Is anyone else like me who doesn't want to read again an item I have written that was perfectly acceptable to me when I wrote it. I seem very reluctant to approach the Thread.
Must be some deep down psycological reason.

hazel

Fear of rejection?

Probabley, good guess..

hazel

I think we all have that sometimes.....

There are some threads I've posted to and I don't like to check the follow ups in case I'm, going to find myself in a row... :)

When I have a book or article published, I DREAD reading it again because almost invariably I find a mistake or a typo!

Joe

I'm haviing trouble with readig the replies

hazel

Don't worry Hazel, I get that all the time (usually the day after I've been up all night quaffing a bottle of wine and posting away merrily):D

And I get this too because people shoot other people down too often and sometimes it all gets a bit nasty.

Don't think so sugar because I have been lucky and have had not been shot down ----yet. (prob because of my great age ) and Deavon I can understand that but I don't drink.
So must be some deep seated phobia.

hazel

Hi Hazel,

I think it's a form of electronic shyness. It takes a lot to post up where potentially thousands of people can see what you've posted. I've been using bulletin boards and similar things for about 20 years and I still have a quick bit of panic when I see a posting appearing on the end of a thread that I've contibuted to.

Joe

It's not that i dont want to read what i've put before but i often wish i'd worded it in a different way or manner.
When you first get involved in a thread it's very easy to reply or add to the debate 'off the cuff'. When you do this it's easy to comment without giving too much thought into what you are saying.
I have once or twice put things and wished i'd thought it out a little more. But remember this is what life is all about. :D

Thanks for your replies, I can take a little advice from each, I don't think it will stop it but perhaps I will have a better understanding oof why

hazel

Hazel, I love to read what Ive written on the Forum.Im very big headed of course and think that Im a much better writer than I really am. Its not until I go on the Computer part and ask questions from the Buffs there,that I realise how dopey I am.I love to read all the chit chat between the men,when they are having a go at each other. Two of them were talking about two male writers last week,comparing their works.I had never heard of either of the writers,but realised how clever the members were.

I've written letters or emails to people when I was in a certain mood (I usually go a bit mad late at night) and when I think about it later I've said something embarrassing. And when I was a kid I used to write stories but I could never show them to anybody. I think lots of people have a fear of committing their thoughts or feelings to writing.

It doesn't bother me as much on forums as it feels like there's more annonimity, even though loads of people here know each other.

Hello Hazel, I'm so glad you brought up this subject. In the short time I've been on the Forum I feel that a couple of times I have been too "glib" for want of a better word in replying before I've really thought it out. So may I say sorry to anyone I've been less than thoughtful to?

Hazel, try a few threads that will bait people into frenzy!
This has a 3 fold benefit, it gets people to criticise your post (which was your intention) thus mellowing the blow AND giving YOU a larff.
It also gets all the lonely stay at home bile throwing no marks a platform to spew their repetitive bilge.:hihi:
Everyone goes to bed happy! :heyhey:

Heres a few tips to get going:
Start a thread that was done 2 days ago =100% success:thumbsup:
Start a thread with spelling & grammar errors = 100% success:thumbsup:
Start a sexist thread in favour of blokes = 110% success:thumbsup:
Start a thread on imigration = 200% success :thumbsup:

Go on, YOU can do it mate :D

DK

Excellent, Don. Psychology to a T.

What an excellent thought provoking thread Hazel. When I first started posting I worried about how they would be received/interpreted etc. But that's the liberating thing about anonimity, no one knows who you are unless you choose to tell them so it shouldn't really matter.

Don' think it is really fear of rejection more fear of non acceptance ? Does what you feel stop you posting as often as you might like to ?

Hi Pete_jim
No-- for some reaon nothing stops me posting when I want to, a sort of publish and be damned attitude,
It's afterwards, when there has been a time gap, that instead of looking first I look last and sometimes do not look at all if I see someone has answered. I leave it until I feel stronger the bext day. Odd isn't it ? I never think about the annominity, you know me pete_jim I would prob say the same things in reality.

And Don you are prob right because I've seen you do it and then you sit back and enjoy it.

