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I write this as a loving father who is being abused by the law

I have been having trouble getting my point across to a so called mediator at cafcass.

This mediator has been taking my ex wife’s statements as fact and ignoring mine. It got to the stage where he took comments off her friends and family yet did not seek any information of mine.
To this I felt as though the law again was not on my side.

I was angry about this and told the officer he was not being fair and not being a mediator. In fact I told him he was unqualified to assess the needs of children which proved its self when he was requested by myself to give his qualifications,

which was a diploma in child care, which I am lead to believe is not as good as an NVQ level 1.

In fact I am also led to believe it is a week course with a diploma at the end.

And this guy has powers to offer the courts a report of his findings.

Findings into what, his ability to do a course obtains a diploma and then think he knows all about child psychology.

Dangerous game when you let unqualified un educated people control others lives.

But there is a way.
Did you know you can get all your family and friends to write a letter outlining their concerns and issues and the officer has to read them and make comment in the report about them.

Well let’s put it this way I did and he has now listened, because he had too.

Cafcass is supposed to have the wishes of the child at heart, they are supposed to do what is right for the child. Not what their personalities adjudge the situation to be based upon stories from one side of the dispute.

I received a birthday card from my son and on it were 10 kisses.
A parent can make a child send the other parent a card yet there is no way on this earth the child will express his love to the other parent by putting kisses on the card unless he wants to, no way on earth.
Yet what did the caffcass officer say

????????
You tell me!!

Oh and i told him he was an unqualified jerk with a controlling personality and should be fired for being such a prat.

I think I upset him------ask me if I give a toss.

The funny thing is he looked at me with such disgust and stared me out; his face looked as though it could kill.
He stared me out---- Is that not seen as threatening and confrontational behaviour?

Beware you people who are getting involved with cafcass, what lies beneath some mediation officers are far more sinister than what you first see.

I am in the process of getting this person reprimanded and hopefully fired

From: A loving father being destroyed by a system that should be helping me.

Sorry to hear about your problems mate, but it is the same old same old. Fathers have rights but only on paper. When it comes to actual rights - may as well not bother.

There have been numerous threads on this topic and all have been deleted so I imagine this one will follow suit. Enjoy it while you can.

You may be pleased to hear you are not the only father on here who is having problems with an ex due to the considerations of the child not being put above all else. At least I hope you take some comfort in hearing from your child. For some on here even that is not possible - due to fathers rights - LOL - what a joke.

Fathers for Justice is a waste of space, and the laws look set to remain in favour of the mother regardless of anything else.

Good luck in your mediation. Hope you get the outcome you desire and whatever you deserve.

Dragon

I agree wholehartedly.... CAFFCASS are a incompenant bunch of jumped up hitlers playing god with peoples lives..
I sent them a very simalar letter a few years ago when they were trying to sort out access rights for my child when I was trying to get his father to see him more frequently.
The woman who was dealing with our case was a joke to say the least.. she even let the lastest girlfriend of the time (who was a complete nut job) into the contact centre without my permission. Then one day she collected my son for his visit with his father and told me she was feeling a bit skitish in the head from the strong pain killers... that was that. enough was enough I told em to rsole in the end and sorted the matter out myself.. she even tryed to defend herself by saying it was my fault anyway because my parents are divorced she even went as far as to say that she recommended I seek a therapist to work out my issues with my parents ?!! W.T.F I was blistering to say the least as she never once said any of these thing to me at all, because if she did I would have shown her the door with my foot up her jacksy. :rant:
It seems to me that these underqualifyed caffcass workers can put whatever they want into thses reports regardless of the consiquenses.
How they can come to some of the conclusions I have seen in many of thses reports after spending maybe a few hours with a family is beyond me. Afterall not a single one of them seems to have spent any length of time studying properly. Right thats it rant over need to stay calm...... but yes caffcass do suck.. alot..

I agree wholehartedly.... CAFFCASS are a incompenant bunch of jumped up hitlers playing god with peoples lives..

And look what he did?


I must apologise to you Honey Plant, for lest we forget this is an issue that affects both men and women not just men.

On that subject I would like to set up a meet to discuss this with people affected by these tossers. Maybe somebody can let me know of a place in Sheffield where this can be done and I will organise the rest.

The reason why

If CAFFCAS are this bad, which they are. Surely if new members to the caffcass regime had all the relevant information from other ex caffcass disgruntles, they would have a little extra power in the courts should a personality take over.

Let’s give to the people something to fight with instead of words.Lets give them true stories and outcomes to offer to the relavent legal institutions.

Up the Revolution!!!

Peg_Leg,

This is a common theme these days. I myself have lost contact to me son and the 'system' would not do anything to help me, even though my ex is with holding access for no reason other than getting back at me.

The system sucks and in its current form is wholly biased against fathers. Thankfully the likes of Fathers 4 Justice and Families Need Fathers who have a Sheffield branch (http://www.fnf-sheffield.org.uk) are fighting for all of our rights.

I don’t agree with Dragons comments that F4J are a waste of space. F4J have brought this issue into the gaze of the media which has brought this issue into the forefront of politics today.

Please do not apologise, Its an issue that effects many parents and children, Personally as a child from a broken home myself my view on parental contact is very strong. I really missed my dad when I was little, and I feel now that whatever my eldests farther has done to me he should still see him.
Unfortunatley my eldests father has a different view to this and is currently sunning it up in greece for the whole summer.. its like knackers to the Caffcass order that he has his son at weekends and holidays.. and what do they do after they have shuffled there crappy paperwork.. nothing...
I would love to put my views back to the staff down there.. you will have to P.M me if you manage to sort anything out..

