Have any of you out there had any problems with Sheffield Social services?

I have a 15 year old daughter, refuses to go to school and is constantly arranging to meet goons she chats to on MSN.
She steals, she lies and I've lost count on how many blokes names she's mentioned.
Latest bloke, a lad called Carl, who is 30! lives up chapletown and is and has a drink problem.....this wont be his only problem if I catch up with him:heyhey:

Social workers, don't seem interested.....it's like they don't care but guess they'll be straight there when the fine comes through my door, for not going to school.

ARRRRRGH

at 15 id keep her locked in her room till she started behaving!

Easier said than done scott, I'd get done for child cruelty, thats the problem, when I try to do owt about it....advice, chastise etc, It's the parents that are in the wrong.

She needs locking up alright, but she'd prob come out worse.

Originally posted by bigredbox
Have any of you out there had any problems with Sheffield Social services?

I have a 15 year old daughter, refuses to go to school and is constantly arranging to meet goons she chats to on MSN.
She steals, she lies and I've lost count on how many blokes names she's mentioned.
Latest bloke, a lad called Carl, who is 30! lives up chapletown and is and has a drink problem.....this wont be his only problem if I catch up with him:heyhey:

Social workers, don't seem interested.....it's like they don't care but guess they'll be straight there when the fine comes through my door, for not going to school.

ARRRRRGH

Don't let her use the pc to arrange meetings with these blokes!

Have banned her from PC at home, she just goes down to any internet cafe in town.
They supposed to not let them in under 16 but she lies about her age.

I'd go to the interent cafe with a picture of her and tell them that she is under age and would it be possible for her not to use them as she's putting herself at danger I'm sure they would not disagree with you, though I guess they are there to make money.

Tried this one too, she then dyed her hair.

I think you need to get to know your daughter a little more. And BTW i'll mention now that i realise any advice is easier said than done.

You need to look at when this trouble started and any reason that may have caused it. You need to get to know her friends and especially her best friend then you may find a reason.

Look at your own familys relationship with her, are you too soft or do yu preach too much to her. Go and speak with her school teacher and discover what she is like at school. Is she being bullied? Or maybe she is bullying herslf??

Where is she getting money from to get around at 15 years old?

Maybe you need to sit down and listen to her, i know it's embarrsaaing for many teens but dont sit down and preach how unhappy you are but let her talk about what she likes and doesn't like etc.

Good luck :thumbsup:

thanks for that, good advice.

We've been through all this with her too, one mixed up kid....school don't know, cos she's never there.

I think she's looking for a father figure, as dad has disowned her because of her behaviour. The old cliche of divorse involved, that was around 8 years ago. Both supported her, until recently, when he gave up.
What gets me, is that we did go and see child psychologist, but she lied to them too, they decided there was nothing amiss and discharged her.

My question is......why are social services ignoring the issue, she is putting herself at major risk but ignores all advice.

Yes....we've all been there as a teen ourselves, what worries me like hell....is does she have to be a victim or another murder statistic before the authorities who are meant to help take notice?

There will be always some dirty pedo's who take advantage, like what does a thirty something see in a little girl?
As a parent, not soft, not too hard, I've been here for her, supported her, but now fear she is shaping her own destiny towards the worst scenario....it breaks my heart.
Only solution would be to lock her in a room, for her own safety or totally batter her senseless, but then some jobsworth in social services would charge me with alsorts.

Can't win, her best mate, has also expressed concern, but she still goes off and does what she does. There seems to be no safety net in place and social services refuse to take her into care. She gets her money by stealing or sob story to bus drivers in order to get on bus for nowt.
I've had two antique rings, mobile phones go missing, which she admits she sold for a fiver. Swears there's no drugs involved, DONT Believe her.
Even have to take moby's, land line phone, cash and everything of any value and hind it when I go to bed.

Yes, I've tried but it's social services who have failed in my view.

