If females are so loyal and have such high standards and are so against men cheating, what I want to know is, where do all the mistresses come from ???

Do they all live on some Island somewhere, is there an unknown community of them hiding out in some disused warehouse ?

It seems a bit puzzling to me, that's all.....

They're all Shemales.....:D

If you find out, let me know I could use a couple :hihi: :heyhey: :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Kry10
If females are so loyal and have such high standards and are so against men cheating, what I want to know is, where do all the mistresses come from ???
It's hte men they like to be loyal, and the rules apply only to one party ;)

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
If you find out, let me know I could use a couple :hihi: :heyhey: :thumbsup:

I second the motion! :thumbsup: :hihi: :heyhey: :D

Originally posted by Strix
It's hte men they like to be loyal, and the rules apply only to one party ;)
what does hte mean, Strix? :confused:

you can find them between the master and the matress:heyhey:

Alot of mistresses...and I am NOT generalising here or having a go at anyone...are women who feel that they do not deserve any better. By that I mean that due to childhood experiences (sometimes relations with their father...or lack of them) they feel that they have to aim for something they can not have. I have spoken to a number of women who feel like this. Many, as children, have craved the attention of their Father, but to no avail. They seem to develop this 'wanting what they can not have' pattern well in to life and in to personal adult relationships.
Of course, many women just want whatever they can get their hands on with little regard for the repercussions and consequences to themselves and to others. Some just don't care and have few morals and little respect. Some genuinely fall in love...but again, are in a position where they feel they should not have to go without what they want so sod the other parties involved.

Err....Mistresses-r-us?

I've often wondered why this term was used, though. A man in a similar situation is not called a 'Master' for example - bounder or cad, but nor Master.

Joe

i only know of one, who is the mistress to a wealthy businessman. she has a daughter to an earlier marriage.
she now doeant work, has paid for detatched house, flash sports car every other year, countless holidays abroad, private shool for daughter - yep all paid for by her older & i mean older "lover"
why do poor blokes never have mistresses - they only have affairs!

Originally posted by Kry10
If females are so loyal and have such high standards and are so against men cheating

Who said females are loyal and have high standards? ... they have just got you believing their propraganda :P

Originally posted by willman
why do poor blokes never have mistresses - they only have affairs!

The same applies if you are rich and mad you are 'an eccentric', poor and you're just a plain 'looney'!:confused:

Being a mistress sounds like so much fun, I think. You'd get all the best things (errrm ...... sex & presents) but wouldn't have to pick up grotty old socks & iron their shirts. Yep, I can understand the appeal. :hihi:


It history, it was considered quite normal and widely accepted, it wasn't even that secretive. People just don't get away with such behaviour now.

Can I just point out where there is a mistress there is also a cheat :suspect:
Takes 2 2 tango & all that :rolleyes:

People don't get away with it now cos they have more respect for themselves. I suppose it is the same for anything that can go on behind closed doors. If you are the hard done to party and are suffering from what is taking place then why should you put up with it? It may have been commonplace in the past but do you really think people liked such things going on? They probs just accepted it. Maybe in the past, if a wife was being hard done by she turned a blind eye in order to keep the peace and remain in a safe and stable environment. Perhaps she did not have the option to do anything else in the past without finding herself jobless and possibly homeless. That does not have to be the case these days. The injured party has many more options and perhaps more chance of a handsome prince or princess waiting for them upon their escape!

mistresses have historically been part of the well to do society.
hence the general population normally only have affairs.
how many men can afford to run two household budgets from their wages, ususally there is a great financial burden.

(there is a a clause in a will that is commonly referred to as the "mistress clause )

I have female friend with no qaulms about being 'the other woman'. She lives by the maxim "if his woman can't keep him happy, that's not my fault".

I should point out that she doesn't actively persue men who are in a relationship.

N

In a relationship it is not solely down to the female to keep her husband entertained and happy. It is a partnership. He may be happy but is having his cake and eating it. Maybe his wife is off sleeping with someone else too. Who knows. I don't condone it in the slightest...why bother getting married if you are not going to adhere to the rules. Besides, single men are much more 'available'. No hassle, no stress, no consequence. Everyone's a winner!