You are right I take things far to seriously at the moment. I must lighten up.

hazel

Originally posted by hazel

And Don you are prob right because I've seen you do it and then you sit back and enjoy it.



hazel

:rolleyes: I don't know what you mean Hazel... I was only offering advice ;) :P :hihi:

I sometimes dread to see exactly what I posted (especialy when I've had a drink:D ). I don't really think before I post. I think afterwards. I just post what I feel like saying in that instant.

some people may have noticed;)

The only time I don't want to re-visit a thread is when I see a particular member as the last poster - and can already guess what I'm about to read :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Hazel, try a few threads that will bait people into frenzy!
This has a 3 fold benefit, it gets people to criticise your post (which was your intention) thus mellowing the blow AND giving YOU a larff.
It also gets all the lonely stay at home bile throwing no marks a platform to spew their repetitive bilge.:hihi:
Everyone goes to bed happy! :heyhey:

Heres a few tips to get going:
Start a thread that was done 2 days ago =100% success:thumbsup:
Start a thread with spelling & grammar errors = 100% success:thumbsup:
Start a sexist thread in favour of blokes = 110% success:thumbsup:
Start a thread on imigration = 200% success :thumbsup:

Go on, YOU can do it mate :D What do you mean like "Are men more intelligent than women ?"

DK

Originally posted by pattricia
Sorry did it wrong,Don,I mean "Are men more intelligent than women ?"

Originally posted by pattricia
Sorry did it wrong,Don,I mean "Are men more intelligent than women ?"
Obviously! :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :thumbsup:

Hazel, what a great question ... I really did think I was the only person that felt that way.

I think it's because when you post honestly about something you feel deeply about and get negative replies .. it's almost like a rejection ... that this random unknown person who doesn't know you or anything about you doesn't find you or your opinion acceptable. ... Catherine Tate's schoolgirl might say "am I bovvered though?" And the answer is "Yes I am!"

As Strix posted, your heart sinks sometimes when you see a certain member's name in the list ... steeling yourself for the harsh comment you might see there :( There are PMs in my inbox that I haven't opened after weeks cos I know I wont like what I see ... I can be a real wimp sometimes and I hate myself for it!

I've been on here for about 2 months and for the first few days I was probably feeling like a little fish swimming in a rather large ocean. But once I started joining in, I didn't think at all about my posting and just enjoyed it.

The sad thing is that already I am falling out of love with it. The last few weeks somehow feel a little different, I can't quite put my finger on why. But now, for the last 3 weeks or so, I too feel a little like this and sometimes dread the reply.

Originally posted by rubydazzler


I think it's because when you post honestly about something you feel deeply about and get negative replies .. it's almost like a rejection ... that this random unknown person who doesn't know you or anything about you doesn't find you or your opinion acceptable. ... Catherine Tate's schoolgirl might say "am I bovvered though?" And the answer is "Yes I am!"

and I hate myself for it!

So why do you do it to others :huh: eh? :huh: eh? :huh: eh?

:heyhey: :hihi: :D :P

I think as you say Ruby it's because I post honestly and sometimes reveal (to the world) a lot about myself and my life.
The idea that no-one knows me never occurs to me.

And then feel I should not have said that but I'm a great believer in what you give out comes back so should be able to take any stick that comes my way. also the kindnesses too.
I have had no aggro from the forum everybody has been more than kind to it's almost eldest member.

So it must be buried deeply in my past. Prob small child that no-one wanted to play with :mad:

hazel

Hi Hazel, I also have the same problem as you,I say too much, and I'm too truthful, but if I answer someone, I think for ages if I've hurt them in any way, or why would they want my opinion anyway,sometimes I've written a reply then don't send it because I think there are people who can put their viewpoint better than me.

Originally posted by rubydazzler
As Strix posted, your heart sinks sometimes when you see a certain member's name in the list ... steeling yourself for the harsh comment you might see there :( There are PMs in my inbox that I haven't opened after weeks cos I know I wont like what I see ... I can be a real wimp sometimes and I hate myself for it!
I had a couple of those ;) I just PMed the sender 'thank you for taking the time blah, blah.... but I don't wish to read.... as I believe I already know the contents, so I have deleted.... unread' :thumbsup:

Saves the bother of getting wound up, and makes people think twice about wasting their fingers in trying to wind you up ;)

I just ticked the box next to the title, and hit 'delete' at the bottom of the list :D