Does anyone else have this point of view and live life like this?

I certainly do.

People get cancer because of smoking, I smoke "but its not gonna happen to me".

People get killed in airplane crashes, but I have no problem flying because "its not gonna happen to me".

People get robbed at night, but I dont mind walking the streets alone after dark because "Its not gonna happen to me".

I dont know wether thats a bad thing or not.

to be honest i wish i could be like you i'm way to nervous to do anything i mean if i went on a plane all the way i'd be thinking it's gonna crash cos i'm on it i guess i don't have the confidence like you but well done to you for having the confidence never lose it!!:)

Originally posted by spyro2000
I dont know wether thats a bad thing or not.

Could be both ...

On the one hand, you could call it positive thinking, focussing on a positive outcome and having a belief that everything will be fine.

On the other ...

I think it's good to be mindfull of possible 'negative outcomes' and cover your bases and be prepared for s**t happening.

Memorise the phrase "This can't be happening to me!"

It's a common saying, a lot of people have been known to use it...

You may find that you need it one day! ;)

Quite the opposite - I think 'how can I prevent that from happening to me'

Or 'FFS!! Didn't that girl see/hear the news today' (about the abduction/murder/rape) Why do 16 year old girls think they are immune to life - especially at half past midnight, especially if they're alone, :roll: especially if they're scantilly clad :suspect:

Originally posted by Strix
Quite the opposite - I think 'how can I prevent that from happening to me'

Or 'FFS!! Didn't that girl see/hear the news today' (about the abduction/murder/rape) Why do 16 year old girls think they are immune to life - especially at half past midnight, especially if they're alone, :roll: especially if they're scantilly clad :suspect:

There's an answer to that Strix ... either teach males that predatory sexual behaviour is a bad thing (you know, like they've always drummed into us) .. or only allow them out on the street with a responsible female ...

*out after midnight, scantily clad? What has that to do with anything? You're being led up the wrong garden path there. 80 year old women in their own homes get raped in the middle of the afternoon too, you know.

I think that most of us would probably think that "Its not gonna happen to me" but the sad fact of life is that alot of things do happen to us, "common sense" is what is needed more now days, i dont mean this in a sexist way, but even more common sence for the ladies... (rape etc)
As for the risk caused by smoking, drinking etc, we all know the risk ~ we make our own decisions. And pay for them.

Originally posted by spyro2000

I dont know wether thats a bad thing or not.

I think it can be a good thing. It's not healthy to worry about disasters happening etc., because the risks involved in any one specific activity (like having one more cigarette, or getting on a plane) are so small at any given moment that they are almost negligible.

Having mass media telling us about anything horrible that's happening anywhere in the world gives us a warped view of the world, and teaches us to be afraid, which I think is a bad thing.

Originally posted by spyro2000
I dont know wether thats a bad thing or not.

It's better then walking round like a doom and gloom merchant who avoids everything that might be risky and leads a long and boring life.

Originally posted by rubydazzler
stuff

i think you missed his point..

Originally posted by spyro2000
Does anyone else have this point of view and live life like this?



i think it is definitely advisable to be conscious or even pessimistic about some situations/behaviour..

i don't smoke, but i do some things recreationally that i know could be detrimental to my health, or even lethal.. i am definitely in the "won't happen to me" camp with these..

however, when i'm walking around late at night, i am definitely conscious of the fact that i am at greater risk than during the day.. furthermore, my "spider sense" becomes greater as walk through rougher areas.. this, in my opinion, is only sensible..

you definitely have to be wary of some things in this life, and whilst a care free attitude to everything would seem blissful it could ultimately bite you on the arse..

I think balance is what's called for here. Obviously if we all went around worrying about the thousends of disasters that could befall us every day, we'd never have any fun or get anything done.

But at the same time, doing things that obviously carry high risks like smoking, driving without a seatbelt, ect. can't really be justified, because the chances are that sooner or later it will happen to you.

Balance!

Originally posted by rubydazzler
There's an answer to that Strix ... either teach males that predatory sexual behaviour is a bad thing (you know, like they've always drummed into us) .. or only allow them out on the street with a responsible female ...

