I have,
As of last week decided to split wiith my Partner of 13 yrs.
Big big difficult decision ---one that I hope I will not regret.

He does not want this and says he will reform, a statement I do not believe anymore after yrs of thinking it will be OK now,, it never was..
We have travelledl the world with him partying and me picking up the pieces. Some of it was good and he taght me an awful lot. You see he has a brilliant mind, and when I was asked why I stayed with him ( which I frequently was ) I said for his mind.
But his mind and body are most of the time dulled with alcohol and so I feel I am living with a 2 yr old. I'm afraid when he falls on the stairs and when he stumbles around the house, so I am off fora more peaceful existance.

Do you blame me/

hazel

Did you give him a chance to reform ?

Can't say I can relate to something as serious as this, but as with all painful break-ups, you just need to keep yourself very busy. Perhaps fill up the free time you will gain by taking up a couple of hobbies, joining a club of some sort of interest?

Hope if works out for you.

Gaz

If you're unhappy Hazel, then you're definately doing the right thing. Remember, we're here for a good time, not for a long time!

Hope it goes well.

K x

Nick 2



Innunerable times

hazel

Originally posted by hazel
Nick 2

Innunerable times

hazel

Ditch the loser then :)

Originally posted by Kristian
If you're unhappy Hazel, then you're definately doing the right thing. Remember, we're here for a good time, not for a long time!

Hope it goes well.

K x

I had to read that seven times before I got what I believe to be the gyst. If you was unhappy then you was right to leave him - not if you are unhappy now you have left him then you are doing the right thing.

I thought for a moment you was saying we are only doing the right thing when we are unhappy.

Gads! Need to get my brain in gear.

Dragon

good luck Hazel. It was a brave thing to do.

**hugs**

Point taken Dragon. I guess what I meant to say was:

If you were unhappy Hazel, then you're definately doing the right thing. Remember, we're here for a good time, not for a long time!

youve done the right thing hazel--youve got to think about yourself for once
mikeyx:)

Good luck. It will be hard and sometimes it may feel easier to go back to what you know. I wish you all the best x

Alcohol addiction is a terrible, terrible thing. I hate to say this but not everyone can escape it once it gets them.

If you have waited all this time for things to get better and they haven't then my opinion is you are doing the right thing.

Not all endings are happy.

Sorry.

If your partner really intends to do something about his problem he'll do it even if you go. I can understand why you don't believe him. I lived for years with an alcoholic (not a partner). Making the break is such a hard thing to do. Accepting whatever you do, whatever choices you make have no bearing on whether he drinks or not is harder still I think. Co dependency messes with your head more than anyone can believe unless they've experienced it.

Some days you'll be full of self doubt, worrying if you've done the right thing. When that happens make sure you reach out for friends who understand. Remind yourself it's a low point that will pass & that you've gotten through the worst bits.

You're not to blame for any of this. I'm sure you've been through far more things than you'll want to share on here but none of them were your fault & neither is the fact that you can't take anymore. I'd say that you deserve to be acknowledged for making the break rather than continuing with the whole soul destroying cycle of things.

I wish you all the luck in the world - your life starts again from here on in!

Hazel, dont waste your time with this man.Life is too short,and you sound around the same age as me,so ditch him then get on with living. You can never reform an alcoholic , so dont try. I just feel honoured that youve confided in The Forum ! Good Luck.

Happy endings only happen in story books and films based on story books.

Someone always has a problem with someone - even if the someone is themselves.

Do the best you can and be satisfied you have done the best you can.

I used to like getting pisced when I was a teenager, and then one day I realised I was just making an idiot of myself. I do not need alcohol to do that so I gave up drinking. Best thing I ever did. I hate alcoholics but I hate those who do not realise they are alcoholics just as much.

Dragon

Hazel, you've been very brave to decide to make a new life ... we all know it's not easy when you've been with someone for years ...

