I cant go into too much detail because its so personal.

Basically im getting married in just under four months, my big day but theres going to be a big gaping hole that im hoping the rest of my friends and family fill so i dont get upset on the day.

I have got 3 brother and 2 sisters all ..only two of them are going to be there. I would give anything for my others to be there and i know the chances of that ever happening are zilch but its leaving this gut wrenching hole in my heart...i keep looking at little tuxedos and bridesmaid dresses and wishing that i was buying one for them.

Also my dad isnt going to be there, as i said i wont be saying anything too personal as it is all very private but i basically dont exist to him...he doesnt seem to like where i've come in life, even though i have a home and a fiance and a daughter and everything i dreamed of....and i know even though he will get an invite there is no way he will come...he has his little circle of friends and family and i feel that thats all he wants and needs.
but i cant help but feel sad that he wont be there to see my get married.

I know this is all very ... erm... bizarre for me to be saying on here but i dont know what to make of it or what to do...its been playing on my mind since the start of the planning....and theres nothing going to stop the wedding now i just KNOW im going to be looking around hoping to see my brothers and sisters or my dad or both...

Should i just forget about them for that day?

I cant go into too much detail because its so personal.

Basically im getting married in just under four months, my big day but theres going to be a big gaping hole that im hoping the rest of my friends and family fill so i dont get upset on the day.

I have got 3 brother and 2 sisters all ..only two of them are going to be there. I would give anything for my others to be there and i know the chances of that ever happening are zilch but its leaving this gut wrenching hole in my heart...i keep looking at little tuxedos and bridesmaid dresses and wishing that i was buying one for them.

Also my dad isnt going to be there, as i said i wont be saying anything too personal as it is all very private but i basically dont exist to him...he doesnt seem to like where i've come in life, even though i have a home and a fiance and a daughter and everything i dreamed of....and i know even though he will get an invite there is no way he will come...he has his little circle of friends and family and i feel that thats all he wants and needs.
but i cant help but feel sad that he wont be there to see my get married.

I know this is all very ... erm... bizarre for me to be saying on here but i dont know what to make of it or what to do...its been playing on my mind since the start of the planning....and theres nothing going to stop the wedding now i just KNOW im going to be looking around hoping to see my brothers and sisters or my dad or both...

Should i just forget about them for that day?if they thought anything of you they'd be there. ignore them get on with your life, if they turn up so be it but dont let it spoil your big day, enjoy the company of those who are there for you. hope it all goes well for you:)

My brothers and sisters would probably be there if given the chance, one of thems 9 now and the last i saw her she was 3 and my other brother and sister are 1 and 2 so they cant really make their decisions :(

My brothers and sisters would probably be there if given the chance, one of thems 9 now and the last i saw her she was 3 and my other brother and sister are 1 and 2 so they cant really make their decisions :(i know what your sayin, it would be nice if they could be there & all that but lifes too short & planning a wedding can be very stressful so try & concentrate on those you know who will be attending & giving you all the attention on your big day

yeah your right, its supposed to be the happiest day of my life

yeah your right, its supposed to be the happiest day of my lifeexactly, so dont waste your time on those who can/would cause any problems. your priority is to get your family & freinds there who are with you through thick & thin. anyone else i wouldnt bother with, i mean you can send them an invite with a lttle note to reply by a certain date, if they havnt replied by that date then scrub them off your invite list, then you cant say you didnt try. :)

yeah your right, its supposed to be the happiest day of my life

Screw the buggers duck, you look after yourself - it's their loss. When all is said and done you are on your own in this life.

Never trust anyone, not even your own father.

I really hope that your Dad and kids can make your wedding, he has a lovely Daughter who is so kind hearted, thoughtful and well meaning. a Daughter with moral values who wants to stand up and be counted for them too.
Any Father should be proud to have such a Daughter...if he doesn't go to your wedding then it is more his loss and he doesn't deserve you anyway.

I really hope that your Dad and kids can make your wedding, he has a lovely Daughter who is so kind hearted, thoughtful and well meaning. a Daughter with moral values who wants to stand up and be counted for them too.
Any Father should be proud to have such a Daughter...if he doesn't go to your wedding then it is more his loss and he doesn't deserve you anyway.

i agree,you sound very nice.parents and family sometimes put you in terrible dillemas,my advice chin up girl and enjoy your day,its about you and your hubby to be.dont let it ruin your day.at least u invited them if they decide not t come its their lookout.good luck anyway.:)

Thank you all for your replies I guess its just tough as always imagined my dad to be the one giving me away...

Whatever anyone says about your wedding day being the happiest of your life is pretty much tosh.

Wedding days, even really lovely ones, are stressful, tiring, scary, pressured events. Think less about the wedding day and more about the marriage ;)

Your dad can choose to be there to see you on your day or he can choose not to be- you cannot make him do either. If he doesn't want to be there then trying to force him would be a really silly thing to do, guaranteeing an unhappy result for you.

I wouldn't want anyone who didn't want to be at my wedding to be there to be honest.

It is within your power to make this a good day.

Hold your head up high, ask your mum to walk you down the aisle (she'll be thrilled) and decide that your day will be a day of sharing happiness and good things with the people who DO want to be there to share such an important event with you.

My brothers happily agreed to walk me down the isle :D he was really happy about it too and his daughter my daughter and my friends daughter are going to be the flower girls :D

thank you for your comments x

I'm glad to hear that you're turning this around in your head and that you are starting to believe that you have the power to make your day a happy one, with or without members of your family.

When I got married my (now ex-) husband's family all squabbled with each other when it came to deciding who came to the wedding and because of this eventually decided 2 weeks before the day that none of them were coming. As much as this was upsetting, it was also a sign that maybe them being there wouldn't have been such a good thing and possibly it would have resulted in the whole day being uncomfortable and unpleasant, so we decided to just see it as none of them wanting to celebrate with us. As much as that stung, we weren't going to let that ruin the day.

Still, lovely wedding, shame about the marriage ;)