*out after midnight, scantily clad? What has that to do with anything? You're being led up the wrong garden path there. 80 year old women in their own homes get raped in the middle of the afternoon too, you know.
You are soooooooo on your own fantasy island there Ruby :loopy:

The only person who can be relied upon to protect your own safety is yourself. You can bury your head in the sand, but if you can't force people to learn to read and write, how on earth do you expect to be able to 'teach' them that 'predatory sexual behavior is a bad thing'?

Ever heard the phrase 'asking for it'?

Originally posted by Strix
Ever heard the phrase 'asking for it'?

This has been covered extensively on other threads so I'm not going to go off on one here (takes deep, calming breath), but I think it's incredibly ignorant to accuse any woman of 'asking for it', regardless of what they're wearing.

Originally posted by JBee
This has been covered extensively on other threads so I'm not going to go off on one here (takes deep, calming breath), but I think it's incredibly ignorant to accuse any woman of 'asking for it', regardless of what they're wearing.

Agreed. The only person wrong is the person that commits the felony. The victim is just that - A Victim.

Originally posted by JBee
This has been covered extensively on other threads so I'm not going to go off on one here (takes deep, calming breath), but I think it's incredibly ignorant to accuse any woman of 'asking for it', regardless of what they're wearing.

i agree with the philosophical arguments, but why else would someone be dressed in a manner akin to that of bedroom activities. who are they trying to impress by showing off their bodies or knickers to anyone glancing that way.

it is an invite to have a look 'cos "i've got no respect for myself".

i am often amused by the people who think the odds of not catching cancer are in their favour, the odds of not being raped are in their favour, but the odds of winning the lottery are in their favour.
you make your choice & unfortunately pay the price.

Originally posted by spyro2000
Agreed. The only person wrong is the person that commits the felony. The victim is just that - A Victim.

I'll second that. :thumbsup:

Now lets go back to the origional topic before this descends into another heated debate about rape victims and we get our wrists slaped by the mods.

Originally posted by willman
i agree with the philosophical arguments, but why else would someone be dressed in a manner akin to that of bedroom activities. who are they trying to impress by showing off their bodies or knickers to anyone glancing that way.

it is an invite to have a look 'cos "i've got no respect for myself".



It may be an invite to "have a look", but as the saying goes, 'you look with your eyes, not with your hands'.

Originally posted by spyro2000
It may be an invite to "have a look", but as the saying goes, 'you look with your eyes, not with your hands'.

Sorry. I know I've just said we should get back on topic, but that was a really good comeback Spyro. And very true.

:roll: what should or shouldn't happen isn't the topic of this thread - what could happen is ;)

You can't fall off a ladder if you're not standing on one.

How many 'victims' suddenly change their perspective once they have encountered their unfortunate incident? How many people wind up saying 'if only I'd.....'?

Well, yes. So why didn't you?


Ignorance is bliss

TRue

although I dont think that life would be worth living if you thought about the risks involved in everything. Absolutely anything you think of can hurt you. From dying from a paper cut to slipping on a chip on the kitchen floor.

As a previous poster said, It may be wise to think about certain risks, but dont go overboard, otherwise you would be better off spending the rest of your life locked up in a room that has walls covered in pillows, but even then, Im sure you can still have a mishap.

There are some very basic rules that we all follow on a daily basis without even thinking about them though:

Looking both ways before crossing the road
Locking the front door as we leave the house
Not responding to e-mail demands from ebay for our credit card details :suspect:

Why is anything I've suggested any different?


And as the mistake has been made above, and I am now presumably branded a potential rapist by some people round here :roll: :

I'm a five foot tall, slightly built Female who frequented rock clubs in some very rique outfits, but always checked an ankle length skirt or mac into the cloakroom - I don't believe in parading the streets 'asking for it' :mad:

I do have 'it's's not going to happen to me' attitude to a certain extent and if I didn't I would probably be a nervous wreck especially with flying! Slightly off topic but I often walk alone through woods and I don't know whether I look nervous or not bit if I pass any men on their own walking dogs etc they always seem to make the effort to speak to me which is a good thing . I think walking alone is the only time I actually think something could happen to me.