All very best wishes - and remember, lots of ears and shoulders at your disposal here ... (((x)))

Hazel, i've sent you a PM

Poppins

Hazel, I know I'm a relative newcomer but I'd just like to say I think you're being pretty damn brave- I doubt I could do it. Hope all goes well for you - and you'll have your doubts but be firm. And if he should change his ways- who knows? I am a persistent romantic fool sorry. Love Mary

Thanks for all your letters of support, I feel I have many friends, which is very comforting for me.
My Partner is being very nice and sober now he is coming out of the after effects of the days, prob wks of alcohol..
I mean non stop.
But it's far to late. Words are spoken that cannot be taken back---- behaviour that lingers in my memory but not his.

Thanks again
hazel

Originally posted by hazel
[B
But it's far to late. Words are spoken that cannot be taken back---- behaviour that lingers in my memory but not his [/B]

I'll be thinking of these words all day, possibly the best two lines i've seen on any forum.

wishing you strength and happiness for the future hazel :)

Originally posted by hazel
Thanks for all your letters of support, I feel I have many friends, which is very comforting for me.
My Partner is being very nice and sober now he is coming out of the after effects of the days, prob wks of alcohol..
I mean non stop.
But it's far to late. Words are spoken that cannot be taken back---- behaviour that lingers in my memory but not his.

Thanks again
hazel Hazel, remember this " A leopard doesnt change its spots "

Hazel, hope you are feeling ok. A major change to your life like this isn't easy, but sounds like you're strong.

You've done the right thing Hazel, time to meet old and new friends and keep busy as another poster stated. You will have times of doubts but remember why you did it in the first place.

He may change but it's like painting over the cracks, it may look new but the cracks are still there.

Hazel
I know that no words from me can express how brave you are to have opened up and shared with us the hurt you feel inside right now. I also know that you will have thought long and hard before making this difficult decision, so all I can do is offer the same supportive words to you as the others on here, and wish you happiness in your future life. Good luck my friend.

Originally posted by owdlad
Hazel
... so all I can do is offer the same supportive words to you as the others on here, and wish you happiness in your future life. Good luck my friend.

I wanted to post somthing, but there's nothing I can add to owdlad's comments. Good luck.

Hazel you are doing the right thing, I have been there as well, was in a 13 yr relationship and it was going nowhere, promises to change, but didnt work, and as they say ....

...a leopard never changes his spots.

You will be stronger for this and find that you have made the right descison in the future, good luck to you and whatever you do.

growing up as the child of an alcoholic father i can safely say that leopards can hide their spots fairly well for a while - but they are still there underneath.

Good luck to you Hazel. This is the hard part with all the practical and financial arrangements to be made - a path along which there are some painful reminders of what has passed - but remember that the things which seem scary and unfamiliar now will be comfortable and positive in a few months.

Its like the crysalis stage - all the work goes on inside - one day to emerge as a beautiful butterfly

PM me of you want to chat.

Hi Hazel

It's a brave decision to take and I wish you nothing but happiness. You must feel able to cope otherwise you wouldn't make this move I suppose? Will the peaceful place still be in Sheffield? Keep in touch.

Originally posted by pete_jim
Hi Hazel

It's a brave decision to take and I wish you nothing but happiness. You must feel able to cope otherwise you wouldn't make this move I suppose? Will the peaceful place still be in Sheffield? Keep in touch.

Hazels not leaving the forum, she'll be taking us with her wherever she goes, we already gave her one crown, i think she deserves another one now.

I was aware that Hazel was contemplating making a big decision in her life. The clues were to be seen in Hazel's recent post on the limerick thread, in which she recounted a visit to the hospital with her partner. Also, perhaps in Hazel's recent thread on not wanting to go back and read new posts - possibly because they were too painful to encounter?

Hazel is one of our forum's oldest members. The decision she has taken, to split from her partner of 13 years, has not been taken lightly. That she has endured all these years waiting and hoping for a change to come in his behaviour is to her credit. But what kind of life is it to perpetually live in hope? To see promises repeatedly broken? Sadly, alcoholics oft times fail to see the damage that their addiction is doing to the people who love them most.

I feel certain that Hazel has given her relationship her best shot. Sadly, it has not worked out. Now, she faces an uncertain future. She is remarkably brave. I also wish Hazel every success for the future.

I have no words to express what I feel at this moment so many good wishes from people I have never met.

Many of you have been in a similer situation and come though it to lead a happier life. So there is no reason it should not happen to me the only difference being I'm just a little older.
A more peaceful life is all in the mind and I shall find it in Sheffield staying close to the Forum, how could I leave with so many good friends.

hazel
.