I've just been laughing at the fact that when you open this thread, the ads to the left offer you "Great Deals on Mistresses" at eBay.

:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

Originally posted by Babooshka
In a relationship it is not solely down to the female to keep her husband entertained and happy. It is a partnership. He may be happy but is having his cake and eating it. Maybe his wife is off sleeping with someone else too. Who knows. I don't condone it in the slightest...why bother getting married if you are not going to adhere to the rules. Besides, single men are much more 'available'. No hassle, no stress, no consequence. Everyone's a winner!

I wasn't necessarily indicating married men when I made my comment.

BUT, and I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here, although it is a partnership, if the woman is refusing her partner's sexual overtures for no good reason there's not much he can do.

The opposite is, naturally, appliable.

Originally posted by daverity
The same applies if you are rich and mad you are 'an eccentric', poor and you're just a plain 'looney'!:confused:

If you're rich, you have a 'lovechild'.

If you're poor, you have a...

Originally posted by liencam
I have female friend with no qaulms about being 'the other woman'. She lives by the maxim "if his woman can't keep him happy, that's not my fault".

I should point out that she doesn't actively persue men who are in a relationship.

N
Got a mobile number :P

Originally posted by liencam
I wasn't necessarily indicating married men when I made my comment.

BUT, and I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here, although it is a partnership, if the woman is refusing her partner's sexual overtures for no good reason there's not much he can do.

The opposite is, naturally, appliable.

I have to say I disagree. There is a lot he can do. She probably does have a reason but he just has not bothered to take the time or effort to find out. I feel that I can not comment too much because I don't know the situation, but it seems to me that if there is a problem in a relationship then it is down to both parties to resolve that problem, whatever it may be. Maybe they just need to talk, maybe they need to talk to someone else. However, they are duty bound by marriage to try their damndest to solve the matter. If anyone has to sneak around in order to do something (whilst married) then it is obviously wrong. If his wife is happy with the situation then she is a fool, but that is her decision not mine. If he can tell his wife what he is up to, fine, if not......well, it is a pretty ****ty marriage by all accounts. Sounds to me like they need to address deep-seated problems.

I once 'went out' with a man who was married....separated and in the middle of divorce, and THAT was bad enough! I felt terrible even though I had nothing to do with what had split them up some time before. I really don't know how people justify it to themselves, indeed, WANT such a situation for themselves. It is all so messy and unnecessary.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Got a mobile number :P

Got a mistress.

JOKE (before the Jam Makers set about me!)

:D

Originally posted by Babooshka
I have to say I disagree. There is a lot he can do. She probably does have a reason but he just has not bothered to take the time or effort to find out. I feel that I can not comment too much because I don't know the situation, but it seems to me that if there is a problem in a relationship then it is down to both parties to resolve that problem, whatever it may be. Maybe they just need to talk, maybe they need to talk to someone else. However, they are duty bound by marriage to try their damndest to solve the matter. If anyone has to sneak around in order to do something (whilst married) then it is obviously wrong. If his wife is happy with the situation then she is a fool, but that is her decision not mine. If he can tell his wife what he is up to, fine, if not......well, it is a pretty ****ty marriage by all accounts. Sounds to me like they need to address deep-seated problems.

I once 'went out' with a man who was married....separated and in the middle of divorce, and THAT was bad enough! I felt terrible even though I had nothing to do with what had split them up some time before. I really don't know how people justify it to themselves, indeed, WANT such a situation for themselves. It is all so messy and unnecessary.

Sorry, but, I made a point of saying my statement wasn't wholly about married couples.

And I was playing Devil's Advocate to a hypothetical situation.