Trust me your flogging a dead horse with S.S. My son has had problems all his life, when Social Services have offerd any amount of help it's been a total waste of my time and the tax payers money. so now I just dont bother asking them. they are too busy persecuting innocent familys and neglecting the ones who really need the help.
My son is a self harmer the last time I rang the G.P and the on call social workers they told me to call the police?!! i mean W.T.F.
N.C.H surestart have been the best help I have recived. This came from a referal from our specialist, but if you speak strongly to your G.P they may do a referal for you. I know when my eldest reaches his teens I will encounter the same problems you are having now. Good luck with it all, and if you need a chat anytime feel free to P.M me

I'vr had dealings with S.S. and a troublesome child and they were useless. Tried ssaying that the mother was at fault for lack of parenting skills and because he was 15 they basically washed their hands of him as when he turned 16 it would go to a different group of social workers. They have in the past lied on a home visit form, ttried to fob me off with a trainee and insinuated that we wanted him taken into care for our benefit.
To say I was hopping mad was an understaement and as it was me who had to chase up the LEA as he hadn't attended school for almost two years I think the entire procedure was a farce.
Managed to get a referral through his GP to have him assessed for attention deficit and two letters were sent to the house one to the lad in question and one to his mum, they were identical basically saying it was a two year waiting list and as the lad didn't know what we'd been investigating I couldn't believe that they sent a letter to him, if he'd of found it he'd probably flown off the handle and started smashing things or worse.
I wish there was a solution but I don't think it's going to be through S.S.

aye they just need a smack:hihi:

tell her you are going to make her a ward of court,explain she is answerable to the court for what she does wrong,it might just pull her up. best of luck

How do you get a ward of court? Some brill folk on here, Thanks for your answers.

I may just go to the looney bin and commit myself, hee hee ha ha....and life is beautiful all the time......oh I'm off now.

If I do this they'll just have to take her into care or do something!:hihi:

Originally posted by bigredbox
How do you get a ward of court? Some brill folk on here, Thanks for your answers.

I may just go to the looney bin and commit myself, hee hee ha ha....and life is beautiful all the time......oh I'm off now.

If I do this they'll just have to take her into care or do something!:hihi:
Do you know I have felt like this a million times myself.. unfortunatly there is no simple answer, stay strong and think strong, or the whole situation will bog you down and take controll of you whole life. I would serouisly think about having strong words with your local G,P maybe a referal to ryegate may help? I have done the whole ryegate thing myself and find they are more help than S.S.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by honeyplanet
[B]Trust me your flogging a dead horse with S.S. My son has had problems all his life, when Social Services have offerd any amount of help it's been a total waste of my time and the tax payers money. so now I just dont bother asking them. they are too busy persecuting innocent familys and neglecting the ones who really need the help.
My son is a self harmer the last time I rang the G.P and the on call social workers they told me to call the police?!! i mean
[?quote]

it's called sectiosn 135 and 136 of the mental health act - it's the most straightforward way of getting someone sectioned unless you are a GP and /or a Section 12 Doc yourself - ASWs can't section although they are involved in sectioning, ditto for Nurses unless the patient is already a volunary patient in a Psych unit

Originally posted by zippy
[QUOTE]Originally posted by honeyplanet
[B]Trust me your flogging a dead horse with S.S. My son has had problems all his life, when Social Services have offerd any amount of help it's been a total waste of my time and the tax payers money. so now I just dont bother asking them. they are too busy persecuting innocent familys and neglecting the ones who really need the help.
My son is a self harmer the last time I rang the G.P and the on call social workers they told me to call the police?!! i mean
[?quote]

it's called sectiosn 135 and 136 of the mental health act - it's the most straightforward way of getting someone sectioned unless you are a GP and /or a Section 12 Doc yourself - ASWs can't section although they are involved in sectioning, ditto for Nurses unless the patient is already a volunary patient in a Psych unit
does that count for a minor then? my son was only ten at the time..

Can I ask you why you are blaming others, Social Services, for your inability to control and discipline YOUR child.

Stop bashing social services. The state provides each child with an education and if the child actually attended school, they would find they had access to a tutor, learing support, behaviour support etc. Everything is there. Education is a right, yet it is the parent's and child's reponsibility to ensure they they utilise it.

How do you get a ward of court? Some brill folk on here, Thanks for your answers.

I may just go to the looney bin and commit myself, hee hee ha ha....and life is beautiful all the time......oh I'm off now.

If I do this they'll just have to take her into care or do something!:hihi:
might be a good idea kids dont think about anyone but themselves :mad:

Can I ask you why you are blaming others, Social Services, for your inability to control and discipline YOUR child.
I dont think she is blaming anyone - and i dont think asking for help is wrong either. in fact,i applaud her honesty

I sometimes wonder whether young girls revel in attention from older blokes because it makes them feel 'grown up', when they are still being treated like a child at home.

Of course, this is a chicken and egg situation, as it is very difficult to give a teenager any responsibility or respect when they are being so silly and childish :roll:

I wonder how bigredbox actually got on with her problem, given how old this thread is?