Hazel,its a mind game they play. They are always "Never going to do it again" (They do !) Tell him hes broken your spirit,and you are bowing out this time.(In reality your not retreating,your just advancing in another direction.!)

I haven't said much on the forum Hazel, but you know I am thinking of you, and your happiness is paramount, good luck my friend we are all with you.Love Apple

If you're unhappy, you're definately doing the right thing, i admire your, courage and determination.. you do what you feel in your heart is right ...

Good luck hazel. x x


:)

hazel,I can only add to the other comments.Keep that chin up love. We are always here for you on The Forum.

You face many uncertainties Hazel, and the immediate future is going to difficult for you. Persevere Hazel, and see it through, and you will indeed find peace and happiness. Be assured of that.

There's a whole forum rooting for you! :thumbsup:

You are in our thoughts Hazel.

Best wishes

Red

You already know I am with you in this one. Good luck. Hope to follow you soon

Having done something very similar myself recently, I congratulate you on making and sticking to your decision Hazel. Me and hubby actually have a better relationship now as we're splitting our stuff up than in most of our marriage, as he has now got used to the fact that I won't enter in to any of the emotional blackmail conversations and so no longer tries any of it.

Every one of my friends has reassured me that I've done the right thing, but that doesn't stop the occasional 'if I had tried' doubt creeping in.

In the grand scheme of things you can't be responsible for his uncaring and callous behaviour, and it should not be your punishment in life to live in the state of purgatory that is created by it.

Award yourself a hug from yourself and I wish you what I would wish for any person- the chance to strive for happiness and fulfilment.

It is only 8 days since I told my tale of woe and it seems like eternity.. I am still at home and trying to move events along with a very reluctant partner. He is trying to improve his behaviour, which breaks my heart at times so must get out before I falter.
I am not lacking in support from my forum friends and family it's just the legistics of it all that is dragging. me down..
It's so easy to take the easy option to forget and beliieve that this time it will work, but my common sense and friends tell me it will be exactly the same if I stay.
Thankyou for all the letters of support

hazel

Oh Hazel, I feel for you, I really do.

I hope you can get out very soon - and that will make things easier than they are now.

Sometimes, we become addicted to those who hurt us most, you may have times of regret, but be strong, be confident and most of all - believe in yourself.

Congratulate yourself on your strength to do what you are doing now.

Whenever you are feeling low, or need someone to talk to, the forum is always here 24/7. Come on - with 15k people behind you, you can do whatever you want ....

Take care, and be brave :thumbsup:

Thankyou again for your good wishes and support.
They really do giive me strength to go on. i shall make it through thanks to your help. A special thanks to redrobbo whose practical advice is like a mantra that I keep repeating.
I have had lots of pm's and ---
Sian
I can't find the circumflex accent on my comptuter so don't think I can reply fully to your pm. Thankyou anyway. Not sure Forum pm will accept it without.

hazel

hazel, just go to a PM sian has sent you and hit "send reply". It will get there as I often send her PMs myself.

Done this Andy but says to many letters
hazel

I suppose I could rub sians message out first

Keep that chin up Hazel, glad to hear you're coping - and it will get easier as time goes on.

To do the circumflex thingy hold down the "Alt" key, and quickly type 1 3 1 on the numpad... like this â :)

Originally posted by hazel
Done this Andy but says to many letters
hazel

I suppose I could rub sians message out first

Yes, there is a limit to how long the PM can be, so delete all of Sian's message then send your own back to her.

Steve is showing off, as you can see.

Thanks Suprasteve, I'll give it a try now

hazel :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Andy
Steve is showing off, as you can see.

lol, I had to get Siân to show me how to do it tho. :P

I have now, keep fingers crossed, found somewhere mice to live
and haven't told my partner yet that I have found it.
Today is Christmas day. A time of drink and drunkeness.