:thumbsup:

Originally posted by Babooshka
In a relationship it is not solely down to the female to keep her husband entertained and happy. It is a partnership. He may be happy but is having his cake and eating it. Maybe his wife is off sleeping with someone else too. Who knows. I don't condone it in the slightest...why bother getting married if you are not going to adhere to the rules. Besides, single men are much more 'available'. No hassle, no stress, no consequence. Everyone's a winner!

not everyone may think that 'the rules' are what you consider them to be. So if a couple decide that they can both have extramarital sex then who are you to judge?

I think the main reason the whole mistress thing has gone out of fashion is one of changing morallity.

Originally posted by Babooshka
I have to say I disagree. There is a lot he can do. She probably does have a reason but he just has not bothered to take the time or effort to find out. I feel that I can not comment too much because I don't know the situation, but it seems to me that if there is a problem in a relationship then it is down to both parties to resolve that problem, whatever it may be. Maybe they just need to talk, maybe they need to talk to someone else. However, they are duty bound by marriage to try their damndest to solve the matter. If anyone has to sneak around in order to do something (whilst married) then it is obviously wrong. If his wife is happy with the situation then she is a fool, but that is her decision not mine. If he can tell his wife what he is up to, fine, if not......well, it is a pretty ****ty marriage by all accounts. Sounds to me like they need to address deep-seated problems.

I once 'went out' with a man who was married....separated and in the middle of divorce, and THAT was bad enough! I felt terrible even though I had nothing to do with what had split them up some time before. I really don't know how people justify it to themselves, indeed, WANT such a situation for themselves. It is all so messy and unnecessary.

I don't think you're really looking at the issue objectively.
Marriage doesn't have to be what the church tries to sell you, make it fit your life, not your life fit what they want.

They come from heaven, I supose if your a desperate or "my wife does'nt understand me" sort of bloke.
All well and good if they get away with it but hell and heartbreak when they don't.

Originally posted by liencam
I have female friend with no qaulms about being 'the other woman'. She lives by the maxim "if his woman can't keep him happy, that's not my fault".

I should point out that she doesn't actively persue men who are in a relationship.

N

but is she a kept woman or just his bit on the side?

Originally posted by willman
but is she a kept woman or just his bit on the side?

She's single at the minute.

She's a demanding li'l thing tho!

:D

Originally posted by liencam
She's single at the minute.

She's a demanding li'l thing tho!

:D
It keeps getting better ;)
So where did we land on this mobile number issue ;)

technically though you're not a mistress unless you are financially supported by the man.
otherwise you are just "his bit on the side", "other woman" ,"affair" etc.

i agree with sugarnspice - sounds like a great job. If theres anyone out there.........rich, older married guys, i'll gladly be your bit on the side if you ensconce me in a parisian apartment with jewellery and furs. I could wear thick perfume and smoke gauloises with a long cigarette holder and call you "Dahlink"

Originally posted by anabel
i agree with sugarnspice - sounds like a great job. If theres anyone out there.........rich, older married guys, i'll gladly be your bit on the side if you ensconce me in a parisian apartment with jewellery and furs. I could wear thick perfume and smoke gauloises with a long cigarette holder and call you "Dahlink"
How about a night in Ibis hotel and a bag o' fish n chips ;)

Not judging anyone Cyclone. That is my opinion. Most extra marital affairs, if you will, are NOT consented by both parties. That is the problem. As I stated in a previous post, if the other knows about it and accepts it then that is their business. When one person has to lie about it (or lie about anything they are doing, be it sexually-related or otherwise) then it is wrong. Are we not told throughout our lives that lying is not right?

I have a problem with the whole marriage thing anyway but in my opinion, if you get married in a church and say those vows that the church advocates, then I do believe that you should follow them and stick to them. If you have another kind of wedding with 'clauses' then the couple can do what the hell they like. I do not have a problem with that.

So, if only one partner is doing the cheating, Cyc, and the other party does not have a clue about it and wants everything to be hunkydory and have the marriage for which she or he signed up....then THAT is wrong...in my opinion. I never said anything about consenting partners doing their own thing. That seems to be a separate matter not previously mentioned on this thread.