Originally posted by Strix
I'm a five foot tall, slightly built female who frequented rock clubs in some very rique outfits

how you doin? :heyhey:

Originally posted by dirtybobby
how you doin? :heyhey:

:hihi: Love the misuse of code there.
I suppose you missed the leather wedding dress thread then? :confused:

Originally posted by spyro2000
It may be an invite to "have a look", but as the saying goes, 'you look with your eyes, not with your hands'.

never suggested otherwise, i don't think.

but just extend the concept of people looking at things they want & cant have, jewelry, cars,,clothes etc. what usually happens, that is reality not quick flippant comebacks.
if it was as simple "you look with your eyes" crime rates would be disappearing.

Originally posted by Strix
:hihi: Love the misuse of code there.
I suppose you missed the leather wedding dress thread then? :confused:

alas it would seem so.. forgive my candor, i just lose it a bit when i hear the words "5ft," and "female".. the addition of "risque" didn't help matters lol..

short girls are purdy :love:

It's still there.

Use the 'search site' button
<-----------------------

Originally posted by Strix
And as the mistake has been made above, and I am now presumably branded a potential rapist by some people round here :roll: :

I'm a five foot tall, slightly built Female who frequented rock clubs in some very rique outfits, but always checked an ankle length skirt or mac into the cloakroom - I don't believe in parading the streets 'asking for it' :mad:

I stand corrected Strix. I totally had you down as some sort of male chauvanist pig! :blush: And I agree with the point you make on covering up. When I was youngster I used to go clubbing in some very revealing outfits, but I had a full-length jacket that I always put on for the walk/taxi ride home.

Still don't agree with your use of the phrase 'asking for it' though. I really don't think you can compare it with smoking. Cigarettes are scientifically proven to cause cancer. Short skirts are not proven to cause rape. Women also get raped in trousers, in their own homes, and at work. And if a woman wants to walk the streets in a tiny outfit, then under the European Convention of Human rights she is using her freedom of expression. She should not have to fear attack.

:D the mistake's been made often JBee ;)

I quite agree, we should be able to wear what we like, but we all know that an outfit can dictate the 'attention' we receive, and I notice you take the same precautions I do :thumbsup:

The same goes for leaving your keys in the car when paying for petrol, or leaving ground floor windows open at night - we all know that's silly, but some people do it - though cars are stolen without keys, and burglaries happen when all the windows are closed ;)

Originally posted by Strix
:D the mistake's been made often JBee ;)

I quite agree, we should be able to wear what we like, but we all know that an outfit can dictate the 'attention' we receive, and I notice you take the same precautions I do :thumbsup:

The same goes for leaving your keys in the car when paying for petrol, or leaving ground floor windows open at night - we all know that's silly, but some people do it - though cars are stolen without keys, and burglaries happen when all the windows are closed ;)

I accept your point. And I think you make a good arguement. But in the case of rape and sexual harrassment I think men just use women's clothing as an excuse. It dissolves them of blame if the woman was 'asking for it'.

When I was 16 I used to go out in some outrageously revealing outfits. And I often got groped by leering men in bars and clubs.

Now I'm 23 and dress much more conservatively. I tend to wear jeans or a long skirt and t-shirt when I go out. But the leering hasn't stopped and I still get my butt pinched.

Men will be men. And thuggish horrible men who have no respect for women will always behave in that way. Blaming the way women dress is just a lame excuse.

It was more the 'out alone' I was originally concerned about.

The number of women who lap up the inappropriate attention doesn't help the cause though :mad:

I always think it's not going to hapen to me.

And it does.

But when it does and after an unbelieving few wks, I gather all the info together to make the best of what has happened.
By this I'm not talking rape, I'm talking the things in general that life throws up.

hazel

I download music illegally via P2P software but I wont get caught like the others. I keep saying that to myself

Originally posted by Zinger549
I download music illegally via P2P software buti wont get caught like the others. i keep saying that to myself

Ooooh thats a good'un.

i think theres more chance of winning the lottery than being done for illegal downloads.

The "it's not going to happen to me" attitude is known in the psychology world as unrealistic optimism. It is apparantly quite common and can even be measured on a scale. People who are more unrealistically optimistic tend to take more risks. Examples I have read include unsafe sex and motorcyle driving and I did a study last year on unrealistic optimism and binge drinking. To be honest, as it does seem to increase people's risk taking behaviour I doubt it's a good thing.

As to why we have this attitude, some have argued we create it to justify taking risks. So when we take risks and feel slightly uncomfotable we just tell ourselves "it won't happen to me". Don't we just work in funny ways???