He has made it far easier for me to make the break by behaving so badly today. that it will be with great delight I shall
inform him of my departure in a few wks time.
I know now that I am doing the right thing and glad I made the decision .
The house is full of visiters and I cannot shut myself away as I ususally do all rooms being occupied.
He has fallen and brokn the shelf in the bathroom, and I am waiting to go to bed until is firmly asleep---- he is in a drunken stupor and snoring his head off .
He falls and staggers and claims it's his back nothing to do with the alcohol he has consumed so I am typing this as I wait for him to sober up a little and i canget some sleep.

hazel

Hazel, I am so sorry to hear that you are still having to endure the drink related problems caused by your partner, hopefully next year will be better for you.

Keep smiling my friend because there are a lot of people on here who I am sure will agree with me that you deserve better.

owdlad.

Hi Hazel! Congratulations on keeping your resolve.You obviously are not having a good christmas. So I wish you a great new year.
You go girl :thumbsup:

Regards Pete.

Hazel Good Luck lass- hope 2006 turns into a wonderful year for you. Sometimes it is best just to let go- but do it with no looking back because reading your posts I realise how very hard you've tried to make things work. Make 2006 Hazel time. Love Mary.

Originally posted by hazel
I have,
As of last week decided to split wiith my Partner of 13 yrs.
Big big difficult decision ---one that I hope I will not regret.

He does not want this and says he will reform, a statement I do not believe anymore after yrs of thinking it will be OK now,, it never was..
We have travelledl the world with him partying and me picking up the pieces. Some of it was good and he taght me an awful lot. You see he has a brilliant mind, and when I was asked why I stayed with him ( which I frequently was ) I said for his mind.
But his mind and body are most of the time dulled with alcohol and so I feel I am living with a 2 yr old. I'm afraid when he falls on the stairs and when he stumbles around the house, so I am off fora more peaceful existance.

Do you blame me/

hazel

sounds like the poor blokes been driven to drink:|

We can all get stuck in whats called a comfort zone.
These comfort zones can make us terribly unhappy but we can be afraid to leave them because either its all we have known for years or we're afraid to try something new.

You are breaking out of this and i think its absolutely fantastic.
I feel that finally your own emotional needs will be fullfilled.
because of this act.
It may be hard at first but will get easier.


So go for it girl.

tara

Hazel

*sending strength-vibes*

be strong, and "to thine own self be true".

You have to think about your own health and self preservation /protection over and above anything else.

In February, I threw my long-term partner out, after I had put up with as much as I could take.

I have endeavoured, this last 11 months rto rebuild my life, and keep things together.

I have much more self confidence, now. Much, Much more self esteem.

I am "my own woman", I make my own decisions, I run my life, and am responsible for no-one but myself.

Cuting loose the ballast that weighed me down, and moving on, moving up was the best thing I could have done, and I could kick myself, sometimes, for not having done it sooner.

It hasn't been easy. I will admit, there have been times that I didn't feel like I was holding things together very well.

Not in relation to the split itself, and shaking the dust off my feet, I have no regrets about that, but certain other things linked to the split, I do have a bit of heartache over.

Keep that courage, and faith in yourself, Hazel, love.
Don't let anyone undermine it, or you.

All the best for this new start.

P " Been there... Done that.. . Come out the other side!" T

This gives a whole new meaning to "A Happy New Year" my
thoughts and good wishes are with you Hazel, I wish you health wealth and much more happiness, if I can help in any way just call me.Love Apple.

My story is quite like Plaintalker's.

Fell for a guy, after a while he turned into someone I still loved but could no longer live with. I weighed up my options, stay with the guy while he stripped my confidence still further and be unhappy in the long term, or break away from him and have a chance of happiness. I chose to leave him, he was gutted and it broke my heart but it was the best thing I could ever have done.

I am now happily married to the greatest bloke in the whole world, he treats me like a princess, he is just the most lovely man I have ever met. He truly understands me and is so strong. We have 2 gorgeous kids whom he dotes on, and I am truly happy in a way I could never have been with my ex.

Go for it girl, there is something much much better waiting for you round the corner, remember that when its difficult.:thumbsup:

At the end of the day - you need to do whats right for you and bugger the consequences of all around you. You've made the first step out and now must close the door behind you. Well done at the worse possible time of the year when everyone else is putting on their facades of 'happiness'

Gods speed and strength to you.

Hazel:

I think you are a very brave woman. I have an alcoholic in my family. My mother, sister and I have been let down by his broken promises more times than we can count. People who do not have to deal with an alcoholic do not understand what an emotional roller coaster it is.