It just strikes me that if the shoe were on the other foot, and the 'mistress' were the wife...she would be less than impressed at her husbands behaviour if she had not consented to him having the extra-marital affair that is.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
So where did we land on this mobile number issue ;)

About a mile wide....

:D

Originally posted by Babooshka
Not judging anyone Cyclone. That is my opinion. Most extra marital affairs, if you will, are NOT consented by both parties. That is the problem. As I stated in a previous post, if the other knows about it and accepts it then that is their business. When one person has to lie about it (or lie about anything they are doing, be it sexually-related or otherwise) then it is wrong. Are we not told throughout our lives that lying is not right?

I have a problem with the whole marriage thing anyway but in my opinion, if you get married in a church and say those vows that the church advocates, then I do believe that you should follow them and stick to them. If you have another kind of wedding with 'clauses' then the couple can do what the hell they like. I do not have a problem with that.

So, if only one partner is doing the cheating, Cyc, and the other party does not have a clue about it and wants everything to be hunkydory and have the marriage for which she or he signed up....then THAT is wrong...in my opinion. I never said anything about consenting partners doing their own thing. That seems to be a separate matter not previously mentioned on this thread.

It just strikes me that if the shoe were on the other foot, and the 'mistress' were the wife...she would be less than impressed at her husbands behaviour if she had not consented to him having the extra-marital affair that is.

you did say that historically it was wrong though, even thought it was widely accepted at the time...

eh? Where did I actually write those words? I just said that in the past women and men (and I mean the non-consenting ones) probs stayed in the relationship anyway because leaving would probs have been a less appealling option. What I said was wrong was when people carry on their other business behind the non-consenting partners back. Surely, nobody who loves their partner dearly is happy to see them having an affair when they don't want them to. If that is ever the situation, then the affair is wrong. In my opinion.

Babooshka, your name is appropriate for this thread, if I remember the lyrics correctly.

I also feel that marriage is somewhat outdated and that the vows advocated by the church are somewhat in need of modernisation. I do, however, feel that their belief system is what they feel necessary and so anyone marrying under this system is bound by their rules. Guess I stick to the rules, and if I don't like them then I find another way of doing things rather than breaking them.

Originally posted by Babooshka
eh? Where did I actually write those words? I just said that in the past women and men (and I mean the non-consenting ones) probs stayed in the relationship anyway because leaving would probs have been a less appealling option. What I said was wrong was when people carry on their other business behind the non-consenting partners back. Surely, nobody who loves their partner dearly is happy to see them having an affair when they don't want them to. If that is ever the situation, then the affair is wrong. In my opinion.

maybe i just misunderstood what you meant then.

Of course the whole 'ownership' of our partners and the jealousy that it engenders is not the only way to do things. there have been succesfull societies where polygamy or communal groups were the norm.
It's quite unusual amongst mammals to form paired relationships and stick with them till death.

Gosh Nick, how right you are!!!

Originally posted by liencam
About a mile wide....

:D
Ha ha... I like it. :thumbsup:

Isn't Utah one of those places? If you know what you getting in to then that is fine but speaking along the lines of this thread, I doubt this wife understood she would have to share her husband when she married him. Of course I could be wrong.

Originally posted by liencam
I wasn't necessarily indicating married men when I made my comment.

BUT, and I'm just playing Devil's Advocate here, although it is a partnership, if the woman is refusing her partner's sexual overtures for no good reason there's not much he can do.

The opposite is, naturally, appliable.

I totally agree with this- I think there comes a time when a bloke has to say enoughs enough really.. not that I condone cheating- but if say my missus just totally went off sex for no reason.. and would not tell me why- it would bring some difficulties into our relationship I would say.

Someone being there for you when your partner isnt- is mightily appealing I would have thought for a sex starved, and not appreciated hubby! Not that I am one mind :)

If someone feels there relationship has reach the end of the cliffe (so to speak) they should end it or mend it before they move on to another sevual partner especially in this day & age :nod:

Originally posted by btbwild
If someone feels there relationship has reach the end of the cliffe (so to speak) they should end it or mend it before they move on to another sevual partner especially in this day & age :nod:

fine if you find it impossible to seperate a relationship from sex.