I dont think she is blaming anyone - and i dont think asking for help is wrong either. in fact,i applaud her honesty
Sick to death of people laying blame on others for not being able to sort personal problems out. Its this blaming culture Gnomi thats fundamentally wrong with our society today.
Ask for help surely but we should'nt rely on others and then knock them for not responding how we see they should.

Reading through this post I see that your daughter may have issues...It maybe from her dad leaving - I was in a sitution like your daughter growing up with the dad leaving and I know it shouldnt be deemed as an excuse but it certainly does leave a mark.

The only advice I can give you is this. Make sure that your daughter realises that if her behaviour doesnt start to get better and that she listens to what you are saying then later on in life when she gets to the age of 17 then she will have no mother to turn too...because from my own experience there is only so much my mum took before she told me to move out and fend for myself.

I lived with my dad for abit, then went to uni.....your daughter will realise after a certain point that she will need her mum.

When I realised how bad I had been fortunantly it wasnt too late. I sent her a mothers day card and told her I was so sorry. We are best friends again now.

Does you daughter tell you why she is like she is? do you actually have time with your daughter where it is just you and her? maybe she feels that since her dad left you prob blame her for him leaving and that is why she is acting the way she is?

I think that maybe you need to get you daughter to speak to someone out side the family structure....I know for a fact I couldnt open upto my mum and the wierd thing about it is I should have been able to as she is my mum.

I hope that you daughter realises how much she needs her mum.

I just want to say how much I feel for you and your daughter. I can't imagine what it can be like because I've never had it fortunately. Two daughters and a son and many ups and downs but thankfully we got over them. The only thing I can say is love them no matter what.
I hope you get to have happier times. It WILL right itself eventually.

<deleted>. as contained fundamentally the same content as a previous reply i'd made

S136 MHA requires the person to be in a public place and at risk of significant harm. S135 I beleive requires a doctor's authority to remove. But then they only go to hospital who get rid ASAP and the cycle begins again.

S136 MHA requires the person to be in a public place and at risk of significant harm. S135 I beleive requires a doctor's authority to remove. But then they only go to hospital who get rid ASAP and the cycle begins again.

S136 does not require 'significant harm' only that someone needs assessment, also it is in the opinion of the police officer who can use the their relative lack of knowledge as mitigation.

" Mentally disordered persons found in public places

136.- (1) If a constable finds in a place to which the public have access a person who appears to him to be suffering from mental disorder and to be in immediate need of care or control, the constable may, if he thinks it necessary to do so in the interests of that person or for the protection of other persons, remove that person to a place of safety within the meaning of section 135 above.

(2) A person removed to a place of safety under this section may be detained there for a period not exceeding 72 hours for the purpose of enabling him to be examined by a registered medical practitioner and to be interviewed by an approved social worker and of making any necessary arrangements for his treatment or care."

s 135

135 - (1) If it appears to a justice of the peace, on information on oath laid by an approved social worker, that there is reason*able cause to suspect that a person believed to be suffering from mental disorder-

(a) has been, or is being, ill-treated, neglected or kept other*wise than under proper control, in any place within the jurisdiction of the justice, or

(b) being unable to care for himself, is living alone in any such place,

the justice may issue a warrant authorising any constable....1 to enter, if need be by force, any premises specified in the warrant in which that person is believed to be, and, if thought fit, to remove him to a place of safety with a view to the making of an application in respect of him under Part II of this Act, or of other arrangements for his treatment or care.

(2) If it appears to a justice of the peace, on information on oath laid by any constable or other person who is authorised by or under this Act or under section 83 of the [Mental Health (Scotland) Act 1984] to take a patient to any place, or to take into custody or to retake a patient who is liable under this Act or under the said section 83 to be so taken or retaken-

(a) that there is reasonable cause to believe that the patient is to be found on premises within the jurisdiction of the justice; and

(b) that admission to the premises has been refused or that a refusal of such admission is apprehended,

the justice may issue a warrant authorising any constable ... 1 to enter the premises, if need be by force, and remove the patient.

(3) A patient who is removed to a place of safety in the execution of a warrant issued under this section may be detained there for a period not exceeding 72 hours.

(4) In the execution of a warrant issued under subsection (1) above, [a constable]2 shall be accompanied by an approved social worker and by a registered medical practitioner, and in the execution of a warrant issued under subsection (2) above [a constable12 may be accompanied-

(a) by a registered medical practitioner;

(b) by any person authorised by or under this Act or under section 83 of the [Mental Health (Scotland) Act 1984] to take or retake the patient.