After years and years of chaotic holidays, sleepless nights, trips to the emergency department, dented and "misplaced" cars, falls, police visits, rehab hospitals, abusive language, tears, arguments and embarrassment, I realized that I had to step away from my brother for my own sanity. I still love him and care about his well-being but, ultimately, he is responsible for his choices. I am now convinced that is the only way to deal with an alcoholic.

Best wishes for a happy, healthy, peaceful new year.

Hazel, you shouldnt have to put up with this ! I thought that youd already split ! Its not easy I know,but please get out, the sooner the better.

Thank you everyone for your good wishes.

Told my partner on Boxing Day that I had found a new home and was leaving. I told him when his sons were there to support both me and him. He seems to have accepted that it is actually happening now.

I am nearly there, already seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and by Febuary should be firmly established in my new home.
I am having difficulty believing it is happening to me and it will all turn out to be a dream with no hopes of escape ,
But I tell myself to take one step at a time and I will get there.

Love to you all, you are so kind

hazel

Originally posted by hazel


I am nearly there, already seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and by Febuary should be firmly established in my new home.
I am having difficulty believing it is happening to me and it will all turn out to be a dream with no hopes of escape ,
But I tell myself to take one step at a time and I will get there.



You are indeed nearly there Hazel. You have achieved a lot in a few months, and a new beginning is now in sight for you. You are taking one step at a time, but - and this is what counts in your favour - you have not changed your mind. Remain resolute, and keep persevering Hazel - not long to go now.

Best wishes, always -

Red xXx

Just want to wish you well Hazel. Can't have been easy telling him you're going, but you're over that hurdle now.

Good luck in 2006!

Hazel,

I endorse 200% what redrobbo (And everyne else who has been so supportive in ther comments to you) said.

Keep the faith:-

don't be swayed, and focus on that goal.

be strong and resolute...

*strength-vibes...*

PT

It has helped me tremendously by coming out into the open wih my problems and making it all public. I have had my resolve strengthened by your support and also ihere was no back -sliding which may have happened during the better days had I not announce to everyone what I was going to do

I would have fellt I was letting you all down as well as myself.
So between us we have arrived at this stage and I am so pleased I stood my ground, especially after Christmas day.
I would have been at my lowest ebb had I given up my plans.

I'm not quite there yet but nearly

hazel

That was just how i felt about the support I got from my friends here on the forum, when I had to make the painful decision to split from my ex.

Their strength, and belief in me, gave me the courage to do what I had to do.

I am a much stronger and happier person, for their support.

and I now have a great new life.

PT

I have today signed the contract for my new home/life. So now only a matter of days before I live there.

My partner has gone to Nottingham to a meeting, staying overnight. Around midnight I had a call from a mutual friend, who went with him to the meeting to say that my partner has been found in the toilets on the floor. He had interrupted the speakers to an embarrassing extent then staggered off to fall down drunk in the toilet. Friend said even he was embarrassed by his behaviour tonight and it was a warning to him to cut down his drinking.
I said, yes --I can feel for you --he has embarrassed me all over the world.

If I had not made my decision I would have been with him, listening to his inappropriate remarks, said in a loud voice things he would never say when sober, listening to his words of "trust me I know what I am doing" when he so obviously doesn't -----until he falls flat on his face.. still denying it is the drink..

It's so sad to see, what will he do,
hazel

Hi Hazel,

I've read this thread, and while I've always had a respect for you, (via our small interactions and comments from mutual friends) my respect has grown a lot as result of seeing what you have had to put up with in recent months; knowing you've had it to put up with for years just makes me sad.

I'm so very glad that after all these years you're making a new life for yourself where I hope and pray you'll be happy.

Please let us know how you get on!