Originally posted by Cyclone
fine if you find it impossible to seperate a relationship from sex.

Originally posted by Cyclone
fine if you find it impossible to seperate a relationship from sex.

or have too much ££ to loose by getting divorced.
thats the case with people i know of.
he's rolling, his wife couldn't care & they don't want all the issue with houses/cars/business interests.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Cyclone
fine if you find it impossible to seperate a relationship from sex. [

Cheating is cheating in any shape or form

I don't think a relationship is solely based on sex what about trust,honesty or in fact integrity if somethings wrong work it out or walk away BEFORE they move to new sexual partner or new relationship :(

Before I get stomped on this should apply to male or female in my humble opinion :)

mmm - ok i'll confess, I went out with a bloke who was in a relationship for a while a couple of years back- I DID NOT know about his girlfriend when it started - although I didn't try to hard to find out if he was attatched. I was just a normal girl out with my mates and there he was (singing on stage in a robbie williams tribute band) - he got me on stage to sing with him and it all kind of escalated from there.

I fell for him very quickly - listened to him telling me his relationship wasn't serious only to watch him propose to that girlfriend 6 months later at a gig in the middle of a rendition of "she's the one" - and he got me up on stage to sing with him right after!

The number of times I have relived that night and what i SHOULD have said down the microphone... He was still texting me trying it on after they married...

So - technically I wasn't a mistress - just a very silly girl in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Originally posted by absynthfairy
mmm - ok i'll confess, I went out with a bloke who was in a relationship for a while a couple of years back- I DID NOT know about his girlfriend when it started - although I didn't try to hard to find out if he was attatched. I was just a normal girl out with my mates and there he was (singing on stage in a robbie williams tribute band) - he got me on stage to sing with him and it all kind of escalated from there.

I fell for him very quickly - listened to him telling me his relationship wasn't serious only to watch him propose to that girlfriend 6 months later at a gig in the middle of a rendition of "she's the one" - and he got me up on stage to sing with him right after!

The number of times I have relived that night and what i SHOULD have said down the microphone... He was still texting me trying it on after they married...

So - technically I wasn't a mistress - just a very silly girl in the wrong place at the wrong time.

you're only legally his mistress if he financially supports you i.e u don't work & he pays for everything.

I wish! Imagine if he'd of been as rich as Robbie! That'd been alright...

Originally posted by absynthfairy
mmm - ok i'll confess, I went out with a bloke who was in a relationship for a while a couple of years back- I DID NOT know about his girlfriend when it started - although I didn't try to hard to find out if he was attatched. I was just a normal girl out with my mates and there he was (singing on stage in a robbie williams tribute band) - he got me on stage to sing with him and it all kind of escalated from there.

I fell for him very quickly - listened to him telling me his relationship wasn't serious only to watch him propose to that girlfriend 6 months later at a gig in the middle of a rendition of "she's the one" - and he got me up on stage to sing with him right after!

The number of times I have relived that night and what i SHOULD have said down the microphone... He was still texting me trying it on after they married...

So - technically I wasn't a mistress - just a very silly girl in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We all make mistakes I would have kicked his sorry a** & moved on :P
Why r some people so insensitive they can treat someone they claim to have feelings for? Not only did he do dirty on his wife to b he did it to u as well & is highly likely doing the same thing after he married her I hope he gets his payback some day :P
I would have said something over the mike & it would not have congratulations:D

Not everything is as black and white as you seem to think, there are shades of grey in the world, it may not be nice, but, it is a fact.

Have since found out i wasn't the first - and i'm sure I won't be the last... He took the "role" of Robbie far too literally I think - had some sort of "rockstar" complex...

I got over it - it was the shock more than anything... Am very happy now!

Originally posted by absynthfairy
Have since found out i wasn't the first - and i'm sure I won't be the last... He took the "role" of Robbie far too literally I think - had some sort of "rockstar" complex...

I got over it - it was the shock more than anything... Am very happy now!