(5) It shall not be necessary in any information or warrant under subsection (1) above to name the patient concerned.

(6) In this section "place of safety" means residential accom*modation provided by a local social services authority under Part III of the National Assistance Act 1948 ...3 a hospital as defined by this Act, a police station, a mental nursing home or residential home for mentally disordered persons or any other suitable place the occupier of which is willing temporarily to receive the patient.


in terms of hospital getting rid - if someone is S136 detained they have to have a full assessment - also just becasue someone is S136 it doesn't mean they are going to end up on a 2 or a 3 or even as a vol patient with the threat of a 5(4).

well after glancing through this thread i have to say there has been some intresting, some helpfull and some non helpfull replys

right your daughter sounds very much like i was at her age and im not saying its exactely the same just to show you ill tell you a little about me i left home at 15 due to family problems im now old enough to realize why i was like i was it was simple really my sister and a brother had started taking heroine and a whole load of other probs come with that i was bieng seriously bullied at school but my parents were so invovled with my sister and brother ect ect i was also tld at a very early age that the woman who i thought was my mother was infact my aunty and that my biological mother had abondended me at the time it didnt really affct me much as i was too young to realize what it meant tbh when i got to arougn 12/13 i realized and it was very upsetting to me so much so that when i tried to talk to them about it or anything that was going on in my head they just didnt have time so i kept quiet and the probs just got worse in the end i ended up being very quiet and withdrawn which they just said i was mardy so in the end i just left and went to live with my big sister on the manor for two years where well ill be totally honest i must have been a nightmare to live with i was smoking cannabis like it was going out of fashion and taking ampthetamine like it was tic tacs which was easy to get cos my sister used to sell all kinds of stuff on the side! and as for boys woo hoo i went wild!!!! i stayed out all night without telling any1 where i was going never mind who i was with i then started stealing bits and bobs to pay for my cannabis and stuff. tbh nothing anyone could have said at the time would have made me stop and think that what i was doing was very wrong in many ways.

when i got really ill and put in hospital i decided it was time to go home

maybe your daughters just not ready to talk to you about her problems i remember that age so well and i can sympothize fully with her and with you also as im a parent myself now and i sometimes imagine my son doing what i did and it horrifies me tbh

my heart goes out to you with this problem i hope you get it al sorted out and you and your daughter can get past this problem good luck and all the best

katyxxxxxx

A little late now but dicipline needs to be given from the start.
Can I ask how old you are?
In your shoes I would start a fresh, speak with her about your concerns & tell her what the rules are. E.G. "I love you but am worried"
Given her back all her priviliges & explain if she does anything that causes you concern they will be taken away.
We all know what our children most cherish PC, TV spending money.
Each time she does something wrong take things away, she can't go to the internet cafe without money (can she), take the PC to someone elses house & TV etc where necessary.
At the same time she needs loads of praise for the good things no matter how small, E.G she came home before 10 as requested, tell her well done order a take away as a treat.
Do things together, go to town shopping for make up or clothes together.
Ask her advice on your hair or fashion or music, be her best friend.
I am talking from experience & believe me it may sound childish but it works.

This Aint True Disscusion Closed.

Have any of you out there had any problems with Sheffield Social services?

I have a 15 year old daughter, refuses to go to school and is constantly arranging to meet goons she chats to on MSN.
She steals, she lies and I've lost count on how many blokes names she's mentioned.
Latest bloke, a lad called Carl, who is 30! lives up chapletown and is and has a drink problem.....this wont be his only problem if I catch up with him:heyhey:

Social workers, don't seem interested.....it's like they don't care but guess they'll be straight there when the fine comes through my door, for not going to school.

ARRRRRGH

Keep her in so she doesn't get in with the wrong crowd! Talk with her, counsel her and always praise her like mad when she does something right!

Have any of you out there had any problems with Sheffield Social services?

I have a 15 year old daughter, refuses to go to school and is constantly arranging to meet goons she chats to on MSN.
She steals, she lies and I've lost count on how many blokes names she's mentioned.
Latest bloke, a lad called Carl, who is 30! lives up chapletown and is and has a drink problem.....this wont be his only problem if I catch up with him:heyhey:

Social workers, don't seem interested.....it's like they don't care but guess they'll be straight there when the fine comes through my door, for not going to school.

ARRRRRGH

I really hope that social services can help you but obviously you need to take rerponsibilty and try to make sure she stays on the straight and narrow.

I Am The Daughter Lol .