K xx

Good Luck Hazel, please keep us informed how you go.
As I've said before -way back- I admire your guts, it'll not be easy but you've got lots of good thoughts coming from the Forumers. Regards Mary & Marina

I was in the same situation 4 years ago, though it wasnt alcohol my husband was addicted to - its was Cannabis. He promised so many times that he'd stop. He never did. I was trying to raise 3 children virtually on my own, trying to instill into them that drug taking was wrong whilst their dad was smoking his head off - not good. Chances are he'll never change. I got out of my marriage and I've never looked back. Go for it Hazel!! Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Life is too short for regrets. I'm not saying its easy. I left our home with nothing and had to start from scratch. Buts its a hell of a challenge and one I've enjoyed! But I'm truly happy. I dont have to worry what he's up to, what time he'll be home and in what state etc. Bliss!!! :) :thumbsup: :)

Congratulations Hazel- may this be the start of a life of liberation and happiness for you, and may you never have cause to think of him again.

hazel, i've been following this post and it seems ages since you took the first step to the point you are at today.
Well done to you for having the strength to see it through and claiming your life back, and good luck in your new home (if you are planning a house warming you know where the events section is)
You ask 'what will he do' the next difficult step is to stop worrying about what he will do, i know it must be hard to do that but put all your energy into your new life you deserve it.
Best wishes

I have today signed the contract for my new home/life. So now only a matter of days before I live there.

hazelGood luck Hazel....I admire your courage:)

It's so sad to see, what will he do,
hazel

The news that you have signed the contract on your new home is wonderful Hazel. Soon, you will be starting a new chapter of your life, and everyone on the forum is rooting for you!

But, even though you are on the verge of starting life anew, your natural, caring instincts still show. Even though you are about to finally separate, it seems it is so difficult to let go of the man who once meant the world to you. But those days of happiness together ended a long time ago for you, and you made a difficult and painful decision to separate. It was the right decision Hazel. Now you must persevere in looking after yourself, and that means finally letting go. K. is no longer your responsiblity, and no longer your worry. He has family, and they will keep an eye on him. What he will do, and what will happen to him is not your concern anymore. You gave this relationship your best shot, and no more can be asked of you now that it is time to move on. You owe this man nothing more now Hazel, and soon you can fully let go.

Keep everyone posted when you've made the house move. Our very best wishes from the forum go with you Hazel.

Red xXx

Hazel, I wish you all the best for your new life. You deserve it, more than most. :thumbsup:

You have given many of the younguns on here some fantastic advice about Love, Life and the Universe - even whilst you were obviously dealing with very serious issues in your own life. That is one of the things that makes you very special. We're all here for you. Take care.

PC

I read your posts with tears in my eyes, thank you for your support and kindness, I could say from strangers but that's not so as I feel I know you all so well. I move out of here on Friday so will no longer have a computer on hand. I will be in touch as soon as I can, don't worry you have made me strong and I have thoughly enjoyed my time with S Forum.

I will return. ( like phenix fom the ashes )
Love to you all
hazel

I think you have made a wise choice Hazel.... my ex-wife and I divorced after 12yrs of marriage.... neither at the time wanted to let go and neither wanted to be together.... it was strange losing the person you love and it took me a fair while to come to terms. Ours happened simply because we grew apart but an alcoholic partner is a disaster in the making and I think you have done the right thing.... It's going to take some time but time is the greatest healer and you will feel better for it soon. I am behind you.( sod off Kirky :D )

Just think.... at some stage you are gonna feel those Butterflies in your stomach again.... and who knows? Warmest regards. :)

Oh hazel, come back soon babe - (((hugs))) x

I read your posts with tears in my eyes, thank you for your support and kindness, I could say from strangers but that's not so as I feel I know you all so well. I move out of here on Friday so will no longer have a computer on hand. I will be in touch as soon as I can, don't worry you have made me strong and I have thoughly enjoyed my time with S Forum.

I will return. ( like phenix fom the ashes )
Love to you all
hazel

Hazel, you have my phone number so feel free to ring me whenever you need a friend to chat with, and if there is any help I can give you just ask.

My thoughts are with you.

PS when's the house warming cos Kirky, DonK, Vike and yours truly are up for a good knees up :P

Hazel, I've just read this thread all the way through, and have to say I admire your strength and resolve over the last few months.

I wish you good luck and much happiness for the future in your new home, and please sort yourself out with a computer, so you can get back online and let us all know how you're getting on.

Take care.

Ann :wave:

When I signed the contract i signed to say no noisy partyng.

Do you think you could party quietly???