Glad to see this topic revived. Just thought everyone would like to know CAFCASS is advertising for volunteers to work in their contact centre. I'm sure I took a printout of something else from the same site and I'll see if I can find the link to post on this forum.

im in total agreement with the person who started this thread cafcass are completly useless and i base this opinion on my dealings with them from 6 years ago

Fathers for Justice or the other way round have definitely highlighted the plight of fathers who want to se their kids.

Not all fathers are raving lunatics who climb on top of high buildings or trespass or dress up as santa etc. And according to newspaper reports - which may be wrong or right - I could not say, but those particular fathers reported were abusive in their relationships, convicts and so on. If I was in this catagory then I would not blame the kids mother from preventing me seeing them.

Mention F4J and most of the time the response will be - Yeahg! Those idiots dressed as pixies who sat on the roof of buckingham palace. Good response? Leave that for you to decide. Have you checked out their website? Have they actually achieved anything other than words and getting themselves in the headlines?

Sorry - thought this was about the rights of children.

Dragon

i really feel for you guys that are trying to see your kids.
im recently divorced and im doing all i can to ensure my ex has maximum contact with HIS children, i dont like what he,s done to us and nothing would give me better pleasure than to get back at him,BUT , there is no way i would use OUR kids as a weapon.
i work with children and see what can happen when parents split, they start to blame themselves, and become very emotional, its just not fair to put these kids through such ordeals. by the sound of it , i,m more qualified than these caffcass workers, think i might apply for a job.
i realy hope that something gets done soon, and children can become happy again.

Whenever a thread starts edging towards a fathers rights to see his children and the fact it is the childs mother who is responsible for this with no other reason than to destroy the father - the thread gets deleted or moved to where it cannot be accessed.

So - best to keep well away from that side of the subject and stay on with the critisism of Cafcass.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
Whenever a thread starts edging towards a fathers rights to see his children and the fact it is the childs mother who is responsible for this with no other reason than to destroy the father - the thread gets deleted or moved to where it cannot be accessed.

So - best to keep well away from that side of the subject and stay on with the critisism of Cafcass.

Dragon

Dragon I think that makes very sound sense. Unfortunately I havent been able to find the volunteer site which states CAFCASS is looking for volunteers. Personally I find it a tad disturbing that they are using volunteers who may or may not be suitably qualified to care for children in emotionally stressful situations. Personally I think providing such a service on the cheap is the height of irresponsibility.

My recollection of issues from previous threads are that mediation, evidence and supposedly impartial service seem to be unfairly biased.

sorry, better stick to caffcass then

Originally posted by wendygs
Dragon I think that makes very sound sense. Unfortunately I havent been able to find the volunteer site which states CAFCASS is looking for volunteers. Personally I find it a tad disturbing that they are using volunteers who may or may not be suitably qualified to care for children in emotionally stressful situations. Personally I think providing such a service on the cheap is the height of irresponsibility.

My recollection of issues from previous threads are that mediation, evidence and supposedly impartial service seem to be unfairly biased.
Well said wendy.....

my son has had dealings with cafcass for the last 3 years due to his ex partner persisting to be very awkward.i dont know if anyone on here has had dealings with the same one,but my son complained to his bosses because he was not happy with the way he was being treated .what a waste of time.hes supposed to be non biassed in cases where there are disputes between ex partners over their children.not in his case,he wont have anything wrong said about the mother,even though the family background is ,well, not very family orientated to say the least.yet this cafcass officer is very persistant in making it as hard as possible for my son to see his kids,so much so that the case has now gone backwards instead of moving forward.hes even resorted to blackmail.telling my son that if we even try to try to try to get the rights to see our grandchildren,who we havnt been allowed to see for over a year,he will stop my son from being able to have anything at all to do with his kids.does that sound like a non biassed person,i dont think so.cafcass and the courts should be grateful that theyre not having to chase after these fathers because theyd rather shirk their responsibility.my son will continue to fight on as long as he is able and until he gets what he wants.in the meantime,maybe we should all apply for jobs as cafcass officers as we could probably all do a far better job than the ones that are presently employed.and the debate will go on.......

Fathers 4 Justice can't be that ineffective, as I hear of them on the news quite a bit (albeit not as much recently). Write to your MP would be my advice.

I want to respond to Peg Leg!
Mediators are not Family Court Advisors and not the authors of the Court Report filed in family cases. Mediators are there to try to find some compromise and agreement which causes the least harm to the child between quarrelling parents. Children are caught in the middle of fighting parents, they often blame themselves for the mess parents create. This causes them emotional harm. It is cheaper and more effective for parents to reach a compromise between themselves than to have a protracted dispute aired in court. Some parents have legal aid and others represent themselves, some have to pay for the cost of a hearing. It is not a level playing field.

The best thing a parent can do is to see things from the childs view point and stop arguing with each other. Children love both parents and each parent should recognise this and agree reasonable contact. Contact is not an opportunity to score points on the other parent.

Cafcass is there to promote the childs interests and to find a way to allow the child to have contact with both parents if it is safe to do so. Protracted disputes do not benefit the child. Some times it can get so bad that contact has to be denied in the interests of the child.

It is better to cooperate with Cafcass and keep moving contact forward. It takes time but if the parent with contact is consistent and puts the childs needs first there has to be a very, very good reason for the courts to deny contact. It is the court that decides not Cafcass.

Family Court Advisors are qualified social workers.