers because they simply have far too many kids in one class to look after/teach. I say 'look after' because that's what it's come to these days in many schools sadly. A lot of bullying is because the bully seeks attention - and it cuts across all social divides.

I had people start on me (who didn't?!) and my way of dealing with it was to flatten them. Luckily my teachers did not punish me for doing this as they could see I was not violent in any normal circumstances. But every individual case is different, and what I did might be more risky these days. The basic thing is that there should always be an adult who will stick up for any child being bullied - but it might not be the teacher.

Not enough is done in schools in respect of bullying they all says they do not tollerate bullying but they do not do anything to help the people that are bullied (this is in my experiance anyway some schools may be different)

I was bullied from the minute I went to secondary school until I left and went to work where I found that actually people can be nice.

It wasnt just the one person it seemed to be most of the so called "popular" people. I was quite quiet at school and wanted to do well so buckled down and studied. I wouldnt say I was a teachers pet or anything but I was never in any trouble and this seemed to make me an easy target. I discussed it with teachers as did my mum but they just said they could not do anything as it would probably just make it worse and to just ignore them.

I even stopped going out after school as one of the bullies lived on my street and as soon as he saw me he would come out hurling abuse at me or throwing things.

I can however say that since leaving school I am enjoying life and am in a loving relationship although it still upsets me when I think about it. They say your school days are the best days of your life but how can they be when things like this are going on?

To anyone else who is going through this do not let them get you down you are better than them.

Zero Tolerance of bullying - what do you do? What do you expect the school to do? Expel the student or make an example? Not going to work. Where do you draw the line anyhow?

If you call someone a name they do not like then are you bullying them? Sticks and stones.

Don't misunderstand - I detest bullies. Always have. Always will. Just not sure where this imaginary line is as it keeps shifting with the years.

Some of this has to be put down to a generation of whimpering softies. Bullying is not a new thing, but in my experience there were not so many who would report being called a swot as being bullied.

Definition of being bullied?

Dragon

I experienced some bullying at school, but it wasn't 'major' - the odd name calling, the odd kicking, the odd intimidation.

Over two years I dealt with it by splitting off people from the bullying group, one at a time, and either having a fight with them or getting them to lay off.

How to help the victims?

Get the police involved as early as is appropriate. If someone is old enough to cause long term psychological and physical harm to someone then they're old enough to be dealt with by 'big boy's rules'.

When I was a School Governor it was obvious that most bullies came from families that were also ill disciplied and didn't give a toss about their kids. You need to discipline the whole family rather than just the individual child.

Joe