Don't want to get thrown out in the first few wks, so now i am shedding my burden perhaps I can turn up at the dev

hazel

Going to borrow a laptop if i can work the thing so will not be away long
Thanks again everyone i can't tell you how much your messages mean to me

Alcohol is a serious drug.... the trouble is its seen as exceptable to be plastered in this country but then frowned upon if you have a drink problem.

Seriously messed up.

Hazel - we need you back as soon as you can - you're one of our stars. :cool:

See you soon. :thumbsup:

Best wishes with the house move Hazel :thumbsup:

Looking forward to an update once you are pc connected!

Red

hi everyone

I made it, I'm sitting in my one chair in my own home using myson;s laptop.
It;s been a long rd and quite a painful one .
I feelI have been very lucky I think someone up there is at last on my side and lady luck has smiled on me.
I'll be back soon as ssoon as I get a computer.
Thanks to diamand who made the move go very smoothly, not forgetting his brother-in-law whose name I did not catch
Love
hazel
and a big thankyou to all who supported me

Well done my friend, I am still sending stuff to you, glad to hear all went went well, don't be long in replying it's just not the same without you,take care love Apple.

Well done! :thumbsup: Welcome to your new home Hazel! :wave: :bigsmile:

good luck Hazel. It was a brave thing to do.

**hugs**

wow good on ya:thumbsup:

Wow,what a relief you finally made it !Freedom at last .:thumbsup:

oh, hazel, so glad to hear from you, and that you are doing okay.
((huggsss))

all the best for the future, and be strong, and be happy.

Yesterday was my one-years freedom-versary from my ex, and I'll tell you what, this year has simply flown by, and I never thought I'd be as happy and as content in certain aspects of my life as I am a the moment. I am sorting my debts out, and getting on with the task of turning my life round.

PT

Hope you have loads of good luck and happiness in your new home Hazel.:)

Phew, everythings back to normal at SF, I hope you get everything as you want it equally quickly Hazel :)

I am struggling with a very very slow tempremental comp, which is very reluctant to work will be back n line soon.
Thankyou all of you for thinking of me
hazel

Hi everyone.

I'm using the local library computer. Already been 3 times and computers were down ?
Hoping to have a computer installed by the end of the week.
I am very happy in my new home, have a lovely view from the window and am very content.
Thanks for the help you gave me, I'm sure thats what made me strong.

hazel

hi hazel, i've been in a similar situation myself, and it was really hard to hurt someone who claimed to love me so much that he would kill himself if i left, i had to make the decision and do it for myself as i was so unhappy... it has been around a year since i told him it was over, and 4 months since we stopped living together, and i just have to say that life is so good!
(he turned around and started new relationships within a month of us splitting up, which just proves what a liar he was, he is now engaged to be married, and caring for a woman who has two children, which makes me want to be sick, as part of the reason that i stopped loving him was that he didn't give a d*mn about our child and had no time for her at all... but all that is an aside really...)
i just wanted to say that it does get better, and you just have to look after yourself, and life is really so much better alone!
please feel free to pm me if you need any help with anything, i might not be that helpful, but i'll try! xx

Thanks elora
Sorry to hear you have gone through so much and happy you have safely come through it all.
I have been in my new place for aboout 3 wks now and I feel already it is home. Also it has done my partner good as he now is drinking less and having to sort his life out instead of relying on me. He's intelligent enough to know he cannot deal with his life when he is drunk so now it's all up to him.
Which makes me think I did him no favours, picking up the pieces on an almost daily basis.
We have lived for years with him partying all the time knowing I would be there to see he was OK. So really I suppose I was not good for him.!!
H never knew the harm he did when drunk relatioonshipwise as like most people when drunk he thought he and everyone else was having a good time refusing to listen when told how it actually was.
The best of luck to you elora,
hazel

Hazel - are you still at the library or have you got yourself all installed at home?

Hope all going well.