Glad to here it m8 sounds like a lucky escape to me :D

Kry10 not sure if u were meaning my comment m8 but I agree not everything is black & white but people get into these situations & sometimes it make them stronger sometimes it makes them vunerable lifes a b**** in many shapes & forms in my humble opinion :heyhey:

Originally posted by Kry10
Not everything is as black and white as you seem to think, there are shades of grey in the world, it may not be nice, but, it is a fact.

This is such a complex subject. Many a true word has been spoken but none more than the above. People behave in millions of different ways for millions of different reasons...........they always have done and always will do. However, if any woman is on the verge of becoming a Mistress...........consider the words of the late, great Sir James Goldsmith..........' When a man marries his Mistress........he's creating a job vacancy'

Originally posted by btbwild
If someone feels there relationship has reach the end of the cliffe (so to speak) they should end it or mend it before they move on to another sevual partner especially in this day & age :nod:

I think that my point was that either partner wanting to have sex outside their relationship doesn't have to signify the end of their relationshi which is what you implied.
That's only the case if you can't seperate the two in your head.

Originally posted by Cyclone
I think that my point was that either partner wanting to have sex outside their relationship doesn't have to signify the end of their relationshi which is what you implied.


True, they could have an "open" relationship.

Nobody really knows what goes off inside other peoples' relationships, but, when one partner decides to stray, for whatever reason, there must be some fault, on the other side, no matter how small.

If the relationship is really at an end, then it is up to both parties to accept this.

I have been involved with two married women, and have since realised that it was they who were having the most fun, as they got all the "kicks" whilst maintaining their safe (if boring) lifestyles with their husbands.

And, although it seemed like fun at the time, it left me feeling a little "used".

Originally posted by Babooshka
Alot of mistresses...and I am NOT generalising here or having a go at anyone...are women who feel that they do not deserve any better. By that I mean that due to childhood experiences (sometimes relations with their father...or lack of them) they feel that they have to aim for something they can not have. I have spoken to a number of women who feel like this. Many, as children, have craved the attention of their Father, but to no avail. They seem to develop this 'wanting what they can not have' pattern well in to life and in to personal adult relationships.
Of course, many women just want whatever they can get their hands on with little regard for the repercussions and consequences to themselves and to others. Some just don't care and have few morals and little respect. Some genuinely fall in love...but again, are in a position where they feel they should not have to go without what they want so sod the other parties involved.

the girls I know who go for married men are like that. They feel they don't deserve any better

although i cannot speak for all, and their own particular moral code, I deplore infidelity.

I have been cheated on, by two ex partners, and could never want to be responsible for causing the sort of pain that i experienced.

Indeed, when I found an ex- was double-dealing (he made out that he was split up from his long-term partner...) and that I was being "had for the chump", he was shown the door, so fast that his feet didn't touch the ground.

I wanted nothing more to do with him. He just no longer had "potential" as a partner. My thought was... "if he can cheat on *her* with me, then who would he be cheating on *me* with?

'Cos, let's face it... it'd be even-odds that, if he'd cheat on her, he'd cheat on me. and no way was I prepared to be the "little wifey" sitting at home waiting, patiently whilst he went off out "boffing" owt with a pulse". (stuff that for a game of soldiers!!)

If my partner didn't care enough about me, or our relationship, to be faithful, or at least give me the kudos of breaking things off with me first, before going "boffing" someone else, then, "Pffft! bye-bye, buster!" you don't figure in MY future plans!!!!

I had no end of difficulties with my ex- .... seperate rooms for almost four years; no support, and encouragement, and him refusing to have any physical contact whatsoever... (not just in a sexual sense) but despite that, and how distressing it was to feel rejected, and "unloved/ unlovely", I remained 110% faithful to him, during the duration of our relationship. (despite many offers i had, to stray) Maybe it was the hope that things between us would improve?

I dunno... but I can hold my head up, and say I never , ever, cheated on him. I finished our relationship, and a few months later met my current fella.

The exes may call me many things (lol), but "cheat" is not one of them!

PT