P.S. Whenever I see the title of this thread I think you have popped your clogs.

hi Hazel, i'm sorry about my last posting, i kind of 'splurged' lots of stuff out in the emotion of the moment, so i'm sorry if it seemed like i'd taken over your thread there!
i know what you mean about feeling that you were no good for him in the way that you were picking up the pieces for him, but it's really difficult to see the truth of a situation when you are deeply involved in it, and when you care deeply for someone it's hard to do what is best for them, when you know they will be hurt by the process...
i'm glad to hear that you are settling into your new home, and you really have done the best thing for both of you by the sounds of things...
i find that every day i feel a little stronger and i hope the same is true for you
thanks for your good wishes!! best of luck to you too x

Hi samc
II have a beaaaauuuutiful new computer but no broadband until next wk. i went to the library today but once again the computers were down.!!
This must be 3 times in a week. So i am backto the tempremental laptop which is so slow that I can be read ing a book while I cnange threads .
The library computer is quick and free so I shouldn.t grumble.
Iit's odd but other forummers thought the same about my title, the mods would have shot it down n flames. It would certainly have been a first on the forum tho.
hazel

I'm back:banana: I'm back:banana: and just found the bananaman too
hazel

Hey Hazel how is it all going? I hope all is well :)

Hey Hazel how is it all going? I hope all is well :)

Oh you've missed what Hazel has been up to Suprasteve! Check out this link.......

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=85767&page=7&highlight=mah+jong

Hazel scored an unheard of...... double zero points! :wow: Sadly, we haven't seen Hazel at a mah jong meet again, though I can't for the life of me think why? :rolleyes:

Hi Stevee ,
Thanks for asking about me.
Everything is good, my new accommodation is very nice, I love living on my own, so from the angle of the move life could not be better.
I've had lots of visiters just lately which has kept me busy and after they had gone I hit a low patch but am now on the mend and back on the forum,

hazel

:clap: Hey up Hazel lass!

Good to see you back on board, glad things are settled for you matey!

xx

Hi Stevee ,
Thanks for asking about me.
Everything is good, my new accommodation is very nice, I love living on my own, so from the angle of the move life could not be better.
I've had lots of visiters just lately which has kept me busy and after they had gone I hit a low patch but am now on the mend and back on the forum,

hazel

Hi Hazel,

Welcome back! Glad to see you back on here!

Joe :)

Hooray! My favourite forum member is posting again.

Visitors are lovely Hazel..... but isn't it grand when you've got some peace and quiet to yourself?

Fancy coming down to the DevCat for a mah jong meet again? We still meet weekly, and we've got the Lord Mayor coming with all he regalia next week. Mind you, she's a newbie, so she's bound to win! :hihi:

It would be lovely to see you sometime anyway.

Best wishes

Red xXx

Hi again Hazel....keep that memories of the past going !:)

Hi Stevee ,
Thanks for asking about me.
Everything is good, my new accommodation is very nice, I love living on my own, so from the angle of the move life could not be better.
I've had lots of visiters just lately which has kept me busy and after they had gone I hit a low patch but am now on the mend and back on the forum,

hazel
Yey, glad you're on the up and up, even with a little blip it sounds like good news overall? :)

glad to hear you are on an upturn, and so glad things are working out for you in the right way.

PT

Hazel.

You've been immensely brave, and you can be proud of the fact that the final break-up did not involve dishonesty or betrayal.

This is my advice which you are fully entitled to dismiss out of hand.

Fill your life up. Do new things, meet new people, go to new places, experience new things.

When you are able to, book a cheap flight to a European capital you've never been to. Get off the plane, dump your bag at the hotel, wash your face and stride out into the sunshine to find a cafe where you can people watch or a garden you can wander in or a museum where you can expand your mind (peacefully!).

Good luck, be kind to yourself.

http://www.easyjet.com/

http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/

http://www.thomsonfly.com/en/index.html

I lived with a similar situation for years, and could see myself poor, in my old age, and looking after him .. doing nothing, going nowhere.

I don't think people (usually women) were put on this earth to look after someone else, or live their lives around them. I have never regretted leaving. I have dignity, independence and peace of mind. Good luck with your new life.

Thanks to all my friends old and new, hearing from you has lifted my spirits tremendously. I thought I would be forgotten amomgst the many new forumers we now have.

I have had an offer from Rubydazzler of a lift to the woodseats venue so am hoping to see some of you there later on in the month.

redrobbo It was really my unique score at Mah Jong, I knew I could never surpass the moment of glory, so how can I play again. ? Those amongst us that the Gods have touched etc No not Mods Gods.

hazel